Warning: Risk Of Possible Tanning

| CA, USA | Working | July 14, 2017

(On Wednesday I order and overnight-express ship some water/aqua socks online for my husband, for our stay on Saturday at a hotel that offers an indoor water park. My husband has disfigurements on both feet and he is extremely self conscious about it, so refuses to go to the water park for my daughter’s and my birthdays unless he can hide them. Friday at six am I get an email from the shipping company that delivery will be delayed so I call.)

Me: “Why is it showing my over-nighted package is delayed? It shows scanned in Los Angeles.”

Representative: “I’m sorry but severe weather has delayed it since we can’t deliver it.”

Me: “But it’s been clear skies and sunny for the past two days.”

Representative: “Well, that may be true at the delivery address in Santa Fe Springs but it currently is delayed at the shipping center in Los Angeles with severe weather; it is too dangerous for our drivers to attempt delivery.”

(DISTANCE OF 10 MILES.)

Me: “I work in LA and it’s clear skies as well. I literally am standing outside staring at it.”

Representative: “Well, the severe weather does not have to be in Los Angeles; the item still needs to be shipped to the Anaheim distribution center so it could be that Anaheim has weather to severe for the safety of our drivers.”

(DISTANCE OF 15 MILES.)

Me: “Anaheim is clear skies as well. Can I speak to a manager?”

(The manager tells me I can’t arrange to pick up my item at either center but promises me it will be delivered by the end of the day, just not the eight pm guaranteed time. I’m happy since we get what we need. At six pm I get an email that due to severe weather my package has been rescheduled for delivery on Thursday, February second. That would be the next day the forecast says it will rain. That sun is just too dangerous to be risking lives!)

Signing Off On That Action

, , , | Working | June 2, 2017

(I work at a company that specializes in property management software, and I help answer calls and emails regarding issues specifically with the software.)

Customer: “Hey, I have a question for you.”

Me: “Okay, what’s going on?”

Customer: “The UPS guy is here right now in the office, and he brought in a bunch of sodas. Like, a bunch. Should I sign for them?”

Me: “Did you order the sodas?”

Customer: “Nope.”

Me: “Do you know if someone else did?”

Customer: “I’m not sure. He is waiting for me to sign for them. Should I?”

Me: “…sure.”

Customer: “Okay, great. Thank you.”

(I’ve talked to this manager before and I still think he has no idea that I am tech support for the software they use. Not sure who he thought he was calling.)

Confusion Brewing

, | Montreal, QC, Canada | Right | August 2, 2016

(I work in a food delivery call center as a team leader on evening shift when one of the agents on my team comes to tell me he has a lady on the line who would like to “submit a comment.” I ask him to send her to me so I can talk with her.)

Me: “Good evening, madam. My name is [My Name]. How could I be of service tonight?”

Caller: “Good evening, sir. I would like to submit a comment, but it’s not a complaint, though.”

Me: “Oh, no problem, you can go on. I will note it down and send it to our HQ without any problem.”

Caller: “I received a little tea bag with every order I made with you. I find the attention very sweet, however every time I infused it after eating, the taste is a little weird. Maybe you should verify your expiry date.”

(I know that the restaurant hasn’t been selling tea for years, so I ask the lady for more detail.)

Caller: “Well you know it’s in a square-shaped little bag and it seems to be your house brand because it has your emblem on it.”

(That’s when I realised she had been drinking infused wet napkins.)

Frozen By A Cold

| West Sussex, UK | Working | May 18, 2016

(I’m ordering something from a large shop in Bogner Regis. Talking to an employee over the phone, it went well until this. Note: I have a slight cold.)

Employee: “Okay, can I have your address, please?”

Me: *states address* “Arundel.”

(This is pronounced ‘arren-dull’.)

Employee: *after a couple of seconds of silence, sarcastically* “Very funny. Your real address, please.”

Me: “That is my address.”

Employee: “I need a real address for delivery.”

Me: *not understanding what I did* “What did I do wrong?”

Employee: “This is a serious business. We don’t have time for clowns.”

Me: “What?!”

Employee: “I need a real address or I’m terminating this phone call.”

Me: “It’s a real address! Look it up on Google; I don’t get what the problem is—” *I realize* “—Oh! Oh, look, please, I’m not pretending. Just look it up on Google.”

Employee: “I don’t have time for this.”

(I called again and I got another employee, one who knew how to read a map!)

They Call Me Mr. Tubs

| London, England, UK | Working | April 4, 2016

(Delivering various items including a pair of large containers to a somewhat rotund gentleman, I had already brought in and been shown where to put the other items:)

Me: “Where would you like these two big tubs?”

Customer: “Put those two over there, and don’t call me that again. Only my wife is allowed to call me that.”

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