Skimming Over The Facts

, , , , , , | Right | October 18, 2017

(Hurricane Irma hit our area on Sunday night, knocking out power to most of the state. On Thursday, I venture out to a [Coffee Shop] to see if maybe I can get a cold drink and sit in the air conditioning for a while. They are open, but there is a sign on all three doors, at eye level, that says “LIMITED MENU AVAILABLE. We have no dairy products at this time but can use coconut milk, soy milk, and almond milk.” As I’m sitting near the counter, this happens:)

Customer #1: *walking back from the condiment bar* “Excuse me, could I get milk in this?”

Employee: “Would you like coconut, soy, or almond milk?”

Customer #1: “Skim milk.”

Employee: “I’m sorry; we don’t have any dairy right now.”

Customer #1: “Okay, I’ll have cream, instead.”

Employee: “Ma’am, that’s made with milk.”

Customer #1: “You should tell people before they order! This is so stupid!” *takes drink and leaves*

Me: *to employee* “How many times has that happened today?”

Employee: “Too many.”

(Not even 15 minutes later…)

Customer #2: “I want a [size] latte.”

Manager: “Do you want that made with soy, coconut, or almond milk?”

Customer #2: “What?”

Manager: “Soy, coconut, or almond milk?”

Customer #2: “None of those. Just regular milk.”

Manager: “I’m really sorry, but we don’t have any regular milk in the store. We can make a latte with another type—”

Customer #2: “It’s only 1:00. How can you be out of milk?”

Manager: “Ma’am, we had no power for three days. Everything had to be thrown out.”

Customer #2: “Why didn’t you just order more?”

Manager: “We had no power. Where would we have kept it?”

Customer #2: “Fine! I’ll go to the one on [Street]!”

Me: “Do they not understand how milk works, that it needs to be in a fridge?”

Manager: “I’m not sure anymore. Want to know something funny? The [Street] location is closed because it doesn’t have power. I think we’re the only [Store] open around here.”

Time To Come Clean With That Policy

, , , , , | Working | October 13, 2017

(After two long and wonderful days at nearby theme parks, we discover that my daughter has the stomach virus that has been going around her school. She vomits all over our hotel bathroom and herself, and has not yet been able to take a break. From previous experience with my other daughter the week before, I know that it might not end anytime soon, and we really need the use of our bathroom. I call housekeeping.)

Me: “Hi, I was hoping I could get some cleaning products from housekeeping, since a family member got sick in our bathroom.”

Staff Member: “I can send someone to clean the bathroom.”

Me: “Actually, I’d prefer to do it myself, since she’s very sick and can’t leave the bathroom. Do you have any cleaning wipes or spray I could use?”

Staff Member: “No, we cannot leave cleaning products in the rooms for safety reasons. I can connect you to the onsite store to see if they have any, or perhaps you could take a cab to a nearby pharmacy to purchase some.”

Me: *sarcasm* “So, there’s really a big problem with guests drinking the cleaning products?”

Staff Member: “No, but we don’t want someone to spray it in their eyes or something.”

Me: “Fine, connect me to the store.”

(The store doesn’t answer. I leave a message and they call me back.)

Me: “Hi, do you carry cleaning products?”

Store: “No, we don’t, but you can contact housekeeping if you need something cleaned.”

Me: “No, they won’t let me use their cleaning products. And I don’t want them to come in to clean right now.”

Store: “I can give you the number if a pharmacy that delivers.”

(I am annoyed that the hotel expects me to pay for delivery of cleaning products from an outside store so I can clean my hotel bathroom, but I just want to get off a pointless phone call.)

Me: “Never mind, thanks.” *calling housekeeping again* “Hi, can you send someone to clean my bathroom? I have a sick family member.”

(About an hour later, a housekeeper showed up with plastic bags, towels, and cleaning product. Fortunately, given that she was the one who was going to clean up vomit, it wasn’t hard to convince her that I really needed cleaning, but I couldn’t let her come into our bathroom where my daughter was actively vomiting. She put everything down, told me she was going to get us some clean towels, and left me with everything I needed to clean up. Obviously, the people on the phone were blindly following a policy that forbade giving guests cleaning products, but at least the housekeeper understood that I couldn’t just let her clean around my half naked vomiting kid. I’ve never been so happy to be able to clean up vomit, so my daughter could maintain her dignity, and the rest of us could have a clean bathroom. She even got a tip from us for not doing the cleaning.)

Sub-Standard Recognition Skills

, , , , , | Right | October 9, 2017

(I walk into a gas station and witness this exchange. A middle-aged man has a simple purchase, a bag of chips, and is attempting to use a card at the register, but it won’t scan. A small line begins to form.)

Clerk: “It’s not going through. Can I see the card?”

Customer: *starts to make a scene* “This is ridiculous. I just want to pay and get out of here!” *keeps trying to scan the card, but eventually hands over the card to them*

Clerk: “I’m sorry, sir; this is a gift card for [Sub Shop]. This is [Gas Station]. Unfortunately, I can’t take this card; do you have a different one?”

Customer: “Oh, this isn’t [Sub Shop]? No wonder you don’t have the chips I like!” *throws the bag of chips at the clerk and storms off*

Clerk: *visibly shaken* “Well, now I’ve seen everything. We don’t even make subs here.”

Manager: *to the clerk* “You should go take a break. That was a little intense.”

Me: “At least he didn’t try to order a sub. He would have really had a bad time.”

Never Rains But It Pours

, , , , | Right | October 3, 2017

Me: “Hi! Can I help you find anything today?”

Customer: “I’d like to return this visor I bought yesterday. It fell apart after I only wore it one time.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Did you want to exchange it for another item?”

Customer: “No, I just want my money back.”

Me: “Okay, not a problem. May I ask how the visor is damaged?”

(She proceeds to pull out a soaking wet, flimsy grass visor.)

Customer: “I only got to wear it today; once it started raining, it stopped working!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s a grass sun visor that isn’t meant to get wet.”

Customer: “But it’s supposed to hold up longer than just one day!”

Me: “And it does hold up for longer than a day, when used for its intended use of blocking the sun.”

(She then ran out in a huff because I wouldn’t refund her money for the damaged sun visor that she wore in the rain.)

A Hurricane Of Inconsideration

, , , , , | Right | September 29, 2017

(My coworker and I are at the area where we park strollers for our attraction. It’s the day before Hurricane Irma is supposed to hit the town, and the park is just absolutely dead. We have some guests, but not many.)

Me: *to a couple of people coming toward us* “Good morning! Please head down to your left!”

Guest: “I know it’s terrible that these catastrophes have happened, but they’ve really opened the gates for us! No lines!” *heads down to the left*

Me: *turns to my coworker* “Did she really just say that?!”

(Apparently the prospect of people losing their homes and their lives was fine if this woman didn’t have to deal with lines at a d*** theme park.)

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