I work for a major home goods company delivering and installing complex devices such as stoves and washing machines.

One time, we went to a house to set up a new stove. The homeowner was in the living room watching TV. He had a pistol on the nightstand next to his chair.

After my partner and I finished setting up the stove, as we were leaving, the homeowner pointed the gun at us and demanded we empty our wallets. We did.

We got back into the van and reported to our manager what had happened. We were told to wait outside the home. After a bit of a wait, the police showed up. We got our money back. The homeowner claimed it was “just a prank”.

When the police asked if we wanted to press charges, we said yes.

My family, my wife’s parents, her brother’s family, and I were treated to a trip to Disney World by my wife’s parents.

Unbeknownst to anyone in my family or on my wife’s side of the family, I’m spot-on for mimicking Mickey Mouse’s voice and I can do a pretty solid Donald Duck. I decided to take it upon myself to spread some joy and sorrow amongst people, young and old alike, while we were wandering the parks.

The costumed characters at the Disney parks are not allowed to talk. There are a few costumes with built-in speakers and phrases or words can be spoken by button presses — the Storm Troopers, for example. But most people have seen a cartoon or two and know what Mickey and Donald sound like.

As we got in lines for meeting characters — specifically Mickey and Donald — I would patiently wait until I saw that no one was looking in my direction and I would say a quick one-liner in the voice of Mickey or Donald.

People would swing their heads around looking to see where the voice came from, and little kids would scream with joy, “It’s MICKEY!” or, “It’s DONALD!” and they’d spin around looking for them. After a few moments of no one being able to locate the sound of the voice, everyone would go back to what they were doing. Even my kids, who were six and eleven, were excitedly looking for Mickey or Donald.

Watching the joy in people’s eyes as they heard the voices of these iconic characters was magical. You could see the joy on their faces and then watch it fade away.

My wife caught on to me doing the voices after I did it a few times, and she scolded me for my actions, but my kids thought it was funny when they found I could do these voices. They kept egging me on to do the voices to trick people. My daughter would nudge me as we walked behind families and tell me to talk like Mickey, so I’d oblige. The little kids in the family would strain their necks trying to look behind them to get a glimpse of Mickey, only to see some random guy with his family walking behind them. They’d look so confused and sad at the same time. It was awesome.

I’m not sure if that’s evil of me or not, but sometimes it’s the little things in life that make your day, and I didn’t lose any sleep over it.

I answer sort of the “official” phone of the company after the CEO. I don’t know if that matters. I only know I have been getting a lot of scam calls lately, but being “official”, I can’t refuse to answer unknown numbers. And I am fed up with them.

Scammer: “Hi. I am calling you from Microsoft Support. There is VIRUS on your computer.”

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling.”

Scammer: “You have virus on your computer, and I will tell you how to remove them. First, you need to—”

Me: “You do know that you have called an adult phone line? We charge $5.99 per minute. I am totally fine with talking to you, but I just need to make sure you understand the cost of this.”

Scammer: “What? I will not pay $5.99 per minute.”

Me: “You are still on the phone with me, and the meter is running.”

Scammer: *Panicky* “You cannot charge me $5.99 per minute!”

Me: “I am not charging you. Your phone company is adding it to the bill. You accepted this when you didn’t hang up after the initial message before you were connected to me. All our prices were explained there.”

Scammer: “I will not pay.” *Hangs up*

Five minutes later, the phone rings again.

Me: “Hello, [My Name] speaking.”

Scammer: “There was no message before I was connected to you. If you are charging $5.99 per minute now, you are scamming me!”

Me: “After I told you I was charging $5.99 and that this was a phone service for adults, you still called me back, and now you’re telling me that despite the fact that you now know we charge $5.99 per minute, you want to talk to me about not paying $5.99 per minute… for $5.99 per minute? So far, you have spent $33 on this. As I told you before, I can keep talking to you about the bill, or we can switch to something more like what my other customers want to talk about. What are you wearing now?”

Scammer: *Click*

I am male, and I work in the finance department of a software company.

Related:
Well, Well, Well, How The Turntables…, Part 2
Well, Well, Well, How The Turntables…

I work at the front desk at a clinic. I answer the phone, and it is an obvious (to me) scam, saying that the caller is from Apple and that our cloud data has been lost or stolen. I hang up, but after I do so, I think of a way to mess with the scammers and hope they call back. They do.

Scammer: “Hi. This is Apple calling to let you know that your cloud data has been lost. We need your login information immediately to retrieve it, or it will be gone forever!”

Me: “Oh, no!”

Scammer: “Yes, it is very important that you give us your login information so we can retrieve your data.”

Me: “My data is in clouds?”

Scammer: “Yes, your cloud data.”

Me: “How’d they get my data all the way up there? Do they put it in the chemtrails?”

Scammer: “…Ma’am?”

Me: “The chemtrails! In the sky! Is that how they put my data in the clouds? My manifesto about how the earth is flat and we’re being deceived by Reptilians at the top of the chains of power is up there! Did the government steal it?”

The scammer introduced me to curses I’d never heard before and hung up.

One night, my friends and I are prank-calling a famous televangelist’s donation line.

Friend: “Can I speak to [Televangelist’s First Name]?”

Operator: “Who?”

Friend: “[Televangelist’s Full Name].”

Operator: *Shocked* “Oh, no! No one is allowed to speak to him. I’m not even allowed to speak to him. Talking to [Televangelist] would be like talking to… talking to…”

Friend: “Talking to God?”

Operator: “No, like Dan Rather or someone.”