You Couldn’t Print This Up

, , , , , | Working | October 16, 2017

(I am working retail while going through school for computer science. Coming into work one day, however, I notice that the printer isn’t working, which means that I can’t print off the signs I need to print. Keep in mind I’m about 16 at the time.)

Me: “What happened?”

Boss: “The printer stopped working overnight. We phoned IT in earlier today. They took a look and said the parts are completely fried and it’ll need a full replacement.”

Me: “Really? It was working fine yesterday. Give me five minutes with it. I’ll see if I can fix it, and if I can’t I’ll leave it be.”

Boss: “Are you sure? You’re still learning, while IT has their certification.”

Me: “Of course, but it’s very easy to overlook something. Five minutes is all I ask.”

(She gives me the green light and I get to work. After some short troubleshooting, I find out that somebody has unplugged the cord connecting it to the computer. I plug it in, test, and sure enough, the printer is working just fine again, with no sign of damage.)

Me: “I found the problem. Somebody unplugged it.”

(My boss comes to the printer and looks. Sure enough, nothing matches how IT described it.)

Boss: *laughing* “All right, I’m going to have to phone IT and let them know that our printer is fine, and that our un-certified 16-year-old part-time employee fixed what they couldn’t.”

You Really Had To Travel To Get The Answer

, , , , , , , , | Working | October 16, 2017

(I have signed up for health insurance through my job a few months ago, and my new cards are starting to come in the mail for the new year. I receive one set that is confusing, so I call the numbers on the back of the card and in other parts of the paperwork to clarify what it is for. The numbers only lead to an automated system, and there is no number for a direct help line, but I decide to try the trick of repeatedly hitting the “wrong” button. That is, the options are 1, 2, or 3, and I repeatedly only hit 8. It takes a while, but I am finally transferred to a human operator.)

Operator: “Thank you for calling Work Services. How can I help you?”

Me: “Yes, I’ve just gotten my health cards in the mail, but I’m not sure what this particular card covers. I’ve made some changes since last year’s coverage and I don’t recognize this one, and the paperwork that came with it doesn’t make any sense.”

Operator: “What does the paperwork say?”

Me: “The paperwork says ‘Travel Card,’ but the card itself has symbols for medical and prescriptions on it, and the paperwork has instructions about logging in bus tickets and stuff.”

Operator: “Yes, that’s your travel card.”

Me: “But what does that mean?”

Operator: “What is the card number on the front?”

Me: *gives him the number*

Operator: “Okay, I’ve activated your card. Anything else I can do for you?”

Me: “What is the card for?

Operator: “It’s a travel card, so you use it to pay for prescriptions. It’s for travel expenses.”

Me: “Travel card or prescription card?”

Operator: “It’s a travel card. So, you use it to pay for the bus and your work reimburses you for the cost of getting to work.”

Me: “But I don’t take the bus.”

Operator: “Well, subway, train, whatever. You’ve received the public transportation coverage.”

Me: “I have never even heard of that, and I don’t take public transportation to get to work. Anyway, the paperwork and the card itself don’t match up, because the card has a medical symbol and a prescription symbol on it.”

Operator: “It’s a card to pay for prescriptions.”

Me: “You just said that it was for paying for the bus.”

Operator: “Okay, I’ll cancel it.”

Me: “I don’t even know what you are cancelling; is this a card for prescriptions or a card for the bus?”

Operator: “You didn’t sign up for the travel card, so I’m cancelling it.”

Me: “I don’t want you to cancel it if it’s for prescriptions.”

Operator: “I’m just going to cancel it.”

Me:Do not cancel it. If it’s for prescriptions and medical, I need it.”

Operator: “You signed up for the travel card?”

Me: “No.”

Operator: “I’m cancelling it.”

Me:Do not cancel it!

Operator: “I can cancel it.”

Me: “I want to talk to a supervisor, please.”

Operator: “I can just cancel it.”

Me: “Please get me someone who can explain what this card is for. I want to talk to a manager or something.”

Operator: “Okay, I’m cancelling your card.”

Me:Get me your supervisor, please!

Operator: “I’m going to cancel—“

(By this point I’ve pretty much lost my mind running in circles with this guy, and I’ve got the phone out at arm’s length and I’m just screaming.)

Me:SU-PER-VI-SOR! SU-PER-VI-SOR! SUPERVISOR! DO NOT CANCEL IT!

Operator: “Ugh, fine. I’ll put you on hold.”

(After ten minutes on hold the line picks up again.)

