I work at a pet shop in a mall.

Customer: “Do you sell soap bubbles?”

I think about soap bubbles with catnip for cats.

Me: “For cats?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Soap bubbles for cats?”

Customer: “No!”

The customer is full-out laughing, almost grabbing her stomach and bending over.

Me: “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to find a store that is not a pet store. We only sell equipment for cats, dogs, and animals.”

The woman was stunned, stopped laughing, and just stood there looking at me before leaving. 

I feel bad for the way I answered her — that wasn’t good customer service at all — but I was so fed up with all the customers coming to ask for products that would never be sold in our type of store. We do actually have soap bubbles with catnip for cats, but she didn’t have to laugh at me like that.

I work customer service for a major newspaper in my country, helping customers with their newspaper subscriptions. An elderly woman calls in. She sounds quite sad but she’s perfectly pleasant throughout the entire conversation. 

Customer: “I didn’t get my newspaper today.”

Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that. Is this at [address]?”

Customer: “Yes, it is.”

Me: “I see here that you have a subscription that includes delivery Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.”

Customer: “Yes, and it wasn’t on my doormat today.”

Me: “But… it’s Monday.”

Customer: *After a pause* “Oh, you have got to be kidding me. I’m so sorry!”

Me: *Laughing* “It’s perfectly fine. It’s clearly a proper Monday!”

Customer: *Also laughing* “You’re absolutely right! I’m really sorry!”

I work as a tire fitter. I’m a bit tired (pun intended) today, so instead of going into the shop to use our computer program to send a text message to customers looking for quotes, I take up my work phone and send a text message to let a customer know the work is done. I normally don’t do this, because then the customers get my direct number, and I don’t always have the time to answer the phone.

Not many minutes after I sent the text, my phone rings.

Caller: “I just received a text from you saying my tires are done and ready to be picked up.”

Me: “Yes, that’s right.”

I confirm the details with him. As we talk, I realise this is not the customer I was expecting. I sent the text to the wrong number; I managed to press the last digit as an eight when it was supposed to be nine. I have messaged someone who, by sheer coincidence, was also waiting for a quote for tire work.

Caller: “Since I already have you on the line, my winter tires are worn out and I need new ones. Could you give me a price offer?”

Me: *Surprised* “No problem, give me a minute to get to my computer. Where in the country are you so I can send the offer for tires to a department close to you?”

Caller: “I live [ten minutes from my location].”

I’m stunned! In Norway, we don’t have area codes or anything like that; I could just as easily have sent the message to someone on the other end of the country, but of the 5.3 million people that live in Norway, I managed to send the message to someone living ten minutes away!

I ended up selling him a set of our best tires.

He told me he had been really confused by my message since it was so accurate, because he also had a flat tire that he needed fixing.

Even their names were similar.

I receive a call from a dad who wants to add his daughter to his membership. 

Me: “I can certainly add her to your membership. I need her name, date of birth, and phone number.”

Dad: “Her name is [Daughter] and I can find her phone number on my cell right here, just a moment… It’s [number].”

Me: “Thanks, now I only need her date of birth and we’re all set.”

Dad: “Yeah… I don’t remember the exact date. I know her birthday is during winter… Uh, let me think… Yeah, it’s definitely in December. Hold on; I’ll ask my wife.”

I wait for a minute or so and he comes back. 

Dad: “It’s December 31st!”

Me: “Soo… New Year’s Eve?”

Dad: “Yeah, that’s it!”

It happens from time to time that people forget their children’s birthday, but how is it possible to forget when it’s on New Year’s Eve?

This particular customer has been emailing back and forth with several of my coworkers. He is disputing a charge to his credit card.

Customer: “I’ve emailed you over a month ago to cancel my subscription!”

I take over the case, and he sends me a copy of the email he sent. I take one look and immediately see what the problem is.

Me: “I can see from the information you have sent me that you sent your cancellation to an unmanned email address. This is an address that our system uses to automatically send confirmations and such to customers. Emails sent to this address do not reach our customer service centre.”

Customer: “And that’s my fault?!”

Yes. Yes, it is.