That Was Toe-Curlingly Close

, , , | Related | September 8, 2018

(I’m standing next to the door talking to my mom, and my dad bursts through the door. The door slides over my bare toes, and stops. I try to pull myself free, but I’m stuck.)

Dad: “I need to tell that—”

Me: “Argh! Help!”

Dad: “Move! What are you doing?”

Mom: “For God’s sake, help her!”

(He finally gets that I’m stuck and tries to lift the door, but it’s no good. My mom, who usually is calm, is hysterical.)

Mom: “Get her out! Take her to the hospital!”

(Finally, I pull free, and all my toes are scratched up bad and bleeding. I wiggle them a bit without pain.)

Dad: “She’s fine.”

Mom: “No, she’s not; all of them are broken! All!”

(My toes weren’t broken, which was lucky, since that would’ve been expensive and we were dirt poor. But I never let my Dad forget about that time he nearly cost us a lot!)

Panic Buying Meets Panic Selling

, , , , , | Working | September 7, 2018

(I have anxiety and thus I have panic attacks. I do have tricks to try to prevent them, and the management at my workplace know about it. This day, for reasons unknown to me, my anxiety is high. Coupled with this, several customers accuse me of ripping them off because price changes were not made for some sale items. My break has been delayed a few hours, so as soon as I am told to go to break, I make a sprint for the break room to have a panic attack there.)

Manager: *comes in and sees me* “[My Name], are you okay?” *grabs tissues*

Me: “Anxiety bad. Customers upset.”

(With these short sentences, along with what she witnessed, the manager pieces it together. She stays until I calm down a bit.)

Manager: “Are you all right now?”

Me: “Uh-huh.”

Manager: “Good.” *she gets called on the radio* “I’ll be at the cutting counter if you need me.”

Me: “Okay.” *as she leaves, I realize something* “Before I forget, I got three email signups, one mailer, and one purchase with purchase sale.”

Manager: *befuddled, but marks this down on her clipboard* “Okay.” *mutters as she leaves* “No way am I letting her go if that’s what she can do when she’s near panicked.”

(The last comment made me laugh and helped me calm down enough to go back to work after my break.)

Not Too Chicken To Charge For The Chicken

, , , , | Right | September 6, 2018

(I work in a grill and pub on campus. Along with our bar, we sell things like burgers and occasionally have pizza parties. We have a new computerized menu board that doesn’t show everything in the items, but we have a large menu by the door that does. If a customer gets confused I walk with them and show them this menu and answer questions there. A group comes in for their pizza party but two members quickly come up to the counter, where I’m teaching two new cashiers the ropes.)

Me: “Is there something wrong with your order?”

Customer #1: “No, no. We just want to add some chicken sandwiches to our order.”

Me: “Oh, of course.”

(I write on their order form the added chicken sandwiches which will be rung up later. Our chicken sandwich has chicken, onion aioli, cheddar cheese, tomatoes, and lettuce.)

Me: “Is it all right if everything goes on the sandwiches?”

(The customers nod and their order is sent to the kitchen. When the two sandwiches are ready, I walk them to the party and hand them to the customers. I go back to the front and help with customers, when a woman walks up with her sandwich. However, she stands to a side and doesn’t do anything.)

Me: “Ma’am, is there something wrong with your sandwich?”

Customer #2: “Oh, um… I don’t think this is my sandwich. I wanted a chicken sandwich.”

Me: *looking at the sandwich* “This is our chicken sandwich ma’am. It has onion aioli, cheddar cheese, tomatoes, and lettuce.”

(The customer still looks confused so I walk her to the menu and show her the sandwich on the menu.)

Me: “What did you want on the sandwich?”

Customer #2: “Well I don’t want this aioli. I wanted barbecue sauce.”

(I nod and send the sandwich back. When the new sandwich comes, I take the sandwich to her. Minutes later she returns again.)

Me: “Ma’am, is everything okay?”

Customer #2: “This isn’t what I ordered.”

Me: *taking the sandwich* “Oh, I apologize. What’s the matter with this sandwich?”

Customer #2: “It has tomatoes. I don’t like tomatoes.”

Me: “Ma’am; this sandwich has cheddar cheese, tomatoes, and lettuce. I told you this when you requested the barbecue sauce on the sandwich.”

Customer #2: “Well, I don’t want it.”

(At this point, my manager has come to my side and is helping me with the customer.)

Manager: “Okay, ma’am, so this sandwich will have chicken, cheddar cheese, lettuce, and barbecue sauce. Is this what you wanted.”

Customer #2: “Yes.”

(We put the order in again and walk it out to her. The manager and I breathe a sigh of relief when the woman comes back again.)

Manager: “Ma’am, is there something wrong?”

Customer #2: “This isn’t what I ordered. I thought you people would get it by now!!”

Manager: “Ma’am; we walked through your order with you. You confirmed the order before it started cooking. What is wrong with this sandwich?”

Customer #2: “It has cheese. I’m allergic to cheese.”

(The manager and I stare with disbelief at this woman.)

Manager: “We informed you many times that this sandwich has cheese on this. Do you remember that at all?”

Customer #2: “No, you never told me it had cheese. You’re trying to kill me!”

(My manager has no choice but to make the sandwich again, which annoys the kitchen staff. If an order is sent back, it has to go straight into the trash because the customer touched it. Later, the first customer returns to thank us for the wonderful party and to discuss the bill.)

Manager: “Okay, so we have [name] pizzas, three pitchers of soda, and five chicken sandwiches. That’ll be [total].”

Customer #1: “Five chicken sandwiches? What are you talking about? We only ordered two chicken sandwiches. Why are you trying to over-charge me?”

Manager: “Well, sir, you did order two. However, one sandwich had to be remade many times. This is quite a waste of food, therefore we need to charge you for all the sandwiches.”

(The man grumbled and walked off, scolding the women for making him pay more money. Meanwhile, my manager is now using this story about how to deal with picky customers.)

Reese’s Pieces Of Death

, , , , , | Learning | September 5, 2018

(I have a student who is severely allergic to peanuts. It’s in their IEP that even incidental contact could cause them serious problems, and I have to pay close attention to labels on what I eat and wash my hands vigorously if I have anything nut-related. I’m in a committee meeting in my principal’s office. Her recently-restocked candy dish is FULL of Reese’s Pieces.)

Me: *stares at bowl hungrily and uncertainly*

Principal: “What’s wrong?”

Me: “I really want a Reese’s, but I don’t have time to wash my hands as much as I’d need to before I pick up my class.”

Principal: “Does washing your hands really take that long?”

Me: “I mean, it’s either that or I accidentally kill [Student]…”

(Long pause as I realize what I just joked about, and my principal just stares.)

Principal: *tossing three pieces my way* “Well, if you’re killing [Student], you might as well make it worth your while.”

(For the record, I did wash my hands the required amount, and was only a minute late picking up my class.)

Never Sausage An Unhealthy Thing Before

, , , , , , , | Friendly | September 4, 2018

One of my colleagues is a naturopath and health nut. She’s noticed that I have a certain fondness for hot chips/fries and often buy them for lunch, and she’s taken to telling me how unhealthy, fatty, salty, etc. they are, in a vain attempt to improve my diet.

One day, just for a change, I decide to buy a sausage roll for lunch. My colleague notices this and proceeds to lecture me on how much worse this is for me, because of how many carbs are in the pastry and how much fat is in the meat.

The next day I buy chips again. I show them to my colleague and tell her that I went with the healthier option.

The horrified and appalled look on her face was priceless, and was well worth the earful she gave me!

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