They Need To Switch Positions

, , , | Right | February 26, 2020

I work the evening shift at a hotel in the housekeeping department. I generally run around with towels, shampoo, etc., for guests. This evening, I get a call from the reception saying that some guests can’t get the bathroom lights turned on. I knock on the guest’s door.

Guest:
“Finally! It’s broken! I’ve tried everything, and I can’t get the lights to work!”

Me:
“Okay, may I come in and have a look?”

Guest:
“Come on, come on.”

We use a card in a main switch by the door which turns everything on. The card is in the switch and other lights are on in the room. 

Me:
“You’ve tried the light switch, yeah? Is it broken?”

Guest:
“What light switch? I already put the card in the door; what else could it be?!”

Me:
“Umm, there’s a light switch just there.”

I point towards the light switch.

Guest: “Where?!”
I lean forward with my arm raised out straight. The guest is standing not two centimetres from the switch and I lean forward and turn it on. The light in the bathroom comes on. 

Me:
“This switch.”

Guest:
*Clearly embarrassed* “Well, they should mark them better! You can leave now!”

It was the only switch on the wall in the entire room.

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Time We Didn’t Have, And It’s Still Wasted

, , | Working | February 21, 2020

(I’m visiting my parents for the summer. My father is away for the weekend, and I’m busy writing a text for my mother while she’s doing laundry. Her phone rings. Naturally, I answer it.)

Me: “Hello, [Mom]’s phone, [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: “Hello, this is [Caller] from [Electrical Company] working with [some sort of organization/cause]. Maybe you’ve heard of us?”

Me: “Can’t say that I have. Either way, I have nothing to do with the services, and the—”

Caller: “Oh, is that covered in the lease, maybe?”

Me: “My parents are homeowners, but that’s beside the point. My father deals with these kinds of things, and he is currently unavailable. However, I’m sure he’d tell you we are very happy with our services; otherwise, he would’ve changed them already.”

Caller: “Oh. Well, thank you for the time you didn’t have.”

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Unfiltered Story #185624

, | Unfiltered | February 11, 2020

( I work as a veterinary nurse, and one of my tasks is to sell food and other stuff to customers or take payment for appointments. A lady walks up to the reception with a bag of dog treats. )

Her: ´ Is this an organ or is it just meat? ´

Me: ´It´s an organ. ´

Her: *with a skeptical ¨do i want to know¨ look* ¨ uhm, which organ is it?¨

Me: ´uh, it´s the penis´

Her: ´oh.. okay´

(Her husband walks up to her)

Her to her husband: `You were rigth, it´s ox penis!´

Unfiltered Story #185272

, , | Unfiltered | February 10, 2020

Our store accepts returns within thirty days if you have your receipt and the merchandise is in the original packaging. If you’re a store member you have 365 days to return the merchandise. If someone doesn’t have the receipt we can only give store credit. 

We have a parking lot where you can park if you’re inside our store, but only for two hours. There’s a mall right beside us, and we have someone working our parking lot to make sure no one parks there and then goes to the mall. 

Yesterday someone bought a lot of stuff and said no to the receipt that I offered. I heard from my shift leader that they came back when I was on break and wanted to return everything they bought. They were pretty mad because they were told that they couldn’t park in our lot and go somewhere else for hours. Because of this, they wanted to boycott our store. When they were told they needed to have the receipt to get money back they got livid. 

They started yelling at everyone in the store, and said that they were never coming to our store again. Luckily, my shift leader hates customers who get angry with our employees, and so refused to come get me to recognize our customers. I hope those people don’t come back; I can’t stand those customers.

Wish He Would Just Pipe Down

, , , | Related | February 6, 2020

(My parents are doing some renovations to the house. They’re getting an entirely new kitchen, as well as taking a portion of the current kitchen and making it into a laundry/bathroom. It’s the biggest renovation done to the house since the expansion about 20 years ago, which added a lot of space on all three floors. I’m visiting one day, sitting in the living room with Mom. Dad is currently mapping out where the outlets will be in the new kitchen and walking between the kitchen and dining room while mumbling to himself, trying to get an overview of the wiring. He’s currently standing on a chair in the middle of the dining room, checking the wiring for the ceiling light.)

Dad: “Now, how did I wire this?”

(He starts to pull wires, watching which lights go out.)

Dad: “Okay, this does that. This one is for that. We’ll pull this one and get shocked, so we’ll not touch that again…”

(This goes on for a while, with Dad occasionally stepping down from the chair to check the lights in the kitchen and living room or to crawl around in the dining room to discover that there’s actually five outlets in there, and not four as he initially thought. After about fifteen minutes:)

Dad: *enthusiastically* “Okay, we’ve got it under control! Mostly. I just have to check this one thing…”

(It takes about five more minutes before he announces that he’s finally got everything checked out. Fast forward a week: I’m back for another visit. Dad is working in the kitchen.)

Mom: “I feel like he’s constantly sawing or cutting something in there, but it looks the same!”

(It looks a mess, as part of the floor is ripped up, half the cabinets are gone, the ceiling is getting replaced, and there’s — part of — a wall in the middle, indicating where the new bathroom is going to be.)

Me: “Well, you wanted this.”

(Mom starts to tell me what Dad has done about the wiring, including fiddling with a remote for the dining room lights, removing/adding/moving wires to and from fixtures, and disassembling a radio, among other things.)

Mom: “You know, I’m not too sure about him playing with all these wires; it’s not like he’s a plumber!”

Me: “Yeah, he’s not an electrician, either.”

Mom: *laughing* “Yes, that’s what I meant. I just hope he doesn’t burn down the house.”

(Dad did all the electrical work himself 20 years ago, too, and the house is still standing. He did, and will, have a professional look it over, though, as it’s the law to have an actual electrician sign off on the work. And as to the “playing with wires” part; Dad’s a telecom technician and that’s how he describes his work.)

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