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Some Bosses Expect The Impossible

, , , , , | Working | October 13, 2021

A few times a year, I get laryngitis and cannot even utter a squeak. I don’t get a whole lot of warning when it’s about to hit me, but when it does, I’m pretty much a street mime until it decides to pass. I don’t tend to call off work unless I’m so ill that I feel like I can’t legitimately do my job. When you answer calls all day long, not having a voice falls into this category.

One day, a few hours into my shift, my voice goes out completely. I frantically write a note to my supervisor explaining what has happened and that I will need to go home.

Supervisor: “No, you cannot leave! We’ve had way too many people call out today! Get back on the phone right now!”

Rather than argue, I decide to just do what I’m told. I get back on the phone and allow the calls to roll in. I attempt to greet each customer, but of course, nothing comes out of my mouth. The customers repeat, “Hello?” several times before finally hanging up. This goes on for about an hour.

Finally, my supervisor comes over to me.

Supervisor: “Umm… so, Quality was trying to monitor your calls just now. You can go home. Take as long as you need to get your voice back.”

I could have been snarky. Instead, I just wrote a polite, “Thank you,” and clocked out for the day. I’m still not sure how they expected me to do over-the-phone tech support without being able to talk.

Assuming And Assaulting Make You Double The A**

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: MPrigge0124 | October 13, 2021

I am a twenty-five-year-old woman, and I have about five different things wrong with my left foot and ankle. I have three forms of tendonitis and two joints with osteoarthritis in my foot. I also had surgery on this ankle about two and a half years ago. I deal with a lot of pain and have a very noticeable limp. I’m in pain almost every single day of my life, and currently, there isn’t much I can do to alleviate the pain.

I work ten-hour shifts and range from being on my feet the whole time to possibly sitting most of the day. Yesterday was a very busy day, so I was on my feet the whole time. By the time I got off, I was in a lot of pain — probably about a nine on the pain scale. I needed to stop at the grocery store to pick up some veggies to go with dinner. I was doing my shopping and was just getting through the store pretty slowly so as not to cause any shooting pains in my ankle and foot. All the sudden, this elderly woman stopped me.

Woman: “I just hate your generation! All you guys do is fake an injury so you don’t have to work. Your limp isn’t real. Get over yourself.”

Me: “Okay.”

I tried walking away. I was so exhausted and really didn’t care what she thought. I just wanted to get my stuff, leave, and go home to ice my ankle.

Then, the woman walked up behind me, pretended to stumble, and full-on kicked my left ankle.

Woman: “Oops, sorry!”

I yelped in pain, now fully pissed off and crying in pain. I turned around and pointed to my visibly swollen ankle.

Me: “Okay, b****, look at my ankles! Do you notice the difference in sizes? I’m actually in a lot of f****** pain! I just got off a ten-hour shift being on my feet the whole day and have multiple injuries in this leg!”

Woman: *Surprised* “Well, how am I supposed to know that?”

Me: “You aren’t because we don’t know each other! But you decided to make my problems your business by saying I’m faking it and then kicking me.”

An employee walked up after hearing my yelp and the commotion.

Employee: “What seems to be the issue here?”

Me: “I was accused of faking an injury because my generation sucks and then was kicked in my bad leg.”

Woman: “She’s faking it and you can tell she can walk just fine. I didn’t mean to kick her. I stumbled and it just happened.”

Employee: *To me* “Would you like to police called to file a report?”

The woman went pale white and started to stutter.

Me: “No, I just want this lady to f*** off, and I want to finish shopping and go home!”

The woman tried to continue pleading her case but instead got kicked out of the store, and I got a discount on my groceries!

I don’t think she injured my ankle any more because this morning, there wasn’t any bruising and the swelling had gone down.

We Should Totally Just Drug Grandma! (Not Really)

, , , , , , , | Related | October 12, 2021

CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

 

I submitted this story. Grandma is up to her tricks again.

One of our cats figured out that if she puts her toys on the track for Grandma’s stairlift, it acts like a slide. This same cat also found and stole a bunch of pipe cleaners my mom had planned on using in her classroom. One day, Grandma wants to come downstairs but her stairlift isn’t working. My dad figures a cat toy is probably jammed in there — not the first time that’s happened — and tries to get it unstuck. It still doesn’t work. Dad tries a few things over the weekend but he can’t fix it. He calls a guy on Monday to come out and look at it later that week. The guy finds that a pipe cleaner has slid in and the metal part touched something and shorted out something electrical. He has to order a part, though, so Grandma is stuck upstairs for at least another week.

