Bad boss and coworker stories

A Truly Impressive Baby Face

, , , | Working | March 4, 2021

While waiting in line at the store, I overhear this conversation.

Cashier: “Everyone’s always thinking I’m fifteen! It’s so awful! How old do you think I am?”

Customer: *Awkwardly* “Nineteen?”

Cashier: “Yes! I’m so happy you got it right!”

Customer: “Sure.”

The transaction finishes. I step up.

Cashier: “Hey, sweetie! Are you waiting on your mom?”

Me: “I’m thirty.”

The transaction finishes in awkward but blissful silence.

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His Brain Has Sprung A Leek

, , , , , | Working | March 4, 2021

When I’m at work, I frequently keep a mug of soup on my desk. My favorite kind is a creamy potato-leek combination. When sitting in a mug, it looks identical to coffee with cream. However, it smells nothing like coffee, of course.

I have a coworker who, in spite of frequent talkings-to by management, feels entitled to help himself to what others have. On the day in question, the office coffee machine is broken and my coworker has been grumbling about it near my desk.

I’m working on a report when he approaches me and looks down into my mug. Before I can say a word, he picks up my mug and takes a huge swallow. Then, he spits soup all over the floor.

Coworker: “THAT ISN’T COFFEE!”

Me: *Appalled* “I never said it was coffee! Who just picks up someone else’s cup and starts drinking? What is wrong with you, [Coworker]?!”

Coworker: “I wanted coffee! I need my coffee! Why did you trick me like that? How do you know I’m not allergic to whatever that is?”

I am beyond fed up.

Me: “Well, I hope you are! Maybe that will teach you not to steal someone else’s things!”

The coworker actually went to HR to complain about me “trying to kill him.” When they heard the entire story, he received a three-day suspension. I wish I could say that he learned his lesson, but when he returned, he still helped himself to other people’s things — just never mine again.

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So Simple A Newborn Could Do It

, , , , , , | Working | March 4, 2021

My wife and I are having our first child soon so we are trying to get the essentials bought as soon as possible. The most important, or at least the most expensive, is the stroller.

We go shopping at a baby store that sells cribs, car seats, and strollers. Once we get there, the salesman immediately comes over to greet us. He says a warm hello to my wife and her mother and then takes them off to see the strollers, leaving me to trail behind them.

The salesman is very enthusiastic and shows us a few strollers in our price range.

Me: “This one seems to be the best option, as far as I can tell. How does it fold up?”

The salesman reaches down and folds it up in one quick fluid motion.

Salesman: “Ta-da!”

Me: “Okay, but how exactly did you do that? It was too quick for me to follow.”

Salesman: *Turns to my wife* “He’s not so on the ball is he?”

Then, he turns back to me and speaks slowly, as if to a child.

Salesman: “You… hold… here… and… pull… up… on… the… handles… here.”

Then, he gave me a smug look and went back to talking to my wife. I didn’t bother asking any more questions about the stroller and went home steamed about the whole encounter. We did end up buying it, though.

Once the stroller got delivered, wouldn’t you know it, none of us could figure out half the things it did. Once the car seat was attached to the stroller, no one could figure out how to get it off. After an hour and several instructional videos online, we discovered that the detach buttons were actually invisible and hidden under a layer of padding. 

If only there had been someone whose job it was to demonstrate how it worked.

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Let’s Just Stick To Google Earth From Our Couch

, , , , | Working | March 3, 2021

Years ago, my mother and I went on a one-week bus tour across part of the United States. We had a tour guide who was worse than useless. For example, her idea of introducing us to a new city was to hand out brochures on fun things to do in that city as we were leaving. This particular story stands out, though.

We arrived in [City], where we were scheduled to attend an outdoor play that evening.

Tour Guide: “We’re going to a very fancy restaurant before the play, so make sure you dress up!”

We all put on the nicest things we’d brought. Some people really had some expensive clothes, too — much nicer than I would have brought on a bus tour, but I digress.

The bus arrived on time to drive us to the restaurant, but there was no sign of [Tour Guide].

Bus Driver: “She said she’d meet you there.”

Okay, fine.

We got to the restaurant, only to find that it wasn’t due to open for another hour. The bus had already left, so there was nowhere to sit, and it was EXTREMELY hot. Many of the tourists were elderly and looked like they were about to faint. [Tour Guide] finally showed up as the restaurant was opening, which makes me think that SHE knew its hours of operation. Too bad she didn’t share them with us. She ignored how miserable we all looked.

Tour Guide: *Brightly* “Okay! Let’s go have dinner! You’ll love this place. It’ll probably be one of the best meals you ever had.”

We got inside, and… it was a cafeteria — the kind where you grab a plastic tray and choose your food from a cold case or order a hot entrée from the folks standing behind the counter. All of us looked at each other in our finery and raised our eyebrows. We were all thinking, “We got dressed up for THIS?”

After a very mediocre meal, we got to the play which, as I mentioned, was outdoors and therefore in the heat. At least we got to sit down! Oh, and the play was The Passion Play. Neither my mother nor I were remotely religious and hadn’t realized beforehand what it was about. We were bored to tears.

For that reason and many others, Mum sent a furious letter to the tour company when we got home, and they offered her a free shoulder bag — with their logo on it, naturally — as an apology. Mum told them politely where they could stick their free advertising.

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Show (Me The Way To Go) Home

, , , , , | Working | March 3, 2021

My wife and I are thinking of moving home. We spot a new build area in a good location, so we arrange a viewing of the show home. We get the tour. The size is great, and the layout and garden are, too, but the kitchen and bathrooms are decorated in a really dark and unpleasant colour.

Normally, if you buy new, you can choose all of this as it isn’t fitted yet. But the sales rep starts to push the show home.

Sales Rep: “You know, this plot is available. As you can see, it is ready to move in.”

Me: “Not really for us, thanks.”

Sales Rep: “Are you sure? It would be a few months until the others are ready, plus you would have to go through the whole long process of picking out tiles.”

Wife: “Actually, we quite like that bit.”

Me: “Could we have a moment to look around again?”

Sales Rep: “Sure. I will head back to the office.”

We chat and look around, and we both agree we like the house but hate the kitchen and bathrooms. We would be happier to wait and get something that works for us. We head back to the sales rep.

Sales Rep: “Hi, you two. Good news! I spoke to my manager and he has cleared a discount on the show home. It’s [a few hundred off]. What do you think? Shall I put your names down for a deposit?”

Me: “We have talked and would like to wait for the new builds.”

Sales Rep: “Are you sure? We get a lot of interest in that show home. You don’t want to miss out.”

Wife: “We are sure.”

Sales Rep: “Well, okay, then. I will add you to the contact list when they become available.”

We ended up buying one of the new homes when they became available, but not before being contacted three more times about that show home. It dropped very little in value and was one of the last properties to sell on the lot.

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