Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Silence Is Golden

, , , , | Right | May 25, 2022

It’s Armistice Day, and like the rest of the country, our little charity is observing two minutes of silence in honour of the fallen. Several of us are working in the kitchen at the time and have stopped for the silence together. After roughly a minute, the quiet is broken by the sound of a bell ringing throughout the site, intended to alert to the phone ringing if no-one is in the office. I share a surprised look with one of the other volunteers but try to ignore it because the office on the other side of the site from us and I know our administrator is there today.

It just keeps ringing, all the way through the remaining minute of silence. A few seconds after the silence concludes, the ringing ends and we all get back to our duties.

During our lunch break, I head over to the office for a chat with the admin, the topic of the caller quickly comes up, and she tells me what happened. Sure enough, she had been there and remained observing the silence while the phone rang away. Our admin is a straight-talking, takes-no-crap-from-anybody kind of lady who lost several great-granduncles in World War I, so naturally, this didn’t go down well with her. Once it concluded, she picked up the phone to hear an older, huffy-sounding woman on the other end. Unfortunately for her, our admin also has a good temper and a sense of timekeeping.

Admin: “Good morning, [Charity] helpline.”

Caller: “Well, it’s about time. I thought I was going to go to an answering machine with how long you were taking!”

Admin: “I’m sorry for the delay in answering. I was observing the two minutes silence.”

Caller: “Oh… OH! I’m so sorry! I had completely lost track of time!”

The caller was much more polite after that, and the admin was able to help them with their concern. At least they managed to give us volunteers a decent story to share that day!

An Unnatural Use For Natural History

, , , , , , | Right | May 12, 2022

I’m working at a natural history museum. I see a little child running toward a model of one of our dinosaurs. They are eagerly admiring it and I can’t help telling them a few fun facts. Suddenly, their mother runs over and pulls them aside.

Mother: “No! Remember, I told you, no dinosaurs!”

The mother then narrows her eyes at me.

Mother: “And you! You should be ashamed of yourself, poisoning young minds into thinking dinosaurs were real!”

Me: “But ma’am, they were.”

Mother: “No! Dinosaur bones were put into the ground by the devil to confuse people and make them believe in evolution.”

Me: “I… Ma’am, if you believe that, then why are you at a natural history museum?”

Mother: “I wanted my child to see the volcano exhibit.”

Me: “Oh, that’s great. Just up these stairs.”

Mother: “Come with me, [Child]. You need to see what Hell will look and feel like in case you start straying again.”

Someone Needs To Check In On The Daughter!

, , , , | Right | May 9, 2022

There’s this one customer that the owners know who comes in and tends to just get a cup of hot water for tea. I don’t know much about him as I just started working here. He has a strong cockney accent, but I have no idea if he’s even from London. I have this conversation with him.

Regular Customer: *To no one in particular* “I bloody wish I lived in the fourteenth century. The thirteenth and fourteen centuries were the good old days.”

Me: *Thinking he’s being funny* “How would you know? You weren’t around back then!”

Regular Customer: “But they didn’t have any laws back then! You could kill whoever you wanted!”

Me: “I guess we’ve developed moral codes since then.”

Regular Customer: “Back then, you could kill your kids. We should still be allowed to kill our kids. My daughters are so annoying. One of ’em is in New York, though, so I just have to get rid of the other one!”

I just turned and let him rant while I made the drinks for other tables.

Ahhh, The Good Ol’ Days

, , , | Right | May 7, 2022

I worked at a tech help desk in 1995. Some of the people I dealt with really struggled with technology.

One time, I saw a lady try to use a mouse like a sewing machine pedal — on the floor, with her foot. She called the help desk to complain because the mouse cable wouldn’t quite reach the floor.

We also had one computer’s CD drive destroyed by the user using the tray as a coffee cup holder. They said they thought that’s what it was for.

We had another user who kept reporting that their floppy disk drive was malfunctioning and losing their work. We replaced that drive three times and finally caught them pinning their disks to the wall with a fairly strong magnet to keep others from using them.

The 1990s were fun.

Bad Tourists Never Go Out Of Tile

, , , , , | Right | May 4, 2022

My daughter (a future archeologist) and I were visiting a dig site in Turkey with a small tour group from our cruise ship. The staff showed us a beautiful Roman Era mosaic pavement they were preserving, pouring water on it to bring the colors to life.

One man from our group, an enthusiastic photographer, stepped on the pavement to take a photo! Gasps of horror from all present.

His son hurriedly pulled him off and apologized. The photographer never did seem to understand what he did wrong.