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Halfway To Nowhere

, , | Right | October 8, 2026

Me: “Hi, ma’am, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “Well, I’d just love half of that brownie right there?”

Me: “I’m sorry, would you like the brownie?”

Customer: “Well, I just only want half of it. I’m not super hungry, and I won’t eat it all, so I don’t want to pay for it all.”

Me: “Okay, but I can’t charge you half price for a perfectly good brownie because I can’t then sell the other half.”

Customer: “Well, I just want half of it, so I want to pay half.”

Me: “I can’t do that for you, ma’am; you could buy it and I’ll put half in a takeaway container so you can take that home?”

Customer: “No, I don’t like waste; I just want half.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t do that for you.”

Customer: “Well, I’ll just take my money and business elsewhere then!”

Me: “No worries, have a great day!”

Customer: “You just lost a sale!”

Me: “Half a sale!”

We Choose, You Lose

, , , , , , , , , , | Right | October 7, 2026

For background, our store had display-only boxes for certain high-theft items. The premise was simple: put them on the shelf, the customer takes it off the shelf, finds a staff member/bring it to the front cashier, and we ask the shift manager to check the back.

The drugstore I worked at had these boxes for oral care (i.e., electric toothbrushes and their heads, and in this story’s case, whitening strips). Each of those items had one or two things that made them different from each other, and so people would look for them. Otherwise, if it was on sale, people would try to ask us if they could buy it.

A customer comes up to me with a huge order. No biggie; we were really slow at the time anyway. I scan his stuff, bag it, and ask how he would like to pay.

Customer: “Actually, I need to buy some whitening strips.”

Me: “Oh. Okay, that’s fine.”

We stare at each other uncomfortably.

Me: “Did… did you take the display box from the shelf?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Oh, it wasn’t there?”

Customer: “Well, I thought you guys would’ve had it behind the counter.”

Me: “We, uh, don’t.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, you guys would know what I need.”

Me: “Uh, dude, we have a bunch of whitening strips, and they have different uses. I can ask the manager to bring up the ones we have, and you can—”

Customer: “No, can you guys grab an empty box from the shelf for me instead?”

Me: “I mean, what I said is easier and—”

Customer: “Nah, you’ll know which one I need.”

I am honestly baffled by this customer’s… well, actually, I can’t even think of the best way to describe this. I try radioing a stocker; unfortunately, he was too busy flirting with one of the cosmeticians (indicated by him looking at me from the perfume department and mockingly shaking his head at me). Annoyed, I decided just to embark on this customer’s quest to… find a fitting whitening strip for him?

In the aisle, I’m looking at the display boxes and wondering to myself just what possessed this customer to assume that we would know which one we needed when something caught my eye. It was our store brand’s whitening strips.

Now, the other brands were on sale, while the store brand wasn’t. However, the other brand’s prices were roughly $30 to $34, while the store brand’s were $35. Not that much of a price difference, but still a higher price for generic quality-especially since the strips that were on sale were the higher-quality ones.

It’s at this point I knew what to do.

Me: “[Shift Manager], come in?”

Shift Manager: “What’s up?”

Me: “Can you see if we have store brand whitening strips in the back, and if we do, bring a pack to the front counter?”

Shift Manager: “Store brand? Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, store brand, please. Also, can you check on [Stocker]; I radioed him earlier, and he hasn’t answered!”

Shift Manager: “Got it, I’ll meet you at the front.”

I head back to the front, where [Customer] was waiting.

Customer: “Is it coming?”

Me: “Sure is, he’s coming with them in a moment.”

No sooner had I said this, [Shift Manager] came up to me with a box of store-brand whitening strips. He handed them to me.

Shift Manager: “Here you go; luckily, we had a bunch in the back! Now if you’ll excuse me, I saw [Stocker] goofing off again and have something to ask of him.” *Turns to leave.*

I scan the whitening strips and throw them into a bag. At this point, [Customer] is looking at both the whitening strips and the price in confusion. He turns to me and is prepared to say something, but stops himself.

