The Pen Is Mightier Than Your Word

, , , , , , | Working | October 18, 2017

(I work for a supermarket as a delivery driver. My job requires me to do some paperwork and I often find myself needing pens. One morning I decide to purchase some from the store I’m based out of before I begin my shift, and I pick up some breakfast while I’m doing this. To get from the aisle with my breakfast items to the pens I walk past the front of store security officer who is well-known for his dislike of delivery drivers, for reasons I don’t know.)

Security Officer: “Excuse me, you can’t take items you purchased through to the staff room from the back; you have to go around the outside.”

(This is a store policy to prevent staff taking items from the shelves and consuming them without paying for them.)

Me: “Yup, I know, but I’m going to get some pens.”

Security Officer: “You cannot take items through the store; you must go around the outside.”

Me: “Yes. I know. I haven’t even paid for this yet. I want to go and get some pens.”

Security Officer: “If you attempt to go further I will have to detain you and inform your manager.”

Me: “Fine, I tell you what; hold my breakfast while I go and get pens.” *I hand him my breakfast and start to walk away.*

Security Officer: “It is not my job to return the items you are attempting to steal; please do so yourself and in future, control yourself!”

(I ignored him, walked over to the aisle containing pens, and picked up a pack. I walked back over, took my breakfast from him, and joined the line to pay for my purchases and proceeded to go about my work day. It turns out he decided to report my “attempted theft” to my manager, but my manager is well aware of his grudge against delivery drivers and ignored him. Some days later my manager informed me I had been reported for “gross misconduct” to the store manager. Since the CCTV footage showed me walking through the store, getting my breakfast, attempting to get pens, and nothing else, it was concluded by the store manager that I was probably just getting pens.)

Put A Lid On Your Totally Reasonable Demands!

, , , , , , | Working | October 18, 2017

(I stop at a frozen custard shop to pick up some treats to take home for my family. The shop takes orders and then calls out items as they’re ready. I order three items “to go.” Soon, the employee is at the window calling out one of the items I’ve ordered, but without a lid, so I figure it isn’t mine. Eventually, though, I go to the window.)

Me: “Is that the [item] I ordered?”

Employee: “Did you order [item]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Employee: *tries to hand me the item*

Me: “To go…”

Employee: *looks at me blankly*

Me: “…which means it needs a lid.”

(The employee grabbed a lid, put it on the item, and handed it to me. She then tried to hand me the next two items I’d ordered without lids, too; I had to tell her they also needed them.)

Sick Of Not Being Sick

, , , , | Working | October 17, 2017

(After being as fit as a fiddle for more than two years, I get sick. A really bad cold knocks me out for a whole week. I can’t speak, and barely eat or drink. When I’m finally healthy and back at work the next week, I bump into my coworker.)

Coworker: “Hey, how was your vacation?”

(He wasn’t the only one who asked me that. I really need to get sick more often.)

A Closed Open Policy

, , , , , | Working | October 17, 2017

(We have a company meeting at another location that digs into time that would normally be spent doing weekly audits of our ATM machine. At the meeting I ask [Coworker] to leave for our branch ASAP so that we can finish before we open. [Coworker] takes her time, and arrives 15 minutes after I do. I set everything up so that all she has to do is punch in her code and we can start balancing. Instead of assisting, [Coworker] punches in her code and then checks her email, applies lipstick, and logs on to social media, all while I’m frantically counting cash, balancing it against spread sheets, and strapping it to load back in. Finally I finish.)

Me: “[Coworker], can you punch in your code again?”

Coworker: *in the nastiest tone possible* “Oh, now you need me.”

Me: “You could have helped me this whole time! I needed help.”

Coworker: “You could have waited for me. Everyone knows you need at least 15 minutes to settle in before you actually start working.”

(We opened late that day.)

Needs To Reverse That Reversal

, , , , | Working | October 17, 2017

In college I had a summer job in a shop, installing refrigeration units on semi-trailers. Several other college and high-school kids performed the same job as I, although with varying degrees of mechanical aptitude.

I was working on a trailer one day when one of them came asking for help. “I’ve been trying to drill a hole in this frame rail for an hour and it won’t go through,” he said.

I replied, “Okay, let’s have a look.” We walked over and got under the trailer he was working on, where I could see a dimple in the rail and lots of heat-blistered paint. “Let me see your drill.”

I looked at the heat-discolored bit in it and realized he’d been trying to make his hole with the drill in reverse. I told him, “It’s because the drill is going the wrong direction.” He said thanks and I left him to continue.

Another half-hour passed and the bell for lunch rang. As I walked past his bay, I saw him under the trailer, with the drill still in reverse, trying to punch the hole from the other side of the rail.

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