They Call Me Mr. Tubs

| London, England, UK | Working | April 4, 2016

(Delivering various items including a pair of large containers to a somewhat rotund gentleman, I had already brought in and been shown where to put the other items:)

Me: “Where would you like these two big tubs?”

Customer: “Put those two over there, and don’t call me that again. Only my wife is allowed to call me that.”

Mad Dash For Dash Cam

| Pleasant Hill, CA, USA | Friendly | May 12, 2015

(I am working my delivery route and stop at a red light before turning right. The guy ahead of me makes the turn and stops at the end of the line of cars. I check to make sure the coast is clear, make the turn, and come to a complete stop well before the guy’s bumper. Suddenly the guy in front of me looks back, looks me dead in the eyes, and shifts into reverse, guns the motor, surges backward, and rams my front bumper. Of course, he gets out screaming and yelling about his neck and about how he’s going to sue me for every penny I’m worth for ramming him.)

Me: *totally calm* “That’s not what happened, and you know it.”

Man: “Oh, yeah? And who’s going to believe that I put my car in reverse to hit YOU?”

(I just smiled calmly. The police arrive, and statements are given. The whole time the guy is ranting and raving about how he’s sustained an injury from my reckless driving. I remain calm throughout the entire thing, even going back to the car to retrieve a small item to hand to the cops.)

Man: “HEY! What the hell do you think you’re doing?! Are you seriously trying to bribe the f****** COPS?!”

Me: “Not at all. I was simply handing them the memory card to my dash cam.”

(The driver went dead white. Long and the short of it? He got in trouble for fraud and several other driving charges…)

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Hard To Get Desk-Side Support

| USA | Working | July 5, 2014

(I’m female. My roommate tells me that she just ordered a desk for our house. A few days later a man comes knocking on the door.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Delivery Man: “Yes. I have some furniture?”

(He hands me slip of paper.)

Me: “This is the desk?”

Delivery Man: “Uh huh…”

Me: *steps back* “Okay. Well, come on in.”

Delivery Man: “Oh, no, it ain’t delivery in the house. Someone has to go come and get it from my truck.”

Me: “Oh… um. Well, you see, nobody has called me saying that this would be delivered today… and I’m the only one here.”

Delivery Man: “Someone called and I’m not takin’ it back!”

Me: “Well… is it very heavy? I could do it.”

Delivery Man: *looks at me as if I’m crazy* “Yeah, duh! No way no woman would be able to pick it up.”

Me: “Okay, let me call for help.”

(Instead of calling for help, I call my roommate who is at work. She’s not as nice as me.)

Roommate: *sounding distracted* “Hello?”

Me: “Hey, it’s me. Your desk has arrived.”

Roommate: “WHAT?!”

Me: “The guy says it’s really heavy and he’s refusing to deliver it without help.”

Roommate: “Let me talk to him! They never called me to say they would deliver it today!”

(I handed over the phone. The delivery man and my roommate got into a heated argument that lasted 20 minutes, before him finally agreeing to try to deliver the desk. With my help, he did it without a problem. Total time it took to deliver it? Five minutes.)

Piercing Judgments, Part 4

| PA, USA | Right | February 5, 2014

(I am delivering oxygen to a new patient at their home. It is mid-summer and I am wearing a short sleeve work shirt. I have tattoos visible on both arms and hands as well as the front of my neck. I also have three piercings in each earlobe as well as my septum and three in my lower lip. There are all currently being filled by clear spacers. I also have shoulder length hair, a long full beard, stand 6’4″, and am clearly a biker. Generally, patients are a little timid at first when they see me but once they speak to me they are generally more at ease with my appearance and demeanor.)

Me: “Will that be it for you today, ma’am?”

Woman: “Why don’t you have any religious tattoos?”

Me: “Pardon me, ma’am?”

Woman: “Why don’t you have any religious tattoos like the saints or scriptures?”

Me: “Well, I suppose because I don’t actively practice any religion, ma’am.”

Woman: “Those things might be acceptable if they were religious.”

Me: “I’ll agree to disagree, ma’am, but then I have to ask, why don’t you have any religious tattoos?”

Woman: “Because the bible says to alter your body’s appearance is a sin! Leviticus says it.”

Me: “I am somewhat familiar with the passages you are referring to, but if you believe that, then why would you ask why I don’t have any religious tattoos, when the bible says that tattoos are a sin?”

Woman: “Well, you are obviously going to go to Hell for your sins, but I thought if you had some scripture instead of those other things you might be forgiven and get to walk with Jesus.”

Related:
Piercing Judgments, Part 3
Piercing Judgments, Part 2
Piercing Judgments

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Their Attitude Has Gone To The Dogs

| England, UK | Working | January 13, 2014

(I am home alone when the doorbell rings. I am expecting a delivery for my dad, so I answer.)

Delivery Man: “Hey, this is pretty heavy. You sure you can get it in?”

Me: “Yeah, it’ll be fine. I’m only taking it a couple of steps.”

Delivery Man: “You sure? You’re only a little girl.”

Me: “I’m stronger than I look, and I’m not going to be taking it far anyway.”

Delivery Man: “Nah, I should bring it in myself. Don’t want you straining yourself trying to do a man’s job.”

Me: “No, really. It’s all right. I can handle it.”

Delivery Man: “I said I’ll—”

(At this point he’s cut off by a growl coming from behind me. My two big dogs have managed to open the door I shut them behind and are making their own dislike of the delivery guy extremely clear.)

Delivery Man: “Ah… yeah. You look like a strong woman. Yeah. I’ll just leave this here.”

(He high-tailed it back to his van and drove off!)

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