Anchovy Versus Pineapple: Why Not Work Together?

, , , , , , , | | Right | July 17, 2019

(I am ordering a pizza from the local pizzeria. I am over seven months pregnant with weird cravings, and I’m moody after a tough day at work, not to mention very hungry. None of these are good excuses for my behavior.)

Me: “Yes, I would like to order a large mushroom, anchovy, and pineapple for delivery.”

Pizza Guy: “Umm, could you repeat that, please?”

Me: “Yes, I would like to order a large mushroom, anchovy, and pineapple for delivery.”

Pizza Guy: “Seriously?!”

Me: “Yes.”

Pizza Guy: *says with a laugh* “What are you, pregnant?”

Me: *half yelling, half crying* “YES! YES, I AM! AND YOU BETTER HAVE IT HERE IN THIRTY MINUTES OR SO HELP ME—“

Pizza Guy: “Yes, ma’am!” *hangs up*

(Of course, I feel bad about yelling almost immediately. By the time the delivery guy shows up, I have my apology ready and a good tip. As I am trying to apologize through tears, he stops me and asks me to eat a slice in front of him. I am so hungry that I do as he asks.)

Delivery Guy: “Lady, we had a bet that this was a prank call. None of us thought anyone would eat it. The pizza is free.”

(I tried to insist he take the money and he even refused the tip. I ordered — and paid — for several more of these pizzas about twice a week. Even now that my kids are in their teens, I still love mushroom, anchovy, and pineapple pizza.)

Delivery Charged With Vandalism

, , , | | Working | June 21, 2019

(I recently ordered a new laptop from a well-known company that also delivers the platform straight to you. It’s a pretty hefty one, basically the type of laptops that is able to run about four different games at once at near perfect quality. I decide to save more money to have it delivered within 72 hours. About two days later, in the middle of the night, I get woken up by banging and screaming. Startled, I run to the door to find a guy HITTING my door with the box in his hand.)

Me: “Dude! What are you doing?!”

Delivery Guy: “I’ve been standing here for the past hour trying to get you to answer the door!”

Me: “I HAVE A F****** DOORBELL!”

(I grabbed the box, locked the door, and opened the box. Thankfully, the laptop was covered in a thick layer of foam things which seemed to have taken the brunt of the attack, but unfortunately, the screen had a pretty big crack in the corner. I took it to corporate who said that though I “broke” it because it was on my property, they’d take the old one and send a brand new one with a letter from the owner itself, as well as an apology letter from the delivery guy. My new laptop is perfect and I’m able to play my favorite games perfectly. That delivery guy, the manager told me, was promptly fired upon his delivery of the letter, banned from the store, got left with the damage bill for a $5,000 gaming laptop, and arrested for vandalism, since he broke my item and left a pretty big dent on the door.)

Tampon, Tamp-off

, , , , , , , | | Working | May 30, 2019

I work in one of the largest supermarkets in the UK, delivering groceries to customers at home. Today I saw something that actually made me laugh out loud.

Our team of pickers is sent out onto the shop floor to pick the items that customers order. I see a new picker being trained. His next item to pick is a pack of tampons. He walks up the aisle with the supervisor training him, looking incredibly nervous. He finds the tampons, identifies which box to get, and then, using his scanner, he nudges the box around to scan the barcode before using the scanner to sweep it into the tray. Both the supervisor and I are giggling at the seven-year-old style reaction to women’s hygiene products.

That said, I’ve also seen a male customer taking in the shopping pick up a packet of pads and stare at it like an unexploded bomb before his wife just sighed, took it from his hands, and laid it on the countertop.

Do most guys seriously not get how periods work?

Unfiltered Story #151771

, , | | Unfiltered | May 24, 2019

(I’m a delivery driver for a flower shop. I go to an address but no one answers. My boss tells me to call the customer’s number. When I dial it, it shows up as a number from Pennsylvania.)

Customer: “Uh…hello?”

Me: “Hi, this the deliveryperson from [Flower Company] and…”

Customer: “Huh?!”

Me: “There’s flowers for you, do you want me to leave it on your doorstep or have you pick it up later from the shop?”

Customer: “What? I don’t understand? Sweetie, you know that you’re calling Pennsylvania, right? My phone’s showing you as a Virginian?”

Me: “Yes, I know. This is the number that was given to me when the order was placed.”

Customer: “No, you’re calling Pennsylvania, understand? You’re from Virginia and you’re calling Pennsylvania!” *laughs like I’m absurd*

Me: *getting frustrated* “I said I know and…oh never mind.”

Customer: “Hold on, let me put my husband on.”

(Her husband came on and he understood immediately what I was trying to ask and told me to leave it at the door. Apparently his wife didn’t understand that different states could call one another or that doing so was silly.)

Unfiltered Story #147718

, , , | Unfiltered | April 22, 2019

Me: It’s $18.28

Customer: *holding hand out* I have the money.

Me: I need the money before I can give you the food.

Customer: That’s a first.

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