Luckily, Human Insides Aren’t Made Of Porcelain

, , , , , | Working | February 29, 2020

It’s around 9:30 pm and I’m just heading home after a long day, but I stop at the supermarket to get a few essentials. I notice diet [Soda] is on special, so I grab a couple of bottles, as well. Admittedly, I’m a bit spaced out and not particularly chatty with the cashier.

“Are you going to drink the [Soda]?” 


“Oh, ’cause I use it for a different purpose.”

She then lets out a weird giggle. I’m not really sure where she’s going with this, so I just kind of nod and there’s an awkward silence while she rings up the rest of my items. 

“I use it to clean my toilets! They’re porcelain, so it gets them all clean.” 

“Um… okay.” 

“Just think: if it cleans your toilets, what must it do to your insides?! It can’t be good for you!” 

I’ve paid and I have all my groceries bagged up, so I pick them up.

“Well, there are worse things to put in your body.”

“Oh, um, yes. But it’s good for your toilets!”

I walked out. I get that maybe she was trying to be funny or friendly, and yes, diet [Soda] isn’t healthy. But it was a very weird way to go about it, not reading social cues, and I don’t need judgement when buying what I want as an adult.

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Never Discount The Power Of Kindness

, , , , , | Hopeless | August 7, 2019

I was buying an extremely small coffee for a friend before school, using a gift card she hadn’t given me the day before. I made small talk with the cashier about how I was buying for my friend, as I ended up having to check my phone for what she had wanted me to get. She thought there were a couple of dollars, enough for the drink she wanted, but there wasn’t nearly enough. 

I have trouble talking to people I don’t know, and I started stuttering as I apologized and asked the cashier to cancel the order, but he just smiled at me and muttered, “Oh, you’re military? And you work here, interesting!” as he applied the discounts, making enough for me to pay. 

It wasn’t a lot, but it has stuck with me as one of the nicest things a person has done for me, and it made both me and my friends day.

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They Made A Slip Up

, , , , , , | Working | July 29, 2019

(I’m the customer in this story. I’ve just entered the checkout line with my groceries and I notice a young man entering the queue behind me who is about to step into a puddle of brightly-colored liquid. He doesn’t seem to notice the “Caution” sign nearby. I reach over to stop him.)

Me: “Oh, hey, watch out there.”

Man: “What? Oh, jeez. Thanks for that.”

Me: “Yeah, of course.”

Man: *laughing a little* “I didn’t even see that. I wasn’t paying attention.”

Me: “Ah, it happens to the best of us.”

(I turn from my interaction with the man back to my groceries as I notice that the cashier is starting to ring me up. I helpfully put down a divider behind my groceries, as well. I exchange pleasantries with the cashier and begin pulling out my ID for the bottle of wine I’m purchasing. I’m in my 20s with extreme babyface, and I fully expect to be ID’d every time I purchase. The cashier takes my ID, scans it, and looks around me and gets the attention of the man behind me who is now on his phone.)

Cashier: “Excuse me, sir! I need your ID, too.”

Man: “Uh, what?”

Me: “Er, he’s not with me. These are all my groceries.”

Cashier: “Yes, but you obviously know him. I need his ID.”

Me: “I’ve never met this man before five minutes ago. I just warned him not to slip.”

Cashier: *very smugly and self-assuredly* “Yeah, no. You’re together and you’re buying this alcohol for him.”

(I can’t help but wonder how many people are buying entire carts of groceries only to disguise single bottles of wine for underage kids. The guy behind me doesn’t look old, but he does look older than my babyface, for sure.)

Man: “I have no idea who this lady is. And I’m not giving you my ID.”

Cashier: “I saw you guys enter the line at the same time. I can’t sell this to you until he gives me his ID.”

Me: “I’m… not sure what you want me to do here. I have literally never met this man in my life. I don’t even know his name.”

Cashier: “Yeah, are you sure about that? I’m going to need his ID, too, okay?”

Man: “I am not handing over my ID. I. Do. Not. Know. This. Person.”

(The man turns bodily away from both the cashier and me and seems to be gathering his own groceries from the belt to move lanes. The cashier suddenly loses their smug attitude and conviction.)

Cashier: *sounding sad or disappointed* “Oh… Are you guys really not together?”

Me: “I have literally never met him before today. I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to even speak with other customers in line. Am I able to buy this or not?”

Cashier: “Yeah…” *a sad sigh* “I guess, if you guys don’t know each other.”

(The cashier finally let me finish my transaction, but I caught her watching me like a hawk to see if the man exited another line to come speak with me. I never saw the man again and I am now paranoid of who enters line behind me every time I come into that store again.)

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Quadruple The Effort  

, , , , , , | Right | July 25, 2019

(A local shop has a rewards program so I sign up for it, and I am assigned the number 633331. One day, my wife and I go shopping and we’re at the register.)

Cashier: “Number, please.”

Me: “6, quadruple 3, 1.”

Cashier: “Uh?”

Me: “6, quadruple 3, 1.”

Cashier: “Uh?”

Me: “Okay, 6, four threes, 1.”

Cashier: “6431.”

Me: “No, 6,3,3,3,3,1.”

Cashier: “631 and?” 

Me: “6, double 3, double 3, 1.”

Cashier: “6, double 3, 1 and?”

Me: *getting annoyed* “6 double 3, double 3, 1.”

Cashier: “I already have 6, double 3, 1! Next?”

Me: “Please write what I tell you, EXACTLY!”

Wife: “[My Name], calm down.”

Me: “But she’s not writing what I tell her.”

Cashier: “Yes, I am!”

Me: “NO, you’re not! Write what I tell you to write, NOT what you think I want you to write! Now, start again. 6.”

Cashier: “6.”

Me: “Double 3.”

Cashier: “Double 3.”

Me: “Double 3.”

Cashier: “I’ve done that.”

Me: “Double 3!”

Cashier: “I’ve done that!”


Cashier: “Double 3.”

Me: “1.”

Cashier: “1… Oh!”

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Meet-Cute At The Checkout

, , , , , , | Romantic | June 29, 2019

(My boyfriend has traveled to America to visit me. While checking out at a shop, he and the cashier are making conversation about that.)

Cashier: “So, what brings you to America?”

Boyfriend: “Him.” *points at me*

Cashier: “That’s nice. Are you planning on doing anything special here?”

Boyfriend: “Not really. I’m just going to relax and spend some time with my sweetie.”

Cashier: “Ooh, did you meet a cute girl here?”

Boyfriend: “No, him.” *points at me again*

Cashier: “…”

Cashier: “OHHHH.”

(We all laughed about it.)

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