She Came In To Get A Different Kind Of Water

, , , , | Right | September 22, 2020

A lady approaches my checkout. She seems a little upset, so when I serve her, I ask how she is.

Me: “Is everything all right?”

Lady: “I… I don’t know.”

Me: “Is there anything I can do for you? Would you like me to call anyone down to help you?”

The lady is quiet so I don’t push it for a few minutes, but there is seriously something wrong, so as she hands me the money…

Me: “Are you completely sure everything is okay?”

Lady: “I think my water just broke.”

Everything turned out fine; the lady’s husband was called and she was eventually taken to hospital. She had a boy!

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It’s A Good Thing She Couldn’t See The Look On Your Face

, , , , | Right | September 20, 2020

Customer: “I would like to get $6.50 on pump fifteen.”

Me: “All right, that will be $6.50.”

The customer slides over a $10 bill, a quarter, and a nickel.

Me: “Ma’am, this is not enough change. This is a nickel and a quarter.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought that was a quarter.”

She gets a quarter out of her pocketbook to replace the nickel.

Me: “I can understand; the newer nickels can kind of look like quarters because of the new designs on them.”

Customer: “Oh, no… I’m legally blind!”

She was driving.

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The Perfect Place For A Coronary!

, , , , , | Healthy | September 19, 2020

A friend of mine and I are hanging out on the weekend in the next town over, and we stop to get lunch at a deli that’s just opened up that someone else I know has been raving about. The place is small, with several tables close to where you place your order, and all of said tables are full. We walk up to place our orders.

Server: “What can I get you guys today?”

Me: “Can I get a [Special] on white, with no mayo and extra onion?”

Server: “Sure thing!” *Turns to my friend* “What can I get for you, sir?”

My friend is a bit of a picky eater, so it takes him a second to respond. And he tends to like meat and cheese… a lot of meat and cheese.

Friend: *Still skimming the menu* “Yeah… Can I get [Sandwich], no veggies or condiments, with double meat, triple bacon, and quadruple cheese? And some salt.”

The server gives him a strange look and I just snicker.

Me: “He’ll have a heart attack on a bun, basically.”

The server and my friend laugh, and one of the tables behind us pipes up.

Random Person: “Just so you guys know, we’re off-duty.”

I turned around to see who was talking to us; seated directly behind my friend and me was a group of off-duty EMTs, still in uniform! My friend, the server, and I all cracked up laughing for a good minute, and so did the group of EMTs. One of the funniest stars-aligned moments I’ve had to date!

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She Has Cast You Into The Role Of Helper

, , , , , | Right | September 18, 2020

A woman comes in who has been in an accident. She has trouble walking and her arm is in a cast, so she asks me to help her shop. It is quite slow at this time of the day, so this isn’t much of a problem.

I help her do the shopping, and she is being kind of grumpy and commanding me around the whole time, making me go from one aisle to the other and back again, etc. 

When the shopping is done, I help her check out and bag her stuff; that isn’t usually done by store staff in the Netherlands. She tells me to take her stuff out to her car, which isn’t a problem, but it makes me wonder how she was able to drive, seeing the physical state that she is in. 

We arrive at her car, which is parked right in front of our store — in the handicapped-spot without a permit, even though there are plenty of parking spaces open — and in the drivers’ seat is her fully able-bodied husband. 

It still puzzles me to this day why she would ask store staff to go shopping with her and snap at, instead of her husband.

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The New iNfect

, , , , , | Right | September 18, 2020

In an effort to avoid the spread of anything contagious, my cell phone store doesn’t allow customers to touch any of the phones we have on display. This is printed on numerous signs around the phones, and the screensaver on each phone even has, “Please don’t touch,” running on each and every one of them. Even still, people grab the phones to try them or play with them all day long. We’ve had to tell adults to please stop touching them.

A woman picks up a display model.

Coworker: “Ma’am, please don’t touch the phones. We’re trying to avoid the spread of disease.”

Customer: “Oh, of course. I won’t.”

She put the phone down, and literally four seconds later, she picked up the next one. This is why we have to clean everything with disinfectant all day long.

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