Take A Pregnant Pause To Reconsider Your Ideals

, , , , , , | Right | July 28, 2021

I used to work for a Christian retailer for many years, and whoo-boy, could I tell some stories. This one sticks in my mind, however.

One of my coworkers, a young unmarried female, fell pregnant — a bit of a no-no to our customer base. To assist her, she was retrained for a different department which had limited contact with the shop floor. One day, however, she needed to get something from the counter and a female customer spotted her.

Immediately, the customer exclaimed:

Customer: “Oh, you’re pregnant! That’s so exciting! Your husband must be so pleased.”

I could see my coworker have a mini internal struggle as to whether she should lie or tell the truth. She chose the latter and advised the customer that she was not married.

The customer’s countenance immediately changed and she began raging about sin and how terrible this girl was, etc. I bee-lined over right away and politely asked my coworker, now close to tears, to please pop out back for a moment as the manager was looking for her.

As soon as she left, I whirled on the customer and let fly.

Me: “How dare you judge that girl! You have no idea the circumstances surrounding her pregnancy! She may have been raped for all you know! Or divorced. Or any number of things. You have no right to judge her whatsoever.”

I let fly for a few more moments before the customer, who at least now looked properly chastened, left the store.

As soon as she left, my manager popped out from the next aisle, having heard the whole thing.

Manager: “You know, I technically should reprimand you for speaking to a customer like that.” *Pauses* “I won’t, though. Well done.”

We never saw that customer again.

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Shaken, Stirred, And Totally Served

, , , , , , , , , | Right | July 27, 2021

I am third in the queue at a local supermarket. At the counter, there is a lovely, polite, elderly lady with the telltale jerking movements of Parkinson’s. Her voice is a little slurred, soft, and monotonous.

Lady: “I’m sorry I’m so slow. Can I just get these?”

She puts through five items, mostly lunch stuff.

Cashier: “No worries, not a problem at all! Would you like a bag?”

The next customer cuts in.

Man: “Well, I’m f****** worried! You shouldn’t be allowed out in public like that.”

He gets up in the old lady’s face.

Cashier: “Stop that immediately!”

Man: “Listen, b****, I shouldn’t have to wait in line because some old f***** can’t handle her highs!”

Meanwhile, the old lady is calmly putting her stuff in her bag… except for a can of soda which she holds in her hand.

Cashier: “Excuse me. That is my mother, and she has Parkinson’s Disease; it is a neurological degenerative condition that causes those movements.”

The manager can be seen approaching but is still a few moments away.

Man: “Like f*** she is! She’s just high!”

The lady opens the now very well-shaken can of soda and proceeds to drop it at the man’s feet, causing it to spurt upward in a jet of foam and thoroughly soak him.

Lady: “Oh, I’m terribly sorry! I have Parkinson’s disease. There was a spasm in my hand and I let go of it. I’m soooooo sorry!”

The other customer shouts for a bit and then gets thrown out by the manager.

The elderly lady then waits at the end of the checkout to speak to her daughter after she finishes serving me, and that’s when I notice her mischievous grin.

Me: “You totally meant to do that, didn’t you?” *Smirks*

Lady: “H*** yeah, I did!” *Smiles sweetly* “I may have Parkinson’s, but I can still deal with an a**hole or two!”

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How Is A Mask Worse Than Holding Your Shirt Over Your Face?!

, , , | Right | CREDIT: Burritospecial | July 21, 2021

I work in a restaurant. A lady and her two kids come in, and she is the only one not wearing a mask.

Me: “Miss, do you have a mask?”

Lady: “No, I don’t.”

Me: “You need one to come in and eat.”

Lady: “This is ridiculous. Can I just come in like this?”

She covers her nose with her shirt.

Me: “No, you can’t do that.”

Lady: “Oh, my God.”

And she pulls a mask out of her pocket! Now I’m pissed because she obviously lied to me in the first place.

Me: “Wow, you had it in your pocket the whole time and didn’t want to put it on!”

Lady: “Well, I have a medical condition that doesn’t require me to wear a mask.”

Me: *In an angry tone* “Then I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe you shouldn’t come in and eat if you have a medical problem.”

Lady: “Then maybe I won’t.”

And she walked away.

After that, a couple came up and paid up at the register. One of them said, “Hey, man, I appreciate what you did. I know you probably go through a lot every day with people like that.”

At least someone appreciates me standing up for my own restaurant.

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You Can’t Mask The Driver’s True Feelings

, , , , , | Right | July 20, 2021

Bus Driver: “You’ll need to pull your mask up.”

A passenger who just boarded has his mask around his chin.

Passenger: “No.”

He goes to pay his bus fare. The driver blocks the coin slot.

Bus Driver: “Then you can’t ride the bus.” 

This should not be news for anyone, as for several months now the bus company has had bulletins on the windows of every bus and train, and at each station, that this is now policy for the whole city-wide transit system.

Passenger: “What? That’s stupid. What does the mask even protect you from?”

Bus Driver: “It protects you from getting kicked off the bus. Mask up or get off.” 

The passenger swore at the bus driver and left.

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Sometimes You Have To Go Off-Script

, , , , , | Healthy | July 20, 2021

I work in a pharmacy, so you can imagine that we get more than our fair share of sick, coughing people. Unfortunately, that also means that we get more than our fair share of people who insist they cannot wear a mask. While corporate has refused to allow us to use curbside service, my management HAS been very good at backing us up and insisting we can refuse service to people that don’t comply.

Customer: “Hi, I just need this script filled.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, can you please put on your mask?”

Customer: “No, I have a medical exemption.”

Me: “I’m afraid that I am going to have to insist.”

Customer: “I cannot wear a mask.”

Me: “Ma’am, we will refuse service to anyone who isn’t wearing a mask. Many of our customers are high-risk.”

At this, she lifts her script to press it flat against the plastic of the barrier between us.

Customer: “The sooner you give me these, the sooner I can leave and start taking them so that I can wear a mask. But I need this script first.”

I am about to keep arguing, but then I realise what the medication on the script is. It’s a strong prescription painkiller, used for nerve disease and shingles and its complications.

I then look at the woman’s face again, and  I realise the redness on her cheeks and jaw are not embarrassment or just a ruddy complexion but inflammation.

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. I’ll… get right on that.”

Could she have been clearer? Given the particular painkiller, probably not.

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