Me: “How would you like to pay today?”

The customer simply pays and leaves with his bags. He stops, takes his receipt and the whitening strips out, looks at both of them again, and slinks off in defeat.

I never saw the customer again, nor did I know if he ever bought any more whitening strips the more practical way, or if he returned the ones I figured would fit him. What I do know is that [Shift Manager] forced [Stocker] to stay in the perfume department, help any customer that came by, and put out the order of perfume and makeup that came in that day.

[Cosmetician], meanwhile, was mysteriously absent while [Stocker] was there, but always came back to cash out customers before disappearing again, to [Stocker]’s chagrin and [Cosmetician]’s and mine’s amusement.

No One’s Rage Quitting Just Yet

, , , , | Working | October 5, 2026

I had a boss with a flashfire temper; he’d blow up over something, and then he was fine. Once you got it used to it, it was no big deal. 

One day, though, the office manager called him on it, saying:

Office Manager: “Temper, temper!”

Boss: *Bellowing.* “What?! I don’t have a temper!”

Before I even knew I was going to say it, I chipped in:

Me: “Yeah, because you keep losing it.”

There was about five seconds of utter silence, followed by the entire office laughing, boss included. The boss bought me lunch that day to say thanks for the laugh.

The Scoop Comes Full Circle

, , , , , , , | Related | October 5, 2026

I think I got this from a TV show, but I told my girls that the ice cream truck only played music when it was out of ice cream…

One day my sister asked her nieces:

Sister: “Oh, I hear the ice cream truck! Who wants some ice cream?!”

My oldest daughter turned to my sister and told her in a corrective tone:

Daughter: “Aunt [Sister’s Name], everyone knows the trucks only play music when they’re all out of ice cream…”

The look on her face as she stared at me, realizing what I had done, was pretty classic.

A few years later, my sister had kids of her own, and this time it’s my turn to hear the ice cream truck and ask my niece and nephew:

Me: “Who wants some ice cream?!”

Niece: “Aunt [My Name], everyone knows that’s the fish truck. They don’t sell ice cream…”

I can imagine the look on my face as I stared at my sister was similar to how she looked back then…

Tag, You’re It

, , , | Right | CREDIT: glorifiedoctagon | October 5, 2026

I’m shopping in a very popular fast-fashion clothing store that has a brand-new self-checkout area where customers scan and pay for their items before removing the security tags with a magnet attached to the till. There’s a giant sign reading, “Please remove your security tags here,” along with thorough instructions explaining how to dispose of the two pieces in separate trash cans.

A woman and her two children use the self-checkout and walk through the exit.

The security alarm goes off three times, once for every bag they’re carrying.

The woman starts yelling at her children, then turns on the employees who rush over to see what’s happening. She begins pulling clothes out of her bags.

Every single item except the socks still has its security tag attached.

One saleswoman tentatively points toward the self-checkout.

Saleswoman: “You have to remove the tags yourself. It’s written right there. Do you see—”

Customer: “—The self-checkout is confusing! It’s misleading!”

The sign containing the instructions is enormous. The employees continue trying to explain this, but the woman is now having a full-on toddler tantrum.

Customer: “Now everyone thinks I’m a shoplifter! My poor children are crying because of this!”

By now, every customer waiting to check out is watching the scene. One employee is clearly fuming.

Employee: “They don’t think you’re a thief. It’s not our responsibility if you don’t read the very clear instructions. Let us help you with the tags so you can get on with your day.”

Silence.

Customer: “I CAN READ! YOU CAN’T ACCUSE ME OF BEING UNEDUCATED!”

She starts yanking at some of the tags while the employees remove the others.

She tears one of her new sweaters.

The whole situation ends with her storming out of the store, her children still bawling, and approximately €30 worth of brand-new clothing ruined immediately after she paid for it.