(I am 21, checking out at a popular women’s underwear store. As I am checking out:)
Employee #1: “Would you like to sign up for a [Brand] card today?”
(At this question I take a moment to contemplate opening up a credit card here since, granted, I shop here a lot and want to build credit. However, before I can answer [Employee #1], [Employee #2], who I guess has been listening, chimes in.)
Employee #2: “She can’t have one.”
Me: “Why not?”
Employee #2: “It’s a credit card, and you need to be 18 to have a credit card.”
Me: *pulling my credit card out of my wallet* “Like this one?”
(The rest of my transaction was done very quietly and awkwardly. I understand that I look young, but they could have asked if I was 18 or older instead of assuming.)
(My dad is colorblind. He asks me to help him make his bed one day, and as we’re making his bed, he starts talking about his sheets, which are a slightly dull green.)
Dad: “This is Egyptian cotton. The same stuff they made the pharaohs’ wrappings out of.”
Me: “Cool. When you’re done with it, I can make a mummy costume.”
Dad: “You’ll be the first gray mummy.”
Me: “Um… These are green.”
Dad: “What? Dang it. I bought them to match the comforter.”
Me: “The comforter is green, too.”
(My sister-in-law started this, and it was so much fun that I actually delayed putting my phone number on the “Do Not Call List.”)
Any Telemarketer: “Hello! I would like to talk to you about—“ *begins sales pitch*
Me: “But we have hardwood floors.”
Any Telemarketer: “But this isn’t about hardwood floors.”
Me: “But we have hardwood floors.”
Any Telemarketer: “But this isn’t about…”
Me: “But we have hardwood floors.”
(Lather, rinse, repeat, until they hang up.)
(I’m a teacher. The music teacher and I are unloading a bus in the morning when a grown woman gets off. This is not unusual; sometimes parents ride with their children when they’ve had behavioral issues on the bus. The woman goes to the edge of the parking lot and starts talking on a cell phone.)
Music Teacher: “Notice anything strange about that woman?”
Me: “No, what?”
Music Teacher: “She’s not on a cell phone.”
(I look again. She’s not on the phone. She’s just… talking. By this time, the kids are all in the building.)
Music Teacher: “I’m getting the principal.”
(The woman approached me and began talking. It became immediately obvious that she was not all there. She wandered off and the police were called. As it turns out, she was a mentally disturbed woman who had just randomly climbed on the bus that morning. The bus driver was a substitute and didn’t ask the woman her business. When the woman began ranting to the busload of children, the substitute driver didn’t radio for help or advice, but just went along on her route. When the woman got off at the end of the line, the driver didn’t inform anyone what had been going on. The driver no longer works for the district.)
(My brother works at a hardware store. A customer comes to his line with a pole)
Customer: How long is this pole?
Brother: I don’t know, let me check.
(My brother checks the tag)
Brother: Sorry sir, it doesn’t say.
(the man grumbles)
Customer: Fine. Scan it anyway.
(my brother scans it)
Brother: The total is [Total]
Customer: Can I get a veteran discount?
Brother: Sure, just show me your ID.
Customer: Oh, I don’t have that with me. I do have this though
(Customer shows my brother a piece of paper)
Customer: This states that I am a veteran.
(My brother has no idea what to do about this, so he calls his manager over to the line. The manager looks over the piece of paper.)
Manager: I’m sorry, sir, but this isn’t going to work.
(The customer slams his fists on the counter and mutters incoherently)
Brother: Do you still want the pole sir?
Customer: Yes.
(The customer pays for the pole.)
Customer: (as he is leaving, shouts) I will never come back to this store again!