Operator: “Are you still there?”

Me: “Yes.”

Operator: “Oh. Did you want a supervisor?”

Me:Yes, please!

(Five minutes of hold later I am speaking to a woman.)

Supervisor: “Thank you for calling Work Services. I am [Supervisor]. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hello, I’ve just gotten a card in the mail with medical and prescription symbols on it, but the paperwork that came with it says ‘Travel Card,’ and I’m really confused.”

Supervisor: “Can I have the card number please?”

(I give her the number.)

Supervisor: “And can you describe the card exactly, just in case?”

Me: “It’s blue with an orange swoosh on it, with three symbols: a bandaid, a medical cross, and that snake and staff thing that hospitals have.”

Supervisor: “Okay, that is in fact your prescription and medical card which can be used for medications and copays, which matches with the information in our system as part of your coverage plan. The travel card would have been orange and red with a picture of a bus on it. And the system shows that it is activated and ready for use beginning January 1st. And you said that the paperwork that came with it was the travel card paperwork? That’s a mistake. I’m going to send you a fresh copy of the correct paperwork for the medical card. I can’t imagine how that happened.”

Me: “Envelope stuffers.”

Supervisor: “Haha, yep, probably.”

Me: “So, I have received the correct card, but not the correct paperwork.”

Supervisor: “Exactly. Does that help you?”

Me: “Absolutely! I appreciate it. So… he kept saying he was cancelling my card; it won’t get cancelled will it?”

Supervisor: “Oh, no! I’ll take care of it right away to make sure that doesn’t happen to you. I’ve got this. I’ll get the paperwork in the mail tonight or tomorrow, too. I’m going to take care of it.”

Me: “Your calls are recorded?”

Supervisor: “Yes.”

Me: “Awesome.”

(True to her word, I got the correct paperwork in the mail just a few days later, and no more hiccups. I hope that someone eventually hears the recording of the s***-storm of the first half of the conversation.)

Will Make You Want A Drink In The End

, , , , , , | Working | October 16, 2017

Me: “Hello. Could I have a [chicken burger] please? Just the burger.”

Cashier: “Would you like cheese?”

Me: “No, thanks. Just the plain burger.”

Cashier: “What drink would you like?”

Me: “No drink. Just the burger.”

Cashier: “You choose the drink from the machine there.”

Me: “I just want the burger.”

Cashier: “So, you want a bottle?”

Me: “No. Just the burger.”

Cashier: “Okay. That’s £6.30 please.”

Me: “The board says it’s £4.50.”

Cashier: “That’s for the burger on its own.”

Me: “That’s what I want. Just the burger.”

Cashier: “Just the burger?”

Me: “Yes.”

Cashier: “Do you want chips?”

Me: “No. Just the burger.”

Cashier: “Do you want a drink?”

Me: “Just the burger.”

Cashier: “Just the burger?”

Me: “Just the burger.”

Cashier: “That’s £4.50, then.”

Me: “Thank you very much.”

Your Days Working Here Are “Numbered”

, , , | Working | October 16, 2017

(I need to send a package to a friend who has just started university. The post office has to input the address details to generate a postage label. The address is in the format: Flat 123a, Building, 456 Anywhere Street, City, Postcode.)

Postal Clerk: “This address doesn’t work.”

Me: “Uh, sorry?”

Postal Clerk: “It has too many numbers.”

Me: “That’s the address, though.”

Postal Clerk: “But you can’t have a flat number AND a street number.”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you. That’s the address.”

Postal Clerk: “I’ll need to get the manager.”

(She explains the problem to the manager, rolling her eyes at me the whole time.)

Manager: “You do this.” *taps a few keys* “See?”

Postal Clerk: “But… there’s too many numbers!”

Manager: *to me* “That’s £2.85; thank you very much.”

(The clerk stood there glaring between me and the manager as I paid and got my proof of posting, and as I left I heard her say, “But there were TOO MANY NUMBERS!” I think that manager was in for a long day.)

My Relationship With This Bank Is Over(Draft)

, , , , | Working | October 16, 2017

(Due to a bank error, an incorrectly charged fee, I have an overdraft fee on my account. They reverse the incorrect fee they charged, but not the overdraft. I call to have that fixed.)

Employee: “Well, if you had more money, it wouldn’t have been an issue in the first place.”

(She eventually reversed it, but I still went in a few days later to close out the account. I’m not going to deal with a bank or its employees who seem to think overdraft fees for their errors are okay.)

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