(Dish)Wash Your Hands Of This

, , , , | Working | March 21, 2018

(I apply for a dishwashing job. They call me for an interview. A guy that introduces himself as the manager greets me.)

Manager: “After this interview, you’ll have a second one and then a third. We’ll also need five references.”

Me: *knowing that this isn’t standard procedure* “Really? For a dishwasher?”

Manager: “Yes! We want to hire the best!

Me: “Okay, then.”

(I give him the references and the interview ends. Weeks go by and I hear no more of him, so I assume that he’s no long interested. I find another job. MONTHS later, he calls me.)

Manager: “Hellooo! How are you?”

Me: “I’m fine.”

Manager: “Well, I wanted to tell you that only four of your five references answered, so I’ll need another one.”

Me: “Really? You waited months to tell me?”

Manager: “Of course!”

Me: “…”

(I told him that I was no longer interested and he was speechless. Really, what did you expect after months went by? I guess he thought I’d be waiting by the phone for his call!)

Need To Turn It On? Copy That!

, , , | Working | March 21, 2018

(I work as a receptionist in a small company. Since the office space here is pretty small, the firms share some of the office equipment, including a copy machine that’s located right next to where I’m sitting. Each firm has their own code they need to input before they can start copying. It’s morning and I’m working away on my computer when I hear someone walking up to the copy machine. I ignore them, but then they start grunting aggressively, so I turn around and recognise one of the secretaries.)

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Secretary: “This machine isn’t working. The numbers aren’t showing up on the screen.”

Me: “Is it on? You’re the first to use it today.”

(She sheepishly looks at the side of the machine, face-palms, and presses the “ON” button. I turn back to my own work, but she speaks up again.)

Secretary: “It’s still not working. It shows dashes instead of numbers, and when I press the ‘start’ button, nothing happens.”

(I get up to look at the machine myself and immediately see what’s going on.)

Me: “You just forgot to use your code first.”

(Since I know all of the codes for work-related reasons, I quickly insert her firm’s.)

Me: “Here. Now you can use it.”

Secretary: “Oh, the numbers are back!”

(She then proceeds to put in the code I just inserted, and I barely manage to stop her from pressing “start.”)

Me: “Whoa, wait! I already unlocked it. You just nearly made over 700 copies.”

(She literally jumps back from the machine, then she hides her face in her hands, groaning.)

Secretary: “I shouldn’t have skipped my morning coffee.”

(We eventually managed to get the copies she needed. And after she got a late cup of coffee, her work quality increased drastically.)

Drilling That Fact Into Them

, , , , | Working | March 21, 2018

(I go to a major hardware store chain to buy a mechanism to lock my window in place when it’s open. While wandering the aisles, I’m approached by a male employee. I’m female.)

Employee: “Hi, is there anything I can help you with?”

Me: “Yeah, I need to buy the mechanism that will lock my window in place when it’s open. My window is on the fire escape and I heard those mechanisms are good for safety.”

Employee: “I know what you’re talking about. Here. I’ll show you where to find it.”

(He takes me to the aisle where they are sold and helps me select the right one.)

Employee: “You will need a drill to install this. Do you know someone who owns a drill?”

Me: “I own a drill.”

(Awkward silence from the employee.)

Employee: “Sorry about that.”

Me: “Nope, no problem. Thanks for helping me find this!”

(Not only do I own a drill set, but I happen to love installing things around my apartment!)

They’re In A Vegetative State

, , , , | Working | March 21, 2018

(A new coworker is starting on the cold buffet at our restaurant. Her team manager is giving her the first tour. He’s okay, and somewhat funny.)

Team Manager: “You know what this is?”

New Coworker: “Lettuce.”

Team Manager: “Nope, it’s cabbage.”

(He carries on with the tour, showing her the entire cold buffet, which also contains soups, sandwiches, salads, and vegetables. Then, they move on to the warm buffet.)

Team Manager: “This is where we do the stir-frying with bami, rice, and everything. People can choose their own vegetables. Oh, by the way… You know what this is?” *picks up a vegetable from the buffet*

New Coworker: “Lettuce.”

Team Manager: “No, it’s still cabbage.”

(She also described garlic as “those small onions,” and even asked what tomatoes were. She didn’t last long.)

Food Stamped With A Stigma Badge

, , , , , | Working | March 21, 2018

(I have recently applied for an EBT card, aka food stamps. While we are not nearly as bad off as some people, and I do work full-time, my significant other has been out of a job, and money has been extremely tight. I complete all my interviews, and I am told to drop off a signed letter describing my income to the local Assistance Office. I start off by talking to the front receptionist.)

Me: “Hi! My name is [My Name], and I was told to drop off this signed letter pertaining to my case.”

Receptionist: “It’ll be a four- to five-hour wait before you can speak with a case worker. Have a seat and wait for your name to be called.”

Me: “Well, I really don’t want to wait that long, and I don’t really need to speak to a worker; I just need to drop this letter off.”

Receptionist: “It will take twice as long to process that if you don’t speak with a worker today.”

Me: “That’s fine; I was prepared to wait before getting my card.”

Receptionist: *looking me up and down* “If you can afford to wait an extra three days, then clearly, you don’t need assistance. Why are you even bothering to be here? You’re wasting everyone’s time!”

Me: *not wanting to explain my whole situation to this lady* “Look: can’t you just process this paper? I’ve already had all my interviews. I’m sorry I don’t have an envelope.”

Receptionist: *snatching the letter from my hand* “If you can afford food for the week, you can afford an envelope. No wonder people like you can’t get good jobs; you don’t even know how to be professional.” *to the line behind me* “Next!”

Me: *pause* “Have a nice day.”

(I just don’t understand how people whose job is to help those less fortunate can be so rude!)

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