Out Of Line Behavior Is Sadly In Line

, , , , | Friendly | August 2, 2018

(I’m sick of people cutting in line, and if someone tries to get ahead of me, I will say something to them. I’m standing in line at the airport to get through passport control. There’s only one flight at the time that has to go through here, so everyone is obviously getting on the same flight. There are two girls, about 20 to 25, who decide to try to cut in front of me, instead of getting in the back of the line. There are only about six people behind me. So, of course, I don’t let them cut in front of me, and I say something.)

Me: “You do know that there’s a line, right?”

(It doesn’t look like they counted on someone outing them, and they look taken aback. [Girl #1] also looks irritated.)

Girl #1: “What? Well, we’re all going the same place, so what does it matter?”

Me: “Well, as you said, since we’re all going the same place, what does it matter if you go to the back of the line?”

(I turn away from them.)

Girl #1: “Geez, fine. I’ll let you get ahead of me.”

(I look at them, as if they’re stupid.)

Me: “Yeah, of course. I was here before you and didn’t cut anyone off.”

(They just rolled their eyes, and tried to get behind me. No one would let them cut in front of them, and they ended up having to get in the back of the line. By now, ten more people had arrived to get through passport control, so if they had just gotten in line at once, they would’ve gotten through quicker. Moral of the story? Don’t cut the line.)

Why Don’t You Just Go Look Under A Bridge?

, , , | Right | July 12, 2018

(I work in a bookstore in Norway.)

Tourist: “Can you show us your books on the Norwegian trolls, please?”

Colleague: “Yes, of course!” *finds several illustrated children’s books*

Tourist: “No, no! Not children’s books. We want books with photos of the real trolls, in their natural environment!”

Colleague: “…”

Initially Brilliant

, , , , | Healthy | July 7, 2018

(A close friend of mine is visiting me for dinner. She has leukemia, but is in remission at this point. It should probably be noted that we share a pretty dark sense of humor, which is how we both cope with her illness.)

Me: “What have you been doing lately?”

Friend: “I had tests at [Only Major Hospital in the area] this week.”

Me: “Oh, that sucks. I was there with mom when she had tests done a few years back, and the wait was horrible. There’s always so many people!”

Friend: “Oh, I got seen pretty quickly.”

Me: “Did you get there early, or was it good timing?”

Friend: “No, I just put [Initials] in the top corner of the admission forms, and they took me right in.”

Me: “What do they mean?”

Friend: “It’s the shorthand code for ‘to be seen immediately.’ My doctors used it all the time. I just put it in myself, now.”

Me: *laughing* “I knew you were wicked! You’re skipping the line in the hospital?”

Friend: *also laughing* “Hey, I have cancer! And also better things to do with my time than wait in line.”

(Unfortunately, her cancer returned, twice, and she lost the battle against it several years ago. But stories like this one still make me laugh when I tell people about her.)

They’re On A Complaining (Toilet) Roll

, , , | Right | June 12, 2018

(I get a telephone call from reception about a guest who has already been to four rooms and was not happy with any of them. She finally gets upgraded to a business room, which is half the size of our other standard rooms. She is being a pain and starts hunting around the room, looking for anything to pull us up on.)

Guest: “What’s this?”

Me: “Toilet paper?”

Guest: “It’s been used!”

Me: “We don’t replace a toilet roll unless it’s less than half used.”

Guest: “This is illegal! You have to replace with every guest! I should call the health department!”

Me: “It doesn’t say that anywhere in the health and hygiene rules.”

Guest: “Yes, it does!”

Me: “I will replace it, if you’d like.”

(She has already given me a list of things she “needs” and things to do. She is traveling with her husband and daughter. All the other rooms she checked have three full-sized beds. This room has one double-bed and room for a tiny fold-out.)

Guest: “We’re going out for dinner. Will it be safe to leave our luggage with you? You won’t steal it, will you?!”

Me: *stares in disbelief* “Of course not!”

Guest: “No need to take that tone!”

(She walked out and went to dinner. I told the reception that after I was finished there that I was refusing that guest service. They didn’t argue.)

Unfiltered Story #113839

, | | Unfiltered | June 4, 2018

I am a very young voluntary at a cafe for youth. I am only thirteen, and its my fourth month there. Although the cafe is to prevent kids from alcohol, drugs and problems at home,  there is almost once a week adults, who are drunk, or on drugs that is extremely rude to the staff. (note: i’m the youngest worker there) It’s a quiet night with no custumers. A man which is obviously drunk comes into the shop and yells in a cheerful tone:

Customer: One apple juce on the rocks!

Me: I’m sorry sir but we don’t have ice.

customer: What F****** kind of bar don’t have ice?!

Me: Actually sir, we are a cafe for youth to keep them out of drugs and alcohol, not a bar.

Customer: Are you getting smart with me?!
(he says all of this in a very drousy tone)

Me: No sir, i was just saying that…

Customer: I need a margarita!

Me: i’m sorry sir, but we don’t serve alcohol here.

Customer: Well that’s too bad! *wanders off*

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