For Some Customers It’s Either All Or Nothing

, , , , , | Right | December 29, 2018

(We have two types of coupons in our store, a certain number of dollars off and percent off. No matter how you do it, dollars-off coupons will always come off before percent off coupons. It scans this way no matter what order you put them in and it says on every coupon. A woman comes up to my customer service desk.)

Customer: “Excuse me, why didn’t I get 30% off my total?”

Me: “Well, your total was $0. You had a dollars-off coupon that came off first and so you didn’t owe anything.”

Customer: “But I wanted to use my 30%.”

Me: “Well, the system won’t let you. 30% off zero is still zero.”

Customer: “No, re-ring the order and don’t use the dollars-off coupon so I can use my thirty percent.”

(I do this even though it makes no sense since she is literally now paying money instead of owing nothing.)

Me: “Okay, your total today is $15.00.”

Customer: “Much better.”

(Still not sure how spending $15 is better than spending nothing.)

Petulant About The Pet

, , , , , | Friendly | December 27, 2018

(I am waiting for the groomers at a local pet store to get my dog’s nails done. At the store when a pet pees or poops while on the floor, it is stated that it is the owner’s responsibility to clean up after the dog. While I’m waiting, a woman approaches.)

Woman: “Excuse me, but your dog is so cute! Can I pet her?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but no. She tends to get overexcited when meeting new people, and then she might pee, and I don’t want to clean up after her right now.”

Woman: “Oh, nonsense; that’s what the employees are for.”

(Before I could say anything else, she pet my dog, causing her to pee. The woman then left and I had to clean up after her. I had to leave to go to the cleanup station, and while doing that, a line formed — previously no one else had been there — causing me to lose my spot as next in line. Thanks, lady.)

The Gift Receipt That Keeps On Giving

, , , , | Right | December 26, 2018

(At our store, the policy is that when you do a return without a receipt, it gives you the lowest two-week sale price, because often everything’s on sale, and we almost always have some sort of coupon. It’s after Christmas when our returns are constant.)

Customer: “I’d like to return this toy, please.”

Me: “Sure thing. Was anything wrong with it?”

Customer: “No, he just didn’t need any more toys.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Did they give you a receipt?”

Customer: “No, but I’d still like to return it.”

Me: “Without a receipt, you would get back $37 on a merchandise credit.”

Customer: “No. My husband was just in here the other day, and it was full price for $45.”

Me: “Without a receipt, it would be the two-week lowest sale price. If this was bought for Christmas, most likely the person bought it on sale; plus, we had a coupon at that time, and most of our toys are usually about 50% off, so you are getting back a fair amount.”

Customer: “How do I know that they didn’t use a coupon or pay full price?”

Me: “You would have to ask them for the gift receipt or their actual receipt to get what they paid.”

Customer: “But that’s so tacky and rude. I’ll take the credit, but I’m not happy about it. I know you’re cheating me, and I’m contacting corporate.”

(Chances are, she wasn’t even going to get her kid anything with the credit, anyway, and would have bought stuff for herself. And what’s more tacky and rude is harassing an employee who has no control over the store policies.)

Outlininder

, , , , , | Romantic | December 24, 2018

(A commercial for Outlander comes on while my husband is watching football. Having enjoyed the story and historical fiction in general, I get distracted and, consequently, stop what I am saying mid-sentence.)

Husband: “I guess I need to get a shirt like that?”

Their Understanding Is Limper Than The Grab Machine’s Grip

, , , , , | Right | December 1, 2018

(I am working at the box office of a local movie theater for the summer. We have several games — animal cranes, car racing, stacker, etc. — set up in the lobby.)

Customer: “Hi. The crane game ate my quarters; can I have my money back?”

(Thinking it is just a normal malfunction, I say, “Sure, here you go,” and write up a slip. I sit there reading a book until the lady comes back, this time with a child in tow.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I tried it again and it did the same thing. The machine is broken.”

Me: “Okay, here’s another refund; maybe try one of our other machines.”

(The customer comes back not even five minutes later, very frustrated and at this point basically dragging the poor kid behind her.)

Customer: “That machine is broken, too!”

Me: *suddenly getting suspicious, asks a question before giving her the third refund* “What exactly is the machine doing that you’d consider it broken?”

Customer: “Every time my kid pushes the button, the crane goes down, but the prongs aren’t strong enough to grip anything!”

Me: *completely dumbfounded at this point* “The machines aren’t broken; they’re designed that way so that it becomes quite hard or impossible to win. Every single one is like that.”

Customer: “So, you’re telling me that game is rigged?!

Me: “Um… yeah?”

(She just looked at me for a second, then stormed off muttering about how she’d never play one of “those stupid games” ever again and how we should be fined for knowingly putting a rigged game in our lobby.)

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