Can’t Handle Your Logical Argument

, , | Working | November 15, 2018

(I finally complete a job that has taken weeks to complete due to other work being of higher importance, and due to the fact that the manager pulled some of my work apart because she couldn’t understand the written instructions. I spend five hours completing the final stage. Our company has strict display regulations; everything has to be exactly how they specify. My manager seems to have it in for me, usually degrading my work after she’s given me the wrong instructions, and then telling me off for not doing it exactly to company standards. I get back in after a few days off work.)

Manager: *takes me to the section I had been working on* “I didn’t like what you did here; it’s not logical so I pulled it apart. I’ve had to start rearranging it, which was a complete waste of my time, because you don’t think about what you do. I should have been completing my work for [inspection visit].”

Me: *shrugging* “I know it’s not logical.”

Manager: “You know it’s not logical, so why did you do it this way?”

Me: “Because… you realise it was done exactly to [Her Superior]’s specifications?”

Manager: *deer-in-headlights look* “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, I can show you the paperwork.”

Manager: “Oh.”

Me: “Yeah, I was going to wait until after the company inspection in two days to put it in a more logical order.”

Retail Larceny On The Rise, As It Turns Out Management Apparently Assisting Thieves

, , , , , , | Working | November 14, 2018

I am shopping in a very touristy shop in a major tourist area, and have piled my arms with souvenirs, some of them quite pricey. I spot a rack of bottles of different flavours of grappa, each with a spout hanging down with a button to express the liquid. Underneath the rack is a shelf containing dozens of tiny, plastic shot glasses of the type commonly used for free samples — some used — as well as giant signs reading, “FREE SAMPLES.” It is completely commonplace for places like this to offer free samples, and in fact, I’ve never seen one that didn’t.

I press the button on one bottle and help myself to a sample — literally about a teaspoon — of some grappa.

Suddenly the owner rushes up to me and snatches the glass from me, screaming, “NO SELF SERVICE!” before pushing me out of the door.

In his rush to get rid of me for committing the crime of tasting one of the free samples, he doesn’t notice my hands are still full of the products I’ve been intending to purchase.

I am not a thief, so I don’t leave with them, but I am not willing to go back inside the shop. I leave the products on the pavement outside. Oh, well, rude shop owner. I hope no one else comes along and steals them!

She Is Very Much Mistaken

, , , , , , | Working | November 14, 2018

I am going through early menopause — I’m 41 — but recently, I came down with something odd. I was nauseous and throwing up in the morning, fine by afternoon, smells were bothering me, etc., but I had no fever, so my husband and I decided to take a pregnancy test, just in case.

I went to the local pharmacy and while there, I also picked up a “no mistakes” nail polish remover pen. At the checkout, the young, female cashier looked at both items, said, “Uh, no mistakes? If only it was that easy to erase a mistake,” and shook the pregnancy test at me.

I was so flabbergasted that I just paid and left, but I wish I had said something.

The test was negative, and my illness cleared up about a week later. I still have no idea what it was.

Proof! Evidence Of Incompetence Forces Publishers To Eat Costs

, , , , , , | Working | November 14, 2018

I am ordering more business cards for my office, and am asking the graphic designer to add our email address to the cards. Our email address has an unusual spelling, so I go through it letter by letter, and she says she will send me a proof to approve before actually printing the cards. A week later, she calls and says she’s going to drop by with the cards, and to have payment ready. I never received a proof.

Lo and behold, the email address is spelled wrong, although not in the way that most people misspell it. I refuse the incorrect cards, but she insists that someone from my office signed off on the proof. As only the business owner and I have the authority to do so, and neither of us did, I know that’s not true. Additionally, the “sent” mailbox in our email contains no correspondence with her, as it would have if anyone had approved an emailed proof.

Later, she calls saying that she checked her notes from when I called to make the order, and her notes have our email address the way she spelled it. She claims that I spelled it that way on the phone, and I point out that it’s far more likely that she wrote it down wrong, and that’s why we send a proof for approval before printing, isn’t it?

All I can conclude is that she forgot to send the proof before printing and was trying to find reasons that she could claim it was my fault so she wouldn’t have to eat the cost. Now I have to wait for the proof to actually arrive so I can double-check it before the corrected cards are printed.

Triggering A Very Powerful Off Switch

, , , , | Working | November 13, 2018

(I work in a call center. Outside is a break room where people go to smoke. Sitting across from me is a guy sullenly eating a pizza. His phone starts to chime, and he hits a button to silence it. Again it happens, and then again.)

Coworker: “Hey, buddy! I’m on break! Can you shut off your—”

(He hasn’t finished the sentence when the guy stands up and throws his cell phone hard, past the smoking area, where it crashes hard into the pavement, shattering and splintering into pieces.)

Sullen Guy: “IT’S OFF NOW!” *walks inside without a word*

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