A Box Troll

, , , , , | | Right | May 6, 2019

(I help my parents put on a yard sale. Most of the morning goes without problem and we are pretty busy. Around noon, a dumpy old car pulls up. The lady that steps out is one of those “the world revolves around me” types — very fake tan, way too much makeup, latte in hand, and very over-the-top, loud clothes. I’m sitting in front of my house in the shade and she stomps right up to me, shoving other shoppers out of the way. She grabs a box near me, dumps out its contents, and shoves it into my arms.)

Customer: “Follow me around and keep track of what I take.”

(I’m a really quiet person, so I just stand and start following her. The box is very large, maybe two feet long, wide, and tall. She starts tossing junk into the box and I’m frantically trying to keep track of what she’s getting. This goes on for ten minutes. After she fills two large boxes, she whirls around to me.)

Customer: “I’ll give you $5 for all this junk.”

Me: *surprised* “Ma’am, I kept track as you asked me to, and the total is closer to $30. And I’m rounding down.”

(She tries to haggle with me for a while, but eventually, she stomps off to her car to loudly demand money from her driver. She stomps back to me and shoves the money in my face. As she’s doing so, she looks at my necklace.)

Customer: “Darling, I love your necklace.”

(She then reaches for it and tries to take it off my neck. Naturally, I back away, confused.)

Customer: “Darling, I said I love your necklace. That means I want it.”

(She tried again to snatch it. When I backed away again, she started trying to bribe me, but it was my favorite necklace so that wasn’t going to happen. After a while, she gave up and I helped her put her boxes in her car. As soon as she got in and the car started to drive away, she rolled down her window and made eye contact with me. I thought she was going to say thank you or goodbye, but no. She tossed her half-full latte out the window into my driveway. It splattered everywhere and they drove away. As if that wasn’t bad enough, when I went to count the money she had shoved at me, it was only $20 and not the $30 I had asked for.)

Flee Or Flea

, , , , , , | Related | April 30, 2019

My family went to Disney World years ago. My little brother — four years old at the time — loved Pluto more than any other character, and spent the entire trip down talking about how he couldn’t wait to see him in person.

We got there, and my parents took us into the small line to take pictures. My mom sent me up first, but my brother refused to go. No crying; he just shook his head and planted his feet. My parents couldn’t convince him, so he stayed with Dad, and Mom and I got our pictures done.

As we walked away, they asked my brother why he’d changed his mind. He shouted across the park: “WHAT IF HE HAS FLEAS?!”

Pluto is still his favorite character.

Unfiltered Story #144674

, , , | Unfiltered | March 21, 2019

I work in a popular theme in the stores. In my area we bounce around the entire area but have our “home” stores which we get scheduled kn most often. About 2 months before this story my friend from my home store has been promoted from part time to full time in another store and afterwards hadn’t been scheduled my store. She was missing her original home so one day we swapped shifts and I work in her new store which I had worked before but was not completely familiar with. In her home store there were 2 sections of the floor where everything was in boxes by names and then a display case of all the items in the section (minus the names, so you basically just had to know by the item). With nearly 30 different items I was only familiar with about 10 of them so most of my time on this section of the floor went similar to this:

guest: who did this one belong too?

me: good question, i have no idea. let’s go on a scavenger hunt

And then me and the guest would proceed to open all different names until we found the right one. Most guests found it funny or were very paitent and understanding that I didn’t usually work in that store. The ones that were in a hurry to get out I’d ask to wait a moment while I asked someone who did work in the store which box it was.

Overall the adventure was fun and I enjoyed the new location for a day.

I Know All In Español

, , , , , | Right | March 13, 2019

(I work for a famous theme park. As I’m bilingual, I wear a name tag that displays certain languages I can speak: Spanish and English. My family decides to come to see me for a week and I take the entire week off, of course, to be with them. On the first day of their vacation, we go to one of the parks. I’m walking down the streets talking to my family when, all of a sudden, a random man approaches me and begins jabbering away at me in rapid Spanish.)

Guest: “Do you know where the fast-pass kiosk is? I’ve been looking everywhere! Nobody can help me!”

Me: “Yes, it’s behind the walls.” *points toward it* “If you need any further assistance, a cast member can help you or will find someone who can.”

Guest: “Thank you.” *walks off*

Mom: “So, how did they know that you can speak Spanish and work here?”

Me: “I… I have no idea.”

(I double-checked to make sure I wasn’t wearing my name tag by mistake, despite being in regular clothes, and I have no Hispanic features. The funny part is, every time I went to the parks at my own leisure, I’d get stopped regularly by people asking for help. And not just at my park, but at others, as well. Not that I minded; my coworker friends and I decided that we all just have a certain look on our off time, and people just pick up on it and assume we know what we’re doing.)

Unfiltered Story #139773

, , , | Unfiltered | February 14, 2019

(I work at a popular theme park at one of our 3D attractions. We can fit a little over 400 people per show, but this requires essentially stuffing the lobby prior to everyone entering the theater. I’m the one directing people where to go at this time.)

Me: *into a microphone, standing in the middle of the crowd* Ladies and gentlemen, please continue moving all the way forward, up to the yellow line! If there’s any available space in front of you, please move in into it!

Random man right behind me: *VERY loudly, enough for the mic to pick it up* THERE AIN’T NO DAMN SPACE!

Me: *dumbfounded* I’m sorry…?

(I understand it’s crowded and hot, but seriously, do you want me to magically expand the lobby? Because I can’t do that.)

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