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That’s Just Uncanny

, , , , , , | Working | May 10, 2022



This is one of the weirdest things to have ever happened to me. To start, I had a drinking problem when I was in my early twenties, and while I toyed with the idea of getting sober, I never really had the motivation. I had a coworker who was a little odd and kind of a goofball, but she was really sweet. I went in to work one day and was getting ready to head out onto the floor when she stopped me.

Coworker: “Congratulations on your pregnancy!”

Me: “Uh… I’m not pregnant.”

It was really strange, because she said it with such certainty. I didn’t think any more about it. The next day, I came in and was very excited for a party I’d be going to that night.

Me: “[Husband] and I are going out tonight. I’m getting smashed!”

Coworker: “That’s not a good idea. [My Name], you’ll hurt the baby. Could you stick to water or soda tonight?”

Me: “[Coworker], I’m not pregnant.”

She kept giving me strange looks all day, but I shrugged it off and went to the party anyway. I got wasted and enjoyed myself. The next week, I missed my period. After a few days of it not coming, I took a pregnancy test and… yes. I was pregnant. I got to work and took her aside.

Me: “Hey, so… Yeah, I’m pregnant. How the h*** did you know?”

Coworker: “Huh? I don’t know. You just looked different when you walked in, and that’s what popped into my head.”

It didn’t end here, though. About a month later, I had a miscarriage. I was devastated and had to take time off work. I went through that phase of grief where I felt like it was my fault for not listening to my coworker, even though I had no way of knowing at that time that I was pregnant. When I went back to work, she also seemed really upset for me, and she apologized over and over, even though it wasn’t her fault. 

About six months later, I was going in to work, and my coworker stopped what she was doing to look at me.

Coworker: “Oh! Hey, congratulations on the baby!”

Manager: “[Coworker]! This is not funny! Don’t you joke about that right now! Apologize to her for it!”

Coworker: “But… but she’s pregnant again.”

I had plans to go out that same weekend, and I cancelled them immediately, just to be safe. I stuck to water to drink and didn’t really over-exert myself. About a week later, I missed my period. Another pregnancy test later, followed by a visit to the doctor confirmed that yes, I was pregnant. Again. I had a healthy daughter nine months later, and it helped me finally get sober.

Pickling Her Way Right Into A Pickle

, , , , , | Legal | May 9, 2022

I work in a grocery store. A lady came into the store, broke a glass pickle jar, and then stepped on it until she sliced her foot open. She threatened to sue us.

She was later charged with fraud because she was supposed to be on “bed rest” due to an injury. She forgot there was video footage, so she didn’t get anything, and she had to pay back all her fraudulent earnings.

We’d Call That Joke Cheesy, But It’d Be Too Easy

, , , , , , , | Working | May 7, 2022

I work for a big box store as a backroom employee. The core of my job is to unload trucks and stock shelves, which means I handle a lot of product and open a lot of boxes. Unfortunately for me, I have delicate hands that seem to get cut on just about anything I touch, including deodorant and blankets. I’ve tried various gloves, and I’d rather face the paper cuts than rashes from the gloves I can find. It’s a running joke at work that I consume an excessive amount of bandaids daily.

This time, I’m helping to stock refrigerated items, and lo and behold, the edge of a package of cheese nicks me pretty good. Recounting this event later in the break room, I tell my coworkers this:

Me: “It was some sharp cheddar.”

Cue a room full of groaning.

Accidentally Giving Her An Earful

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: functi0nalPsych0path | May 7, 2022

I’m listening to the “Dune” series again on Audible to prepare for the movie coming out. I’m at a western wear store getting my winter hat reformed and cleaned. While they are doing that, I’m looking around, as one does. I have my earphones in.

I have a prosthetic ear on my right side that is held on by magnets. When I have earphones in, I still put them in both ears to make things look even, and it takes up some of the weight that would just be hanging off my left side if I didn’t — not that the weight is heavy, just annoying.

I’m kneeled over, looking at some boots, and my earphones are yanked off by a woman who starts barking at me. I’m pissed because she’s holding on to my earphones in her hand, and I can see that my ear is still attached to them.

I’m pissed, but the image of a woman barking while my ear is swinging from my earbud is enough to get me laughing.

She stops.

Woman: “What’s so darn funny?!”

Me: *Pointing* “Can I have my ear back?”

She looked down, screamed, dropped everything, and ran away. I went back to shopping and eventually got my hat taken care of.

I hope she dreams about my ear every night.

Are They Head Of The Callousness Department?

, , , , , | Working | May 6, 2022

I am working as a math tutor part-time while I’m taking online classes. Our department chair who oversees my boss is often unreasonable and unkind to us, as most of us do not have more than an associate’s degree. But this story really gave me a warning to get out of the place.

Due to a botched adenoid surgery I had as a toddler, I am prone to horrific sinus infections that cause unbelievable amounts of pain and can quickly progress to the point where I have to go to the ER. On this particular day, I woke up feeling the beginning signs, and throughout the day they worsened to the point that the over-the-counter painkillers I had in my purse did nothing.

My shift ended and I clocked out, intending to go to Urgent Care for antibiotics and painkillers. But on my way out, the department head stopped me.

Department Head: “I need you to go outside the testing room and watch a student we think is cheating.”

Students have up to two hours to complete a test, meaning I could potentially be in pain in the hall the entire time.

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m on my way to urgent care. Maybe [Coworker] can do it?”

Department Head: “No, he doesn’t look like a student. We need you to do it. “

Me: “I have a really bad sinus infection and I really need to get to urgent care.”

Department Head: “I’m sorry you scheduled a doctor’s appointment so close to your work hours, but you should have expected that you might have to stay after.”

Nowhere in my contract does it say this. Hours are sent out the week before, and excepting illness or emergency, they are set in stone.

Me: “[Department Head], I’m really sorry I can’t help, but I’m in extreme pain and I really need to get medical attention.”

Department Head: “You seem to be perfectly fine to me. But if you won’t do it, I guess I’ll find someone.”

I got the heck out of there and rushed to Urgent Care where I was given antibiotics and prescription painkillers. I was also given a note not to go to work the next day, as I needed to be resting. 

The next week, I found that my hours had been cut to half their usual, leaving the tutoring center short-staffed. When I asked my boss if I could work more hours to help, she told me that [Department Head] had asked her to “shorten my schedule due to my medical emergency”.

This persisted for another week, with the short-staffing continuing as many tutors were students and had set up their work schedules around their classes and studying. Then, suddenly, I was back to my full hours.

This is only the first story I could tell about this place, and I finally ended up quitting when they refused to do anything about workplace harassment because the harasser was [Department Head]’s friend.