Does Not Get Your Teal Of Approval

, , | Right | December 12, 2018

(I work in a store that sells home furnishings, and we have several different kinds of stools. Late one evening, a woman walks in, and I greet her as I’m straightening a display at the front.)

Customer: “You’re holding a stool for me.”

(While we do have a designated area for hold items, if the item is larger, we’ll leave it on the floor due to limited space in the stockroom, and to prevent employees from having to carry big or heavy pieces back and forth in case the customer doesn’t show after the hold expires.)

Me: “Sure! What’s the name?”

Customer: “It’s either under [Customer] or [Other Name].”

Me: “All right, let me check for you.”

(Sometimes if we have an item of furniture in the stockroom in a box, we can hold the box for them. I go back to check the stockroom in the event that this is the case, but I see nothing, so I walk around the floor checking the stool displays for a hold tag. I still find nothing, so I return to the customer.)

Me: “Ma’am, I seem to be having trouble finding it; could you describe it to me?”

Customer: “It’s teal.”

Me: “Let me look again.”

(I check the few stools we have matching her description. Still nothing. The customer tells me she called us ten minutes before close the night before to have us hold the stool for her, so I wonder if perhaps the closers didn’t have the time or forgot to make the hold tag.)

Customer: “Have you found it yet?”

Me: “No, it seems like there was a bit of a mix-up. Could you tell me anything else about it? How tall is it? Is it made of wood or metal?”

Customer: “I don’t remember. It’s teal!”

(I check one more time, but there’s no teal stool on hold. The customer is getting annoyed and complaining about how we need a holding area.)

Me: “Was it tall or short? We have this bar stool up here, or these counter stools?”

Customer: “No, it was shorter than that. It was a small stool for a vanity or something.”

(Thinking perhaps she was looking for one of our ottomans to use as a footstool, I go to look, but find nothing. Eventually, I notice a small silver and white footstool with a hold tag in the customer’s name.)

Me: “Ma’am, is this it?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s it!”

(She purchases the stool and walks out, satisfied. My manager, who was helping another customer, watches her leave.)

Manager: “So… that wasn’t even remotely teal.”

Me: “I have no idea anymore.”

How to Handle A Dog-Hairy Situation

, , , , , , | Right | December 11, 2018

(I am a regular at a local sewing store where I’m also taking classes. One day I drop by to get fabric and decided to bring my dog, since my mum and I have to go there by car, anyway, and my dog is still kind of anxious about driving after a recent bad experience. When I bring her into the shop, this happens.)

Owner: “Oh, I’m sorry; you can’t bring your dog in here. My husband is really allergic to them.”

Me: “Sorry, I didn’t know that.”

Mum: “I’ll just take her out and wait in the car with her.”

Owner: “I’m really sorry. It’s not that I don’t like dogs. I love dogs, and yours looks really cute, but my husband swells up and can’t breathe when he’s near dog hair, and…”

Me: “Really, it’s no problem. She can use the time in the car, anyway.”

(We go on to discuss fabric choices for my project, and she helps me personally, since only one other customer is in the store who is already being helped by one of the employees. When we move closer to them to look at some belt straps, the owner notices that in a bag on the floor is a tiny dog, even smaller than mine.)

Owner: “Excuse me. I didn’t notice it before, but dogs are not allowed in this store. Please leave your dog outside.”

Customer: *in a tone so rude I can’t possibly portray it in writing* “It’s none of your business. He’s in a bag.” *turns back around to the employee*

Owner: “My husband is extremely allergic to dogs, so I have to ask you, again, to please take your dog outside, as I can’t have him in the store.”

Customer: “And where am I supposed to put him? My car? He’d just destroy it. No. I’m keeping him with me, in here.”

(The dog in question is a chihuahua in a closed bag, on a leash that ties him to said bag. He couldn’t possibly get out of there.)

Owner: “I frankly don’t care where you put your dog, as long as he’s not in my store. Please get him out of here now.”

Customer: “No. I won’t. And if you make me, you’ll lose me as a customer.”

Owner: “I don’t want you as a customer if you don’t take your dog outside right now!”

Customer: “I won’t.”

(With that, she turns back to the employee, who obviously doesn’t know how to deal with that and is extremely uncomfortable, but resumes helping the entitled woman with choosing some buttons. The owner is obviously furious but doesn’t know what else to do. I’m furious, too; the tone and general attitude of the customer are so rude, and to such a nice person, that I basically feel ashamed to belong to the same species as that person. After taking a deep breath and contemplating, I decide to step in.)

