Driving Into The Irony

, , , | Working | February 15, 2019

(I work at a truck gate at a parts warehouse. My job is to check in and out trucks that come in for deliveries and pickups. We are required to give each driver a laminated map of the yard and dock locations. A driver comes in, and we direct him to a specific dock and give him a map with the dock clearly marked.)

Driver: “I’ve been here before; I don’t need it.”

Me: “Everyone has to have one.”

Driver: “That’s dumb. I’m just going right over there!” *points to the dock visible from the gate*

Me: “I know, but you’d be surprised how many people get lost.”

Driver: “That’s just stupid; I can’t believe people get lost. It’s right over there! Stupid drivers…”

(The driver then took the map and proceeded directly to the wrong dock.)

No Such Thing As Too Much Pizza, But We See Her Point

, , , , , | Working | February 12, 2019

(I place an order for pizza delivery, specifying the delivery time as 8:00 pm, two hours after the order is placed, so I can be sure that I have the kids in bed by the time the delivery arrives. I also leave a note making it super clear to come after 8:00 pm and to not knock on the front door but to call when the delivery was here. I’m in the middle of reading a bedtime story to my two-year-old at around 6:30 pm when there’s a loud bang at the door. I so hope it isn’t, but alas, it is the pizza guy.)

Delivery Man: “Order for [My Name].”

Me: “Yes, I did place an order… for an hour and a half from now.”

Delivery Man: “Yes, I am early for you. It is good, yes?”

Me: “No, not really. Sorry, but I ordered ahead on purpose because I’m in the middle of putting my kids to bed. I don’t really want this pizza right now; I wanted it after 8:00 pm.”

(I show him the note on the receipt asking them to please not show up early.)

Delivery Man: “I am early! Early is better! Not late!”

Me: *tired of the back and forth* “Okay, well, I’ll obviously take the pizza because I don’t want you to have to come back out again. Obviously, some wires got crossed somewhere. You have a good evening now!”

(I put the pizza in the oven to keep it warm and finish bedtime. I give the pizza place a quick call to explain what happened. I’m not trying to get anything free; I just like this particular pizza place so I would like this to not happen in the future. The owner is super apologetic, says they were busy and didn’t take the time to read a note, and he says the next time I order it’s on the house. I insist that isn’t necessary, just to check the notes when I order, please. I enjoy my pizza. Just as I finish eating, there is another loud knock at the door. It’s the same delivery guy.)

Delivery Man: “I have pizza for you; boss man said it’s on the house!”

(He has the exact same order again.)

Me: “Oh, I really don’t need another pizza! I’ve just finished eating the one you brought earlier. Thank you for coming out but I don’t want to take the pizza.”

Delivery Man: “No, no, it’s okay; boss man said it’s okay.”

Me: “Yeah, I understand, but I don’t need another pizza; I still have half a pizza. Honestly, it will just be too much pizza in the house.”

Delivery Man: “No, don’t worry! It’s okay! Boss man said it’s for you! It’s fine!”

Me: *exasperated, takes order* “Thank you. Have a good evening.”

(Why on earth would I want a duplicate order the exact same evening?)

It Took Five Hours To Ruin His Whole Business

, , , , , , , | Working | February 8, 2019

This happened twenty years ago. I was a truck driver driving a fixed route of deliveries to several factories in the country. Mobile phones weren’t as common as they are now, so when I was on the road there was no way for my boss to contact me. It was normal for me to leave my boss’s place at 0700 and not return before 1900. Sometimes it would happen that my boss would phone one of the addresses on my route to leave me a message: pick up a load at that address, don’t deliver the load at that address but at that address, etc.

One day I came back, parked the van, and went into the office to hand in the car keys as usual.

My boss told me that my wife had called and that it sounded serious. Of course, I called my wife, and she told me that her father had died five hours ago and she needed me to come home. I asked her when she called my boss. She told me she had called five hours ago and told the boss.

I hung up and asked the boss why he didn’t relay the message five hours ago. He told me that he’d considered that, but he knew that I would return home immediately and that would be very inconvenient for him. And as my father-in-law was dead already it wouldn’t make any difference if I finished my route.

He didn’t see me leave because he was KO’d on the floor. I never returned to the place. I started work with another company one week later. I told them when I applied why I was looking for a new job, and they didn’t have any problems with me hitting a jerk in the face. I did have to go to court, but that was to get my outstanding pay, which I did.

I also made a call to the Dutch Bureau for Taxes about tax fraud, about having five different vans on the road on one license plate, about double sets of books, and about shipments of “medicinal herbs” to certain warehouses.

Don’t Do The Dime If You Can’t Do The Time

, , , | Right | February 8, 2019

(There’s this guy we deliver to almost every day between four and six o’clock at a sketchy apartment complex that smells like weed. He’s very nice and polite, and he always tips at least $5 for his order — which, considering how close he is to the restaurant, is pretty good. His orders vary every day, though. One day it’ll be three sandwiches and two cookies, the next only one sandwich, the next day seven sandwiches with six chips and three cookies, etc. One day, I’m delivering his order to him and he answers the door.)

Customer: “Yo, I’m so sorry. I thought I had more money, but I don’t have enough for a tip.”

Me: “Oh, I guess I can let slide this time. But seriously, it’s not a big deal. We like you; you’re very polite, and never get mad at us.”

Customer: “I just feel so bad.”

Me: “As long as you can pay for the order, I won’t be mad.”

Customer: “Can you take other forms of tips?”

(Some of the local businesses will tip us popcorn, cookies, or other treats in place of money; we usually accept.)

Me: “Depends on what it is.”

Customer: “I got a dime if you want it.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “It’s really good stuff, I promise. Also, if any of you guys need a hookup, just let me know.”

Me: “I cannot take that kind of tip, but thank you for the offer.”

Customer: “Well, if you guys change your mind, you know where I live!”

There’s Nothing Cats And Dogs Can’t Make Better

, , , , , , , | Hopeless | January 21, 2019

I have worked over two years for a well-known UK supermarket delivering groceries to customers at home. Over these last two years, I’ve gone from positive and energetic about my job to somewhat sad and jaded. This does not mean I don’t do my best work; it just means that I have lost a lot of enthusiasm for the work itself and the good bits are outweighed by the bad bits now.

But today was a good day. First off, I want to say that if you are getting a grocery delivery, generally, keeping your pets locked away is helpful, since not everyone likes cats and dogs and may even have allergies. But I love cats and dogs, and I don’t have allergies!

My third delivery of the morning came with instructions, “We have dogs and cats; they are friendly.” I greeted the customer, who invited me inside, and the dogs came rushing up past their owner to greet the strange new human in their home. There were tails wagging and lots of excited pants. I greeted the dogs enthusiastically. The customer even invited me to stay for a few minutes to play with the dogs, and the cats, who, after a few minutes, decided to come and see what the fuss was about. In short, I was in fluffy heaven for five awesome minutes.

My run of good lucked followed with a later customer giving me a free latte. Another customer with pets that were happy to see me even gave me a generous tip for my work. Fun fact: the best tippers are always American. So, while I think I’m on the way out of this particular job, today reminded me that there are some really good aspects of my job!

Page 1/1212345...Last