Jeepers, Creepers, Where’d You Get That Sketchbook

, , , , | Right | October 31, 2019

(I eat really fast and don’t chat incessantly as my family does at meals, so I bring my new sketchbook with me. We are in a booth and I sit in the corner with the sketchbook only facing me. Afterward, I forget to take my sketchbook with me but when I remember, I go back just in time to see [Waitress #1] handing my sketchbook to [Waitress #2], but it slips and falls open on the counter.)

Waitress #2: *screams*

Waitress #1: “What…” *sees sketchbook and jumps* “Oh… my.”

Waitress #2: *runs to the back*

Me: “Sorry, sorry, that’s mine! I’m really so sorry for the scare.”

(I had been drawing, in full color, bloody ripped out eyeballs and a bloody dripping heart held by a hand, and had started on a dude with his bloody intestines coming out of his body since it’s Halloween soon.)

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Just Shout “WRONG” To The Lefties And Hope It Sticks  

, , , , , , , | Working | October 18, 2019

(One of our designers brings his daughter in as an “intern” over spring break as she is studying art and he wants her to get some real-world experience. Ugh, right? But no, she is great and, even though she was foisted on me, we have a great time. One day, we are making some signs from start to finish: design, print, mount, cut. We are on the last step when I notice the resident mansplainer watching us. After a few minutes, he comes over and takes the straight edge from her.)

Mansplainer: “Here. You should put it this way.”

(He puts the ruler on the line she was cutting and moves back for her to cut it with the knife she had. The intern looks at me and I shrug, with a look on my face saying, “This is totally normal. Why don’t you humour him for both of our entertainment?” She steps in, holding the ruler, then crossing her cutting arm to the far side of it in a ridiculous position.)

Mansplainer: “No, no, no. Not that way.”

(He takes the knife from her and deftly cuts the line.)

Me: “Why don’t you try it her way? Then, you can understand what she’s doing wrong better.”

Mansplainer: “Yeah.”

(I nod encouragingly at her to line up the ruler.)

Mansplainer: “Not like that. That’s wrong.”

Me: “Wait. Wait. Just try it.”

Mansplainer: “No. That’s the wrong way. You women always do it the wrong way.”

Me: “You mean lefties.”

Mansplainer: “What?”

Me: “We’re not doing it the ‘women’s way,’ we’re doing it left-handed.”

(I wasn’t training her that way; she happens to be a lefty, too.)

Mansplainer: “You always do it wrong. You’ve done it wrong since you got here.”

Me: “Wrong for you.”

Mansplainer:Wrong.”

Me: “Okay, then. But we’re just going to keep doing this way because it works for us.”

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Unfiltered Story #172060

, , , | Unfiltered | October 17, 2019

I work in an art supply store, two of our common products are large sheets of paper and portfolios to carry them in. We have cardboard portfolios that are pretty cheap, ad we have much nicer ones that range from 20 – 70 dollars.
Today while standing by the registers, I witnessed this interaction.

Boy comes up to cashier with paper and portfolio that is around 50 dollars.

Customer: Do I have to buy this?(gestures towards portfolio)

Cashier: Yes?

Customer: Oh… well… what else can I get that is free to carry my paper in?

Cashier: Well I can give you a plastic bag.

My question is what else did he think was free?

Wouldn’t Believe It If It Wasn’t On Camera!

, , , , , , | Legal | September 25, 2019

(I manage a small art supply store in a college town. One day early in the semester, a young man comes in and asks for help in putting together a set of oil painting supplies as cheaply as possible. I go around the store with him for several minutes, adding things to his basket.)

Customer: *asking out of the blue* “Do you have security cameras?”

(I look around at the many “You’re on camera!” signs around the store, figuring he must be joking.)

Me: *chirpy voice* “That would be telling!”

Customer: “Oh.”

(He set down the basket and left the store. Nice to know some thieves are easily discouraged!)

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Not So Perfectly Done

, , , , , | Learning | September 9, 2019

In middle school, I had a terrible art teacher. She would do nothing other than screaming and insulting our drawings.

For the summer break, she gave us homework: a single drawing, but it had to be perfect. I wasn’t that good at the time, so I worked very hard on it and it took me the entire three months of break.

We came back to school and the moment came to show her our work. All she told me was that the drawing wasn’t good and that I had to do it all over again for the week after. 

Of course, I had no intention of doing the work of three months in one week — it would turn out even worse, anyway — so all I did was add some shading to it, but it was basically the same.

I showed it to her the week after and she gave me a B… after bragging about how she could tell if we put effort into our work or not.

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