Me: *in a calm but incredibly icy tone, with my best menacing stare* “Excuse me.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “I just took my dog outside to wait in the car, too. You have been asked repeatedly to remove your dog from this store. It is not okay to endanger the health of a human being just so your dog won’t have to spend ten minutes alone in a car. Do you really believe that the fifteen Euros you’re spending here are more important to [Owner] than her husband’s health? Pull yourself together, get rid of that attitude, and get your dog outside right now.”

Customer: “FINE! I will buy my buttons here, and then I will never come back! You’ve just lost a customer for life!”

Me: “Thank God. I wouldn’t like to encounter the likes of you in here ever again.”

Fighting For “Equals” Rights

, , , | Right | December 11, 2018

(I am cutting fabric at the fabric counter, and I call for the next number to be served. A woman approaches with a bolt of faux fur, which is currently 40% off.)

Customer: “I would like one yard, please.”

(I scan the label on the bolt. Note: the original, non-sale price listed on the bolt is $14.99. We always let the customers know what the price is and if it’s on sale before we cut, in case they were planning on using coupons, etc.)

Me: *with my usual chipperness* “Okay, it’s $8.99 a yard, and it is on sale today!”

Customer: *suddenly scowling* “No, that’s not right. I thought you said it was on sale?”

Me: “Yes. It’s $8.99 on sale, normally $14.99.”

Customer: “It’s supposed to be 40% off!”

Me: “It is—”

(Before I can finish, she storms away, mumbling about finding the section to check the sale sign. She walks to the fur aisle, with the 40% off signs posted, and marches back, looking even more perturbed. At this point, I’m thinking perhaps she’s confused about what the original price was.)

Me: “Ma’am, $8.99 is the sale price at 40% off; it’s originally $14.99.”

Customer: *looking at me like I’ve just told her the earth is flat* “No, that’s not right! That’s too much!”

(She pulls out her phone to piddle on her calculator while I pull up the calculator on my hand-held and re-calculate it multiple times, coming up with the same figure. When I show her, she still doesn’t believe me, and smugly shows me her phone calculator.)

Customer: “See?! It should only be $5.97! You’re wrong!”

Me: “That’s not 60% of $14.99. Fifty percent of $14.99 is $7.50 if you think about it, so it would have to be more than that.”

(She starts punching numbers into her phone again. I’m biting back frustration and looking for a pen and a piece of paper to go full-on School House Rock on this lady and draw a diagram or something. Suddenly she stops and her face falls flat as she looks at her phone.)

Customer: “Oh. I see. I had, uh, just forgotten to hit the ‘equal’ button. Whatever.”

(I went on to cut her fabric without mentioning another word about it, and resisted the urge to bang my head on the fabric counter.)

Easiest… Turnaround… Ever

, , , | Right | December 11, 2018

(I work in the retentions team of a UK television provider. I specifically deal with customers that have changed their mind prior to installing.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Supplier]. My name is [My Name]; how can I help?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. I think I want to cancel.”

Me: “Okay, that’s no problem. Why are you looking at cancelling? What’s changed your mind?”

Customer: “Hmm… Err, oh, I really don’t know. Hmm… I just don’t know; I don’t know what to do.”

(Usually, customers know why they want to cancel, so it’s fairly easy to handle, but this customer really is just humming and uh-ing to himself. I take a chance.)

Me: “Okay, have you thought about not cancelling?”

Customer: “Yeah, okay, that sounds good.”

Me: “Great! Hope you enjoy your services when they are installed!”

Customer: “Thanks. It’s nice you lot are all so reasonable and understanding.”

Me: “My pleasure. Have a good day.”

This Money Holds No Quarter With Me

, , , , , | Right | December 11, 2018

Me: “Your total is $10.15.”

Customer: *hands me $9.40*

Me: “I’m sorry; you’re a bit short. I need $10.15.”

Customer: “I gave you $9, a quarter, and 15 cents.”

Me: “Yes, a quarter and 15 cents equals 40 cents.”

Customer: “No, it says, ‘quarter dollar.’ It’s worth a dollar.”

Me: “No, ma’am. It’s a quarter of a dollar, meaning ¢25.”

Customer: “Well, my friend told me it’s worth a dollar.”

(I still don’t know how a middle-aged American had never used a quarter before.)

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