That’s My Doodle And I’m Stick-Figuring To It

, , , | Learning | August 24, 2017

(I have gotten some comments from a teacher on a paper I am writing, and see the start of one above a word, so I write an email with a question about it.)

Me: “Above the word ‘stability’ you have made a small doodle which looks like it could be either a dancing stick-figure or a drunk swastika.”

Teacher: “What an imagination!”

Chalk And Cheesed Off

, , , , | Right | August 15, 2017

(I work as an associate for the art supply section of our store. We’re a small business in competition with a chain art store. We have this one regular who everyone in the store dislikes because she breaks art supplies and makes a mess of the displays. We can never make a fuss about her though, because she’s come in every single day this past month and has bought over $50 worth of supplies every day. One day she needed help with the chalk pastels.)

Regular: “Hi, do you know how to mix colors with chalk pastels? I’ve never used them before and I have a tough project to do.”

Me: “Certainly.”

(I show her how to mix colors with the sample pastels we have on the floor.)

Regular: “Cool! The people at [Chain Art Store] didn’t know how to do this! I tried mixing colors with their samples for the longest time and I couldn’t do it. You should have seen it. There were broken chalks everywhere and I totally made a mess of it… But now you showed me how!”

Me: “Just tell me if you need anything.”

(Internally, I’m screaming, because I know she’s going to do that to my display. I go up to the third floor to help train a new associate, and about two hours later I hear an odd call on the walkie.)

Coworker #1: “Uh, Art Supply? Can we have our window cleaner back on main?”

Coworker #2: “No… it’s going to be a while. I have a window cleaner emergency on the second floor.”

(I rush downstairs with the new associate to see what’s going on, and there is pastel chalk everywhere. There are broken bits of chalk on the floor. IT’S EVERYWHERE. My coworker has a mountain of paper towels behind her as she tries to clean up the mess.)

Me: “Did the regular leave?”

Coworker #2: “Yeah, like ten minutes ago… She bought $80 worth of chalk pastels and left this mess. I’ve been cleaning it up since she left!”

A Naked Business Proposal

, , , , , | Learning | August 13, 2017

We are watching the most recent episode of a business show in my marketing class, where investors nicknamed after certain large marine predators hear business proposals and invest in them.

The class watches for the first few minutes as a company that does wine and art classes sets up a demo on portrait painting for the investors. All of the sudden, a guy in a bathrobe walks in on screen. It becomes clear to the class that this is going to be nude painting.

My marketing teacher SPRINTS to his computer and quickly changes the episode. I’ve never laughed so hard in his class.

You’re Picassoooooo Beautiful

, , , | Friendly | July 24, 2017

(I have started a new module at university for my art degree. I am stood outside waiting for the lecture when a young woman approaches me.)

Woman: “Can I just say, you are absolutely beautiful.”

Me: “Oh, thank you.”

Woman: “So symmetrical! You look just like a Picasso painting!” *walks away*

(I don’t know if she was paying me a compliment and was just ignorant, or low key insulting me.)

Teacher Does Not Score A Perfect Ten

, , , , , , , | Learning | June 26, 2017

My art teacher in high school was a piece of work. He was a good artist, but he had a very narrow view of what constituted ‘art’ — anything even vaguely cartoon-ish didn’t count, for example. He also tended to play favorites. For a while I was one of the favorites, but something changed in my senior year and he started to get hyper-critical of my work.

That year I was in an AP art class, since I intended to go to college for illustration. Some of the assignments he gave us were insane, especially for a high school class, but the nadir of the class for me was an assignment where he wanted 12(!) finished pieces, all in different styles, in two weeks. That’s almost a piece a day, and insane when you consider we had all of our other classes to consider, too.

I worked my absolute hardest, and managed to come up with 10 pieces. Not all of them were very good, but what do you expect on that deadline? I got to the class to find that, in spite of my worries over being two pieces short, I actually had the most pieces out of everyone there. Most only had three or four, and a few only had one or two, though admittedly they were all higher quality than mine.

However, I did not get any kind of recognition from the teacher for all of my work. In fact, he continually picked up various pieces of mine and referred to them as ‘crap’ in comparison with my peers, and he didn’t even mention the 12-piece goal that I was the only person to come even close to hitting. By the end I was crying silently in the back of the critique group.

Thankfully, the whole spectacle was so ridiculous that my classmates — even the ones receiving positive feedback from him — stood up for me, and one of his ‘favorites’ spent most of the critique rubbing my back and telling me she was impressed that I managed to do as much as I had in so little time, and that the teacher was completely out of line for talking about my art the way he was. But I do attribute a lot of my anxiety with my art now to that class, and the way he moved the goalposts.

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