Doesn’t Quite Get The Prints-iple

, , , , | Right | March 22, 2019

(I’m busy working on a painting in the back of my art gallery when an older woman comes in. My painting area is obvious, in full view of the front, so anyone coming in can see what’s going on between the two extremely wide aisles. The woman is somewhat shabbily dressed, but I have no judgments because I’ve previously sold pieces to people in all kinds of clothes, clean or dirty. She’s looking at the paintings on the walls and after giving her a while to look around, as is customary, I walk towards the front to ask if she has any questions or needs help with anything. The woman does not look at me once during the following conversation. Zero eye contact.)

Me: “Welcome to [Name] gallery. Is there anything I can help with?”

Customer: “Not really, but these are very nice prints.”

Me: “Well, actually they’re original paintings, not prints. I do have a couple of print bins at the end of the middle aisle if you are looking for a print.”

Customer: “Well, they look like prints to me. I should know.”

Me: “No, they’re original paintings, all done with brush and paint.”

Customer: “Right.” *smiles sweetly* “Well, you don’t really know. You’re just an employee, after all.”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, I know for a fact because I own the gallery and those are my paintings you’re looking at.”

Customer: “Well, how would I know if they’re not reproductions and you’re just trying to rip people off?”

Me: *trying to be patient and educate her* “For one thing, if you look closely, there are built-up areas of paint in different spots. As well, I can show you the back of the painting if you’d like, so you can see where the paint is on the sides of the canvas and some is actually on the back as well. I only sell prints on paper, not canvas. My originals are always in frames. I never frame the prints, they’re always in the bins so it’s easy to flip through them.”

Customer: “Oh, only originals are in the frames. Okay.”

Me: “That’s right, but if you’re looking for prints, the print bins are at the end, just down there.”

Customer: “Hmm, no, I don’t want any prints. I only buy originals.”

(I watch her for a couple seconds more and then go back and keep working on the painting, but keep an eye on her. She never once goes to the bins to look at any of the prints or even glances my way while I’m obviously painting an original. As she’s leaving:)

Customer: “Well, thanks for the information. I really do like the prints you have up.”

Me: “… “

Keeping The Speech Light

, , , | Working | December 19, 2017

(I’m a stagehand setting up for a large musical. Some of the people working are very inexperienced. There’s a lull in the work. I’m sitting on a roadcase to get off my feet for a minute, and everyone has randomly arranged themselves into a semi circle facing me.)

Me: “I feel like I should make a speech! But I’m not going to.”

(They all stare at me expectantly.)

Me: “Okay! Let’s hang some lights! Do up safeties and pull shutters!”

A Small Voice: “Uh… what’s a shutter?”

Me: “Okay! I’m glad I made my speech. Let’s go do Light Anatomy 101.”

(I’m glad she asked!)

That’s My Doodle And I’m Stick-Figuring To It

, , , | Learning | August 24, 2017

(I have gotten some comments from a teacher on a paper I am writing, and see the start of one above a word, so I write an email with a question about it.)

Me: “Above the word ‘stability’ you have made a small doodle which looks like it could be either a dancing stick-figure or a drunk swastika.”

Teacher: “What an imagination!”

Chalk And Cheesed Off

, , , , | Right | August 15, 2017

(I work as an associate for the art supply section of our store. We’re a small business in competition with a chain art store. We have this one regular who everyone in the store dislikes because she breaks art supplies and makes a mess of the displays. We can never make a fuss about her though, because she’s come in every single day this past month and has bought over $50 worth of supplies every day. One day she needed help with the chalk pastels.)

Regular: “Hi, do you know how to mix colors with chalk pastels? I’ve never used them before and I have a tough project to do.”

Me: “Certainly.”

(I show her how to mix colors with the sample pastels we have on the floor.)

Regular: “Cool! The people at [Chain Art Store] didn’t know how to do this! I tried mixing colors with their samples for the longest time and I couldn’t do it. You should have seen it. There were broken chalks everywhere and I totally made a mess of it… But now you showed me how!”

Me: “Just tell me if you need anything.”

(Internally, I’m screaming, because I know she’s going to do that to my display. I go up to the third floor to help train a new associate, and about two hours later I hear an odd call on the walkie.)

Coworker #1: “Uh, Art Supply? Can we have our window cleaner back on main?”

Coworker #2: “No… it’s going to be a while. I have a window cleaner emergency on the second floor.”

(I rush downstairs with the new associate to see what’s going on, and there is pastel chalk everywhere. There are broken bits of chalk on the floor. IT’S EVERYWHERE. My coworker has a mountain of paper towels behind her as she tries to clean up the mess.)

Me: “Did the regular leave?”

Coworker #2: “Yeah, like ten minutes ago… She bought $80 worth of chalk pastels and left this mess. I’ve been cleaning it up since she left!”

A Naked Business Proposal

, , , , , | Learning | August 13, 2017

We are watching the most recent episode of a business show in my marketing class, where investors nicknamed after certain large marine predators hear business proposals and invest in them.

The class watches for the first few minutes as a company that does wine and art classes sets up a demo on portrait painting for the investors. All of the sudden, a guy in a bathrobe walks in on screen. It becomes clear to the class that this is going to be nude painting.

My marketing teacher SPRINTS to his computer and quickly changes the episode. I’ve never laughed so hard in his class.

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