More Than A Feeling – It’s Money!

, , , , , , | Right | CREDIT: StrikeTeamForLife | July 11, 2021

I was listening to Boston as I pulled up to a house to make a pizza delivery. The customer was an old dude who told me he liked my taste in music. He handed me $20 for a tip.

Me: “Man, are you sure? You just made my night!”

Customer: “Here, let me really make it.

And he gave me another $20!

So, advice for other drivers: listen to mainstream classic rock and old people will probably tip better and like you better. I had another guy comment about me playing RUSH and I got like $8 from him.

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You Want Sa-mo-son? (Sorry, That Was Bad)

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: islandfool | July 9, 2021

My company delivers food for local restaurants. We’re a small company; we pay good salaries, social insurance, etc. Our most popular places are pizza joints, but today, this ABSOLUTE GEM of a human ordered from an Indian restaurant. He demanded free samosas and threatened to cancel his order if he didn’t get them. Naturally, the Indian place said no. He bombed me with so many emails, calling me a whore, saying that Indians are useless, calling the restaurant staff racial slurs, and so on.

After I told him they said no the first time, he ordered again an hour later with a note, and the following exchange of emails ensues.

Customer: “Hi. Need free samosas or please cancel, thanks.”

Me: “You’re still not getting free samosas, and I’ve declined your order as requested.”

Customer: “Tell those rude, ignorant little f*****s that they don’t get many customers these days, so they should be f****** grateful! If not, I won’t order again, [slur] scum! And please deliver my message exactly like that.”

Me: “Hi, [Customer]. I absolutely will not be relaying your racist messages to them. In fact, I have sent out my whole flock of messenger pigeons to gather my army of Indian and Pakistani warriors, and tonight we shall feast on samosas in your honor. Have a great evening. [My Name].”

I deleted his account and told him not to contact us again. He was the first customer I’ve ever banned. Also, we’re in Thailand, so the owner of the restaurant is Thai and all of the staff are Thai and Burmese. Now, I’m just hoping that he posts a review somewhere so I can screenshot all of his racist bulls***.

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Even Dudes Don’t Want To See You Nude

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: ANONYMOUS BY REQUEST | July 3, 2021

As a delivery lady for several years, I’ve definitely seen some stuff. I’ve seen people coming to the door wearing only a blanket or awkwardly trying to hide behind the door, a lady who chased me down the road wearing just a bra and panties, etc. Even though it’s all inappropriate, I just shrug it off.

I recently delivered a pizza to a guy who answered the door wearing nothing but some droopy undies. I guess his way of a half-apology was to say:

Customer: “I thought you’d be a dude.”

When I get back to the store, I talk to the other delivery guys.

Me: “Do you guys really think it’s okay for people to come to the door dressed inappropriately just because you’re dudes?”

Coworkers: “It happens.”

I know you have to have a bit of a thick skin for this job, I still think it’s SOCIALLY inappropriate to answer the door undressed just because you assume it’s going to be a dude on the way.

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We Need To Address This Customer’s Spatial Reasoning Issues

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: sweatymuscles | June 12, 2021

I’m fairly new to pizza delivery; I’ve been working for about three months. For the last delivery of the night, this lady puts her address in, and I look it up on my GPS and it’s not even a real address. I decide to text her instead of calling.

Me: “Could you please confirm your address?”

Customer: “It’s [address].”

Me: “Perfect!”

As I’m driving she replies, “Really?” as if I did something horribly wrong. I just kind of brush it off but I’m confused. The address takes me to a duplex/apartment-style maze with four numbers. She claimed on text that the numbers were 4-203. I look up and down, left and right for this room, but it’s nowhere to be found; I see 4-201, 4-202, but no 4-203.

Just as I’m texting her again, she calls me.

Customer: “Where are you?!”

Me: “I’m in front of 4-201 but I can’t seem to find 4-203.”

Customer: “I can’t help you if you just name numbers.”

Me: “Uh… well… I’m on the left side of the number two building.”

Customer: “You might as well just get in your car and drive back.”

Me: “Uh… okay?”

I hear the sound of her opening her garage door, but I still can’t see her. It’s too dark and snowy.

Customer: “I don’t see you at all! Where even are you?”

Me: “Oh! I hear your garage! Where’s your garage?”

And she hangs up. Should I go back to the store or try and find this unknown location all over again? Finally, I see her as I drive past.

Me: “I’m really sorry. I couldn’t find 4-203 at all.”

Customer: “That’s a you problem. I’ve never had this issue with anybody else!”

But get this: she wasn’t even standing in front of 4-203; she was standing in front of 4-406.

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Masked By Corporate Reasoning

, , , , , | Right | June 11, 2021

I live in an area where masks are a touchy topic. The majority of people don’t like them, and we don’t have a mask mandate, but I deliver groceries and most of my customers are elderly, so I wear mine. This is apparently a problematic decision.

Customer #1: “Why are you wearing your mask? Do you think I’m diseased or something?”

For my next delivery, I leave my mask on my chin and decide I’ll pull it up if needed.

Customer #2: *In an ‘Are you stupid?’ tone* “What’s the point in the mask if you’re leaving it down?”

Fair point. I put it on for my next delivery.

Customer #3: “Are you really wearing a mask just so you can hand me my stuff?”

Me: *Pauses* “Well, we don’t have uniforms, so this is the only thing I have with the logo on it. I’m just wearing it so people know I’m with [Delivery Service] and not a stranger on your porch.”

Customer #3: “Oh, you’re right! Thank you!”

I have finally found something that pleases everyone!

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