Shockingly Desperate To Get Internet

, , , , , | Right | September 25, 2018

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] tier three tech support. My name is [My Name]. How can I assist you today?”

Customer: “Hello, I think with the series of bad storms we had here, my Internet and TV got knocked out.”

Me: “Oh, yes, you must be in the Tampa area. I saw on the news about the series of storms that came through. I will be glad to help, and I apologize for the inconvenience.”

Customer: “To let you know, I did reset the modem and cable boxes once the power came back on.”

Me: “Good job, and thanks for letting me know this so I don’t have to ask you to do that again. Now, can you confirm your address to make sure I got the right one?”

(The customer confirms their address.)

Me: “Can you let me know what lights you are seeing on the Internet modem? We can get to the cable boxes in a moment.”

Customer: “I see the power light on, I see the uplink and download lights blinking… I also see my Wi-Fi lights 2.4 and 5 ghz on, but not blinking.”

Me: “What about the online light?”

Customer: “It’s off; even when I try to unplug and replug the modem it doesn’t even attempt to light up.”

(I look in his area and notice his house is the only one highlighted as offline. My tool allows me to run trace routes to figure out where the signal drops. It drops right at his house’s tap, which is located on a telephone pole.)

Me: “Sir, not to switch gears here, but can you also look at your cable boxes and let me know if you see either an online, linked, or globe symbol light on?”

(The customer checks and tells me no.)

Me: “Well, sir, you’ve been a great help, but I am afraid those storms did a number on your service. While I think the individual equipment is fine, I do notice signal drops right at your outside node.”

Customer: “You mean the little green box on the telephone pole?”

Me: “I am afraid so.”

Customer: “Oh… I thought you ran everything underground.”

Me: “Not all the time. It depends on city and area if we can run wires under or not. In this case, you are connected through a cable on the telephone pole.”

(The customer gets quiet, but I can hear him moving around like he is putting on something.)

Customer: “Well, I guess someone has to go up there?”

Me: “Yes, sir, let me schedule someone to come out.”

(Right as I say that, I hear a door open and wind picking up, making it harder to hear the customer.)

Me: “Sir? You still with me?”

Customer: “Yes, I am. How soon can you get someone out?”

Me: “Well, due to the storms, my soonest available would be two days from now, in the afternoon.”

Customer: “You mean I am going without my TV and Internet for two whole days? That’s unacceptable.”

Me: “I am sorry for that, and as much as I wish I could turn on those services, due to the storm I can’t even remote in to take a look.”

Customer: “Well, I demand a credit. And honestly, I’ve been a customer for years; why can’t you send someone out now?”

(We rarely send field technicians out the same day, plus his area is backed up due to the storms.)

Me: “Sir, I will be happy to give you a credit for the days you don’t have service, but I cannot send someone out until Thursday afternoon between two and four.”

(It is Tuesday at six pm.)

Customer: “Well, why can’t you send someone out now? Aren’t I a good customer?”

Me: “Yes, you are, but I need you to understand that we already scheduled techs to go out tonight to help fix other people issues who reported them sooner than you did.”

Customer: “Don’t give me that crap. I saw a tech on the next street over; why can’t you call him and tell him to swing by?”

Me: “That is because he has another job that he is already scheduled for—”

Customer: “Not more important than me. Call him; I don’t mind waiting.”

Me: “I am afraid I cannot do that.”

Customer: *sighs*

Me: “Sir, do you want me to schedule someone? I promise you they will be out there. In fact, I don’t mind calling you back to ensure it has been fixed.”

Customer: “I can’t believe you are going to make me wait. Tell you what. Since you are tier-three, walk me through how to fix the wire on the telephone pole. I may not have all the tools, but I am sure I can figure it out.”

(I hear the customer grunting as if he is climbing something.)

Me: “Um, sir, I admire your willingness to get your issue fixed, but—”

Customer: “LISTEN, BOY! I NEED MY SERVICES WORKING! ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME OR NOT?!”

Me: “Sir, do you realize how dangerous it is to be climbing a telephone pole. Especially during a storm?!”

Customer: “I NEED MY SERVICES TURNED BACK ON! ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME OR NOT?!”

Me: “Sir—”

(I hear the customer slip while on the phone, then make a joke about it, and then climb back down.)

Me: “Sir, are you okay?”

Customer: “I just took a look at the box. I was an electrician at one point, you know; I can easily figure this out.”

Me: “Sir, if you go up that telephone pole and do something wrong, you can not only make the situation worse by messing with the wrong wires, but you can seriously get hurt. Please let the field techs do this.”

(I hear the customer rustling with some tools. Moments later, his wife screams at him for climbing the telephone pole without a harness.)

Me: “Sir, are… you back up there?”

Customer: “Yes, I need my TV and Internet. What don’t you understand about that? Are you dumb or something? I pay for a service; I demand it work!”

Me: “You have every right to want your services to work, but I will schedule someone to come out there on Thursday. I cannot, however, tell you to climb up a pole to fix the tap outside. That is dangerous, especially with it raining. You can seriously injure–“

(The customer interrupts:)

Customer: “You must be one of those ‘politically correct’ millennials. Tell you what. Since you are useless, send the guy out so I can tell him how useless you are, and I will fix this my d*** self.” *hangs up*

(I scheduled the tech. When I got home that night, I heard about a man who electrocuted himself in Tampa on the news. I begin to panic, knowing that it could be the same guy. Lucky for me, it was someone else and not the customer.)

