Comes Into Work And Phones It In

, , , , , , | Working | July 20, 2018

(One day, I’m with my coworker who has a reputation for being really spoiled. His mom buys him everything he wants, and the only reason he has this job is because his dad forced him to get it. The day we’re assigned to work a shift together, he comes in late, helps one customer, and goes on a scheduled break.)

Me: “[Coworker]?”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “What’re you doing?”

Coworker: “I’m taking my break. Duh.”

Me: “Maybe you could give me a hand? It’s really busy, and I’ve been doing all the work this morning.”

Coworker:  “No f****** way. I’m on my break.”

(I give up because there are customer waiting. Less than thirty minutes later, my manager walks in. She looks at my coworker, then at the line, and orders him to start working. He rolls his eyes, but starts helping… with all the simplest jobs. Finally, it’s my break, and I head into the break room and look for my phone to text my boyfriend. I can’t find it, and I start freaking out. It’s brand new, and I had to save up for a long time for it. I ask my coworker, and he says he doesn’t know. I search the break room and the cash register, and then go to talk to the manager. She knows I’m honest and never misplace things that important, since I’ve been working there for three years, so she says she’ll contact the security people, and look at the camera footage, but in the meantime I should head back to work. I do, and near the end of my shift, she approaches my coworker and me. She drags us into the break room, since there’s only two or three people in the shop.)

Manager: “[Coworker]… return [My Name]’s phone.”

Coworker: “I don’t have it!”

(The manager glares daggers, turns, and heads to his coat that’s hanging up on a hook. She digs in his pocket and, lo and behold, my phone’s there.)

Coworker: “That’s my f****** phone!”

Me: “No, it’s not; that’s my case.”

Coworker: “She’s lying!”

Me: “Then unlock it.”

Coworker: “Fine!” *snatches it and enters random numbers* “It’s not unlocking; something is probably wrong with it.”

(I yank it out of his hand, unlock it easily, and show the home screen to the manager: a photo of me with my boyfriend and our cat.)

Coworker: “SHE FRAMED ME!”

(Somehow, he didn’t get fired, and ACTUALLY HAD THE NERVE TO HIT ON ME TWO DAYS LATER.)

Fraught With A Quart

, , , , , , | Working | July 20, 2018

(I’m bringing some used motor oil to an auto parts store to be recycled. Depending on who’s working at the time, they may take the oil for me, or they might have me go in the back and pour it out myself. This time, an employee escorts me to the recycling tank. Each time this is done, there’s a log that needs to be filled out. We get to the part regarding “quantity” when this happens.)

Employee: “So, how much?”

Me: “Well, this says gallons, so let’s say one.”

Employee: *indicating my container* “That’s one?”

Me: “Well, it’s five quarts, and there are four quarts in a gallon, so it’s a little more than one.”

Employee: “So…”

Me: “We can say one and a half, because that’s gallons.”

Employee: “So, four?”

Me: *giving up* “Sure.”

Five-Hour Gap In Your Geography

, , , , , | Working | July 19, 2018

(I call a tech company that is based in the USA. I’m in Canada.)

Tech Company: “Just drop into our nearest store and we can do this.”

Me: “That won’t happen.”

Tech Company: “What do you mean? It is just the next town over, right?”

Me: “Yes… which is about five hours away.”

Tech Company: “What do you mean? It’s the next town; it can’t be that far.”

Me: “You do realize how far apart cities are here in Canada, right?”

Not So Heavy On Paper

, , , , | Working | July 19, 2018

(At my work, I do the processing for orders in the backroom, and we have these 80-pound rolls of paper to fill space. My space is the closest, and I have just replaced mine with the help of [Coworker #1] who does the lifting while I guide the bar, since it’s a two-person job. The space next to mine also runs out, so I go to get the paper ready.)

Coworker #2: “No, it’s okay. I can do it myself; I’m a guy.”

Me: “You think that just because I’m a girl I can’t do it?”

(I flip over the roll to take out the plastic ends.)

Coworker #2: “See? You’re struggling.”

Me: “Me being a girl does not mean I can’t lift something of a decent weight. You would know this if you weren’t assuming, so go get your pole ready for the paper.”

(I slid the paper on with a little difficulty, but the power of somebody telling me I couldn’t do something powered me through it.)

Newspaper Sales Are Declining

, , , , , | Working | July 19, 2018

(I’m sitting at work when my cell phone rings. It has rung at the same time every morning at work, and it is always the same people: the local newspaper, trying to sell me a subscription. I have asked the last three times to be taken off their list because I am not interested. I pick up the phone, and the following conversation ensues:)

Me: “Hello?”

Salesperson: “Hi, this is [Salesperson] from [Newspaper]. Now are you today?”

Me: “Honestly, not very good. You guys are calling me every day at work when I have repeatedly asked to be taken off your list because I’m really not interested. I am working, and I’m going to start getting in trouble for being on my phone.”

Salesperson: *rudely* “Look, this is my first time calling you; you don’t need to be getting mad at me. I’m just trying to do my job!”

Me: “I’m not mad at you, and I understand that you are doing your job. I’m just letting you know I’m really not interested. Is there any way to be removed from this call list?”

Salesperson: “Sure, okay… but would you be interested in—”

Me: *talking over him* “Well, now I’m mad!”

(I hung up and blocked their number. Should have done that in the first place!)

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