Lettuce Try That Again

, , , , , , | Right | January 11, 2018

(I’m the bad customer in this story. I am ordering a sandwich at a popular sub shop, where they make your sandwich in front of you.)

Employee: “Lettuce, tomato?”

Me: *looking at the green peppers and onions* “No, just green peppers and lettuce.”

(She grabs lettuce.)

Me: “No! Just green peppers and lettuce.”

Employee: “Yep.” *starts spreading the lettuce on my sandwich*

Me: *confused and frustrated* “No, I don’t want lettuce!” *finally realize my mistake* “Sorry! I meant green peppers and onions only. I don’t know why I kept saying lettuce when I meant onion.”

Employee: *look of panic and swipes the lettuce off the sandwich* “Is this all right?” *referring to the tiny pieces of lettuce left behind*

Me: “Of course, it was my mistake. I’m the one that kept telling you lettuce.”

Employee: “I’ve had other customers do the exact same thing as you, but make me remake the whole sandwich.”

Unfiltered Story #102064

, , , | Unfiltered | December 19, 2017

(I’m a clerk in an office, and my group is the support staff. We deal with outpatient paperwork on a daily basis. There are four of us. Sometimes we have to call providers requesting more information. When we do, we notate it in a log, or have them put our name on the fax cover sheet so we know who gets that paperwork. However, that doesn’t always happen. One of my coworkers (we call her DS – for DipShit) is as dense as a sack of hair and is constantly whining about having too much work (she has the same amount as everyone else), and will do anything to put off her pending work on someone else. She’s smart, knows how to do her job, and when the mood strikes her – she does it quite well. Her game is to play dumb – like she doesn’t know what she’s doing, and doesn’t pay attention until her name is said repeatedly, at which point she gets cranky.)
I’m stamping the incoming faxes and notice there is one sheet for a form that providers fill out, and send to my office. On the fax coversheet the provider has written “Here is the first page you asked for. Any questions, please call me.” the following takes place.
Me saying name of provider & client: “is anyone working on this?”

Coworker 1: “no.”

DS: “uh, no.”

Me: “DS – didn’t you make some phone calls this morning asking for more info from providers?”

DS: “I made a lot of phone calls. I don’t know.”

Me: “it’s (repeating provider & client names). You sure?”

DS: “is it (provider intern)?”

Me: “yes. Do you have that chart?”

DS: “well I got a phone call about something that they said.”

Me: “Do. You. Have. The. Chart?”

DS: “I don’t think so.”

Me: “please look.”

DS: “but I got a phone call – “

Me cutting her off mid-sentence: “you already said that.”

Coworker 3 (exasperated): “gimme the damn paper! You guys are like Abbott & Costello! Who’s On First?”

DS: “what? Someone called about it.”

Me: “oh my god.” (I go in my supervisor’s office so she can log it in, and DS follows me.)

DS (holding the client’s chart in her hand): “oh. Is this what you want?”

Me: “YES!”

DS (starts handing it to me): “well, here.”

Me: “No. I’m not working on it. YOU are. Here.” (I put it on the chart, and walk out of the office.)

DS: “but you wanted it.”

Me: “no I don’t. YOU’RE working on it.” (I walked back to my desk)

She wound up complaining to the supervisor about it, but to no avail. She had to do it. Along with all the other pending she has stacked on her desk. She really is a lazy sod.

Unfiltered Story #92623

, , , | Unfiltered | September 5, 2017

(I’m an apprentice with a construction company. During the final stages of a five-story building being put up, when the scaffolding is coming down [a rather treacherous process, which despite the best efforts of people involved, heavy boards/support framing/tools WILL be dropped] I’m tasked with keeping onlookers from getting too close to the building site, in addition to my other, more construction-focused duties. Mind you, there’s fences, barriers, caution tape, and warning signs ALL OVER THE PLACE in a 50-100 foot radius around the building, and somehow people still think it’s OK to just walk right up to the building; we get at LEAST one a day. This couple takes the cake for idiocy though…)

Couple: (Steps over caution tape and walks up to the south side of the building)

Me: “Hey folks, you can’t be here. This is an active construction site. Gonna need you to get over to the other side of the tape there (Gestures at the caution tape cordoning off the construction site).”

Man: “Oh, OK, Sorry.” (They walk off)

(I get back to work, thinking that’s the end of it. 20 minutes later I happen to glance up, and there’s that same couple on the EAST side of the building)

Me: “Hey, sorry if I wasn’t clear before, but I really need you to stay behind the tape over there (Gestures AGAIN at the caution tape cordoning off the construction site). You could get hurt.”

Man: “Sorry, sorry.” (They walk off again)

Me (to myself): “Geez, must be a language barrier or something…”

(I go back to work. Not 10 minutes later I hear one of the guys on the scaffolding removal crew yell out “HEADACHE!!!” [for those not familiar, that means, “I dropped something heavy, look out below!”] and look up to see a scaffolding board crash to earth mere FEET away from THE SAME DAMN COUPLE who are BACK ON THE SOUTH SIDE OF THE BUILDING)

Me (Racing over, now screaming at the top of my lungs): “CLEAR OUT!!! CLEAR THE F*** OUT!!! DO YOU HAVE A F***KING DEATH WISH?!”

(They both go white as sheets, turn on their heels, and Usain Bolt right the hell away from the building. It only occurs to me after the adrenaline wears off that I didn’t bother to put down my hammer when I was chasing them off, so it very likely looked like I was ready to bash their skulls in with it, especially if there *was* a language barrier… Sorry random couple, but for the love o’ whoever or whatever you pray to, DON’T CROSS THE DAMN CAUTION TAPE!!!)