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Bad boss and coworker stories

If You Talk Big, You Have To Work Big

, , , , , , | Working | September 16, 2021

[Sales Guy] is one of the younger sales guys who is either some sort of bank robber or greatly exaggerates his lifestyle, as he is in an entry-level job on entry-level pay. [Sales Guy] hasn’t done anything today and it’s already 11:00 am. He wanders over to us and interrupts people actually doing some work.

Sales Guy: “Might get a new car this month.”

Coworker #1: “Didn’t you say you just got a car?”

Coworker #2: “Or were getting one?”

Sales Guy: “Yeah, yeah, I did. Don’t really like the colour.”

Coworker #1: “Oh, sure. Yeah, I might buy a new house. Don’t like the colour of the bathroom.”

Coworker #2: “What’s a bathroom? I just let my butler pick it up off the floor.” *Laughs*

Sales Guy: “Whatever, you guys. You’re just jealous. You’re not swag like me.”

Coworker 2: “What’s a swag?”

Sales Guy: “I hate you guys.” *Storms off*

Me: “He can’t even drive. The guy needs to get his head down or they will get rid of him.”

Coworker #1: “No chance; his mom is a friend of the boss.”

Turns out I was right; he didn’t last the week. [Sales Guy] made some stupid story up about how the other guys were stealing all of his sales, not thinking that they could check all the emails and phone calls he wasn’t making.

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Her Brain Ain’t Doin’ So Hot

, , , | Working | September 16, 2021

On a trip to the coast in a quaint tourist town, I decide on a sandwich for lunch. I end up in a deli that promises “freshly made sandwiches, hot and cold”. There is quite a variety on the menu.

Me: “Hi. May I have a cold cheese and ham baguette, please?”

Server: “No problem.”

I see her take a baguette already filled with cheese from the counter. She turns round to where all the cold meats are, and I expect her to put some ham in the baguette. However, she bags it up and passes it to me.

Me: “Did you put ham in that?”

Server: “I did not, sir, as you said you wanted it cold.”

Me: *Utterly baffled* “Err, can you not just put the ham in now?”

Server: “I’m sorry, sir, but we can only do a ham and cheese baguette hot.”

Me: “So, are there some already hot?”

Server: “No, sir. I need to make it up, put it in the oven, and then serve it hot.”

Me: *Increasingly baffled* ”So, you make it cold before you put it in the oven. Can I have one before you put it in the oven?”

The server looks at me as if trying to work it out.

Server: “I can do that, but it would need to be in one of these—” *holds up a ciabatta roll* “—as those are the only ones that we can do hot.”

I realised that any further argument was pointless and simply accepted a cold cheese and ham ciabatta roll. I left the shop still trying to work out what had actually happened and went and sat on the sea wall to enjoy my “cold ham and cheese baguette”.

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Try A Bar Next Time, Buddy

, , , , , | Working | September 16, 2021

I just started working for an international company. Our company uses a messaging app to communicate directly across locations. During my first week, an employee from another location messages me.

Employee: “Hi! I’m [Employee]. I’m at [Location] but I’m equal to [My Boss].”

Me: “Oh, nice! What do you think?”

Employee: “I like it. I’m glad you’re here.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m just starting out.”

Employee: “It’s nice to have someone to be with.”

I’m starting to get a weird feeling.

Me: “Yeah, I’ve met some great people at [My Location]. They’re really helpful.”

Employee: “I can help, too, if you need. We can be together.”

Although he’s said nothing outright inappropriate, something about him unnerves me.

Me: “Well, I have [Supervisor] here, so I’ll probably go to him, but I appreciate the offer.”

Employee: “We can cuddle up and get through work together.”

There it is.

Me: “No.”

He says nothing for a while and then comes back

Employee: “Are you smart? You have to be smart to do this job.”

Me: “Yes, I am. I have work to do. Enjoy your day.”

An hour later…

Employee: “I’ll try not to think of you.”

Me: “We can be colleagues who talk about work, but I will not engage in anything else. Is that clear?”

Employee: “I saw your ID photo and thought you should know you’re beautiful. That’s all.”

I did not respond. Instead, I saved the whole conversation to my computer and emailed it to my supervisor, his supervisor, and human resources. He was fired.

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So Much For Being Early

, , , , , | Working | September 16, 2021

I place an order online for a salad and wrap place. The earliest option is for twenty minutes later, but I go in early anyway in case they are also early. I walk straight into the “online pickup” area. An employee barely glances up since they are clearly busy making and boxing up orders.

The people who come in around the same time as me, but who order normally at the counter, start picking up their food as the employees call out that orders are ready. I figure they will call mine when it’s ready, so I continue to wait patiently. The rush finishes fifteen minutes after I came in, and I am the only one left in the restaurant. Finally, a different employee from the one I saw making food calls out to me.

Employee: “Are you picking something up?”

Me: “Yeah, an online order for [My Name].”

The employee reaches for an already wrapped-up box.

Employee: “Oh!”

Me: “Was it ready that whole time?!”

Employee: “Yes, just say something next time!”

I almost replied that no one had even acknowledged me when I came right to the pickup area, and that I didn’t want to bother the busy employee, so maybe this is a NAR!

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Avocad-Oh, Be Nice!

, , , , | Working | September 16, 2021

We have a manager who is the least sympathetic person on the planet; this woman has no empathy or compassion to speak of. I once called her crying in pain because I needed EMERGENCY surgery due to an impacted wisdom tooth worming its way into my temporal-mandibular joint, and all she had to say was that I should wait to get it removed until a time more “convenient” for her. Basically, a raisin is where her heart should be.

We are discussing a new employee who is graduating with his Ph.D.; I am throwing him a party.

Owner: “When is the party?”

Me: “It is going to be [date]. I will get lunch and the cake he requested. I don’t know what we will do for lunch yet, but it cannot have avocados as he is allergic.”

Heartless Manager: “He is allergic to avocados? Poor thing. I couldn’t not eat avocados.”

Me: “Yeah, well, it shouldn’t affect things too much.”

Heartless Manager: *Continuing* “You know, I haven’t heard of an avocado allergy. There is no such thing. I bet he just doesn’t like them and says he is allergic.”

Don’t worry; she has zero say in the food choices, so she won’t get a chance to check that theory.

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