At this particular restaurant, the customers order and pay by the bar and then we bring the food out to the table.

Customer: “I’m a vegan, so can you suggest something that I can eat?”

We only have two vegan options: a salad and a pizza.

Customer: “Oooh! I’d like the pizza, please.”

She then pays and I bring out the food. A few minutes after she starts eating, she YELLS us over in the otherwise quiet restaurant to complain.

Customer: “This is so dry! Could I have some cheese on it?”

Me: “If you’d like, but I must warn you that we don’t have any vegan cheese, so if we put cheese on the pizza, it won’t be vegan anymore.”

Customer: *Stares at me like I’m an idiot* “You can eat cheese when you are a vegan.”

I then started to explain the difference between being a vegetarian and a vegan to make it clear that if she was a vegan, I advised against eating cheese. She then demanded that I put cheese on the pizza, so we did.

She got the food back, and thirty minutes or so later, we saw her leave. My colleague and I almost exploded when we saw she hadn’t even touched the pizza.

One of our guests approaches the front desk.

Guest: “Hey, can you give me directions to [Shop]? I heard it was close by.”

Me: “Of course, sir. When you exit the hotel, turn to the left and continue straight on until you see the municipality office. [Shop] is located right next to it.”

Guest: “So, first to the left and then straight on?”

Me: “Yes, that is correct. Left and then just straight on until the municipality office.”

Guest: “Thank you!”

We can see the exit from the front desk, and I see the guest promptly turning to the right. Never in our conversation have I even said the word “right”. Sometime later, the same guest returns to the hotel.

Guest: “So, somehow I wasn’t able to find [Shop], and I really looked everywhere! Luckily, I found an alternative shop and I could buy what I needed. Bye, now!”

I wish this same scenario happened rarely, but it is, unfortunately, really common.

Me: “You have reached [Call Centre]. How may I help you?

Caller: “I need to add my daughter to the membership.”

Me: “Okay, we can do that. I just need her name, date of birth, phone number, and email, and we’re good to go.”

Caller: “Her name is [Daughter] and date of birth… uh… now when was that again? It’s in winter, I know that much.”

Me: “Do you remember the month, perhaps? Maybe you could check with someone?”

Caller: “I think December? I’ll check, just a moment.”

A couple of minutes go by and he comes back. 

Caller: “Yeah, December 31st!”

Me: “Soo, New Year’s Eve?”

Caller: “Yeah, that’s right!”

I’m stocking shelves in the back of the store I work in. The store is set up with shelves only being 5,2 feet tall, so you can see any part of the store from anywhere. By the entrance, there is a group of kids being loud and looking at things but not really bothering anyone. Suddenly, an older woman yells at me and gets my attention.

Customer: “You need to tell them to quiet down; they are ruining my shopping experience.”

Mind you, these kids are hardly even eight years old.

Me: “It wouldn’t help if I told them to quiet down. They would not learn their lesson and would come back another day being just as disruptive.”

Again, no one else was bothered by these kids. The customer went over and yelled at the kids, telling them to leave the store and stop bothering serious customers. The kids left, and she left herself a minute later without buying anything.

The store I work in is a toy store.

An angry customer comes up to me and slams his one-day-old expensive phone on my counter so hard he’s lucky it doesn’t crack.

Customer: “You have exactly one f****** minute to fix my phone, or I want a new one. NOW!”

Me: “All right. What seems to be wrong with it?”

Customer: “What do you mean, ‘what seems to be wrong with it’? IT’S F****** DEAD, CAN’T YOU SEE?!”

I hold the power button for four seconds and the phone boots up. I turn the screen around for the angry customer to see, trying to withhold my smug grin.

Me: “Anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “I told that little s*** son of mine to test the phone before he sent me back here!”

He stormed out, extremely red-faced.