You Know How To Push My Chocolate Buttons

, , , | Romantic | May 26, 2017

(My fiancé and I go to a well-known coffee chain before church, and we’re waiting in line. Somehow the discussion turns to chocolate.)

Fiancé: “So, my mum got us some chocolate for later on today. It has little rainbow bits in and I think it will be nice for us to have!”

Me: “Oh! Okay. I was gonna finish my chocolate buttons from last week.”

Fiancé: “Oh, right… I ate those.”

Me: “…you ate my chocolate buttons?”

Fiancé: “But we still have the rainbow choc—”

Me: “But you ate my chocolate buttons. I was looking forward to finishing them.”

Fiancé: “But we have this chocolate this afternoon so it’ll be fine.”

Me: *pouts* “You ate my chocolate buttons.”

Hello, And Goodbye, Thank God

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Right | May 19, 2017

(I used to work in a very busy coffee shop downtown. One day, when I am getting off my break and heading back for the till, I see one customer looking confused and standing at my closed till. Seeing as I still had to grab my apron and log on, I wave and give her a quick “Hello!” to show someone saw her and we aren’t ignoring her, as I run off to grab my apron.)

Me: *clocking back in and starting up register* “Hello—”

Customer: “Yeah, you’ve said ‘hello’ four times to me already. I’ll have a chocolate chip muffin. And without the attitude this time.”

(At that point, my goal is just to get her out of the store as fast as possible, seeing as she is clearly going to be a problem if offended by the word “hello.”)

Me: “And your change comes to… $2.70.”

Customer: “No. It should be $3.70.”

Me: “Oh, of course, I’m sorry. That’s my mistake. Let me get the correct change for—”

Customer: “Seriously? This is awful. I demand to speak to [Old Manager]. You should be fired for this.”

Me: “I don’t know who that is.”

Customer: “They’re the manager! You should know if you work here! I demand I get this for free!”

Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t give out free food coupons because we miscounted change.”

(She huffed out of the store, muttering about how she was never coming there again. Pretty sure a multi-billion dollar corporation isn’t missing out on her $3 purchases…)

Not Quite The Cream Of The Crop

| ON, Canada | Working | May 18, 2017

(A popular Canadian coffee chain has started making their new iced coffee. I’m from Boston, so I basically live on iced coffee and know exactly what I like. My dad is driving me from Toronto to Buffalo, where I’ll catch a domestic flight home. We stop for coffee before leaving the city. I order an iced coffee with cream and sugar. It’s WAY too sweet, so I give it to my dad and go back inside. I order another one with cream and no sugar, and somehow it’s still too sweet. I decide to drink it anyway, but when we stop for gas I run in and try a third time.)

Me: “Hi, can I have an iced coffee, just black, with sugar?”

Cashier: “…I’m sorry?”

Me: *repeats order*

Cashier: “I don’t understand. You don’t want the cream?”

Me: “No, black is fine.”

Cashier: “But… we put the cream in before the coffee.”

Me: “Okay…” *moment of silence while we stare at each other*

Cashier: “So, you want cream and sugar?”

Me: “No, no cream. Just sugar.”

Cashier: “I already told you, we put the cream in before the coffee.”

Me: “Okay, well… can you… not?”

Cashier: “Um… I guess? I’ll have to ask my manager.”

(She went off and actually asked her manager if it was okay to NOT put cream in my coffee. The manager basically looked at her like she’s an idiot, and told her ‘of course.’ She made my coffee with cream anyway.)

You’ve Been Black-Listed

| USA | Romantic | May 18, 2017

(I’m on a first date with someone I’ve only spoken with briefly before this. Things already aren’t going well when he notices a black man sitting nearby.)

Date: *quietly so the man doesn’t overhear* “I’m scared of black people. Not because I’m racist. Just because I’m white.”

(Awkward silence.)

Me: *waiting for him to say that was some very poorly thought out attempt at a joke or something*

Date: *completely serious*

Me: “But isn’t that pretty much the definition of racism?”

Date: “No, of course not! It’s just being practical. You see-” *launches into extremely racist diatribe*

(Unfortunately, I didn’t feel safe ending the date early due to some things he’d said earlier. I had to sit through his whole rant, along with the following two on “the illegals” and “the libtards.” Needless to say, I did not call him back or answer any of his calls.)

Should Have Left It Alone

| Canada | Right | May 16, 2017

(I overhear this while at a coffee shop with a friend.)

Cashier #1: ‘Sorry, but we only carry that one style. I understand you’re left-handed but it shouldn’t—”

Customer: “I’m not left-handed! Your cup is left-handed! I need a right-handed cup!”

Cashier #1: “Oh, I see. Well, that cup is the only style we carry so it should work with any hand.”

Customer: “No! It’s not right! I need a right-handed cup! I’m not left-handed. I can’t use a left-handed cup!”

Cashier #1: “Okay, well, it should work with both left and right hand—”

Customer: “But it doesn’t because it’s a left-handed cup and I need a right-handed cup!”

Cashier #2: “Do you need any help?”

Customer: “Yes! You sold me a left-handed cup and I’m right-handed! I need a right-handed cup.”

Cashier #2: “You can use that cup with any hand, sir.”

Customer: “No, you can’t! This is a left-handed cup! I need you to get me a right-handed cup.”

Cashier #2: “Okay, sure. But before that, can I see your cup?”

Customer: “Fine. Here. See? It’s a left-handed cup.”

Cashier #2: “Well, let me try… Well, it seems fine with my right hand.”

Customer: “But the handle is on my LEFT side!”

Cashier #2: “Well, let’s try turning the cup this way and try holding it now with your right hand. Is that okay, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah… That seems fine.”

Cashier #2: “Good. Is there anything else that I can help you with?”

Customer: “No, no. I’m good… Did you know this before?”

Cashier #1: “Yes, I knew.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I didn’t know you could use it with any hand, you see. I didn’t know.”

Cashier #2: “Yes, I see. Well, that’s okay. Now you know.”

Customer: “Right. But I didn’t know at first. I didn’t know you could just turn the cup around.”

Cashier #2: “Right. That’s okay. Is there anything else?”

Customer: “No, it’s okay. I’m good now. I just didn’t know that this cup worked with both right and left hands.”

Cashier #2: “Well, I’m glad we’ve helped you figure it out. Have a nice night.”

Customer: “Yeah, you, too. I just didn’t know you could use the cup that way.”

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