Should Have Chainsaw That Coming

, , , , | Right | September 20, 2018

(I am wearing black slacks, high heels, and a grey polo with a logo from the car dealership I work for. The staff in the hardware store wear jeans and bright orange aprons. I am in the garden section, and I ask an employee if they have any succulents left because it’s late in the season. She goes off to check, and about two minutes later an older man stops about fifteen feet away and raises his voice so I can hear him.)

Customer: “Hey! Hey, you! Where are the hose nozzles?”

Me: “Um, I don’t work here.”

Customer: “You don’t?!”

Me: “Nope!” *points to logo on my shirt* “I work for [Dealership].

Customer: “So, you don’t know where the hose nozzles are.”

(I raise an eyebrow and shake my head, and he walks away a little pissed off. Soon the actual store employee returns and points me in the right direction; she even opens their brand new shipment so I can get fresh ones! As I am picking through the succulents and putting them in my cart, ANOTHER customer walks over to me. I am currently bending over to get a closer look at some plants on the lower rows, and this middle-aged man bends over next to me.)

Customer: “I have a chainsaw, and I need some new chains, but I need a very specific—”

Me: “I don’t mean to be rude and cut you off, sir, but I don’t work here.”

(The customer leans back and looks at me like I’m crazy.)

Customer: “You don’t work here? Are you sure?”

Me: *points to logo on shirt* “Yeah, pretty sure I don’t.”

Customer: “Can you show me, anyway?”

Me: “I honestly wouldn’t know the first place to look, and quite frankly, I’m not going over to the chainsaws with a man I don’t know.” *laughs*

(The guy suddenly gets angry. I think he is getting angry over my joke, but it turns out he is pissed I don’t know where the chainsaw chains are.)

Customer: “Well, thanks for absolutely nothing. Thank God I own a [Different Model than the one I work for].”

(He turns and literally stomps away. I yell after him.)

Me: “Maybe you should try looking for someone actually wearing a orange apron? They’re super helpful!”

(He flipped me off as he turned the corner. Thank goodness he doesn’t own a [Company Model]!)

There Is No Complaints Vacuum

, , , | Right | September 20, 2018

(I work in a specialty grocery store that specializes in bulk food. We have product in bulk food bins that most grocery stores use, but they line every aisle of our store. We have one aisle that has spice bins against a wall, making three long rows against the entire wall. Due to the nature of the product, we are required to vacuum the bins every night due to the mess that is usually made. This is one of those nights where I am vacuuming and a customer is buying spices. The vacuum is on and it is quite loud. The customer comes up and says something I can’t make out due to the noise from the vacuum.)

Me: *turns vacuum off* “Pardon?”

Customer: “Someone made a mess!”

(As she says this, she points to the thyme bin, which has the spice all on top of the lid and on the floor. I already knew about this, as it is right next to me and the mess is quite big. Her tone of voice implied she didn’t think I knew.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, that’s why I’m vacuuming.”

Customer: “Oh.”

Don’t Drive And Drugs

, , , | Right | September 20, 2018

(I work as a receptionist at a car dealership.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Dealership]! How can I direct your call?”

Customer: “I just want to refill my prescription.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Can you repeat that? I think I might have misheard what you said.”

Customer: “What did you say?”

Me: “Can you please repeat what you said at the beginning of the call? I think I might have misheard you.”

Customer: “Do you need my prescription number?”

Me: “Ma’am, this is a car dealership.”

Customer: “What?! Do you need my prescription number?”

Me: “No, ma’am, this is a car dealership. You may have dialed the wrong number.”

Customer: “You know what? I’ll just call back later.”

(She hung up before I could explain to her this was not a pharmacy. I just hope she was able to get her prescription!)

Man, What A Wait!

, , , , , | Right | September 19, 2018

(I work in a service department for an extremely busy dealership, and I am the ONLY woman in the entire department. We have a business office staff of ladies that filter all calls for the dealer. I get at least one call a week similar to this, but this conversation was particularly rude and has stuck with me.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Dealership] service department.”

Customer: “Are you f****** kidding me?! I just talked to you! I told you to transfer me to service!”

