I used to work at a very large consulting company that was famous (or infamous) for sending all of its interns to Orlando for a weeklong onboarding/training session. This was to ostensibly train college grads on how not to lose clients as soon as they start, but it was also a great way to filter out people who… still lived spiritually in a college frat house.

On my intern’s second day, he was called out of my training by HR. He came back pale as a ghost and told me he had a family emergency and needed to leave work. I never saw him again.

Later that day, I decided to crash a neighboring office’s happy hour (consulting actually encourages college-level drinking after the first year or so). A close friend is telling a hilarious story about an intern who got fired that day.

Supposedly, the intern had come back to his hotel so drunk that he couldn’t find his room and tried to book a new room on the company card. A few other interns tried to save him by stashing his drunk ass in someone else’s room. He woke up in the middle of the night and tried to fight the original occupants of the room, whom he was convinced were actually inside his room. Security was called.

As you can probably guess, this turned out to be my intern.

HR never actually informed me that he got fired.

I worked quick service food at Disney World in the past. A guest comes to my location:

Guest: “I have an allergy to pineapple, but I want the Dole Whip, please. Just keep the pineapple flavor, but none of the actual juice.”

Me: “Sorry, but the Dole Whips get their flavor from real pineapple. Pineapple is actually blended into the mix. I can offer you the vanilla soft serve instead?”

Guest: “Pfft! As if there’s any real fruit in any of your s***! You’re just being lazy!”

Me: “Sir, everything is pre-blended, so it is exactly the same amount of effort for me to serve you the pineapple or the vanilla flavor.”

Guest: “So either you’re being lazy, or you’re refusing to accommodate an allergy, which is even worse! You’re literally ruining my vacation! I’ve had it before, so just quit being difficult and give me my Dole Whip.”

All allergies are ultimately handled by coordinators and above anyway, so I tell her:

Me: “I’ll get a coordinator to complete your allergy request.”

The coordinator is just as confused as I am after trying to explain the same thing. The coordinator ends up giving her a cup of vanilla soft serve, and the woman gives me a triumphant death glare, keeping eye contact as she takes a bite and walks away, seemingly satisfied.

I work at a theme park that has a combination of thrill rides and zoo/safari attractions.

I worked at a rollercoaster, where the minimum height to ride was 48 inches, so as to be certain the restraints would fit. I had a pair of parents (mom and dad) bring up a small child who looked about two or three.

Me: “Sorry, but he’s way too small for this ride. For safety reasons, I can’t let him on.”

Dad: “…We’ll risk it.”

Me: “Uh… sir, I’m not giving you a choice. He can’t go on the ride. You and your partner can ride separately while one looks after your son.”

Dad: “I’m his father. I said we’ll risk it.”

Me: “Sir, that’s like going on the jungle safari tour and placing your son outside the car to be with the lions. Would you risk that?”

Mom: “We’ll ride separately… thanks.”

I made sure they both rode while one held their son, who was crying the whole time, not because he couldn’t go on the ride, but because he was scared of it.

Our theme park is very large, and as a result we rent strollers to families with kids if they haven’t bought their own. We even do double strollers for families with two kids.

A family is returning a rented double stroller (two wheels in the back, one in the front), and the dad starts complaining.

Customer: “The stroller kept malfunctioning all day. I want a refund.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Can you explain the nature of the malfunction?”

Customer: “When the kids got out of the stroller, it kept falling backward!”

Me: “You currently have a lot of bags and items in the back of the stroller. Have they been there all day?”

Customer: “Duh, we’re not gonna carry them around when we have the stroller, are we?”

Me: “So that’s why it was falling backward, sir. That’s not a malfunction, so I can’t offer a refund.”

Customer: “Are you stupid or re****ed? Do I have to explain to you that a stroller that keeps falling to the ground is f***ed up?”

Me: “Sir, do I have to explain a seesaw to a grown man with children of his own?”

He didn’t appreciate my response, but it seemed to get the point across that he wouldn’t be getting a refund.

I was shopping at an off-price retail store, looking through candles at an end cap. My mother had gone to the bathroom, and my service dog was lying next to me.

I’m kneeling down, doing my thing, when I see a cart come up out of the corner of my eye. I assumed it was my mom, so I ignored it.

But a couple of seconds later, the cart moved uncomfortably close. 

I look up, and of course, it’s not my mom.

This random woman stares at me. Intentionally looks behind me, then back to me. I can see the aisles on either side of her, both of which are empty.

After a few seconds of me processing everything, I say, while gesturing to the aisles to the left and right of her:

Me: “You can go around.”

Woman: “Yes, I can.”

She intentionally flicks her eyes past me again before returning eye contact, as if she is expecting me to jump out of her way.

After a second of me looking even more confused, she says:

Woman: “You know, I have a disability too.”

Me: “That’s not even the problem here.”

She stares me down for a bit longer before huffing and turning her cart down the aisle to the left, which has been clear the whole time, and while glaring at me, she says:

Woman: “No wonder you’re living off the government.”

I just barely managed to get out, “I have a job, thanks.” Before she was out of earshot.