A Knee-Jerk Reaction To The Dress

, , , , | | Right | July 22, 2019

(Two women come into my shop looking for dresses. I help [Customer #1] find one, and while she tries it on, I help [Customer #2] look for a dress for herself. [Customer #1] comes out of the dressing room to get our opinion on the dress, and although the dress fits well, the hem is up past her knees, and it is not flattering. I am always honest with my customers, preferring they look their best rather than just making a sale, so I suggest she tries something longer.)

Me: “The hemline on that one is not very flattering; let’s try a longer style.”

Customer #1: “You don’t like the dress?”

Customer #2: “The dress looks great, but your knees are ugly!

When The Pink Runs Dry…

, , , , | | Right | July 22, 2019

(I am buying color-mix paint, where you choose a color from a card and then colorant is added to white paint to make the shade you have chosen. I have chosen a brick red color, and it is currently in the machine being mixed.)

Employee: “So, this paint gets returned a lot as it looks pink when you first apply it. You need to do two or three coats and let it dry, and it will end up the same color as the test card.”

Me: “Okay, that’s fine, as long as it ends up red.”

(The employee takes the paint out of the mixer and pops the top so I can see the color. It is bright pink.)

Me: “Wow, that really is pink! It does end up red, though, yes?”

Employee: “Yes, it really does. It even looks pink on the wall, but I promise when it dries it will be red. We keep getting customers returning this color and we have to tell them to go home and check it again when it’s dry. None of them have ever come back a second time.”

Me: “Okay, that’s fine, thanks.”

(I take my paint and go to leave, but as I do, a second employee comes into the paint mix area and happens to glance at the color I have chosen.)

Employee #2: “Oh! Did you know that this paint will look pink, but will end up red when it’s dry?”

Me: “I take it this happens a lot…”

Entitled To The Laws Of Thermodynamics

, , , , | | Right | July 22, 2019

(A customer who came through the drive-thru has returned with his bag of food, and is an obvious complainer the second he walks in the door.)

Me: “Hello, can I help you with something?”

Customer: “Yes, I came through the drive-thru about twenty minutes ago. I took my food all the way home, and it’s barely warm!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but if you don’t mind me asking, how far is it to your house from here?”

Customer: “It’s about a ten-minute drive, so I’ve had to drive twenty minutes! I think I should get some free food.”

Me: “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but in ten minutes, the food loses a lot of its heat. I can give you new food, but unless you eat it here, it’s still going to be quite cold by the time you get home.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to eat it here! I want to eat it at home.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the food won’t stay hot if you have to take it that far. I’m happy to replace your current food, though, because that won’t be any good anymore.”

Customer: “Fine… but give me a free ice cream cone.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “For all the inconvenience. Jeez.”

(He ended up calling the store again later that night, whining about it being cold. The managers gave him the reason, but he simply wouldn’t accept it.)

Free Food Cost Him The Day

, , , , | | Right | July 22, 2019

Cashier: “Welcome to [Fast Food Place]. Can I take your order?”

Guy: “Is the general manager there?”

Cashier: “Not at this moment. Do you need him for something?”

Guy: “Yes, I had a bad order last time and some worker said the next order would be free.”

Cashier: “Can I see the receipt?”

Guy: *looks to find his receipt, but doesn’t have it* “I lost it.”

Cashier: “Well, the general manager will be coming in soon.”

Guy: “Just give me some free food.”

(This happens for two hours. The general manager still doesn’t show up.)

Guy: “Where’s my free food?”

Cashier: “I don’t know what’s taking the general manager so long.”

(Another hour passes before the general manager finally shows up.)

General Manager: “So, what’s the problem here?”

Guy: “I had a bad order last time, and the worker said I’d get free food the next time.”

General Manager: “Where’s your receipt?”

Guy: “I don’t have it.”

General Manager: “Then no free food.”

(This argument went on and on. Finally, the man got his free food after hours. And guess what? He still found his meal bad!)

Customers’ Visual Acuity Is Based On Movement…

, , , , , | | Right | July 22, 2019

(I am working in the drive-thru booth late one night when a seemingly normal customer drives up to the speaker.)

Me: “Welcome to [Store]. How can I help you tonight?”

Customer: “Can I have a minute?”

Me: “Sure, just let me know when you’re ready!”

Customer: *about ten minutes later* “Ma’am, are you still there?”

Me: *cheerily* “Yes, I’m here!”

(Suddenly, the customer transforms into an obnoxious drunk customer of doom.)

Customer: “WHERE?”

Me: *confused* “Um, right here, at [Store], ready to take your order!”

Customer: “No, no, I’m at [Store]. You’re not here. Where are you?!”

Me: “I’m… I’m inside the store, sir.”


Me: “…”

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