Grandma barely leaves her bedroom. It’s actually rather pleasant downstairs, especially at mealtimes. Dad brings her food every day so she doesn’t starve and we don’t have to put up with her. But she starts to get stir-crazy and her behavior gets more extreme as time goes on.

Because Grandma is barely moving, she starts to develop muscle cramps in her legs. A normal person might try stretching or doing a few laps in the hallway upstairs. Not my grandmother. She calls her doctor and gets a prescription for Percocet. She takes one pill, decides it doesn’t work, and schedules another video appointment with the doctor.

My dad is working from home right now, but Grandma doesn’t understand, no matter how many times he explains it to her, that just because he is home, it does not mean he can jump up whenever she calls. Dad gets up super early and finishes his work by 2:00 pm every day. He tells her to schedule her appointments for after 2:00 so he can help her set up the video call. She schedules the second appointment for 11:00 am. When her appointment time arrives, she calls the house phone downstairs and tells him to help her. He says he’s in a meeting and can’t right now. She calls my uncle — Dad’s brother — and says Dad is refusing to help her with her doctor’s appointment. My uncle calls Dad and is like, “what the heck are you doing?” and comes over to help her. The doctor prescribes her Tylenol with tramadol. Once again, she takes one pill and decides it doesn’t work.

The night before her stairlift is supposed to be fixed, she calls the house phone around 9:00 pm. She wants us to take her to the ER so she can get a shot for her pain because “the last shot I got lasted me nine months.” Dad points out that her stairlift is still broken and she can’t get downstairs.

Grandma: “I’m having shooting pain down my legs. I have to go to the hospital. Call 911 and they’ll carry me downstairs.”

Dad: “I’m not calling 911 just so they can carry you downstairs. Did you try Advil?”

Grandma: “No, I can’t take Advil because the doctor wants me to take acetaminophen and you can’t mix those drugs.”

Dad: “When was the last time you took acetaminophen?”

Grandma: “Yesterday. Just call 911 so they can take me to the hospital.”

Dad: “First, how do you plan on paying for this trip? Second, how do you expect to get home?”

Grandma: “They’ll bring me back once I’m done.”

Dad: “No, they won’t. You need to move around some. That will help. But if you really want to go to the hospital, then you can call 911.”

Miraculously, her pain suddenly wasn’t that bad. And sure enough, once the stairlift was fixed and she was able to go downstairs, she started moving around more and she wasn’t in any more pain. And so ends a lovely three weeks without Grandma.

Related:
We Should Totally Just Stab Caesar! (Salad), Part 2
We Should Totally Just Stab Caesar! (Salad)

First Aid Doesn’t Come First

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: Himabee | October 10, 2021

I was in the middle of serving a man and woman and their kid when our customer service worker made the announcement that she needed a first aider to go to the front of the store. That was my job as I was the only first aider in the store as far as I knew.

I called over my supervisor.

Supervisor: “Go ahead and attend the call. I’ll take you off the till and finish scanning the shopping.”

The man I was serving then decided to block me in behind my till with his trolly.

Man: “We’ve been waiting here for ages in this queue and our son is exhausted. You’re gonna finish this shop before you go for your break or whatever.”

Me: “I’m needed for a first aid call.”

But he wouldn’t budge and I couldn’t just barge past him. My supervisor kept demanding that I be let out, and every time, the man and his wife refused to let me go.

Wife: “You could have finished our shopping by now if you weren’t f****** around!”

Eventually, I gave up and just scanned through all their stuff as fast as I could with little care and then ran to the front of the store. Luckily, my colleague had attended the call and it was nothing serious, but man, imagine if someone had smashed their head on the floor!

The *Click* At The End Of A Story Was Never So Sweet

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: applesaurus772 | October 9, 2021

At my call center, we handle a specific benefit where members can purchase over-the-counter items with a credit that the plan gives. Mostly, we handle Medicare and Medicaid recipients.

My day is going all right and then this screaming banshee comes through the line.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Insurance Company]. My name is [My Name]. Who do I have the pleasure of assisting today?”

Caller: “My name is Mrs. [Caller], spelled—

She lists out the spelling of her easily spelled first name but doesn’t spell out her last name.

Caller: “—and I’m calling for my mother. Did you get that?!”

I roll my eyes to check on my few remaining brain cells.

Me: “Yes, Mrs. [Caller]. Is your mother available to give me permission to speak with you?”

