I work in an internal tech support call center. When we’re talking with techs onsite, we often give them our email address in order for them to send us pictures of the equipment and the like. Our email addresses are the standard for most companies: “first name dot last name at [Company] dot com.” Both my first and last names are super simple — four letters each. Although my first name isn’t super common, I do share it with a very famous African American Jazz singer and actress.
Me: “I need you to send a picture to my email. I can give you that whenever you’re ready.”
Associate: “Okay… I’m ready.”
Me: “Okay, my email is Lxxx dot Hill at [Company] dot com.”
Associate: “Hold on, you went too fast.”
Me: “Sorry about that.”
I spell my name phonetically, slowly.
Me: “L-X-X-X dot H-I-L-L at [Company] dot com.”
Associate: “Okay, so you said ‘O’, right?”
Me: “What?! No, there is no O in my name.”
Associate: “Oh. Okay, so it’s O-I-L-L, right?”
Me: *Flustered* “No, there is no O in my name. It’s L, like in ‘lion’ or ‘lima’.
I spell my name phonetically again.
Associate: “Okay, so what’s the rest?”
Me: “Uh, it’s H-I-L-L at [Company] dot com.”
Associate: “That’s spelled B-I-L-L-H, right?”
The whole office is now laughing at this.
Me: “What?! No. My last name is spelled like Hill, like I walked over a hill.”
Associate: “I’m sorry, did you say ‘bridges’?”
Me: “No. No, I didn’t. I said ‘Hill’, H-I-L-L.”
Associate: “Well, that’s a weird last name. So, it’s B-H-I-L-L?”
Me: “No. It’s H as in ‘Hotel’, I-L-L. There is no B or O in my name.”
Associate: “You’ll have to forgive me; I’m not a part of this twentieth century. I’m kinda stuck in the nineteenth century.”
Me: *Mumbling* “We’re in the twenty-first century.”
Associate: “I think I got it! So, it’s L-X-X-X dot H-I-L-L at… What was the company name?”
Me: “Sir, we work at the same company, so it would be [Company].”
Associate: “Oh, that’s right. I just sent the email.”
Me: “Great! I’ll give it a second to show up in my inbox.”
Ten minutes later…
Me: “Did you ever send that picture? I still don’t see it.”
Associate: “No, I was waiting for you to tell me to send it.”
Me: *Deep breath* “Sir, please send me that picture. Without it, I won’t be much help.”
Associate: “Well, I can’t send it. I have no email.”
Me: *Pauses* “Sir, you have a company email, just like I do… You know what? Is there anyone else there that can send me the email?”
Associate: “I can check.” *Screaming* “ANYONE THERE?!”
This call went on for fifty-seven minutes. In the end, the picture that was finally sent to me wasn’t even of the same equipment type that I needed him to test.
