We’ve Upgraded You To Time Travel

, , , , | Working | March 15, 2018

(I am on the phone with customer service about an item I ordered.)

Me: “Hey, I ordered this item this morning [Wednesday] with two-day shipping, but it says it won’t arrive until next Tuesday.”

Customer Service Rep: “Sorry, that item isn’t in stock until Saturday. After it is in stock, it will be normal two-day shipping.”

Me: “The page says nothing about it being out of stock.”

Customer Service Rep: “It does on my screen, sir.”

Me: “It doesn’t anywhere on mine. It says it’s in stock.”

Customer Service Rep: “Sorry about that. I’ll upgrade you to one-day shipping for the inconvenience. Now the item will arrive this Friday.”

Me: “Um… Friday is before Saturday.”

Customer Service Rep: “Yes, that’s correct, sir. I’ve upgraded you.”

Me: “So, the item will be here on Friday?”

Customer Service Rep: “Yes.”

Me: *long pause* “Okay, then.”

(Yes, it arrived on Friday.)

Will Have To Shop Around For Some More Shopping

, , , , , | Working | March 6, 2018

(I work for a supermarket in the home delivery department. I have spent the last week and a half acting up into a role of team support. My job is to support drivers while they are on the road, and to communicate with the customer service team regarding the status of orders. Sometimes we have orders that are “stored,” which means that, for whatever reason, payment has been unsuccessful. At these times, we call the customer to try and sort the payment out. If the customer does not answer, we leave a voicemail and arrange for an email to be sent. In very rare circumstances, customers don’t get their shopping and call customer service to find out where it is. More often than not, this is after the delivery window, and the shopping is returned to stock. This leads to the following conversation with customer service.)

Employee: “Hi there. It’s [Employee] from customer service. I’m trying to track down a customer’s order.”

(After we establish who the customer is and I explain that the order was stored, this conversation happens without fail.)

Employee: “Is there any chance if the customer pays that we could get their shopping out to them?”

Me: “No, sorry. That’s not possible; the transaction has expired and we can’t access it anymore to take payment.”

Employee: “But what if we could get them to pay? Can we get the shopping out to them?”

Me: “No. There is no possible way for them to pay; they have to reorder. The transaction has been closed; we would have no way to take payment. The shopping has been returned to stock.”

Employee: “Well, we really need to make this customer happy, so can we not take payment?”

Me: “We have no means to process that. I can’t do the impossible.”

Employee: “Well, I’ll just have to phone your store manager to confirm this.”

Me: “Uh, okay. Fine.”

(Every time, the store manager comes in and checks that 1) the transaction has expired and 2) the shopping is returned to stock, and then tells customer service this. Customer service then explains that they promised to get this shopping to the customer that day and that we need to make it happen. The manager refuses and tells customer service not to promise things like that next time. This happens far more than it should.)

It Pays To Be Polite

, , , , , , | Working | February 7, 2018

I live in a city where everything is within walking distance, so I don’t own a car. This generally isn’t a problem, except in a few select instances, such as buying groceries. The store is a good mile from my apartment, so carrying everything by myself becomes a real challenge. One day I decide to just order a bunch of stuff to be delivered so I won’t have to make another trip to the store for a while.

Fast forward to the day the food is supposed to be delivered. My initial payment doesn’t go through, so I have to use another card, and all the while the representative on the phone is being incredibly friendly and energetic. A few hours later I receive a call from the delivery person saying they’re backed up because it’s so busy and ask if they can deliver my groceries at a different time. I have nothing else to do all day so I tell them to take their time.

When they show up, the delivery person is so sweet and friendly. I notice some flowers in one of the bags and they tell me that the flowers are complementary as an apology for being late. I was completely floored. They were so apologetic about the whole situation when it really wasn’t that big a deal for me at all. Be kind to your local food service workers!

It’s All In The (Lack Of) Delivery, Part 4

, , , , | Working | February 3, 2018

(I am working at a business very near a famous landmark building. The business has seen fit to name itself [Place Very Near Famous Landmark Building]. As you can imagine, this causes all kinds of confusion. I get a call that a delivery is coming for me, and they want to know what floor they can find me on. I can tell they think I am in [Famous Landmark Building].)

Me: “We are at [street address], across the street from [Famous Landmark Building]. Please use the street address to find us, and don’t just go to [Famous Landmark Building], as that is not where I work.”

Delivery Person: *obviously not listening* “Uh-huh. Should be there in fifteen minutes.”

(Fifteen minutes pass. I get a phone call.)

Delivery Person: “Where are you? I’m on the third floor, and nobody here has heard of you.”

Me: “Did you go to [Famous Landmark Building]?”

Delivery Person: “Yes.”

Me: “Again, that is not where I work. Please look at the delivery address.”

Delivery Person: “That’s where I am! I’m at [street address].”

Voice In The Background: “That’s not our address. That’s across the street.”

(There was a long silence. Then, the phone went dead. Five minutes later, I got a call from reception that a delivery guy came in, dropped my package at the desk, and ran off in a hurry.)

It’s All In The (Lack Of) Delivery, Part 3
It’s All In The (Lack Of) Delivery, Part 2
It’s All In The (Lack Of) Delivery

Can’t Believe This Is The Company That Came Up Trumps

, , , , , , , | Working | January 31, 2018

(I recently moved to a nice, but relatively expensive apartment community. Craving takeout, I order food from one of the many new options I’ve yet to explore. Some time later, my doorbell rings three times, followed by door knocks to the beat of shave-and-a-haircut. I open the door and am greeted by the delivery driver, a Caucasian male in his late twenties, pacing in front of my door.)

Driver: “Can you believe what they did?”

Me: “Er, sorry?”

Driver: “They sent me out without an address. I need an address to give you your food! Is that where you work?” *he points at the logo on my shirt, which is from a bike tour*

Me: “Uh… No.”

Driver: “They’re idiots.” *he hands me a receipt with no line* “Sign this.”

Me: “Where?”

Driver: “Anywhere; just sign it.” *touches my forearm* “What’s that?”

Me: “A tattoo?”

Driver: “Uh, duh.” *he takes the receipt* “You know, I’ve been waitlisted for these apartments for years, but they let all these immigrants live here. I hope Trump does something about them soon.”

Me: “Right.”

Driver: *hands me my food and turns to walk away* “I can’t believe those idiots.”

(In between his questions, he kept trying to peek inside my apartment. As soon as he left, I closed and locked my door, and made a mental note to never order from that place again!)

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