A United Kingdom But Not Always

, , , , , , , | Working | February 12, 2020

(My boyfriend and I are waiting in line to be served. We’re chatting about what food to order, but not in English. As we approach the cashier, she looks up and folds her arms.)

Cashier: “I hope you foreigners are planning on ordering in English.”

Boyfriend: “Pardon?”

Cashier: “We’re in the UK; you should be speaking English, not whatever [racial slur for Pakistani people] gibberish you were speaking.”

Boyfriend: “Actually, we’re in Wales, and we were speaking Welsh.”

Cashier: *turns red and runs off*

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My Only Preference Is To Annoy You

, , , , , | Working | February 12, 2020

(Over the next few weeks, we have to complete some mandatory paid training at work. It’s being run at various times on Tuesdays and Wednesdays for the next three weeks. My supervisor approaches me during one of my shifts.)

Supervisor: “Hey, are you working Tuesday or Wednesday next week?”

Me: “I’m working both days.”

Supervisor: “Do you think you could come in an hour earlier on one of those days and do the training?”

Me: “Sure. Which day?”

Supervisor: “Take your pick, Tuesday or Wednesday. Which would you prefer?”

Me: “Either or. It makes no difference to me really. Whatever’s easiest.”

Supervisor: “Both work. Just pick one.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll take Tuesday, then, and get it out the way sooner, I guess.”

Supervisor: “Oh. Is there any way you could do it Wednesday, instead? The Tuesday group is full.”

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Putting On A Show For The Boss

, , , , | Working | February 11, 2020

(I’m sort of like the shop duct tape; I’m stuck where I’m needed. I’ve run out of things to do in my corner, so I badger the rest of the shop for things I can do to help, but I’m told the only thing left is to build window latches, which is a fairly boring task that can be done by anyone with a pulse and basic shop tool knowledge. I get through it and have the idea to turn on a show that’s been recommended by a few people around the shop on my phone and tuck it back on the bench to make the day go by faster. Two hours into it, my boss catches me and starts chewing me out to the point that his boss comes out to see what’s going on.)

Boss’s Boss: “What’s going on here?”

Boss: “I caught [My Name] watching TV on his phone.”

(The boss’s boss takes a look at the pile of work to be done, the sizable pile of completed work in front of me, and the show I’ve got paused and squares up to my boss with a stern, squinty look on his face and says with a raised voice:)

Boss’s Boss: “If you’ve got a problem with Letterkenny, then you’ve got a problem with me! And I suggest you let that one marinate!” *walks back to his office*

(I got to keep watching my show.)

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Not Hearing What Your Seeing

, , , | Working | February 11, 2020

(A customer comes over to me. He’s deaf and I don’t sign, so we talk by writing on a notepad. My manager watches, and as I help them find their items and check out, we don’t speak a word, for obvious reasons. After they leave, he comes over.)

Manager: “Wow, did he piss you off? You didn’t say a word!”

Me: “He’s deaf. Talking wouldn’t have done anything for him.”

Manager: “Oh.”

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We Have An Item To Discuss

, , , , , , | Working | February 11, 2020

(I’m at an ethnic food restaurant; the menu doesn’t have any sort of descriptions of the items.)

Me: *to waitress* “What is an [item]?”

Waitress: “It’s a [slightly different pronunciation].” *stares at me*

Me: *stares back for several seconds* “What is it?”

Waitress: “It’s an [item]!”

Me: “I have no idea what that is.”

Waitress: *explains it to me like I’m three years old instead of just telling me it’s a type of pasta*

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