A Hundred Bucks Is All It Takes To Learn Telepathy

, , , , , | Right | February 19, 2019

(A lady comes in to buy ink for her printer. She buys a combo pack that has both the black ink and tri-color cartridge, and also gets one extra tri-color cartridge by itself. She then comes up to check out.)

Customer: *hands me a $15-off-$75 coupon*

Me: “Oh, right now your total is $63; did you want to get anything else?”

Customer: “I guess. Get me another combo pack.”

(I go get and another combo pack and ring it up.)

Me: “Okay, now your total is $107 before the coupon.”

Customer: “What? Why so much?”

Me: “Well, each combo pack was $42, and the extra color cartridge is $23.”

Customer: “Wait, why did you scan that extra color cartridge?!”

Me: “Oh, well, you brought it up with you. Did you not want it?”

Customer: “No! Why did you scan it?! A hundred dollars is way too much; you should have known I didn’t want it.”

Me: “Um… All right. I’ll remove it.”

(I remove the extra cartridge and apply the coupon.)

Me: “Your total is $63 now.”

Customer: “See, now isn’t that better and easier when it’s done right?”

Me: “Yep.”

The Cup Is Definitely Not Half Full

, , , | Right | February 19, 2019

(While working my zone, I notice a [Coffee Place] cup left on one of the displays. There are three people around, so I assume it’s one of theirs and leave. Five minutes later, no one is around and the cup is still there. We’re allowed to leave cups unattended for five minutes before tossing them, so I leave it and come back five minutes later to see it’s still there. At this point, I have to throw it away, so I go over to it for the first time to find it empty. I throw it out. Twenty minutes later I overhear this:)

Customer: “I left my [Coffee Place] here and now it’s gone!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, someone must have taken it and drank it or thrown it out.”

Customer: “Why would they do that?”

Coworker: “Probably because no one was near it.”

Customer: “But it was mine!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, really. I’ll ask around and see if anyone saw it, but there’s nothing I can do about it.”

(The girl leaves and my coworker comes to me.)

Coworker: “Did you throw out a [Coffee Place] cup?”

Me: “Yeah, it was empty. I also let it sit for about ten minutes and no one claimed it.”

Coworker: “Well, she came back for it.”

Me: “I threw it out twenty minutes ago.”

Coworker: *long pause* “It took her thirty minutes to realize she didn’t have her coffee.”

The Mutant Kind…

, , , , | Right | February 14, 2019

(I work in a deli.)

Customer: “What kind of ham is turkey?”

Unfiltered Story #139773

, , , | Unfiltered | February 14, 2019

(I work at a popular theme park at one of our 3D attractions. We can fit a little over 400 people per show, but this requires essentially stuffing the lobby prior to everyone entering the theater. I’m the one directing people where to go at this time.)

Me: *into a microphone, standing in the middle of the crowd* Ladies and gentlemen, please continue moving all the way forward, up to the yellow line! If there’s any available space in front of you, please move in into it!

Random man right behind me: *VERY loudly, enough for the mic to pick it up* THERE AIN’T NO DAMN SPACE!

Me: *dumbfounded* I’m sorry…?

(I understand it’s crowded and hot, but seriously, do you want me to magically expand the lobby? Because I can’t do that.)

The “Race” For Security

, , , , | Right | February 13, 2019

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I need my balance.”

Me: “I’ll be happy to assist. I do need to verify your information.”

(Other than his name, he does not answer any security questions correctly.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but for security reasons, you will need to contact a branch during business hours.”

Caller: “No, you will help me now.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but…”

Caller: “No, you listen here. You sound like a black guy. I’ll go to every branch and tell the managers you called me a cracker and you have been racist.”

Me: “Absolutely, sir. You do what you need to do; however, I should let you know that this call is being recorded and they can pull this call and listen to it.”

Caller: *hangs up*

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