Infarction Infraction

, , , , , , | Healthy | September 29, 2019

(I am on vacation with my family, and my fianceé and I have gone to one of several theme parks in the area. I have a medical condition that can cause severe heart palpitations, which can cause me to lose consciousness for a few minutes. We are standing in line for a ride when I begin to feel off; I know I’m about to have a bad episode and I tell my fianceé that I need to sit down. She understands and helps me get out of line, but we don’t make it far before I lose consciousness. As I am taller than she is — I’m 6’4” and she is 5’3” — she is unable to help me once I’m out and I fall to the ground. I wake up a few minutes later to the sound of my fianceé arguing with someone I don’t know.)

Fiancé: “Stop touching him like that! He doesn’t need CPR!”

Woman: “Of course he does! I’m a nurse and I know what a heart attack looks like!”

Me: *still very dazed* “What’s going on?”

(As I try to sit up, I’m forced back down onto the concrete.)

Fiancé: “Enough! Heart palpitations and heart attacks may look similar but they aren’t! If he was having a heart attack, he’d have the classic symptoms! He passed out because he has [specific medical condition]! Look at his medical alert bracelet, for f***’s sake!”

Woman: “People who have [specific medical condition] usually have an alert dog, and he doesn’t. Now let someone with actual medical training work!” *turns to me* “Now, son, you’re having a heart attack. I need you to calm your breathing down and–”

(By now, I’ve regained consciousness enough to know what is going on. I am still dazed, as I usually am after an episode, but I know this woman is full of it.)

Me: *sits up slowly, glaring at the woman before raising my medical alert bracelet* “I have [specific medical condition]. We are on holiday and I couldn’t bring my alert dog with me because she didn’t get her shots in time. Now, if you would kindly f*** off, all I want is some water and ice because I smacked my head when I fell.”

Woman: “How dare you speak to me like that?! I know what’s best for you! I’m a nurse!”

Me: “With all respect, kindly go f*** yourself. Any nurse would know the difference between palpitations and an infarction. I don’t know who you are, but if you try to do anything to me, I’m getting someone to call security and I’ll press charges.”

(The woman proceeded to yell, “I’m a nurse! I know what I’m doing!” and continued to scold my fianceé and me for “lying.” Security was called — by pro staff — and she was escorted away.)

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A Sad Sign Of The Times

, , , , , | Friendly | September 13, 2019

(I am at the water park with my older brother, my fianceé, and her two younger brothers. Her youngest brother is deaf and speaks primarily using ASL. While we are waiting in line, my fianceé, her brother, and I are speaking to each other with ASL, making jokes about how hot it is. Behind us is a woman who grows quite huffy with us throughout the thirty-minute wait.)

Woman: *to us, raising her voice in a very angry, “motherly” tone* “How dare you make those signs with your hands?! I didn’t know [Park] allowed gang members into their parks! Despicable!”

Fiance: “We’re speaking sign; my brother is deaf and he can’t hear us.”

Woman: “I don’t want your excuses! I want you out of here!”

Fiance: “For talking with our hands? Lady, you’re off your meds if you think they’re going to kick us out for speaking sign language.”

Woman: “We’ll just see about that!” *stomps out of the line, presumably to find a security guard*

(We go through the rest of the line without seeing her, nor a security guard. We do see her when we get off the ride, however, being told by security that they won’t do anything.)

Woman: *at the top of her lungs, so everyone around the ride can hear* “That’s it! I’ll be speaking to Mr. [Park Founder] about this!”

Me: “I hope she has a ouija board!”

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Shining The Torch For The Navy

, , , , , , | Working | August 28, 2019

I come from the Rust Belt. Joining the military to get good job training and post-service education benefits is pretty common in our area, and in 1982 my youngest sister enlisted in the Navy.

If you have ever been through boot camp, you are aware that the non-commissioned officers who act as drill instructors are a formidable bunch and can reduce a recruit to jelly with one ferocious glare. My sister, like the rest of her unit, was terrified of them.

One night, she was chosen to stand watch and dutifully set out to patrol the barracks, armed only with a heavy, Navy-issue flashlight. In the military, you always carry stuff in your left hand so your right is free for saluting. My sister was not yet “snapped in” to this, and from force of habit, during her watch had switched the flashlight to her right hand.

When the Petty Officer of the Watch showed up unexpectedly, [Sister], in a panic, snapped to attention and saluted. With her right, flashlight-bearing, hand.

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Unfiltered Story #160182

, , , | Unfiltered | August 21, 2019

(I work in a gas station well known for its coffee and sandwiches, I have just finished working a 15 hour shift and it is 5:30 in the morning, an older gentlman approaches my coffee station and starts pouring a cup of decaf, I was told off the day before for not interacting with customers enough)

Me: Good morning Sir, Oh, you are getting decaf? I’m so tired that I couldn’t possibly drink decaf!
Old man: (Throwing his drink and cup in the trash and storming off angrily)
Me: Oh… Ohkay
(A few minutes pass and I forget about the incident until my General Manager approaches me)
Manager: That gentleman said you were extremely rude to him and made fun of him for the type of coffee he was drinking, watch what you say to people

The Bar For Failure Is Very High

, , , , , , | Related | August 2, 2019

This occurred over twenty years ago when my sister and I were both very young. We were at a popular theme park for families with our parents. We went on to a particular ride that raised you up high and then dropped you several times.

While I’m sure the safety measurements were eventually upgraded, at the time, the only thing keeping you in the ride was a single long bar that lay across everyone’s lap. Naturally, my parents’ adult thighs were larger than my skinny four-year-old ones, so there was quite some space between me and the bar.

The problem became obvious when we experienced the first drop and I easily slipped out of my seat to hover about two feet above the falling car. My dad reached up and pushed me back down into the seat just before the ride came to a sudden stop. While the car rose slightly in preparation for another fall, my parents scooched together to pin me between them. During the next fall, my older sister slipped out now that my dad wasn’t pinning her in with his weight. She made it even higher than me, and my dad had to grab her by the ankle and pull her back into her seat. She spent the rest of the ride hugging the lap bar so that she wouldn’t fly out again.

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