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Bad boss and coworker stories

Isn’t This The Plot To An Adult Film Or Something?

, , , , , , | Right Working | May 18, 2022

Decades ago, I used to drive for a number of local pizzerias in town. One was family-owned and they had their twelve-year-old daughter answer phones and take orders. Unfortunately, she had a habit of transposing numbers and getting addresses wrong.

One night, I had a late delivery to an older part of town that often had older houses converted into a number of apartments for rent. When I arrived, the lights were out on this old house, but I opened the door and started searching for apartment four. As it was dark and there only seemed to be three doors on the main floor, I went upstairs and saw a room with a light on at the end of the hallway. I knocked on the door.

It swung open to reveal this HUGE biker-type guy in the middle of making love to a woman! They slowly turned toward me in the doorway, and all I could think to do was ask:

Me: “Did you order a pizza?”

It was when he grabbed the huge hunting knife on his nightstand that I figured the answer was “No.”

It turned out that the owners’ daughter had transposed the address numbers again and I had accidentally “broken into” someone’s home!

A Fitting Moniker

, , , , , , , | Working | May 17, 2022

Someone once put up a nameplate in our engineering office:

Nameplate: “Herdaing Katz, engineering manager.”

I have no idea if it was an actual person or not. I was afraid to ask!

Cut The Old Jokes Cold Turkey

, , , , | Right Working | May 17, 2022

I was at the checkout at a grocery store, and the poor cashier kept trying and trying to get a small package of turkey breast to scan. She then tried multiple times to key in the SKU number. Then, she called for her supervisor or someone of elevated rank, who also couldn’t make it work.

Then, THAT person called for a Customer Service Representative, who also couldn’t make it work. The machine kept saying the item didn’t exist.

Cashier: “Dude, it’s right here in my hands!”

I kept struggling to resist the urge to make that “Oh, I guess it’s free” joke. Finally, she threw up her hands.

Cashier: “I give up!”

I cracked.

Me: “Well, I guess you could just make it ‘on the house’!”

She laughed as she entered the name and price manually, and I was finally able to check out.

Define “Urgent”

, , , , | Working | May 17, 2022

I work in IT and I assist in tracking down issues and correcting them from various departments. The tickets are coded in priority from low to urgent, meaning that business is stopped.

I get an urgent ticket from the call center, which typically means phone lines are down, so I stop what I am doing to look at it. The request states that eighty calls in the past month have been routed incorrectly for [Product]. This needs to be researched and corrected immediately.

Eighty calls? I pull up how many calls this product receives each month: over 35,000.

I close the ticket and respond.

Me: “I show that members have the ability to select in the phone tree which department they wish to reach. If eighty members out of 35,000 calls reached the incorrect department — which is less than 0.23% of the call volume for [Product] — I would recommend that we put this in the monthly bulletin as a success case and see if we can get the same percentage in our other products. Thank you for sharing the good news with the IT department as, typically, we only see Urgent tickets for escalated items such as the phone system down in the call center.”

Sadly, it was not in the monthly bulletin, but it was brought up in my one-on-one with my manager to not copy the entire department on ticket responses.

Oh, Sure, That Sounds Smart

, , , , , | Working | May 17, 2022

My job seeking advisor once told me about a guy who failed his medical exam. He had applied to work on an offshore oil driller platform. He smoked about twenty cigarettes a day and was asked if he was willing to quit smoking. He said no and, therefore, failed the exam.

He even complained, saying that they should have a smoking room for smokers.