The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From The Government Spy Drone

I work at the front desk at a clinic. I answer the phone, and it is an obvious (to me) scam, saying that the caller is from Apple and that our cloud data has been lost or stolen. I hang up, but after I do so, I think of a way to mess with the scammers and hope they call back. They do.

Scammer: “Hi. This is Apple calling to let you know that your cloud data has been lost. We need your login information immediately to retrieve it, or it will be gone forever!”

Me: “Oh, no!”

Scammer: “Yes, it is very important that you give us your login information so we can retrieve your data.”

Me: “My data is in clouds?”

Scammer: “Yes, your cloud data.”

Me: “How’d they get my data all the way up there? Do they put it in the chemtrails?”

Scammer: “…Ma’am?”

Me: “The chemtrails! In the sky! Is that how they put my data in the clouds? My manifesto about how the earth is flat and we’re being deceived by Reptilians at the top of the chains of power is up there! Did the government steal it?”

The scammer introduced me to curses I’d never heard before and hung up.