Offering A Knuckle Sandwich

, , , , , , , | Right | January 18, 2018

(I am a very petite female. I am the customer at a coffee shop I frequent often. The employees are very nice and most of them know me by now. I purchase a sandwich and a drink, set up my laptop, open the sandwich, and begin to work. A few minutes later I go to the restroom, leaving behind my items, only to come out to a man in his mid-40s eating my sandwich, right next to where I have been sitting. I hate confronting people and would have brushed it off, but it is just too weird.)

Me: “Excuse me. Are you eating my sandwich?”

Customer: “No, this is mine.”

Me: “I took a couple bites out of it, and there’s lip-gloss on the bite marks on ‘your’ sandwich.”

Customer: “Get your own! You young people are always taking things away from the more deserving!”

Me: *now confused and embarrassed, as everyone in the shop is staring* “Sir, that’s my sandwich. You can have it. It’s no big deal; it’s just a turkey sandwich. But I’m not the thief, here.”

Employee: “Wait. Sir, did you take this woman’s sandwich?”

Customer: “No. I’ll fight her for it!”

Employee & Me: *at same time* “You want to fight for it?!”

(There is moment of silence as the other customers and employees look back and forth between my five-foot frame and the man’s six-foot frame. The other customer looks around for a moment, then grabs my sandwich and runs out.)

Employee: “Do you want another sandwich?”

Me: “I don’t think I’ll ever eat a turkey sandwich again.”

Not A High Chance Of Getting The Job

, , , , , , , , | Working | January 18, 2018

I am 17. I see a “Help Wanted” sign across the street from my high school. The shop is also across the street from a large university campus. I go in and ask for an application. This all proceeds as normal; the barista gives me an application and offers me a free drink.

The next day, I return to the coffee shop to turn in my completed application. The barista directs me to the manager and I turn my application in to him. While busy, he seems friendly enough, and offers to give me an interview at 4:00 pm the next day.

I show up the following day about ten minutes early. The manager is nowhere in sight, so I inform the barista that I am ready for him, and once again, I am offered a free drink. I sit in the coffee shop and wait for the manager to come.

And wait.

After an hour with no sign of the manager, I ask the barista if my interview has been cancelled. The barista, who seems to have forgotten I was there, yelps in surprise and tells me that the manager isn’t in. She then goes to the back and calls him. She returns and tells me that he stepped out to run some errands and should be back in about 20 minutes.

The manager finally arrives, and after getting directions from the barista, comes over to me with a stack of applications. He shuffles through the papers, finds my application, and skims over it. He looks up at me and says, “You’re in high school?”

I answer, “Yes.”

“Sorry, we’re actually only looking for college students right now, because they have more availability.” The manager then dismisses me before I even have the chance to explain that I only take classes in the morning.

There’s No Saving Her From That Grouch

, , , , | Right | January 17, 2018

(We have a customer who is always rude, but we treat her with as much respect as any other customer. She always orders a large cappuccino, and despite the fact that it’s not standard to put chocolate on it, she demands angrily for “no chocolate on top” every time. She has also been known to cancel transactions for silly reasons like us asking her name. For some reason, she has taken a particular dislike to me over all of my other coworkers. I have recently been made Coffee Master for the store, and I have the shirt to go along with it. I am wearing it at the time. I am stocking ice and cleaning the cold beverage station when I hear the automatic doors open and look over my shoulder.)

Grouchy Customer: *walks in and looks up*

Me: “Hi! What can I get for you?”

Grouchy Customer: “Hmph!” *walks out*

(The supervisor just about wet herself laughing.)

Politeness Gets You Donuts And Wi-Fi

, , , , | Right | January 17, 2018

(I am the customer. I’ve been having the worst week ever, fighting with my cable company to get Internet in my new place, and for some reason I have to be online to activate my online access! It’s pretty late when I come into what I hope is a 24-hour coffee shop with Wi-Fi.)

Me: “Hey, what time does the lobby close?”

Barista: *looks worried* “Um, we close in about ten minutes.”

Me: “Oh, man. Oh, that figures.”

Barista: “Why?”

Me: “I was hoping to get online. I don’t have Internet and I need to handle some stuff.”

Barista: “Well, if you don’t mind us listening to music really loud, we’ll be here until 10:30. You’re welcome to stay.”

Me: “Are you sure? I don’t want to hang you guys up.”

Barista: “It’s no problem; don’t worry about it!”

(Not only was I able to get through to the online services and activate my Internet, but the baristas gave me free doughnuts when they cleaned out the cases! Way to make the worst week ever turn into the best night! Thanks, guys!)

Making A Beautiful Mocha-ry Of It

, , , , , | Working | January 15, 2018

(My mother and I are driving home from a long trip. It is evening and we still have a ways to go, so we decide to go through the drive-through of a nearby coffee shop. Note that the time is about 15 minutes to close for this location.)

Order Taker: *in a bad accent* “Hola! What can I giggity-get started for you?”

Mom: *chuckles* “Two mochas, please; hold the whipped cream.”

Order Taker: “That’s two chocos minus the sweet top. Anything else?”

Mom: “No, that’s all.”

Order Taker: “Bea-ooootiful. That’ll be 80 kabillion dollars at the next window.”

(My mom and I cracked up laughing. Thanks, silly order taker, for making our long drive a little less tiring!)

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