Very Loud Lies

, , , | Right | March 25, 2019

(A customer comes up to the customer service desk.)

Customer: “I need to make a complaint about that woman!” *points to colleague*

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. How can I help?”

Customer: “She was very abusive to me. She completely ignored me when I asked for help. Then she got right in my face, like this—“ *literally pushes her face into mine* “—and screamed that I was fat!”

Me: “Oh, my.”

Customer: “Yes, and I’ve fought anorexia for years! It’s very upsetting and I will need counselling that your company must pay for.”

Me: “I can certainly understand if she ignored you, but I sincerely doubt she shouted at you or called you fat.”

Customer: “Well, that is what she did! I demand retribution!”

(I call the colleague over with my pager and we have a conversation using sign language. The woman stares at us dumbfounded.)

Me: “My colleague says she has never seen you before.”

Customer: “But, you didn’t even speak to her. You just stood there making funny gestures!”

Me: *internally* “Really? You’ve never seen sign language?” *out loud* “She’s deaf, madam. She is incapable of speaking, which is why I know she didn’t call you fat.”

Customer: “Well… she… YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE DEAF PEOPLE WORKING WHEN I NEED HELP!”

Me: “It’s two am and we are night staff. It’s rare any customer bothers to speak to us.”

(The customer shakes her head as though I’m speaking in riddles. She starts to leave before running back to me.)

Customer: “IF SHE’S DEAF, HOW DID YOU CALL HER? I HEARD HER PAGER, YOU LYING COW!”

(She turns to my colleague and screams — just screams, no words — in her face. My colleague just backs away and gestures that her breath stinks.)

Me: “Pagers vibrate. Now, get out before I call the police!”

(The customer became very aggressive and started assaulting one of the theft detectors at the entrance. By the time police arrived, two of the burly stockroom attendants had subdued her outside. It was here we learned that she had an anti-social behaviour order against her, which meant she wasn’t allowed to be outside during nighttime hours. She was swiftly arrested.)

Change The Stall, And Their Attitudes

, , , , , , | Friendly | March 15, 2019

(I have a disability that is invisible quite a lot of the time but does mean that I need to use the accessible toilet when out in public. I’ve come directly from work to meet a friend for dinner and I’m still wearing my uniform. I walk through the back half of the dining room to use the restroom, passing a table of four women on the way, one of whom has a baby in her lap. This occurs a moment after I’ve sat down.)

Someone: *rattles door*

Me: “Occupied.”

Someone: *knock knock knock knock*

Me: “Yes, just one moment.”

(I complete my business and leave the stall to find nobody there. As I am finishing washing my hands, the lady holding the baby comes into the bathroom with a female manager. The female manager asks if I was just using the accessible stall and I confirm that I was. I suspect at this point I know where this was going — those of us with invisible disabilities face this nonsense regularly — but I really have no clue the turn it will take.)

Manager: “In the future, please leave that stall for those who need it. It also has the changing table, and this lady—” *points to the woman with the baby, who is silently but visibly seething* “—needed to change her baby.”

Me: “I needed it, actually.” *gives boring medical history*

Manager: *looking surprised* “Oh, I’m sorry. Of course—“

Woman:No!  Do not apologize to her! I needed to change my baby!

Manager: “Ma’am, she had a reason to use that stall. We—”

Woman: *sneering and turning red in the face* “THAT STALL IS FOR MOTHERS! SHE’S OBVIOUSLY NOT A MOTHER! LOOK! SHE WORKS!” *gestures toward my uniform*

(As someone who has always wanted children and can’t have them, that is enough for me, and I walk out while the manager is still trying to calm the woman down. I have to pass the table with the woman’s three friends, who stare at me as I am passing. Just as I get past the one sitting on the far side, she gets brave.)

Woman #2: “Yeah, she needed that changing table.”

Me: *completely done, stopping dead and walking back to a table of women who are now all tense and not so smug* “AND I NEEDED THE ACCESSIBLE STALL, SO MAYBE TELL THE RESTAURANT TO TAKE THE CHANGING TABLE OUT OF THE STALL AND PUT IT ON THE WALL ACROSS FROM THE SINKS!”

(I walked back to my table, where my friend jokingly asked if I’d fallen in, as I’d been gone so long and he had no idea what had happened. We paid our tab and left. Two months later, when I returned to the restaurant, the changing table had been moved out of the accessible stall.)

Hear Her Evil, See Her Evil, Speak Her Evil

, , , , | Right | November 19, 2013

(One of my coworkers has partial hearing loss in her right ear, and has a medical condition that has caused her to lose almost all of her peripheral vision in her right eye. On this day, she’s putting away a cartload of items and just happens to be working directly under a speaker. A customer approaches her from the right, and speaks very, very softly.)

Customer: *very softly* “Excuse me; where are your bedsheets?”

Coworker: *doesn’t hear her and keeps working*

Customer: “Excuse me? EXCUSE ME?!”

(Suddenly, the customer KICKS my coworker in the hip. The kick is so hard that my coworker has to catch herself so she doesn’t fall over.)

Customer: “How DARE you ignore me?!”

Coworker: “I’m terribly sorry, ma’am! I didn’t see you.”

Customer: “Bulls***! I was standing right here! Everyone has peripheral vision!”

Coworker: “Except for people with vision problems, ma’am. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Then you should’ve heard me!”

Coworker: “I also have partial hearing loss, and that…” *points up at the ceiling* “…is a speaker.”

Customer: “Well, you should be checking every direction for customers every five seconds!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, is there something I can help you with? I don’t actually work on the sales floor; I work in the stock room, and I have to get back…”

(My coworker ends up helping the customer and taking her to the bedsheets section. However, later I hear the customer complaining to my manager.)

Customer: “…and she just ignored me! And then she kicked me and called me a b****!”

Manager: “I’m so, so so sorry! I’ve never seen her act like that.”

Me: “…Sir?”

Manager: “Not now.”

Me: “But I witnessed the incident.”

Customer: *goes pale* “I didn’t see you anywhere nearby!”

Me: “I was ten feet away, in the clothing racks. Ma’am, YOU kicked HER when you thought she was ignoring you and yelled at her.”

Manager: *lightbulb goes on* “She was on [Coworker]’s right, wasn’t she?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Manager: *to the customer* “Well, ma’am, under these circumstances I can’t give you any discounts, nor will I. I’m not giving you anything for free, and I’m going to call corporate myself to tell them what happened. I’ve got video cameras and an employee witness. You assaulted one of my associates. Get out of my store!”

(The customer did try to call corporate. When they hung up on her, she called the cops, who reviewed the tape and nearly arrested her!)

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