Helen Keller Trying To Get To School  

, , , , , , | Right | September 2, 2019

This happened some thirty years ago. I was working for a TV station. In winter, when bad weather caused school closings, they would show the closings at the bottom of the screen. In bad weather, this could take 30 minutes or more to cycle through. We would invariably get people who did not want to watch and would call in to get the information. We had to refuse, as there were just too many people out there and the stations wanted people to watch. One call stuck out.

When told they would have to watch, they told me they were blind, so I had to tell them. I happily explained that we were also announcing the closings on our sister radio stations. They said that would not work as they were deaf also; remember, this is over the phone. 

I gave them the information in sign language.

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Unfiltered Story #161884

, , , | Unfiltered | September 1, 2019

My library, like most public libraries, has public computers for patrons. So of course, computer skills vary.

One day, a patron calls me over for assistance.

Patron: “How do I send an email?”

Me: “Well, you’ll need to setup an email account, with Yahoo, Gmail, or Hotmail…”

Patron: “Oh, I have one. I’m already signed in.”

Me: “Oh…okay. Uh, just click on the email button and compose your email then.”

Patron: “I didn’t know I could do that!!”

I’m still not sure what she was using her account for then. Still, it doesn’t beat my favorite patron question. If you click on the internet explorer icon, it opens to our homepage automatically. Apparently, this is too much to handle, as the question is often asked:

“How do I get on the internet from here?”

“Sir/ma’am, you already are on the internet…”

Prayer: Now Comes With A Self-Checkout Option!

, , , , , , | Right | August 30, 2019

(My store usually only has one or two cashiers at night because we have several self-checkout machines and if it gets too busy, someone from the departments comes up to ring. I am busy trying to clean up my department when a call for an additional cashier comes across the radio. I answer it and head up to the registers where I see one customer checking out with a few items and two elderly people behind them. Even though an additional isn’t really necessary, I sign on anyway, and the two elderly people come to my lane.)

Me: “Hi. Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Customer #1: “Yes, we did, thanks. We are just getting this one item. You know, back in the day, people weren’t incredibly rude and would let people with one item go ahead.”

Me: *silent*

Customer #2: “Yeah, we were praying that someone could come to help us and it looks like you answered our prayers.”

Me: “Okay… Your total is $2.”

Customer #1: “Thank you so much for helping, dear. You really were an answer to a prayer. Hopefully, next time, people will remember their manners.”

(They leave and I go to the cashier.)

Me: “Did you hear that s***?”

Cashier: “Kind of. I know they were being obnoxious. They were upset that the woman I was checking out wouldn’t let them go first, even though I had already begun scanning her items.”

Me: “And we had every single self-checkout open, too! They kept saying that they prayed for help and if I were them, I wouldn’t be wasting prayers on petty stuff like that.”

Cashier: “I could’ve helped them if they would’ve waited literally thirty seconds. Old people are the worst.”

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Hats Off To His Final Attempt

, , , , , , | Legal | August 27, 2019

My three siblings and I all started work in the service industry as soon as we were old enough, and out of all our experiences, my favorite Crazy Work Story is my younger sister’s.

She works in a store in the mall that sells very fun but very expensive clothing and accessories and that actually has a policy allowing employees to confront shoplifters. One day, a young guy — college-age — comes in wearing a bulging, heavy coat. Everything about his demeanor and the way he tries to avoid the employees screams, “Shoplifter!” from the moment he enters. My sister tries to keep an eye on him until he asks to go in a fitting room.

Their fitting rooms aren’t groups of stalls separated by sex but actual closet-sized rooms behind regular doors in the wall. They can only be opened from the outside by employees with keys, but, of course, customers can open them from the inside without a key. My sister unlocks a room for him and continues to keep an eye on it after he goes inside. As soon as he leaves, his coat now bulging even more, she peeks inside and sees that the room is full of anti-theft tags.

She catches up with him and asks him what all those anti-theft tags are doing in the fitting room he was using. He silently shakes his head, holds up his arms, and shrugs. The motion causes two of her store’s hats to fall out of his coat. According to my sister, “It looked like he just gave birth to them!” I can’t picture the scene without hearing a sitcom laugh track.

Well, mall security is called, and an empty-your-pockets ritual is conducted in her store’s back room. He hands over thousands of dollars’ worth of stuff from multiple stores in the mall, completely covering the table, including several very expensive gadgets from a certain computer store. Charges are pressed, and my sister is tasked with returning all the failed-to-be-stolen goods back to where they came from. (I am livid that the computer store, which had stood to lose the most money had she not caught the guy, didn’t give her a gift card or something as a reward!)

I guess the moral of the story is, if you get away with stealing thousands of dollars’ worth of stuff, quit while you’re ahead and don’t push your luck trying to steal a few hats.

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That Hasn’t Been Made Up Yet

, , , , | Right | August 19, 2019

(I work in the health and beauty section of a big-box style store. I overhear the pharmacist direct a customer to a specific aisle, so I stop them to see what they need help finding.)

Me: “Were you guys looking for something in particular?”

Customer: “I’m looking for astringent. [Specific Brand] carries it.”

Me: “Okay, let’s see what we can find.”

(I lead her over to the aisle and can’t find what she is describing.)

Me: “I’m sorry but it looks like we don’t carry that product. What do you use it for? I might be able to offer similar items.”

Customer: “I use it to help my skin since it’s oily, and I also use it before I put on makeup because it helps it stay on better.”

Me: “Wait. Are you looking for a primer or something more like a toner?”

Customer: “What are those?”

Me: “Primer is the first base for putting on makeup. It sometimes has extra benefits for addressing skin concerns, but it just makes the makeup last longer through the day. Toner helps with pores, evening out the skin’s tone, and helps the skin with excess dirt and oil.”

Customer: “I want that.”

Me: “Which one? They are two separate products.”

Customer: “I want one that does both, though.”

(Sigh.)

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