I answer sort of the “official” phone of the company after the CEO. I don’t know if that matters. I only know I have been getting a lot of scam calls lately, but being “official”, I can’t refuse to answer unknown numbers. And I am fed up with them.

Scammer: “Hi. I am calling you from Microsoft Support. There is VIRUS on your computer.”

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling.”

Scammer: “You have virus on your computer, and I will tell you how to remove them. First, you need to—”

Me: “You do know that you have called an adult phone line? We charge $5.99 per minute. I am totally fine with talking to you, but I just need to make sure you understand the cost of this.”

Scammer: “What? I will not pay $5.99 per minute.”

Me: “You are still on the phone with me, and the meter is running.”

Scammer: *Panicky* “You cannot charge me $5.99 per minute!”

Me: “I am not charging you. Your phone company is adding it to the bill. You accepted this when you didn’t hang up after the initial message before you were connected to me. All our prices were explained there.”

Scammer: “I will not pay.” *Hangs up*

Five minutes later, the phone rings again.

Me: “Hello, [My Name] speaking.”

Scammer: “There was no message before I was connected to you. If you are charging $5.99 per minute now, you are scamming me!”

Me: “After I told you I was charging $5.99 and that this was a phone service for adults, you still called me back, and now you’re telling me that despite the fact that you now know we charge $5.99 per minute, you want to talk to me about not paying $5.99 per minute… for $5.99 per minute? So far, you have spent $33 on this. As I told you before, I can keep talking to you about the bill, or we can switch to something more like what my other customers want to talk about. What are you wearing now?”

Scammer: *Click*

I am male, and I work in the finance department of a software company.

Related:
Well, Well, Well, How The Turntables…, Part 2
Well, Well, Well, How The Turntables…

My daughter is twenty-two years old. She has autism and is diagnosed with Asperger’s. She’s high-functioning, but she has some tics which give her away. She gave me permission to share this story.

She’s trying to work on her social skills and become less sensitive about her surroundings, so she has joined a group on social media where they invite people out who might struggle with the great “outdoors”. During and after their outing, they discuss thoughts and bring out suggestions on how to improve and be more comfortable.

One day, they sit down at a café. There are more people around than usual. It’s more than my daughter can handle, and she starts stimming — rocking gently from side to side while folding and unfolding her hands. It’s a behavior she uses to help calm herself.

From nowhere, a couple of women approach, asking another member of the group what’s going on with “this”. The group leader speaks up, trying to be sensitive about his group.

Lead: “I’m not sure what you mean, miss.”

My daughter, however, doesn’t care what others think and wants these women gone.

Daughter: “I have Asperger’s. I don’t like crowds. I’m here with these people trying to work on this.”

The women speak to her with fake enthusiasm in their voices, with a tone usually used when talking to pets.

Women: “Oooooh. Okay, sweetie. Can we just ask you a quick question? Are you vaccinated?”

Having had this question asked before and knowing how this might turn out, my daughter is quick to respond.

Daughter: “Just recently! My idiot parents didn’t vaccinate me or my brother.” *Not true* “We both caught a neuro-comolious disease.” *Not a real thing* “That gave me autism and my brother ADHD.” *Not true* “We both got vaccinated once we moved out, but it’s too late now. We’re r****ded for life and it’s their fault!”

There’s nothing else said. The two women simply walk away with confused expressions. 

[Daughter] comes home and shares a little bit of this event. I give the group lead a quick call. With my daughter right next to me, I put him on speaker.

Not only does he fill in some extra details, but he happily praises my daughter for speaking more than usual and not getting worked up by the situation. He isn’t happy she lied, but he does support my daughter’s logic. 

Daughter: “I’ve been asked about vaccines a lot. If they can make things up, why can’t I? If I tell the truth, they lie to themselves. So, I thought next time, I would lie first.”

She’d had this planned out, even the name of the condition. She said she wouldn’t do it again, and for her routine and sanity, I agree. But I can’t help thinking to myself, “Why not?”

I was working in a quite large retail chain, and a customer approached me at the checkout. I scanned his products and asked if he needed a bag.

Customer: “Yes, a large one, please.”

Through this conversation, the shift leader was working the checkout next to me.

I gave the customer a bag and bagged his items as we are supposed to before he started the craziest rant I’ve ever heard.

What was it about? Plastic bags.

He said a lot, including that our bags couldn’t be used more than once (they could) and were hopeless as garbage bags (we use grocery and retail bags for garbage in Norway) because of their handles. It lasted maybe two minutes while the shift leader was helping another customer.

After the customer finally left, the other customer just sighed and looked at me in clear dismay over the Bag Professor.

Shift Leader: “Well done. That is the exact type of situation where you just say, ‘mhmm,’ until he goes away.”

I’m at the airport, trying to check in. As always, I use the check-in machine and intend to use the self-help bag drop because it’s faster than the manual check-in. For some reason, the machine doesn’t give me a baggage tag, so manual intervention is needed. There is always an attendant at the bag drop in case someone needs help, so I head over there and explain that I didn’t get a baggage tag.

Attendant: “You should try another machine.”

Me: “I did. It said the tag had already been printed.”

The attendant visibly and audibly sighs but gives no gesture in any direction.

Attendant: “Then you need to go to the check-in counter. “ 

Me: “Yes, and where is that?”

Attendant: “There are signs.”

I’m starting to think I may be missing something really obvious.

Me: “That I can see from here?”

Attendant: *Rolling her eyes* “You don’t need to see them from here; you will see them when you get there.”

I’m getting a bit fed up.

Me: “Well, I’m not here every day, unlike you.”

She frowns, lifts the world’s heaviest arm, and points in what, somewhat surprisingly, will turn out to be the right direction.

I’m really fed up at this time.

Me: “You don’t have to be quite so obvious about how stupid you think I am.”

She walked away. So did I, and after a brief wait and a pleasant exchange with the check-in person, my suitcase was tagged and sent on its merry way. 

Walking back toward security, I saw the attendant again, in what seemed to be a helpful interaction with someone. I have no idea what I did wrong.

One of our guests approaches the front desk.

Guest: “Hey, can you give me directions to [Shop]? I heard it was close by.”

Me: “Of course, sir. When you exit the hotel, turn to the left and continue straight on until you see the municipality office. [Shop] is located right next to it.”

Guest: “So, first to the left and then straight on?”

Me: “Yes, that is correct. Left and then just straight on until the municipality office.”

Guest: “Thank you!”

We can see the exit from the front desk, and I see the guest promptly turning to the right. Never in our conversation have I even said the word “right”. Sometime later, the same guest returns to the hotel.

Guest: “So, somehow I wasn’t able to find [Shop], and I really looked everywhere! Luckily, I found an alternative shop and I could buy what I needed. Bye, now!”

I wish this same scenario happened rarely, but it is, unfortunately, really common.