It’s always easier for us to get permission from the member; otherwise, we have to call over to member services and see who’s on file simply because we don’t have access to it. That’s the plan’s choice, which we have no control over.

Usually, this is when important information comes up, like if the member has a physical disability or anything like that.

Caller: “Oh, fine. Here, talk to her.”

The caller hands the phone to her mother, and I hear garbled mumbling and a very choked, barely formulated yes. I start to give my recording script when the phone is snatched back.

Caller: “Did you hear her? She said yes!”

Me: “Unfortunately, I have to actually speak with the member in order to verify their identity.”

Caller: “Ugh. I’ve never had to do this before, but fine.”

She hands the phone back to her mother. I hear a garbled yes and indecipherable words and start to go into the recording script.

Me: “For security purposes, can you please verify your name?”

I hear mumbling and another yes before the phone is snatched back again.

Caller: “She had a stroke; all she can answer is yes or no questions! God, you have to make everything difficult. I just want to place an order!”

Me: *Rolling my eyes* “Yes, I’m sorry. I did not know your mother had a stroke. Let me go ahead and confirm with member services that you can speak on the member’s behalf. Can I get the spelling of your last name?”

She begrudgingly gives me the spelling while complaining. I put her on hold and call over to member services. Guess what? No power of attorney under her name is on file. Great.

Me: “I’m very sorry, Mrs. [Caller], but we do not have anyone by your name listed that can speak for the member.”

She starts cussing and screaming.

Caller: “I HAVE NEVER HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE! I WANT TO PLACE AN ORDER! JUST TAKE THE D*** ORDER!”

She then goes off somewhere with the phone. In the distance, I hear the mother saying yes again.

Caller: “She’s saying yes! Can you hear her? Now take my f****** order!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but since you’re not on file, I cannot take the order as the member, as you stated, cannot confirm their identity. In the meantime, you can use our website to place an order.”

Caller: “I DON’T WANT TO USE THE WEBSITE! I WANT TO PLACE AN ORDER NOW!”

Me: “Due to HIPAA laws, I cannot access her account. You will have to use the website.”

Caller: “What’s HIPAA? NO ONE HAS EVER DONE THIS BEFORE!”

More screaming and cursing follow.

Me: “Ma’am, HIPAA has been around for decades. No one in my department would have given you access if you were not listed on the account or if the member could not verify their identity. You will have to use the website until you can send in your power of attorney documentation.”

Caller: “NO! I’M GOING TO PLACE AN ORDER!”

Then, the phone changes hands.

Caller’s Husband: “Hi. What is the problem here? This is Mr. [Caller’s Husband].”

His name also is not on the power attorney form we have on file.

Me: “You’re not listed on the account and the member cannot verify their information. To protect the member’s health information, due to HIPAA, you are not allowed access to this account.”

Caller’s Husband: “This is ridiculous. Do we have to switch companies? Because we will cancel the insurance policy if you don’t place this order.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, but no insurance company will allow you access to an account you’re not listed as authorized on. Due to HIPAA laws, if I granted you access, I would be jeopardizing my job, and there are criminal charges associated. No company is going to give you access. Now, again, you have to use the website. That is your only option at this time until we have a power of attorney form on file with Mrs. [Caller]’s name attached to it.”

Caller’s Husband: “I want to speak to your supervisor! This is the worst customer service I’ve ever seen! You just don’t want to do your job. Get me a supervisor.”

Me: “Unfortunately, without an account and without you authorized to speak on behalf of the member, you cannot speak with a supervisor.”

The caller takes the phone back.

Caller: “I WANT TO FILE A GRIEVANCE!”

Me: “Because you’re not listed on the account, you also cannot file a grievance. Now, as I’ve stated before, you can use the website to place an order until your power of attorney paperwork is filed. Otherwise, I cannot assist you.”

Caller: “Well, I’m NOT HANGING UP AND YOU CAN’T DISCONNECT THE CALL!”

Me: “I’m very sorry about that, but I’ve given you your options. And you can stay on the call if you would like; however, I will not be able to assist you with this account.”

Caller: “Well, you’re f****** useless. I don’t have time for your bulls***! I want your name and your employee ID and your supervisor.”

Me: “For security reasons, we do not give out last names or employee IDs. My first name is [My Name].”

Caller: “I want your supervisor and last name. You have to give me that information.”

Me: “No, I do not. My last name is classified for my protection.”

Caller: “You’re such a b****. F*** you.”

Me: “Have the day you deserve.”

Caller: “Likewise, c***.”

Click.