We’re Afraid Of You, Too, Dude

, , , , , , | Friendly | March 25, 2020

(I am in line at a coffee shop. Behind me, there is a woman with a dog on a leash and behind her, there is a man using some type of walker. The man starts waving the walker at the dog, and the small dog backs away closer towards the woman.)

Man: “Look, your dog is afraid of it!” 

(He waves the walker at the dog a second time and again the dog backs up and hides behind the woman. The man laughs.)

Man: “Look, your dog is afraid of it!”

Woman: “Can you please stop doing that, then?”

Man: *explodes* “I am disabled! How dare you tell me what to do?”

(He goes into a screaming rant about all the medical issues he is experiencing.)

Woman: “I think you misunderstood; I just didn’t want you waving your walker at my dog.”

(Eventually, the man had to be escorted out by police because he was screaming at the top of his lungs about how the woman was discriminating against him and he hoped she ended up in a wheelchair one day.)

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The Tables Have Turned

, , , , | Right | March 24, 2020

(ALL of our tables have numbers on them for the kitchen to take food to. When customers come to a till to place their order, we must ask for a table number, as there are approximately two-hundred tables. This happens to my coworker who is working the till.)

Coworker: “Hello! How are yo—”

Customer: “I’d like a steak sandwich, kids’ spaghetti, a salmon sandwich, side of chips, side of onion rings, a latte, a cappuccino…”

(She rants off this massive order without stopping. Meanwhile, my coworker hasn’t done anything yet as she hasn’t been given a table number.)

Coworker: “Sorry, I need a table number first.”


Coworker: “I need a table number before I can take your food order.”

Customer: “Well, I’m over there!” *gesticulates randomly*

Coworker: “Each table has a number; we need the number or I cannot take your order.”

Customer:I am outside! Can’t you just tell the kitchen to take it outside?”

Coworker: “No, because there are other people sitting outside as well as you. I need the table number.”

(The customer then THREW the menu at my coworker and stormed off. She didn’t go to get her table number as we didn’t see her for the rest of the day!)

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Unfiltered Story #190336

, , , | Unfiltered | March 22, 2020

(I work alone at night and because there is no manager to refill my register if I run out of money, I am not allowed to give change for any bill over a twenty.)
Me: So your total is 11.89.
Customer: I only have a $50, is that okay?
Me: I’m sorry. I can only take a twenty or less.
Customer: Well this is all I have! Just take off the last item. I didn’t realize how bad this neighborhood was. How much is my total?
Me: It’s 8.99. I apologize again.
(I make his drink and food order.)
Me: I’m sorry, it’s just that without a manager on duty I can’t refill my register if I run out.
Customer: It’s ok, I was being a bad person. Please forgive me.
(He left me a two dollar tip!)

Unfiltered Story #190332

, | Unfiltered | March 22, 2020

(I work in a popular coffee shop inside of a department store. We’re close to a college, so we routinely get college kids coming in. It’s about an hour before closing when three college aged students come in, one guy and two girls. The two girls are giggling while the guy tries to get their orders.)

Girl #1: “I want a strawberry…um…refresher.”
Girl #2: “Strawberry acai refresher, [Girl #1]!”
Girl #1: “I never know how to pronounce it and always feel super bad for the barista. [Guy], pronounce it for me!”
Guy: “Hold on, I’m looking at their secret menu for mine. [Girl #2], what did you want?”
Girl #2: “Vanilla bean, but that poor dude’s going to hate you for yours.”
Girl #1: “They’re going to have no idea what the f*** you’re talking about!” *to me* “SORRY ABOUT HIM!”
Me: *chuckling* “It’s okay. I’ll take your orders when you’re ready.”
(The guy approaches and places his order, which thankfully isn’t off the secret menu. He looks pointedly at the girls, who immediately go bright red).
Girl#1: “I don’t know what size!”
Girl#2: “Me either…”
Guy: *sighs and rolls his eyes* “They’ll have grandes.”
Girl #1: “Grande strawberry…refresher. [Guy], I hate you. I can’t say that word.”
Me: “It’s okay. Most people can’t. What about you?”
Girl#2: “Strawberry vanilla bean, please.”
(It’s the end of the semester, so I assume they’re all a little brain dead and decide to ignore her slip up. I know what she wants, and they’ve all been polite so far. Her friend isn’t having that, though).
Girl #1: “Um…[Girl#2]…STRAWBERRY vanilla bean?”
(The other girl turns bright red and starts stammering. She apologizes repeatedly while her friends laugh.”
Me: “It’s okay. Grande vanilla bean coming right up.”
(She apologizes again and goes to sit at the table farthest away from me, head in her hands and face beet red. The guy goes to sit next to her, while the other girl keeps laughing and calling it karma. When I finish their drinks, she’s the last one to the counter, still blushing.)

Girl#2: *to her friends* “Sorry you guys can’t take me places.” *to me* “Sorry my friends can’t take me places. I’ve written three giant papers this week and took two finals…”

(I manage to hold in my laughter until they walk away. I hope that poor girl manages to do well on the rest of her finals.)

Here’s A Tip: DON’T

, , , , | Romantic | March 21, 2020

(I work at a coffee shop. There is one customer who, for the past two weeks, has been coming into the shop, ordering a coffee, putting a twenty in the tip jar, and just staring at me. He doesn’t blink, look away, or anything; he just stares at me with a creepy grin. He gives us a lot of tips and business, so my boss refuses to throw him out. 

I don’t usually work on weekends, and I take an extra day off to take my dog to the vet. When I return, my coworker immediately pulls me aside.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], your boyfriend was looking for you earlier.”

Me: “I don’t have a boyfriend.” 

Coworker: “Sure, you do.” *winks* 

(I have a bad gut feeling about this, so I remain on alert, and ten minutes later, the creepy customer comes in, coming up to me and ordering his usual.)

Customer: “When are you going to go out with me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t think this is appropriate. And would you please stop staring at me?” 

Customer: “Sorry, but you are so beautiful that I can’t help it.” 

(He starts making lewd jokes, and by now, my coworker has noticed, and so have a couple of customers sitting nearby.) 

Me: “Sir, I’ve asked you to stop. I’m not going to ask you again.” 

Customer: “Come on, you want me. If you didn’t, you would have kicked me out by now. Your boss and coworkers don’t mind.” 

Coworker: “Actually, I do. Sir, you are disturbing my coworker, me, and other customers. I regret telling you when she was supposed to come in. I’m sorry I didn’t realize how serious this was. Please leave, and don’t return, or the police will be called.”

(The customer leaves, grumbling, and the other customers, who are both men, come up and put money in the tip jar.) 

Customer #2: “If you hadn’t kicked him out, I would have. That was disturbing on so many levels.”

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