Not Very Tolerant To Your Intolerance 

, , , , , | Related | December 11, 2019

(I’m home to celebrate my birthday and my mother asks me what I want for dinner. I ask her to make her homemade lasagna. I’m lactose intolerant and have been since I was very young. After dinner, I start feeling nauseous and my stomach is acting up.) 

Me: “Mom, did you use lactose-free sour cream today?”

Mom: “No, of course not. I made it with proper sour cream.”

Me: “And you didn’t think to warn me about it before dinner?”

Mom: “No, I assumed you knew that I would use that.”

Me: “Why wouldn’t I assume you would serve me something I’m actually able to eat on my birthday?”

Mom: *shrugs and walks away*

(Had she just warned me before, I could have taken medicine before eating and everything would have been fine. Instead, I spent my birthday in pain and running to the toilet. Thanks, Mom.)

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We’re Not Borrowing Your Identity

, , | Right | December 9, 2019

(I work as an extra in a pretty small library. The two regular librarians know all the regular customers by name. This results in people not using their library cards, since the regular librarians just look up their names when they approach the counter. I am new and don’t know anybody, so this is just one example of what I experience every day for the first months of working.)

Me: “Hello, how are you?”

Customer: *grunts an answer and slams some books rudely on the counter*

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: *grunts, looks at the books, and looks at me*

Me: “Do you want to check the books out or are you returning them?”

Customer: “I want to borrow them! Isn’t it obvious?”

Me: “I’m sorry. Do you have your library card?”

Customer: “NO!”

Me: “Oh, okay, have you lost it? I can give you a new one.”

Customer: “Of course I have one, but I don’t have it on me. I never have to use it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m new here and I’ve been told to ask for the cards. I can look you up by name if you have an ID.”

Customer: *gets annoyed but pulls out a wallet and throws an ID at me*

Me: “Thank you. Here are your books and your ID back.”

Customer: “I never have to ID myself! You should know me! Everybody knows me here.”

Me: “I apologize, but as I said, I’m new here and I don’t know any of you regulars here.”

Customer: “Well, you should!” *leaves in a huff*

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The Daddy Of Bad Job Interviews

, , , , | Working | November 27, 2019

(My coworker and I are working at our local convenience store and are preparing to close for the night, as it’s almost 11:00 pm. A while ago, we were hiring some help, but we’ve already hired one. Two regulars, a man and a girl I recognize, come in. She is notoriously timid and never looks at us, does not respond, and looks fourteen. The man, her father, comes up with her, quiet and in tow, to my coworker at the register.)

Father: “Well, hi there. I heard a whisper that you’re hiring?”

Coworker: “Yeah, we were last month, but—”

Father: *interrupting* “Great! My daughter here…” *gestures towards the girl who is just standing there* “…is very interested!”

(He then proceeds on a loooong, awkward story of how her studies just didn’t fit and she now is ready for us! All this is without letting us say that, no, we are not really hiring anymore.)

Father: “She is ready to start tomorrow!”

Coworker: “Um… how old are you? 

(My coworker is directing the question to HER, as it’s apparent she is the one applying with papers in hand. Her father does not let her answer.)

Father: “19!”

(I already know she’s not a good fit for this job, as her dad applying and doing all the talking is not a good impression.)

Me: “I can just take those papers and place them in the office.”

(She barely looks at me as I take her resume. Her father, obviously not liking that, looks at me and then around me.)

Father: “I’ll just talk to the boss. Where is he?”

Me: “Oh, he’s not here; he went home at three.”

Father: *genuinely surprised* “Oh… Well, give me his number and I’ll introduce myself.”

(Yes, he said himself, not the daughter. I walk away due to the sheer awkwardness and later come back to my coworker.)

Coworker & Me: *in unison* “Yeah, no… Not happening.”

(I’m truly sorry for the girl but if you want a job, try not to bring your overbearing father… and maybe introduce yourself. Or say anything at all. That would be a great start.)

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Imagine What She Could Do With Ten?

, , | Right | November 21, 2019

(I am working as a bouncer for one of the few bars we have in town. One day around closing, I’m talking to a rather drunk girl.)

Me: “It’s nine minutes until closing. Maybe it’s time to go home?”

Drunk Girl: “Oh, no! There’s a lot that can be done in nine minutes, honey!”

Me: *speechless*

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Has Both Luggage And Racist Baggage

, , , | Right | November 19, 2019

(I work in a shop at the airport. Every half-hour, a message about not leaving your luggage unattended is broadcast over the speakers. I have one customer who asks if we can charge up her phone before her plane boards and we agree. She stands to the side of the shop, looking at the gate and us, when she suddenly whips off her backpack and say that she’ll be right back. We are tired of people doing this by this point. When she finally gets back, my colleague talks to her.)

Colleague: “You can’t walk away from your luggage like that; it is strictly forbidden in all airports in this country.”

Customer: “What’s the problem?! You already had my phone so I thought it would be fine.”

Colleague: “It is a matter of security. I was about to call security to take the backpack away from here.”

Customer: “Why would you do that?! You knew it was mine!”

Colleague: “Well, I don’t know you. For all I know, you could be a terrorist setting up a bomb in the busiest shop at this airport.”

Customer: “I can’t be a terrorist! I’m white!”

(My colleague and I were both shocked over this comment and just gave her back her belongings.)

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