They Should Have Called Her Eve

, , , , , | Right | January 29, 2021

I receive a call from a dad who wants to add his daughter to his membership. 

Me: “I can certainly add her to your membership. I need her name, date of birth, and phone number.”

Dad: “Her name is [Daughter] and I can find her phone number on my cell right here, just a moment… It’s [number].”

Me: “Thanks, now I only need her date of birth and we’re all set.”

Dad: “Yeah… I don’t remember the exact date. I know her birthday is during winter… Uh, let me think… Yeah, it’s definitely in December. Hold on; I’ll ask my wife.”

I wait for a minute or so and he comes back. 

Dad: “It’s December 31st!”

Me: “Soo… New Year’s Eve?”

Dad: “Yeah, that’s it!”

It happens from time to time that people forget their children’s birthday, but how is it possible to forget when it’s on New Year’s Eve?

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NoReply Email Fail

, , , | Right | January 15, 2021

This particular customer has been emailing back and forth with several of my coworkers. He is disputing a charge to his credit card.

Customer: “I’ve emailed you over a month ago to cancel my subscription!”

I take over the case, and he sends me a copy of the email he sent. I take one look and immediately see what the problem is.

Me: “I can see from the information you have sent me that you sent your cancellation to an unmanned email address. This is an address that our system uses to automatically send confirmations and such to customers. Emails sent to this address do not reach our customer service centre.”

Customer: “And that’s my fault?!”

Yes. Yes, it is.

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There Is Non-Existent Room For Improvement

, , , , | Right | December 4, 2020

This happens when we are remodeling the third floor at our hotel. It is important to mention that, at this stage, all the rooms on this floor have no fabrics (e.g. linens, towels, curtains, etc.) and no locks on the doors. However, the beds and mattresses have already been installed.

A guest who is looking very tired and smelling quite a bit like last night’s alcohol comes down to check out.

Guest: “I want to check out, and I want to complain that I was woken up very early by a construction worker that suddenly walked into my room!”

I am a bit shocked.

Me: “I am terribly sorry to hear that! That certainly has never happened before! Please, what was your room number?”

Guest: “Number 310.”

Me: “Are you quite sure about that number, sir? The third floor is currently not in use; perhaps it was number 510?”

Guest: *Suddenly insulted*No! I was in 310! I would know my room number, don’t you think? I am not stupid!”

Me: “Of course, sir. Again, I apologize. I will have our hotel manager talk to the construction crew manager about their employee immediately since this is not supposed to happen. What was your last name, sir?”

Guest: “Mr. [Guest], and I am not after any compensation, but you really should speak to them.”

Me: “I will investigate the matter immediately, sir. Again, my apologies, and thank you for letting us know.”

I check our system and it shows that he was checked into room 512. But since his stay was already prepaid by his employer, I simply check him out and he leaves the lobby. A few minutes later, he comes back; he seems quite upset.

Guest: “I don’t have my wallet or my wedding ring!”

Me: “Oh, dear. I will have a housekeeper check your room immediately.”

Guest: “I bet that construction worker has stolen it!”

Me: “I am sure that is not the case. Do you want to wait here while we check?”

Guest: “No, I have some other things to do now but I will come back soon! You’d better find it! If you don’t find it, I will call the police!”

Me: “I am sure we will be able to locate your items, sir.”

The guest leaves again and a housekeeper immediately checks room 512 but finds nothing; in fact, the room seems unused. On a hunch, I ask her to check 310. What do we find there? Yes, his wallet and wedding ring are on the floor under the bed! This guy just slept a full night in a room with no curtains, no locks on the door, and no blankets or pillows on a bare mattress. He couldn’t even take a shower because there were no towels or soap dispensers installed yet. Presumably, he was too drunk to notice. And yes, we found out later that, indeed, a construction worker had entered the room to check some things. As you can imagine, he was terribly surprised to find a person there.

We managed to give the wallet and ring back to the guest and we explained what had happened. He left quite sheepishly, never to be seen again.

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The New iNfect

, , , , , | Right | September 18, 2020

In an effort to avoid the spread of anything contagious, my cell phone store doesn’t allow customers to touch any of the phones we have on display. This is printed on numerous signs around the phones, and the screensaver on each phone even has, “Please don’t touch,” running on each and every one of them. Even still, people grab the phones to try them or play with them all day long. We’ve had to tell adults to please stop touching them.

A woman picks up a display model.

Coworker: “Ma’am, please don’t touch the phones. We’re trying to avoid the spread of disease.”

Customer: “Oh, of course. I won’t.”

She put the phone down, and literally four seconds later, she picked up the next one. This is why we have to clean everything with disinfectant all day long.

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Boy, What A Charmer!

, , , , | Right | August 30, 2020

I work at a rather small dry cleaning place. A man comes in to pick up a suit with his young son. Usually, our customers’ children are too shy to talk to us.

Son: “Do you know how old I am?”

Me: *Taken aback* “No! How old are you?”

Son: “I’m four and a half years old.”

Me: “Wow. I’m twenty-one. I’m old!”

Son: *Thinking hard* “Yes.

I continue the transaction with the customer. 

Son: *To his father* “Dad, can I press the green button?”

Customer: “Of course you can!”

The customer puts in his card into the machine, and I go to type in the price, pressing the green button when I do.

Son: “But I wanted to press the green button!”

Me: “Oh, I am so sorry. You can do it now.”

He presses the green button, and two receipts come out, one for the customer and one for me. 

Me: *To the customer* “Would you like your receipt?”

Customer: “Yes, please!”

Son: “Daddy, can I have that piece of paper?”

Customer: “No, sorry, Daddy needs this one.”

Son: *To me* “Can I have that piece of paper?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I need this one. But I can print out another one for you.”

Son: “Yes, please!”

I print out another receipt for the little boy. This one is wider and longer than the one I gave his father. 

Me: “You’re getting a big one!”

I hand him the receipt. 

Son: “Ooooh! That is big!”

The customer thanks me and says goodbye as he leaves. They turn the corner when I hear:

Son: “Bye-bye!”

Me: “Bye!”

The boy comes running into the store again.

Son: “Bye! I’ll—” *starts thinking* “—see you tomorrow?”

Me: “No, you won’t, sweetie.”

Son: “No… I’ll see you some other day, then!”

Me: “Yes, you will! Definitely!”

Son: “See you then! Bye!”

After he left, I couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day. That little boy made my entire week!

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