Making A Wrong State-ment

, , , , , , | Right | September 20, 2018

(I work selling tickets at a large movie theater chain.)

Customer: “Can I get two tickets for [Movie] at 3:30 pm?”

Me: “I am sorry, sir, but the movie began at 3:00 pm. The previews are actually about twenty minutes long, so you still have time to go in.”

Customer: “NO! I want the 3:30 show time.”

Me: “Sir, there is no 3:30 show time.”

Customer: “DON’T PLAY STUPID WITH ME! I KNOW THERE IS A 3:30 SCREENING, YOU IDIOT. SEE?!”

(He pulls out his phone and slams it against the box office glass. I motion for him to slide his phone through the small opening and make sure he is watching carefully as I scroll up to the top of the show time page)

Me: “Sir, as you can see, these are the show times for our location in California. You are currently in Florida.”

(He couldn’t even look me in the eyes after I slid his phone back. He proceeded to walk off without another word.)

Unfiltered Story #120942

, , , | Unfiltered | September 15, 2018

(A few years ago I was working at a Concession Stand for a [Movie Theater]. When we sell to our customers there’s basically a checklist we have to go through, one of the items on there is to ask if they would like a Rewards card. Barely anyone does but it’s still required. So as I’m ringing up a young couple I do the usual routine)

Me: And would you like to sign up for a [Reward Card] today?

Boyfriend: NO. Can you hurry up? We’re running late for our movie!

Girlfriend: (Whirls around to look at him) There is NO reason to be RUDE!

(I felt a little bad for the guy and quickly intervened)

Me: It’s quite alright ma’am, I’ll just ring up your order and you can be on your way.

(They left without anymore incident, but the next customer in line swaggered up to me with a big smile on his face)

Customer: Isn’t love grand?

(Somehow I stopped myself from laughing, because they were still in earshot)

Their Cup Runneth Over With Complaint

, , , , | Right | July 27, 2018

(I work for a very popular theme park that has a lot of resorts. Guests can purchase cups at the resorts to refill their drinks for free. The parks, however, don’t honor that. I get at least one or two guests a day that request a drink for their resort cups. Most of the time I tell them the parks don’t do that. But once in a while, if it’s a kid, or if I’m feeling nice, I’ll fill it for them, but warn them that other employees won’t.)

Guest: *approaches the counter I’m working at, with his wife and four children* “Hi, can we get drink refills?”

Me: “I’m sorry, this restaurant doesn’t offer refills—”

Guest: “No, for our resort cups.” *holds up cup*

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, sir, but the parks don’t honor drink refills from resort cups. “

Guest: “Ugh, you’re the third employee to tell me that! We’ve been lugging these around all day. It’s hot and humid, and these cups aren’t easy to carry!”

Me: “I understand, sir. If you want, I can fill them with water.”

(The guest’s wife bursts into tears, and the kids are beginning to look visibly distressed. I’m a little uneasy about this. I’m used to guests crying and breaking down in front of me. And I’ve had instances of kids crying just to get their way. But at the same time, I don’t like it when guests act like this.)

Guest: “If I wanted water, I would go to a f****** water fountain and fill them! We don’t want water! And now you’ve upset my wife and ruined our vacation!”

(I look at the family. After determining that, indeed, they are probably just exhausted and dehydrated, I decide to just fill the drinks and give them my usual warning.)

Me: “All right, sir, I’ll be more than glad to fill your cups.

Guest: “See? That’s not so hard is it?”

(I take all six of their cups and begin to refill them with their requested beverages, and hand them back to the guest.)

Me: “I just want to warn you, sir, not all employees will do this for you. These cups are meant for the resorts only. If you’re coming back on a different day, I would advise leaving the cups in your room, so you can better enjoy the park. Have a wonderful day.” *I smile cheerfully at him*

(The guest just glared at me, and walked away. The kids, however, lingered long enough to say thank you, and confirmed my theory that Mom and Dad were just tired and hot. I told the kids that it was nothing to be sorry for and gave them special straws. I probably didn’t have to do that, but I appreciated them staying behind to say thank you, at least.)

Unfiltered Story #116468

, , | Unfiltered | July 14, 2018

I was working tech support for a major desktop computer chain. One of our other phone centers was down, so we were getting twice the normal volume. The ticker on the wall reached over 150 calls in the queue, with a wait time over 45 minutes. The customers weren’t very happy, but most of the time they were happy to get their issues resolved fast so that we could go on to other calls. But then this one came in…

Me: Thank you for calling [Company] Tech Support, how may I help you today?

Caller: OH MY GOD! I have been on hold for over thirty minutes! How can you conduct business like this?? I am so upset that I had to wait for this long!!

(She continues to go on to complain about the long wait time for literally ten minutes before I’m finally able to get her calmed down)

Me: I apologize for the wait, but I’m here now and I’ll do everything I can to help you. What is it you’re calling about?

Caller: It says “Click Next to Continue.” What am I supposed to do?

Me: Um….. Click … Next …?

Caller: Ok, thank you.

(I was too dumb-struck to hang up after that, but it turned out that she was in the middle of reinstalling Windows from a previous call, who had hung up for the hour-long file copy to complete, just like we’re supposed to. I had to stay on with her for almost an hour to get all the drivers installed, but I was flabbergasted that someone had to call in just to be told to click Next, when it was literally the only thing they could have done!)

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