It’s All Two Much

, , , , , | Healthy | December 10, 2018

I come into the hospital, 39 weeks pregnant with a single baby, due to a sudden headache, high blood pressure, and vomiting. It’s determined I’ve developed severe preeclampsia and need to be induced today.

Just about three hours after being admitted, the baby has moved for the fourth time, making it difficult to accurately monitor her heart rate. The doctor decides to have a monitor placed in utero on the baby to get a consistent reading.

The nurses tasked with placing the monitor are gathered at my legs, talking amongst themselves, prepping for the procedure. I’m foggy from the medicine and not really paying attention when a nurse says, “Oh, there’s two.” After having a minor panic attack, I catch the nurse’s attention and it turns out they had two of the monitors, but after talking about irregular heartbeats I thought somehow a second baby had shown up.

Unfiltered Story #132289

, , , | Unfiltered | December 10, 2018

There is a local Hardware store that is notorious for associates being hard to find.  They wear a uniform with the same colors as our school colors.  It was a chilly day, so I was wearing my brand new school windbreaker while shopping with my Dad when this happened:

Guy 1: Hey kid, I need you to help me find the lawn bags.

I had just seen them on the other aisle, and not thinking anything about, showed him.

Guy 2: Do you know where the screws are?

Me: No, I don’t know where those are.

Guy 2: We can never find you people, then when we do, you aren’t helpful!

I thought it was weird, but shrugged, turned around (displaying my school name in big letters) and walked back to my Dad.

Guy 2: Oh geez kid, I’m sorry!  I thought you worked here.

It was funny, but I made sure to NEVER where my school colors in there again!

Obamacare Now Provides Free Phones

, , , , , , | Right | December 3, 2018

(I work for a major cell phone provider in the US. My store is a “store-within-a-store” partnered with another electronics chain. Our partner chain previously serviced multiple contract and prepaid providers Tracfone, Net 10, etc. When we came in, which was about two years ago, the company stopped selling any services besides our brand. From time to time we get someone looking for brands we no longer offer and we are supposed to offer them service.)

Customer: “This phone is a f****** piece of s***. I need a new one. What do you guys have on sale? I have an ‘Obama phone’ but it doesn’t have Internet. That d**k gives illegal immigrants health care but he can’t give citizens a phone with f****** Internet.”

Me: “Okay, are you currently on a contract or prepaid service?”

Customer: “I don’t have no contract. I want a new phone; this thing is junk.”

Me: “Okay, do you have [prepaid option #1] or [prepaid option #2]?”

Customer: “No, I have [Competitor]. I need a new phone; can’t a just buy one of these so you can put it on my number?”

Me: “Unfortunately, these phones are for [prepaid options] and won’t work on [Competitor]’s network. But we have holiday promotions going on right now for both prepaid and contract service if you bring your number in from another company.”

Customer: “Well, right now when my time runs out I have to get another card or my phone shuts off. It’s bull-s***. Do you have anything that won’t do that?”

Me: “Well, we have unlimited service without contract plans. I can run your credit and see what your elig—”

Customer: “I don’t want a f****** contract. They are scams. What is the other option?”

Me: “Well, on [prepaid option #1] you can get unlimited talk, text, and data for [price] a month. You just have to buy airtime every thirty days to keep your service. If you bring in your phone number you get [Phone] for free. You just have to buy the airtime.”

Customer: “How do I do that?”

Me: “You can pay here in store, over the phone, through an app, or sign up for auto-pay.”

Customer: “No way. I’m not giving you a**holes my credit card number. I don’t want to have to get a card to turn my service on. I already told you that.”

Me: “So… You don’t want a contract and you don’t want to buy airtime cards each month?”

Customer: “Yeah. How do I do that?”

Me: “Well, I don’t know of any service that offers an option other than contract or prepaid.”

Customer: “I just want it not to shut me off without having to get a card.”

