She Has No Endgame

, , , , | Right | April 15, 2021

I have just turned eighteen and have gotten cashier trained at my first job. I had not yet learned not to laugh at the customers.

Customer: “Two days ago, the yarn was .99 cents apiece.”

Me: “Yes, they were.”

Customer: “But now they’re $2.99 apiece.”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “They were on sale last week. It’s a new week now so the sale ended and they went back to the original price.”

Customer: “Why did it do that?”

I almost start giggling, but then the customer starts glaring at me. I realize the customer is not kidding.

Me: “Um… because that’s what sales do? They… end.”

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Too Mulch Math

, , , | Right | April 13, 2021

I work at a home and garden center. We have a sale on mulch: five bags for $10. I wish I could say this happens only once but it actually happened several times a day:

Customer: “How much is black [Brand] mulch?”

Me: “It’s $2 a bag.”

Customer: “Oh, so it’s [Competitor] that’s running the five-for-$10 sale?”

Me: *Sighing* “Yes, sir. Us, too.”

Every single day.

I tried saying, “Five for $10,” but then I had to explain they didn’t have to buy five to get the sale price. I hated those sales.

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Long Story Short, The Answer Is No

, , , , | Working | April 9, 2021

Many years ago while I was driving my vintage extended-cab pickup, I noticed a newer extended cab on a dealer’s used truck lot. I pulled in, got out, walked to the truck, and checked its bed length. It was the shorter bed of that era — six and a half feet instead of the long eight-foot bed.

A salesman arrived and asked my thoughts on the truck.

Me: “Not interested. It has the short six-and-a-half-foot bed; I want an extended cab with the long bed.”

Salesman: “Oh, no! You wouldn’t want a truck that long. They are difficult to drive on city streets and in city traffic.”

Me: “Gee, I had never heard that. Are you sure?”

I know that many even longer trucks are being driven in the city daily.

Salesman: “Oh, yes! They are a real problem driving in cities.”

Me: “I’m not sure about that.”

After a few more exchanges of the same basic views, I decide it is time to give my closing declaration.  

Me: “I have been driving my truck with the extended cab and the long, eight-foot bed for thirteen years. When do you think I might finally notice this problem?”

He walked away with a deer in the headlights look on his face.

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Used Car Salesman Cliches Exist For A Reason

, , , , , | Working | March 16, 2021

I’m shopping for a different car. I don’t have much money and I do a lot of miles. It’s not easy, but I find a car that is known for reliability even at higher miles. I focus on finding examples for this type of car and go around the showrooms.

I find a local place that has one for a good price, but immediately, I notice odd things.

Me: “The clutch is very heavy.”

Salesman: “Yeah, that’s normal.”

Me: “I noticed that there were a lot of panel gaps on the outside.”

Salesman: “Yeah, these cars are built well, but they are used, after all, and can move.”

Me: “And it’s fully serviced before sale.”

Salesman: “Yeah, this one has just had a service in-house, no issues or concerns. So shall we talk finance?”

I smiled and walked away, I could tell he was lying through his teeth. No clutch should be so hard to push that it is difficult to drive and no car that new magically has panel gaps without already being in an accident.

I feel bad for anyone who just doesn’t know cars, that these guys are allowed to openly lie. I ended up giving them a scathing review; without evidence, it’s the best I can do.

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Show (Me The Way To Go) Home

, , , , , | Working | March 3, 2021

My wife and I are thinking of moving home. We spot a new build area in a good location, so we arrange a viewing of the show home. We get the tour. The size is great, and the layout and garden are, too, but the kitchen and bathrooms are decorated in a really dark and unpleasant colour.

Normally, if you buy new, you can choose all of this as it isn’t fitted yet. But the sales rep starts to push the show home.

Sales Rep: “You know, this plot is available. As you can see, it is ready to move in.”

Me: “Not really for us, thanks.”

Sales Rep: “Are you sure? It would be a few months until the others are ready, plus you would have to go through the whole long process of picking out tiles.”

Wife: “Actually, we quite like that bit.”

Me: “Could we have a moment to look around again?”

Sales Rep: “Sure. I will head back to the office.”

We chat and look around, and we both agree we like the house but hate the kitchen and bathrooms. We would be happier to wait and get something that works for us. We head back to the sales rep.

Sales Rep: “Hi, you two. Good news! I spoke to my manager and he has cleared a discount on the show home. It’s [a few hundred off]. What do you think? Shall I put your names down for a deposit?”

Me: “We have talked and would like to wait for the new builds.”

Sales Rep: “Are you sure? We get a lot of interest in that show home. You don’t want to miss out.”

Wife: “We are sure.”

Sales Rep: “Well, okay, then. I will add you to the contact list when they become available.”

We ended up buying one of the new homes when they became available, but not before being contacted three more times about that show home. It dropped very little in value and was one of the last properties to sell on the lot.

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