Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 22

, , , , | Right | July 27, 2021

I’m a manager at a fast food location. I have been chit-chatting with some of my employees when I hear shouting behind me. When I turn around, I see an older gentleman cursing out my sixteen-year-old cashier.

Me: “[Cashier], why don’t you go to the back for a second? I think [Coworker] needs your help.”

Taking the hint, she shoots me a grateful look and scurries away. I then turn to the customer.

Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Customer: *Rudely* “They f****** messed up my food! I want a refund!”

Me: “Okay, do you have the food they messed up?”

Customer: “Yes.”

He hands me the items, which are promptly thrown into the waste bin. I then process his refund and give it to him. These items are on a two-for-$4 sale, meaning he only paid $4 for them. Originally, the messed-up items would have totaled around $7. When our system gives refunds, it automatically refunds things at full price. Also, this customer’s order was around $10 due to him ordering other things.

Me: *Hands him the refund* “Here you are, sir. I apologize for the mess up.”

Customer: *Still rude* “I want a refund on my whole order!”

Me: “Okay. I see that you ordered drinks. Were they messed up?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Did you drink them?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “You ordered sides. Were those messed up?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Did you eat those?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Well, since your other food was fine, I am not refunding the rest of your order.”

The customer starts to get angry again and says a few choice words.

Me: “Sir, this is a business. I am not paying you to eat here. You pay us to eat here. If you continue to swear at me and my staff, I will call the police.”

The customer finally gave up and slunk back to his seat. I heard from the staff that he came back about three weeks later and behaved himself, and he hasn’t been seen since.

Related:
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 21
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 20
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 19
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 18
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 17

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If There Was Ever A Guy Who Needed A Pizza…

, , , , | Right | July 22, 2021

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Shop]! This is [My Name]; how may I help you?”

Customer: *Speaking slowly in a drunken raspy grumble* “…burritos?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we don’t actually have burritos here.”

Customer: “Awww… subs?”

Me: “No, sir, I’m sorry. We have pizza, wings, cheese sticks… things like that.”

Customer: “Ohhhh…”

There’s a long pause.

Me: “Would you like some pizza today, sir?”

Customer: “Yeeaaahhh… what’s the smallest you have?”

Me: “That would be the small. It’s a ten-inch pizza.”

Customer: *Grumbles slowly* “Oohhhhh… I want sausage… pepperoni… and finely chopped onions.”

Me: “Our onions are actually sliced into thin strips. Is that okay?”

Customer: *Grumbles disapprovingly*

Me: *Stifling laughter* “So, no onions, then?”

Customer: *In low, raspy grumble* “Noooooo… Throw some hot peppers on there.”

Me: “Jalapeños or banana peppers?”

Customer: *Drunkenly* “Ba-na-na.”

Me: *Stifling more laughter* “Anything else on there for you, sir?”

Customer: “Finely chopped tomatoes.”

Me: “Our tomatoes are diced, so they’re in kind of little cubes.”

Customer: *Low raspy grumble* “Cuuuubes…”

Me: *Trying not to crack up laughing* “Will that be all for you today, then, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be [total], and we’ll have that out to you in about forty-five minutes.”

Customer: “What’s the price?”

Me: *Repeats the total*

Customer: *Low raspy grumble* “Ooohhhhh…”

The delivery driver has been standing next to me the whole time.

Delivery Driver: “I can’t wait to meet this guy.”

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We Don’t Like The Tones Of This Caller

, , , , | Right | July 20, 2021

I work in a call center where we take payments over the phone. I have verified all account information with this caller.

Me: “How can I assist you today?”

Customer: “I’d like to make a payment.”

Me: “Okay, are we using a card on file or a new card?”

Customer: “New card.”

Me: “Okay, go ahead with your card number whenever you are ready.”

The caller starts pushing buttons.

Me: “Ma’am, are you there?”

Customer: “Did you get the number?”

Me: “No, it sounds like buttons were being pressed.”

Customer: “Yeah, I didn’t want anyone to hear my number.”

Me: “You have to say it out loud for me to get it.”

Customer: “I don’t think it works like that.”

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Sadly, There Are People THAT Racist

, , , , , | Right | July 14, 2021

Customer: “And I also want a pound of white American cheese.”

Me: “I’m afraid we’re sold out of that kind.”

Customer: “What? You mean you don’t have any more?!”

Me: “Yeah. It’s on sale, so everyone’s been buying it. But we still have the yellow American.”

Customer: “No! I want white American! I want white cheese! NOT N***** CHEESE!”

Me: “Uh… you know what, I just…”

I walked outside and stared plaintively into the horizon for several minutes.

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Sovereign Citizen, Stupid Coworker

, , , , , | Legal | July 12, 2021

I work in a nursing home. My coworker and I don’t get along very well, mostly due to personality conflicts. He’s a Sovereign Citizen, a group of people who think they are above the law due to old irrelevant documents that date back to pre-Civil War. I know little about the movement because I don’t like their attitude when it comes to the law and they just generally get on my nerves. My coworker is no exception. I work in a different department from him — I’m in housekeeping and he’s in maintenance — but we share a supervisor.

