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Something Creepy About Him And You Can Put Your Finger On It

, , , | Right | June 26, 2022

We have a creepy regular who always orders a complicated drink. He always finishes the order with:

Customer: “And end it with a ‘finger swirl’ in the drink.”

I give him a confused look.

Customer: “Well, how else am I gonna taste you?”

Sadly, he was not banned.

A Minty Fresh Reply

, , , , , | Right | June 25, 2022

Customer: “God d*** it! I wanted a soy mint frappe! This is wrong! I can’t believe you guys expect $15 an hour when you’re this stupid!”

Me: “Sorry, sir. I can remake that for you.”

I remake it, he watches me do so, and he tries it.

Customer: “It’s wrong again! What’s the matter with you? You guys deserve minimum wage!”

Me: “Sir, what is it that’s wrong with the drink? You asked for a soy mint frappe and that is what I made.”

Customer: “There’s no milk in this! It tastes like s***!”

Me: “It has soy milk like you asked.”

Customer: “I wanted soy-mint! Not soy milk!”

Me: “Sir, soy mint means your drink comes with soy milk instead of regular milk, and mint syrup. I don’t know what a soy-mint is.”

The customer stares for a moment, trying to come up with a comeback.

Customer: “Well, you should have explained that better.”

Me: “I’m only on minimum wage, sir. I expect those earning more than me to know the difference between soy milk and mint. Thank you for choosing us, and have a great day! Next customer!”

Skimming For A Refund

, , , | Right | June 22, 2022

I’ve just given a customer their drink order.

Customer: “You skimmed the chocolate off my drink! I want a refund!”

I get my manager and explain.

Manager: *To the customer* “[My Name] is highly allergic to chocolate. It’s impossible for them to have even made your drink.”

They did not get a refund.

A Different Kind Of Heavy Petting

, , , | Right | June 17, 2022

I work in a family-owned coffee shop. It’s pretty good, the customers are (usually) nice, and the pay is mostly okay. I am still in school so it’s different than the other people who work here.

I’m working in the front with the owner since I’m still in the “training” phase of my job. The owner excuses himself to go to the back to prepare some biscuits. I hear the front doorbell ring. I don’t immediately recognize the guy, so it takes a moment for me to start greeting him. Then, I see he’s holding a leash in his other hand.

Me: “Oh, sir, you can’t—”

I’m about to say, “You can’t bring a dog in here,” because I’m worried about a dog peeing on the books and allergies and whatnot. Then, my mind registers that it isn’t just a large dog… but a human woman with a collar around her neck.

Immediately, my mind stalls. Everything just disappears.

Customer: “Good afternoon!”

My mind stalls for another second, before nervously regaining my composure.

Me: “Uh… Y-Yeah, um… Good afternoon, sir.”

Customer: “Can I get a chai latte to go? Also, no milk, please.”

Me: “S-Sure…”

Throughout the whole interaction, I’m looking at the woman on the leash. It feels like she’s glaring straight into my soul and it’s almost like she has a gleeful look at my confusion. I make the latte for them as quickly as I can. I still can’t keep my eyes off the woman.

Me: “Um. H-Here you go, sir. have a nice day.”

Customer: “Thanks!”

He turns to his companion.

Customer: “How’s this, girl?”

He doesn’t hand her the drink. Instead, he holds the cup to her lips and she sips it. That’s when I notice she has some sort of gloves on her hands, like a paw.

Internally, I’m just praying for the owner to come back and end this uncomfortable interaction. Did I forget to mention that the tables inside our shop have patrons at them? The three other people in the shop are staring.

Customer: “All right, let’s get going!”

He scratched around her ears. Finally, they both left. I was left standing at the counter, my mind still reeling.

Even now, it’s been a few days and I still can’t forget this interaction. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

Dairy, Dairy, Quite Contrary

, , , , | Right | June 14, 2022

I am serving a very agitated middle-aged woman.

Customer: “You have to remake this! I can’t have dairy!”

Me: “Oh, don’t worry. It’s actually just apple juice and syrup. There is no dairy.”

Customer: “No, there’s foam on it. That means there’s dairy.”

Me: “That’s just what happens when you steam apple juice, but sure, no worries. I’ll remake it.”

Customer: “And no sprinkles. They have dairy.”

Me: “It’s cinnamon.”

Customer: “That has dairy.”

Me: “Nope.”

Customer:Yes, it does!

Me: *Pauses* “All right, so no cinnamon powder, no whip, no caramel drizzle.”

Customer: “What? No, caramel is fine.”

Me: “Caramel absolutely has dairy.”

Customer: “No, it doesn’t.”

Me: “Caramel is made with sugar and butter, often with condensed milk, too. You can find vegan options pretty easily, but ours is not dairy-free. Most caramels aren’t.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s fine. I can have butter. I just can’t have dairy.”

Me: “Caramel. Has. Dairy. Butter. Is. Dairy.”

Customer: “Fine! Just give me the caramel on the side.” *Long, awkward silence* “Just please don’t tell me that fudge has dairy!”

Oh, my God…

Me: “Ma’am. Yes, fudge has dairy in it, too.”

Customer: “NO! IT! DOESN’T!”