I teach fourth grade. I’m trying to get my students familiar with the nations of the world.

Me: “[Student], please name a country.”

Student: “Oh, man…”

Me: “Correct.”

I am a cashier/order taker at a fast food restaurant and have been since I started college five years ago. I’ve also been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, which I find helps me deal with angry or moody customers, as I’m generally unaffected by any attitude they may have. Today, a seemingly normal older man enters and orders.
Man: I’d like a Reuben, medium drink, and onion rings. And senior discount.
Me: *as I punch in the order* We don’t have a senior discount, sir.
Man: *face contorts into the angriest glare I’ve ever seen* Yes, you do! I came in here last week and got it!
Me: *blinks in surprise, then hands him his drink cup* …No, you didn’t, sir. I’ve worked here for five years, and we’ve never had a senior discount. *reads back his order* And your total will be $11.03, today sir.
Man: *glare somehow gets angrier* That shouldn’t be more than $10! I got that price last week!
Me: …Well, there’s a change to up-size to a medium, and then an additional charge for the onion rings. And then tax on top of that. Some of our prices also went up recently.
Still glaring, he pays for his food and goes to eat in lobby. I passed him a few times as I was cleaning tables, and every time, he shot me the dirtiest, angriest look I’ve ever seen. Thankfully, he left without causing a fuss, but I can’t imagine what might have happened if he’d gone to one of the newer cashiers.

(My family and I are waiting to be seated at a restaurant on a July afternoon. This place has both indoor and outdoor seating. The outdoor seating is an open veranda that overlooks the vineyard. The hostess is a young-ish woman, perhaps a senior in high school or a freshman in college. A fifty-ish woman approaches the desk.)

Woman: “Excuse me, we have three for lunch.”

Hostess: “Would you prefer indoor or outdoor seating?”

Woman: *pauses for a moment* “Are there bugs outside?”

Hostess: “Well… it is outside.”

(We didn’t hear the rest over our giggles, but I wished I had given that hostess a high-five.)

(My debit card company puts a hold on my card every time I travel more than fifty miles. It starts to get ridiculous. I call their number.)

Me: “You’ve blocked my card again! What do I have to do to convince you that I drive around the state frequently and my charges are not fraudulent?”

Operator: “You’re based out of Missouri, correct?”

Me: “Yes.”

Operator: “Were you in a [Fast Food Restaurant] in San Jose, California yesterday?”

Me: “Um… no.”

Operator: “So, maybe we weren’t overreacting.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

We take customer phone numbers if they don’t have their store discount cards, this happened the other day while getting ready for a transaction.

Customer: XXX-XXX-XXXX
Me: (Repeats number, pronouncing the number 0 as ‘zero’ and not ‘oh’)
Customer: No, OH, not zero
Me: (blinking, confused) Yes, but it’s a zero though?
Customer: Well it’s PRONOUNCED OH, NOT ZERO, did you even attend grade school!?
Me: (apologizes, rings up customer, still blinking)