This Contract Is Full Of Donut Holes

, , , , | | Right | July 18, 2019

(The gym where I’m employed has a monthly fee and a smaller fee that’s automatically charged on the same day once a year. This fee is to help cover maintenance, new equipment, paint/tile upgrades, parking lot resurfacing, etc. I work at the front desk, and as this is my first year, this is my first time fielding questions regarding this charge. I have been dealing with dozens of phone calls and walk-ins from angry members for the past week when a regular member comes in carrying a box of donuts.)

Member: “I saw you all charged me a fee on top of my regular monthly fee last week.”

Me: *preparing for the worst* “Yes, ma’am, if you still have a copy of your contract you’ll see—“

Member: “Oh, I know, I read my contract after seeing the charge and found where it says you all need a yearly enhancement fee. I bet you’ve had to explain it to many angry people.”

Me: “You have no idea!”

Member: “Well, I was almost one of them until I read my contract again. I can only imagine what you all up front have had to go through with this. I thought these donuts might brighten your day, as well as the rest of the front desk crew.”

Me: “Wow! Thank you so much!”

Member: “No worries. Don’t let the bad ones get you down!”

(My faith in humanity and my club’s members was pretty much restored after that!)

That’s Not How Lounges Work; That’s Not How Any Of Them Work

, , , , | | Right | July 10, 2019

(I work for a widely-known credit card company. One of our cards is partnered with an airline. The card benefits include getting two free lounge tickets to access the club each year. However, if you do close the account permanently, the benefits on the card are no longer available to you. This customer doesn’t seem to realize this.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Company]. My name is [My Name]; may I have your name?”

(The customer gives me her name.)

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. How can I help you?”

Customer: “My lounge passes aren’t working.”

(I look up immediately at the top right of my screen where it shows the status of the account. It shows, “Account closed by [Card Member].” I think I am crazy, but I have to bring this up.)

Me: “I’m sorry the passes aren’t working, but I apologize. This account was closed out last week by you.”

Customer: “I know I did.”

(There is a long awkward silence, and I think she is going to say something else but she doesn’t.)

Me: “So… does that answer your question?”

Customer: “No, because my passes aren’t working. I have a six-hour layover and I need to get into the club.”

Me: “Again, I apologize. But you closed this account; that means the benefits are no longer accessible for you.”

Customer: “That doesn’t make sense. I’ve been a customer with you since the 90s, and you can’t just turn on my passes so I can go in?”

(At this point, I’m frustrated and slightly dumbfounded by how dumb this lady is.)

Me: “Ma’am, when you have an account with this card, the benefits are yours to you as often as you want. That’s why people pay this annual fee for it. However, if you cancel our services and stop paying the annual fee, the benefits are not available to you any longer.”

Customer: “I think that’s just poor customer service.”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, but the rules are the same with every business. We make money off of people using our cards.”

Customer: “Whatever, I hate you guys anyway. Will never use your sh**ty business again.”

(Before I could ask if there was anything else, she hung up. Thank God, too, because if I hung up she would’ve gotten a survey and left me with an all-ones rating.)

Unfiltered Story #157516

, , | | Unfiltered | July 9, 2019

I was at my register ringing people up, when I noticed a woman standing against the wall waiting to talk to someone.
Me: Can I help you with something, ma’am?
Woman: Yes, I’m here for an interview for 2:15 PM.

Our district manager was not in that day, so I was confused as he is the only one who does interviews, hiring, orientation etc. I grabbed my radio and called for my store manager.

Me: [Woman’s Name] says she’s here for an interview at 2:15. Is [District Manager] in today?
Store Manager: “No he’s not. You said she’s here for an interview??”
Me: “Yeah. She said she went online and filled out an application and it said to pick a time for yesterday or today and she picked today at 2:15.”

My store manager comes up to talk to the lady and as I see him approaching I tell the woman that he’ll help her and I go back to ringing. As she was leaving I realized a crucial component of our conversation…
We don’t have online applications.

After she left my store manager came over the radio.
Store Manager: “By the way, that woman from earlier was lying.”

It’s Okay, Students Don’t Read Newspapers, Anyway

, , , , | | Learning | July 8, 2019

(I work through graduate school at an on-campus coffee shop. Recently, the student-run newspaper did a story on me because I won a national customer service award through the company that runs on-campus dining at our school and hundreds of other campuses nationwide.)

Regular: “Oh! I saw you were in the student newspaper this week!”

Me: “Yeah? Is that out already?”

Regular: “I’ll show you!”

(She holds up a copy of the newspaper, which is delivered folded in half; above the fold, the biggest headline is, “[Neighborhood near campus] Rapist Still At Large.”)

Me: “Um, I don’t think that one’s about me.”

Regular: *noticing that the bottom half is facing her* “Oh! Sorry!”

(She flipped it over, and below the fold was the story about my customer service award and my picture!)

Is Your Cousin’s Mom Betty White?

, , , , , , | | Related | June 24, 2019

(A second cousin of mine told me this story. She’s renting a car.)

Agent: “What brings you to Missouri?”

Cousin: “I’m here to celebrate my mother’s 90th birthday.”

Agent: “In that case, why don’t you upgrade to a nicer car? Think how happy your mother would be if you took her for a ride.”

Cousin: “Thanks, but if my mom wanted to go for a ride, she’d have her boyfriend take her out in his convertible.”

(She wasn’t kidding.)

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