Me: “I think you spoke with one of the young ladies in our business office. I definitely haven’t spoken to you until just now.”

Customer: “But I asked for service and she transferred me to you!”

Me: “Seeing as how I work in service, I believe she transferred you to the right place!”

(I’m keeping my voice friendly because calls like this happen all the time. However, what this customer says next is one for the books.)

Customer:You… work in service?”

Me: *extra friendly* “Yep!”

(The man on the phone actually starts laughing.)

Customer: “Yeah, okay, sweetheart. Transfer me to one of the service men.”

(Oh, no, he didn’t.)

Me: “About that… They are actually all currently on the phone helping other customers, and it might be a while. Is there anything I can do for you?”

Customer: “I highly doubt that, babe. I’ll wait.”

(Truth be told, there is no wait to speak to a service advisor. I let the guy stay on hold for about ten minutes before I pick it up again. I am careful to keep my voice polite and bubbly, because I am actually pretty pissed off about the way this customer has been addressing me.)

Me: “Still waiting to speak with a service man, correct? I do apologize about the wait; they’re taking longer than expected. Are you sure there isn’t anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “I already told you that I want to speak with a man. How much longer?”

Me: “Shouldn’t be too much longer; I’ll transfer you as soon as the next advisor becomes available.”

(I put the customer on hold for another eight minutes before I pick up the phone again.)

Me: “I am so sorry, sir. I still don’t have a service man available. Would you like me to take a message and have someone call you back?”

Customer: “This is bulls***! All I want to do is make an appointment for an oil change!”

Me: “Oh, my, you should have said something sooner, sir. Our service department doesn’t make appointments for oil changes.”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “I’m sorry if the line is breaking up, sir. I said, ‘We don’t make appointments for oil changes.’ They’re walk-in only.”

Customer: “I WAITED OVER HALF AN HOUR TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT, AND YOU’RE TELLING ME I CAN’T MAKE ONE?!”

Me: “That is correct.”

Customer: “WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SOMETHING EARLIER?!”

Me: “If I recall correctly, sir, you specifically said you only wanted to speak with a man, and I did ask if there was anything I could help you with.”

Customer: “I’ll be at your dealership in fifteen minutes, AND I DON’T WANT TO F****** WAIT!”

(The customer hung up, and I went up front and told the service advisors what happened. They put a note in the computer, and they made the customer wait three hours for an oil change. Sexism doesn’t fly in our department.)

 

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Bad Customers Emerging

, , , , , | Right | September 19, 2018

(I work in a well-known office supply store. Recently, we were supposed to have a big merger happen between us and our competitor, but it got shut down. All the workers knew it, but the customers didn’t exactly get the memo. At least, so I thought. A woman and her son walk up to the register with their items.)

Me: “Hi! How ya doin’? Get everything you need?”

Customer: “Yes, I did. If you don’t mind, I’d like to use these coupons.”

Me: “Sure! That shouldn’t be a problem!”

(I look down at the coupons and see that they’re from our competitors, the ones where the merger got rejected.)

Me: “Ma’am, you do realize that this is [Company], not [Competitor]?”

Customer: “Whatever happened to that merger?”

Me: “It got rejected.”

Customer: “That’s not the way I heard it; I read on the Internet it was a success! Now, if you don’t mind, I’d really appreciate it if you’d use the coupons. I’m too tight on money to pay full price.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t use these coupons here. If you have a lower price to show me on, let’s say, your smartphone, then I’ll be happy to price match it.”

Customer: “I don’t have time for that; just use the coupons!”

Me: “Ma’am, as I said before, I cannot use these. The merger didn’t happen, and we are both still separate companies.”

Customer: “Haven’t you ever heard of ‘good customer service’?”

Me: “Yes, I have, and I’ve also heard about the art of ripping companies off. I’ll say it one last time: you can pay full price for the items, or leave now and use those coupons at [Competitor], since you’re so set on using them.”

(The customer reluctantly paid full price for the items and left the store with her son. The last thing I heard her say to him while walking out was something about not coming back to an establishment that gave her “poor service” as I did. All I have to say is, policy is policy. Take it or leave it.)

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