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Autocorrect Has Daddy Issues

, , , , , | Related | May 16, 2022

Years ago, when my gramps was sick with a cold, my nan messaged my mum regarding an upcoming visit.

Nan: “Gramps has a cold. Maybe we should reschedule. He will be better soon.”

My mum tried to reply:

Mum: “No problem. I hope he does.”

But autocorrect changed her message to:

Mum: “No problem. I hope he dies.”

Luckily, our family has a good sense of humour. It’s been an ongoing joke for years.

Their Argument Has No Leg To Stand On

, , , , , | Friendly | May 16, 2022

One day in Highschool a friend and I went to a fast-food burger place inside of a large department store. This friend had an issue with one of his knees, a lasting injury from a nasty fall he had taken last year. Due to the issue with his knee he needed to brace himself when sitting down, this included using the crossbars in most Handicap stalls in public bathrooms.

He and I both go to the bathroom; he takes the stall but I am just there to wash my hands when an elderly gentleman comes in in a wheelchair. He isn’t too pleased that the stall is occupied and keeps hammering on the door with his fist and swearing.

Me: “Hey! Knock it off, he’ll be out when he’s out.”

Man: “He shouldn’t be in there; this is a handicap stall!”

Me: “You don’t even know who is in there, how do you know they don’t have a disability?”

Man: “Tell him to get the f*** out!”

Me: “Wait your d*** turn!”

The door opens and my friend steps out.

Friend: “You’re very rude.”

Man: “SEE! YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN IN THERE! MOVE!”

He tries to ram himself through the door even though my friend is still in the way but he pushes him back with the stall door.

Friend: “The f*** is wrong with you!?”

Man: “Get the f*** OUT OF MY WAY!”

Friend: “Let me get out of the stall first!”

Man: “You shouldn’t be in there in the first place!”

Friend: “I NEED to use this stall, I have a knee injury!”

Me: “Not all disabilities are visible.”

Man: “Bull-s***!”

He attempts to ram my friend again but he pushes back once more.

Friend: “You f****** touch me again and we’re going to have a problem, buddy!”

Me: “Dude, just let him out of the stall”

Man: “Fine, but hurry up!”

My friend steps out of the stall and pulls up his pants leg, displaying the deep, pitted scarring on his knee, it looks like a centipede on his skin.

Friend: “You see this? Huh!? You see this!?”

Man: “…”

Friend: “Yeah! That’s what I thought! F*** you.”

He storms out of the bathroom and I follow him.

Me: “You alright?”

Friend: “I’m sick and tired of this. Why does everyone assume just because I am young I can’t have a lasting injury or disability? This is the fourth or fifth time I’ve had to deal with some angry jack-a** in a bathroom.”

Me: “I dunno man, just… look older I guess.?”

We shared a laugh and went to sit down.

He Didn’t Weigh His Comments Carefully

, , , , , | Right | May 16, 2022

I work in a bookstore. Usual day at work at first, some busy times, some slow. It’s during a slow time that a customer walks in, looks at me for an uncomfortably long time and comes over:

Customer: “You’re too fat, you should do something about that. I hate seeing fat people. Some of us actually take care of ourselves.”

I am fat, but it’s largely due to being physically disabled and on a load of meds that cause weight gain.

Me: “Did you want a book or just to say that to a complete stranger?”

Customer: “I did want a book, but I refuse to give money to fat slobs. It’s a bad company image for lazy people to be visible. Some of us work hard to be healthy.”

Me: “Okay, if you’re just here to insult me I’m going to ask you to leave”

Customer: “Not till you promise to take better care of your health. Come on, just a quick jog!”

Me: “Get. Out. Now”

Customer: “Oh, what you gonna do? Finally get off your chair and throw me out? Most movement you’ve ever done.”

Me: “No, gonna radio the security for the shopping centre.”

I pick up the radio and this guy flees immediately. I still called them and they promised to find him and ban him. Haven’t seen him since so guess it worked.

Please Don’t Be Connected Please Don’t Be Connected…

, , , , , , | Right | May 15, 2022

I work in customer service for a food company. Customers call us if they have questions about our products regarding things like ingredients, health, allergens, etc.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “How do you know when to take [pie] out of the microwave?”

Suddenly, I hear a loud “pop!” from the background.

Person In The Background: “MY LEGS!”

Caller: “Uh… I gotta go!” *Click*

I Would Nope My Way Right Out Of School

, , , , , | Learning | May 15, 2022

This happened when I was around ten or twelve years old, so in the late 1990s or early 2000s. In our old classroom, the tables had been changed around a few times, and this time they were placed so that there were three or four students placed around most tables.

The placing around the tables was changed every now and then, and this time around, I was placed with three other girls who were okay but not exactly my friends.

One day, the girl opposite me was feeling bad, and shortly after the class had started, she puked on the table. The teacher did, of course, stop the class and went to help her pack her stuff and move to a different place where she could wait for her parents. (For those curious: there was a nurse connected to the school, but being a semi-rural area, she was not always there. Teachers would then be the “nurse” for small issues.)

Before the teacher left, he called out to the class:

Teacher: “I’m going to help her get home. Could one of you clean up the puke?”

Yep. He asked if anyone of us kids could clean up the puke.

For some reason I have never really understood, I volunteered to do it. He just thanked me and went out with my classmate. And yes, I cleaned it up as best as I could. We had a sink in the classroom, so I had access to water and a cloth… but no soap.

Years later, I realised how wrong that was. Who would ask a kid to clean another kid’s puke up? And with no proper cleaning equipment?

In my teacher’s (semi) defense, we had a fairly useless janitor, and the cleaning people were only there after school time, so he could not have called for them. But still…