Me: “Do you mean the Internet? You don’t want to have to renew service when you use all of your Internet?”

Customer: “Exactly. I don’t know why you didn’t understand. I don’t know why [Store] hired such a dumb b****!”

Me: *at this point I’m ignoring his insults because I don’t have the energy to ask him to leave* “Sir, I thought you understood that unlimited means there is no limit.”

Customer: “You didn’t say unlimited Internet!”

Me: “I’m sorry. That’s what I meant by unlimited data.”

Customer: “Well, you shouldn’t say that. Data is what the s*** on my f****** phone is called? How did you get this f****** job?”

Me: *still ignoring his insults* “So, would you like to start service today?”

Customer: “How much will it cost?”

Me: “[Amount] plus tax, if you bring in your number.”

Customer: “I thought you said it was free! You’re trying to rip me off.”

Me: “Unfortunately, the only thing free on the promotion is the device. You would have to pay for airtime.”

Customer: “Why can’t you just bill me later?”

Me: “You said you didn’t want contract service.”

Customer: “I don’t!”

(At this point I had to excuse myself for a moment and get a manager. He had to have the same conversation, while I rage-smoked two cigarettes.)

Me: “So, what’d you tell him?”

Manager: “That if he wanted free service he’d have to stick with the ‘Obama phone,’ because I don’t know anyone else giving away free cell phones and service!”

Complaining Right Out Of The Gate

, , , , , | Right | November 25, 2018

(I work at a well-known baby retailer. Guests can return items bought off of their registry. The item will come back at whatever price was paid for it by the gift giver. After returning a baby gate that was given to the customer at her baby shower, she walks over to me.)

Customer: “The price for the gate came back at $19.99; it’s a sixty-dollar gate. I don’t understand.”

(I know she returned it off of her baby registry, because I walked past as the transaction occurred.)

Me: “The prices come back at the price that was paid for it, not exactly the price that is listed. If you want, I can pull up an electronic receipt seeing why there is a huge price difference. Most likely, the gate was on sale or she had stackable coupons. Let me take a look.”

Customer: *looking very frustrated* “I don’t understand! It’s a sixty-dollar gate!”

(I pull up the receipt online, and it shows the gift giver purchased the gate not only on sale, but had multiple coupons that brought the gate down to the $19.99 price.)

Me: “Looks like she got a great deal here; she managed to use coupons and get a sale price. Were you looking to exchange the gate? Was something wrong with it?”

Customer: “I’m just going to purchase a new gate. I didn’t use the old one. Uh, thanks.”

(She walks off, seeming to understand how the system works. Thirty minutes later, she walks up to the service desk with an $89.99 gate.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous that I have to pay out of pocket for this gate. I should’ve gotten full price for the other one!”

(The cashier calls me over to see if I can fix the situation. At my store we have a “say yes to the guest” policy. No matter how wrong the guest is, or how outrageous the request, we’re obligated to make sure the guest leaves happy.)

Me: “I’m sorry this happened. Let me fix this in the computer so you can have an even exchange.”

(I then adjust the price so that even though there is a price difference, she will not pay out of pocket for anything.)

Customer: “You did not have to do that. That’s not what I wanted. It’s just ridiculous that I would’ve had to pay out of pocket. That doesn’t make sense; you should probably fix your system because I am not happy!” *storms out still mumbling*

(I later received an email from my district manager saying I had pissed off a guest enough to where she called customer service to file a complaint. She demanded compensation for her time and for dealing with “such stupidity.”)

Only Getting The Most Important Information

, , , , , , | Related | November 19, 2018

(My family is watching a movie. My teenage sister steps out for a while.)

Sister: “What did I miss?”

Mom: “[Character] was killed in battle, and [Brad Pitt’s character] went nuts. He stripped off his uniform, charged the enemy lines, and came back with a bunch of German scalps.”

Sister: *pause* “Brad Pitt was naked?

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