That Is Not Our Foreign Policy

, , , | Right | August 11, 2020

A customer calls in wanting to discuss his cable bill.

Customer: “So, next month I will have ten years of history with you guys?”

Me: “Yes! Ten years on May eleventh.”

Customer: “Okay. I am going to need ten years of credits for all the foreign-language channels you’ve been sending me for a decade.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but our channel bundles don’t work that way. Only premium channels are a la carte. The rest are in bundles so we can’t credit for what you are asking.”

Customer: “Okay. I’ll speak to an attorney.” *Hangs up*

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Caught With Their Pants Down, Part 4

, , , , | Right | August 11, 2020

I am greeting customers at the front entrance and notice a customer walk in. I immediately flash a smile and start with the, “Good morning and welcome to—”

This adult man has his hand down the front of his pants. 

It is absolutely the most agonising three seconds of eye contact ever.

He whips his hand out of his pants, hangs his head, and, as he walks past me, mutters, “Sorry, lady.”

Related:
Caught With Their Pants Down, Part 3
Caught With Their Pants Down, Part 2
Caught With Their Pants Down

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Pump The Brakes On That Sale

, , , , , , | Right | August 11, 2020

I am on my way to return a rental car to the airport before catching a flight. Due to traffic, I am later than expected and in a hurry to fill up the car at a petrol station right next to the airport. My total comes to £11.56 and I head inside to pay. I can see that the guy being served before me has the same total and I chuckle to myself. When it’s my turn:

Me: “Pump four, please.”

Cashier: “Eh, are you sure? That guy just paid for pump four.”

Me: “What? But my car is at pump four; my total is £11.56.”

I show him the key tag, which states the number plate and he compares it to the car at pump four, which we can see through the window. Then, he quickly gets the manager to chase after the other guy, who has filled up around the corner, at a completely different pump.

Cashier: “I can see you’re in a hurry. If you want, you can pay his total of £11.35 and be on your way.”

I thanked the cashier and paid, thinking to myself that the mix-up probably happened due to the similar totals. As I left, the other guy came in with the manager. When he heard that he actually paid a few pence more than he should have, he started ranting and shouting. Not having time for this drama, I drove away as quickly as I could. Sorry, petrol station employees, but I really had to catch that plane!

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Parked On That Decision, Part 2

, , , | Right | August 11, 2020

The hotel I work at is brand-new, the entire building having been built from the ground up. The parking isn’t great in this location; the only legal places are the hotel’s own underground parking garage or a public parking lot across the street. Both cost money to use. There is a “space” in front of the hotel where people like to park their cars, but that is intended for firetrucks in case of emergency. It’s not a parking space.

It’s evening and a man comes up to me.

Guest: “I checked in at noon. I parked my car out front, and your colleague told me I could stay parked there. And now I have this.”

He shows me a parking ticket.

Me: “There is no parking allowed out front. You can park in our underground garage for 18€ a night, or pay for using the parking lot across the street. Our front is only supposed to be used for dropping off luggage, at best.”

Guest: “Your colleague told me I could park there.”

Me: “Then my colleague likely made a mistake. As I said, your options now are to park in our garage or the parking lot.”

He calculates the price for the garage use and the ticket.

Guest: “So, if I were to park in your garage for tonight, I would have to pay 38€?”

Me: “Yes, that would be the case.”

His voice is loud enough that my other colleague, who is also the assistant manager, can hear him to the other end of the reception area, which is quite wide. This guy is also beginning to annoy me because he’s complaining about having parked in an area that is labeled via colored markings on the pavement to be the fire lane. I am giving him the full Rhett Butler treatment.

Me: “I have given you your options. If you do not want to use our garage, I frankly do not care. And if you choose to not pay the ticket, I also don’t care about that because it’s none of my business.”

Guest: “And your name is?”

He peers at my nametag.

Me: “[My Last Name].”

I hold the nametag out to make the name easier to see.

Guest: “And you won’t mind if I tell your boss that you said you don’t care about this?”

Me: “Yes.”

Guest: “You know, I’ve been giving you an offer.”

Me: “What kind of offer?”

Guest: “When I pointed out that I would have to pay 38€ for parking tonight. You could have admitted this was a mistake on your hotel’s part and let me park in the garage for free tonight.”

Me: “Frankly, that did not sound like an offer to me. And another factor is that I am not sure I’d even have the authorization to allow that.”

Guest: “That didn’t sound like an offer to you?”

Me: “It did not. But if you do use the garage, please inform someone at reception so that we can make a note in your reservation about it.”

Guest: “Well, fine. But this matter isn’t over for me yet.”

He left the hotel, presumably to park his car somewhere. I talked with the assistant manager right away, since she heard everything. She agreed with my stance and also pointed out that there was absolutely no allowance of parking in our garage for free. There aren’t any underground parking areas in this city that don’t require payment to use.

Related:
Parked On That Decision

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Working Retail These Days Is A Lottery

, , , | Right | August 11, 2020

Customer: “If I buy something here that turns out to be broken, I can exchange it for one that works, right?”

Me: “Absolutely!”

Customer: “Well, I bought a lottery ticket yesterday, and it certainly didn’t work the way I thought it would.”

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