I’m doing a cash delivery. The total amount is $19.78. I knock on the door, and the customer opens it; I see a $20 bill in his hand.
Me: “How are you tonight? Your total is $19.78.”
Customer: *Hands me the bill.* “Here you go.”
Me: “Thank you so much; do you need your change back?”
Customer: *Looks awkwardly away.* “No, I’m all set.”
Me: *Laughing in my head, knowing the customer is too stupid to know I’m being a passive-aggressive d**k.* “Have a great day!”
I answer the customer line:
Caller: “This is ridiculous! I ordered three pizzas from you, and all of them are wrong!”
I double-check the caller ID, as I am confused.
Me: “This is [Customer Name], at [Street Name]?”
Caller: “Yes!”
Me: “Your order hasn’t even left the store yet. I am physically staring at it right now while on the phone with you.”
Caller: “What?! But I’m looking at your pizzas right now, too!”
Me: “They were delivered just now?”
Caller: “Just a few minutes ago!”
Me: “Is our store logo on the box?”
Pause.
Caller: “Uh… no, actually. It’s [Other Brand].”
Me: “Did you order pizzas from them?”
Caller: “No, just you guys.”
Me: “Well… I can’t speak for those pizzas, but the ones you actually did order from us are correct, and about to leave the store.”
Caller: “Why do I have these pizzas?”
Me: “I can only assume that [Other Brand] gave them to you by mistake, and by pure coincidence, you were also waiting for three pizzas so had no reason to refuse them.”
Caller: “I… don’t know what to do.”
Me: “Enjoy all six pizzas?”
Caller: “That’s too much pizza! This evening is ruined!” *Click.*
I don’t know how I’d describe getting a surprise pizza doubling, but ‘ruined’ is not the word!
Customer: *Storming in.* “Where’s the manager?!”
I get her, and when she comes out front:
Customer: *Opens up a container.* “I just had this delivered to my house, and I want you to tell me what’s wrong with it.”
The manager looks in the container.
Manager: “Okay… I see some wings. Did we mix up the sauces or something?”
Customer: “No… I ordered a dozen hot wings… and there are only twelve wings in this box.”
Manager: “…Sir. A dozen means twelve.”
Customer: “No, a dozen is fifteen!”
Manager: “No. A dozen is twelve. You can Google it, or ask literally anyone else. I’ll give you three extra free wings for your trouble, but in the future, please remember that a dozen is twelve.”
Customer: “A dozen has never been twelve! But fine, I’ll take the wings!”
The manager gives him three extra wings, and he storms out.
Coworker: “Why did you do that? He was wrong.”
Manager: “Anyone that stupid needs all the protein they can get to keep their few brain cells alive. Speaking of brains, don’t be alarmed, but I’m about to go give myself a concussion with a face palm…”
I was delivering pizza on a night when we were getting light snow. About two inches (five centimeters) had accumulated, which wasn’t much to me, but to native Virginians, it was un-drivable conditions.
I delivered to a house in a fairly well-off area. The customer’s order came to $16, and he paid with a $20 bill and told me to keep the change. Not bad, tip-wise.
As I was walking back to my car, I was putting the cash in my folded bunch of bills. We kept larger denominations in the middle, and $1s to the outside. As I was putting the $20 bill in the fold, I noticed that there were actually two $20 bills. Now, I could’ve been greedy and kept it, but the guy was nice, and he probably mishandled the bills because it was cold weather.
I returned to his door and knocked.
Me: “Excuse me, sir. You accidentally gave me $40, not $20.”
I started to hand him the extra $20.
Customer: “No, that’s yours. I don’t want to drive in this crap, and I appreciate that you can.”
I made a note in the computer when I got back to the store so that future drivers would know what a nice customer he was.
This night, I delivered in the snow to a sketchier area of town. When I pulled up, a man walked out to my car, and I gave him his total, $53.08. He tries to hand me a $100.
Me: “Sorry, sir, I can’t make change for a $100.”
Customer: “It’s all good, man, the roads are bad tonight, just keep the change.”
I hand him his food and tell him:
Me: “Thank you so much, man… I greatly appreciate the tip… It’s been rough lately.”
He nodded, and I went and hopped in my car. The guy jumps into his vehicle, which is still in a heavily covered snow patch. I’m coincidentally parked right behind him…
I look at the $100 bill.
On the back, it says: “For motion picture use only.”
The guy is frantically trying to back out whilst I’m parked right behind him, blocking him in. I call the store and notify them… my manager doesn’t really do much other than say “okay.”
So, I took the bill back to the guy in the car and told him his money is fake. He acts surprised… and grabs all his food and hands it back to me.
When I told the store to blacklist the customer… my managers started scolding me for accepting a $100 bill, telling me we aren’t allowed to accept any bills over a $20. I explained that not a single driver in our store would turn down a $50 tip over this bogus policy.
When I asked my general manager to possibly blacklist the customer or make some sort of record of the incident, she told me, “It was probably a fake address”, even though this address frequently orders and his car was snowed in the parking spot. I’ve never felt so insulted in my life!
