What Came First: The Chicken Or The Customer?

, , , | Right | March 18, 2019

(My coworker is taking orders for the drive-thru and a customer comes through.)

Coworker: “Welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “I want a chicken wrap.”

Coworker: “What wrap would you like?”

Customer: “A chicken wrap.”

Coworker: “What type of wrap would you like?”

Customer: “Chipotle chicken wrap.”

Coworker: “With the crispy chicken or the grilled?”

Customer: “Chipotle wrap.”

Coworker: *getting annoyed* “With the grilled or the crispy chicken?”

Customer: *mumbles something about potato wedges*

Coworker: *getting louder and more annoyed, though still maintaining a chipper customer service voice* “Would you like the grilled chicken or the crispy? I need to know what kind of chicken you would like to continue the order.”

Customer: “Also potato wedges.”

Coworker: *snapping* “Do you want the grilled or the crispy chicken, or I can decide for you?!”

Customer: *mumbles something* “Crispy.”

Coworker: *back to chipper voice* “Great! Crispy chicken. Would you like anything else?”

(The customer finishes their order without incident.)

Coworker: “All right, that will be [total] at the window.” *turns around to face me* “Oh, my God! Did anybody hear that?”

Me: “I just heard you kept talking about what chicken they wanted.”

Coworker: “That was infuriating.”

I’ll Have The Coffee But In Tea Size

, , | Right | March 15, 2019

(I work at a pretty popular coffee shop in my country. There is one day in particular where customers are not the brightest.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Do you sell coffee?”

Me: “Uh… yes. What size would you like?”

Customer: “Coffee.”

Me: “Uh, okay… We have small, medium, or large. Medium is our most popular size.”

Customer: “Coffee.”

Unfiltered Story #143659

, , | Unfiltered | March 14, 2019

(After serving a customer a chai latte, my shift supervisor and I spend several minutes waiting for more customers to come in when the young woman returns to the counter.)

Customer: Excuse me, my drink’s gone cold. Could you warm it up for me?

Me: Sure. (Turns to place the drink in the microwave.)

Customer: Can’t you steam it?

Me (bewildered at such a request): No, I can’t do that.

Customer: Why not?!

Me: Because you already drank from this. I can’t steam a used drink – that’s a health code violation.

(After I finish reheating the customer’s drink, she takes it, flips us off, and walks away.)

Unfiltered Story #142770

, | Unfiltered | March 7, 2019

(I’m working at a coffee shop. A man in his 60s comes in and I call out a greeting.)

Customer: Hello, you big gorgeous hunk o’ woman.

Me: *stares*

Unfiltered Story #142716

, | Unfiltered | March 5, 2019

(This is a small, locally owned coffee shop. A customer comes in with a couple of very energetic children who are excitedly jabbering back and forth to each other in a normal inside voice. The customer, their father and a regular, orders his drinks, pays and goes to wait with them, joining in their silly word game. A minute later another customer comes up to the bar to get their drink.)

Customer: “You need to kick those noisy brats out of here.”
Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but I can’t kick them out for talking. They’re really not being that loud.”
Customer: “And their father, encouraging his kids to talk in public. Disgraceful. You should ban him for that.”
Me: “Ma’am we don’t ban people for entertaining their kids and we don’t kick kids out for talking in a normal tone of voice.”
Customer: (Yelling at me) “Listen you little b****, I’m the owner’s wife and I’m telling you to ban them right f******* now!”
Me: “I can’t…”
Customer: “Don’t you dare open your f****** mouth to argue with me you b***! I’ll have your a** fired.”

(I flinch at the tirade and find myself unable to respond. At this point the father comes up behind her.)

Father: “[My name], get yourself a drink on me and go on break. I’ll handle this. If your boss says anything just say I’ll explain.”

(He turns to the customer as I nod dumbly and turn to make myself a drink.)

Father: “First of all, you don’t treat other human beings like that. If you had any decency I wouldn’t have to tell you that. Second, my kids are being much better behaved than you are. Third, you weren’t even at the owner’s wedding. I was.”

Customer: (Smugly as if calling a bluff) “If you were at the wedding where were you sitting?”

Father: “I was standing right next to her.”

(The customer keeps smiling smugly for a few seconds before realization hits her like a sledgehammer. Her smile falters then she pales visibly and runs from the store. The owner’s husband covered for me for about 10 minutes while I took a break. When I came back there was a $50 bill in the tip jar. He’d never admit to it, but I suspect he put it in there.)

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