One day, said supervisor asked me to drive [Coworker] to a nearby gas station to fill up some gas cans for the building’s generators since they were nearly empty. Though I didn’t really want to drive [Coworker] anywhere, I agreed, since he didn’t have a car, and really, I can put up with him for a total of half an hour, right? Well, on the way back to the building after getting our cargo, I accidentally drove past a stop sign due to a brief lapse in my attention due to trying my hardest to ignore my coworker’s rambling.

Me: *Looking back for a second* “S***, I blew a stop sign.”

Coworker: *Waves a hand* “Eh, I drive past them all the time if I don’t see anyone else.”

Me: “Well, I try not to regardless. We got lucky that there was no one at that intersection. It’d be just my luck if I got pulled…”

Sure enough, when I looked at my rear-view mirror, there were blue lights, and the police cruiser that had shown up out of nowhere chirped its siren.

Me: “…over.”

I sighed and turned on my hazards, slowly pulled over to the side of the road, put my car in park, and started rolling my window down.

Coworker: “Don’t roll it down too far; you don’t need to—”

I interrupted him and rolled my window most of the way down.

Me: “[Coworker], I’m going to need you to stop right now, okay?”

Coworker: *Offended* “Hey, I’m just trying to help. They don’t own the roads. You’re just traveling—”

Me: “No, [Coworker], I’m driving, and I’m not putting up with your Sovereign Citizen, or Freeman of the Land, or whatever s*** today.”

I pulled out my license and then leaned over to open my glove box for my registration and insurance, but my coworker had pinned his knee to the door.

Me: “Move your knee so I can get my documents.”

Coworker: “No.”

Me: *Stares at him* “What? No, we’re not doing this right now.”

I looked back at the officer who had just arrived at my window, smiled politely, if strained, and opened my mouth to speak, but my coworker interjected.

Coworker: “He doesn’t have to give you anything! [My Name], keep your license. They’re just pulling you over because they have nothing better to do except bother people who are lawfully traveling—”

I shook my head, wide-eyed, at the cop, who looked at me with surprise at my passenger’s outburst, trying to communicate that I did not agree with anything my passenger was saying as he kept ranting about maritime law or something.

Me: “Here, take my license before he tries to grab it from me.” 

I held it out to the officer, outside of the window and out of my coworker’s reach.

Coworker: “Hey, stop! You don’t have to—”

I finally snapped and rounded on my coworker, screaming in his face.

Me: “Yes, I do! Shut the f*** up, [Coworker]! You’re not helping! Stop talking! I’m sick of your bulls*** and I’ve got half a mind to trespass you out of my f****** car! One more word, [Coworker], and I’ll tell this officer to drag you out in handcuffs! Now, MOVE YOUR F****** LEG!”

I glared, panting hard through my nose at my coworker, who stared right back, looking terrified, before he shrank back into the passenger seat and pulled his knee away from the glove compartment. I tugged it open, grabbed my documents with shaking hands, and turned back to the police officer, who stood patiently with his hand out, looking bemused but not otherwise. Red-faced and shaking, I handed over my documents.

Me: “Sorry about that, officer. Is this about the stop sign I blew back there?”

Officer: “No problem, sir, and yes. Just so you know, if you do trespass him out of your car, you would need to make a statement for us, which might take a little while longer.”

Me: “As long as I can call my supervisor and let him know I’ll take longer than expected, I’m fine with that.”

Officer: *Stepping back toward his cruiser* “Just give me a few minutes.”

Several minutes went by, and I didn’t even look at my coworker, but out of the corner of my eye, I could see that he was fidgeting and looking my way. I couldn’t tell if he was sulking or scared, but I took a swig of water and composed myself by the time the cop returned.

Officer: *Handing me back my documents* “I’m just going to give you a warning today. Promise me you’ll pay attention to those stop signs in the future, sir.”

Me: “Yes, sir. Thank you, and I promise.”

The officer wished me a good day, and I put my documents and the warning in the glove compartment and my wallet back in my pocket, and finally looked my coworker in the face. He looked back at me for a second and then turned away without making any effort to apologize or even look ashamed. He was put out.

The first chance I got, I went to my supervisor to report the interaction to him and told my side of the story first, including the fact that I swore at him and threatened to have him trespassed out of my car and potentially arrested. He was shocked at first, but I could tell he was thinking about the person [Coworker] was, and he let out a sigh, telling me that he would still hear [Coworker]’s side but that I likely wouldn’t get into trouble.

Sure enough, [Coworker] came to [Supervisor] with a similar story, though he claimed I threatened to shoot him on the side of the road, despite the fact that I don’t own a firearm. The next day, [Supervisor] approached me.

Supervisor: “[My Name], would you like to start training for a new position in maintenance that just opened up?”

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