We’ll Have A Wibbly-Wobbly Timey-Wimey Pepperoni, Please

, , , , | Right | July 1, 2020

I am delivering pizzas at an apartment building. As I get out of my car, a woman approaches me.

Woman: “What apartment is that for?”

Me: “306.”

Woman: “306? Oh, okay. We haven’t ordered yet.”

Me: “…”

As we don’t have any psychics or a time machine, we were unable to deliver her food before she had ordered it.

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It’s Pickle Slick!

, , , , , , , , | Right | June 12, 2020

My girlfriend and I are stuck at home and we’re ordering food through a delivery app. In the special instructions, she requests that the burgers have no pickles since she doesn’t like them.

When the food finally arrives, she eats her portion and I decide to eat mine later. When she’s finished, she angrily tells me to look at the s*** bag that we were delivered. I go to look and on the side of the bag there is a message that reads, “Ex-tra pickles. Have a great day :)”.

At this point, I tear open my burger to see if it has pickles — I love them, by the way! — and found none. I ask my girlfriend if hers had pickles and there were none on hers, either, so no harm done. She then goes into a rant while I try to explain to her that it was a joke on behalf of the fast food worker and that there was no harm done.

It even gets a chuckle out of me, which only makes my girlfriend angrier, and she continues on her rant about paying for a service and expecting seriousness and hiring a clown if she wanted humor.

I hope that whoever did this to the food finds this post so I can tell them that I appreciated the gesture to lighten the situation and that I apologize on behalf of my girlfriend.

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How Is She Going To Eat It?

, , , , , , , , | Right | June 11, 2020

A coworker is on the phone with a lady ordering pizza. She can barely understand the customer; her voice is muffled.

Coworker: “Ma’am, are you wearing a mask?”

Customer: “Yes. I don’t want to get corona from you.”

I’m surprised that the lady didn’t want the pizza faxed to her.

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I’ll Have What He Had

, , , , , , | Working | May 25, 2020

I live in a state where recreational marijuana is legal. I’m ordering from a restaurant that’s popular with the stoner crowd and the people who work there are usually a little hazy themselves. For this reason, I’m usually pretty thorough about making sure everything I order is correct.

The delivery guy has just delivered my food and, to my surprise, everything is correct. I sit down to eat when I get a call.

Me: “Hello?”

Delivery Guy: “Hey, man, it’s your driver from [Restaurant]. I’m so sorry, man! I took your food to the wrong house!”

Me: “What? No, you didn’t.”

Delivery Guy: “You had [correct order], right?”

Me: *Pause* “Yeah?”

Delivery Guy: “I’m really sorry! I’m running back to the restaurant right now; I’ll be right there.”

Me: “No, dude, I’m telling you, I have everything I ordered right in front of me. I’m in the middle of eating it!”

Delivery Guy: “No, it’s totally my bad. Don’t worry.”

Me: “Listen to me. I just saw you! You handed the food to me! My name is on the receipt!” 

Delivery Guy: “Sorry. It’s going to be, I don’t know, like, ten more minutes.”

Me: “Please, I’m telling you: I paid, you gave me the food, and it’s all perfect. You don’t have to do anything. We’re all good.”

Delivery Guy: “I know, I’m sorry. It’s just been a long night. But I’m almost back at the restaurant now, so I won’t be too long.”

Me: “Really, it’s okay. I don’t need anything-”

Delivery Guy: “It’s no problem. Just… Oh, wait…”

He is silent for a good few seconds.

Delivery Guy: “My bad! Have a good night!” *Click*

I never figured out what he thought was going on. The food was great, though!

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Maybe You Should Get Busy… Using Your Brain

, , , , , | Working | May 14, 2020

I order a package online, and after a couple of days, I get an email from the courier saying, “Your package has been delivered.” Since I have been working from home all day, I know no package has been delivered, so I contact the courier.

Me: “Yes, I would like some information about package [package number]; the website says it was delivered.”

Courier: “Let me just check… Oh, it looks like we returned the package to the sender.”

Me: “Then why does your tracking system say it has been delivered to my address?”

Courier: “That must be a mistake; according to our system we returned it.”

Me: “But why did you return it? There was nothing wrong with it.”

Courier: “Oh, because of the recent outbreak, our depot was too busy so we just returned it.”

Me: “Okay, then could you please let me know what I need to do to get my package?”

Courier: “Oh, just call the sender and have them resend it.”

Me: “…”

Courier: “…”

Me: “So, just to be clear, you returned a package to the sender because you got too busy, and your solution to solve that problem is to contact the sender and have them resend the package, because that will magically make your company less busy?”

Courier: “Yes! I am glad I was able to help you.”

Me: “I don’t think we were in the same conversation, but okay. I’ll take this up with the sender.”

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