When They Say Early Morning Delivery, They MEAN It

, , , | Working | March 26, 2020

(I worked the third shift at an injection molding factory. I ran the only CNC machine there which was hidden two buildings away from everyone else. The buildings there connected roll-up doors big enough for a forklift to drive through. So, imagine being the only person in a pole barn full of boxes. My machine made the only noise and it wasn’t very loud, so it was very quiet all night — creepy quiet. My manager would literally forget I was even there until I handed in my paperwork at the end of the shift when she would look at me and say, “Wait, you were here?!” During one night, while I am in my creepy corner plugging away at the parts order, I get the feeling that I am being watched. I look up from my machine and in the tiny window, I see a man staring at me from the pitch-black night. I about have a heart attack. As I am recovering from fright, he starts gesturing for me to let him in the man-door next to my machine, which I bolted shut, thank freaking God. I shake my head no and gesture for him to go to the far entrance where there are people in case he tries to kidnap me. Once we get over to the door, I open it and the following conversation takes place.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Stranger: “Yeah, I got a delivery and nobody is in the office.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s 1:00 am; nobody is going to be here. Why didn’t you come in through the delivery side? It’s lit up, has the material handler there, and says, ‘DELIVERY.’”

Stranger: “But this lot has the main office.”

Me: “But there’s no dock for a semi, the office is pitch black, and the parking lot doesn’t even have light.”

Stranger: “But it’s the main office.”

Me: *sigh* “Wait here while I get the manager.”

(She convinced him to go to the actual semi dock to drop off the plastic. I still can’t understand why he would choose to pull into the pitch-black lot with no semi dock over the brightly-lit lot with a semi dock and a large sign that says, “DELIVERY.” He literally drove right past it.)

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No One Wants To Be The Guinea Pig For THAT Business Venture

, , , | Right | March 25, 2020

(I am at the register ringing up a couple buying bedding and toys for their guinea pig.)

Me: “Hi, did you find what you were looking for today?”

Woman: “I think so. I had a question, though.”

Me: “Okay. How can I help?”

Woman: “Well, I had two guinea pigs, and one of them just died. Would it be a good idea to change out all of the bedding?”

Man: “Yeah, I mean, she can probably smell the dead one in her cage now.”

Woman: *gives him a dirty look* “I just wanted to make sure she felt comfortable now that she doesn’t have a playmate anymore.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Pets are always a part of the family. It definitely wouldn’t hurt if you’re worried about that.”

Man: “She’s just getting too worked up about this. It’s just a guinea pig. She probably won’t know the difference.”

(They quietly argue about the deceased guinea pig. I ring up their purchases and thank them for stopping in. Right before they leave, the man turns back to me.)

Man: “You don’t happen to sell guinea pig coffins, do you?”

(The woman literally dragged him out by the collar of his shirt.)

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Unfiltered Story #190584

, , | Unfiltered | March 25, 2020

(At the fast food chain I work at, there’s a coupon that has a two for five dollar chicken selection. You can choose between our three chicken sandwiches or a three piece chicken tender, labelled as “prime chicken tender cuts.” This is stated on the coupon. I’m working at the register when this customer comes up.)
Me: Hi! Is this for here or to go?
Customer: For here. I want to use this. *holds up two for five dollar chicken coupon*
Me: Alright! What chicken did you want to select?
Customer: I’ll take a [standard chicken sandwich], and… *trails off and looks at coupon, then back at me* Does the prime tender cut come with ham?
Me: *thinking I misheard* I’m sorry?
Customer: Does the prime tender cut come with ham on it?
Me: Does the…three piece chicken tenders… come with ham?
Customer: *nods*
Me: No, it doesn’t.
Customer: Oh, okay. I’ll have the prime tender cut.
(I think that’s the end of it, until later, when my manager calls out their name and hands out the food to them.)
Customer: What’s this? *pointing at chicken tenders*
Manager: That’s our three piece chicken tender.
Customer: I ordered the prime chicken tender cut.
Manager: … Yes. Those are our chicken tenders.
Customer: Oh. *takes tray and starts to walk away* I thought it was a sandwich.
(After the customer walks away, my manager and I exchange a look. We’ve had our fair share of ‘not always there’ customers, but never had a customer that mistook the chicken tenders as a sandwich!)

Call The CEO! Just Do It!

, , , | Right | March 19, 2020

(I work footwear in a large sporting goods store. An older gentleman comes in:)

Customer: “I have bought three pairs of the same [Shoe Model]s from one of your competitors that have all been ‘defective’ on me.”

Me: “The shoe might not be right for your foot.”

Customer: “Why don’t you call [Major Brand] and figure out what the problem is?”

(I chuckle, thinking he is joking, but he looks at me dead serious.)

Me: “You want me to call [Brand] and ask them what is wrong with a pair of shoes that you didn’t even buy at our store?”

Customer: “No, you can just get them on the phone and I will talk to them.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, I can’t just ‘call’ [Brand], but if you have a problem with a pair of their shoes they have customer service, and since you didn’t buy the shoes at our store there isn’t much else I can do.”

Customer: “Why can’t you just get them on the phone for me?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, I just can’t.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why not; you have their stuff all over your store.”

(I apologize five more times, yet he still persists that I get [Brand] on the phone.)

Me: “You know what? On second thought, I think I have the CEO of [Brand] on speed dial on my personal cell.”

(After that, I called over a manager to talk to him and he left unsatisfied. It’s one of the more interesting experiences I have had at that job.)

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Big Brother Needs To Know What Socks You’re Buying

, , , , | Right | March 19, 2020

(I work at a large retail department store chain where, in every transaction, we have to ask a customer if they have a [Store] card, which sends them discounts and coupons. A husband and wife in their sixties come into my line.)

Me: *rings up items* “Your total today comes to [total]. Do you have a [Store] card?”

Husband: *to his wife* “I don’t know. Do we have one?”

Wife: “Yes, if you could look up our phone number we have it under, please.” *gives her phone number*

Me: *enters the phone number, repeat the total purchase price*

Husband: “That’s just Big Brother’s way of watching what you buy.”

Me: *sort of shocked* “Sir, it’s actually just to send you coupons and discounts; we don’t keep any sort of record of what the customer buys with the [Store] Card.”

Husband: “I see that they already have you trained to be one of them.”

Me: “Excuse me? One of who?”

Husband: “Big Brother, the government. They’re always watching.” *finishes up paying with his debit card* 

Me: “Um, I just cashier…” *prints off the receipt and quickly hands it over* “Thank you and have a nice day!”

(The wife looks shocked and dumbfounded at what her husband has just said.)

Husband: “Come on. Let’s get out of here before they try anything else.”

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