(I work at a popular park where they have daily parades, unless it rains.)

Guest: *frantically runs into the store, child dangling under her arm* “Can I take this?”

Me: “Take…?”

(The guest is now placing her child on the ground while trying to open the disposable camera box she is now holding.)

Guest: “Yeah, Barry Bonds is the grand marshall. My husband loves him… Can I just take this?”

Me: “No… ma’am… you have to pay for it. Then you can take it.”

Guest: *looking at me in disbelief* “What?! It’s Barry Bonds; you know, the baseball player?”

Me: “You need to pay for it no matter who the grand marshall is, ma’am. You pay for it and you can take it anywhere.”

Guest: “This is ridiculous!” *she runs out cursing me; the child runs out after her because she had forgotten him*

(I work as a security officer for a local theme park. Occasionally, the parent company will rent out the park after hours to host private events, usually corporate parties for big companies. When this story takes place, I and the other officers are sweeping out the day guests, and we’ve been instructed to be a little more insistent since catering has to set up for a private event an hour after park close. The tables and lights are already set up as we’re waiting on the last guests to exit a ride, when two teenagers approach me. Keep in mind, all of the event guests will be arriving by bus after park close.)

Guest #1: “Where do we go for the special event?”

Me: “I’m sorry, you’re part of the event?”

Guest #2: “Yeah! Well, uh, his dad is. And he’s getting us in.”

([Guest #1] then puts on his sunglasses (it’s dark) and crosses his arms like some corporate executive.)

Me: *starting to laugh, thinking it’s a joke* “Are you sure?”

([Guest #2] looks from his friend to me, starting to laugh nervously.)

Guest #2: “Yeah, uh, what’s wrong?”

Me: “Uh, maybe you’re here for [Other Event in Other Park]?”

Guest #1: “Oh, is it in [Other Park]?”

Me: “Well, we have a couple of events going on tonight in different locations. What company is your dad with?”

Guest #1: “Uh…” *looks at friend* “…Microsoft?”

Me: *smiling knowingly* “There’s no event for Microsoft.”

Guest #2: “Oh, well, we’ll just find out where to go somewhere else!”

(They both stormed off, [Guest #1] still wearing his sunglasses. By that point the final guests were getting off the ride and my coworkers all had a good laugh about it. I gotta give props to the two of them for sticking with their ruse to the end, though.)

(For a school trip the school band and color guard are at Disneyland, I’m with my friend at one of the stores. I’m very fond of the Duffy I bought when I was younger, which is advertised as Mickey Mouse’s teddy bear. The company started advertising a Shelly-May, advertised as Minnie Mouse’s teddy bear. I tell my friend about this and I’m not very happy.)

Me: “They started making a female Duffy! I think it’s just the same but pink and with eyelashes! Why do they need to make a teddy bear all girly for it to be for girls? Ugh.”

(We turn the corner and the new Shelly-May is on display. The teddy bear is very beautiful and adorable, not at all like I had described it. I immediately fall in love with it.)

Me: *picks up bear* “I need to have this.”

Friend: “All that feminism just went down the drain in five seconds.”

I work at the biggest theme park in Canada. I worked at one of the most popular stores in the park and., even though my shift would end at 11:30, would often stay until 12:00-12:30 on most nights.

We are given breaks every 4-5 hours and my last break was 4.5 hours ago, so I am really hungry. As I am being counted out I see a Timbits (aka doughnut holes) box in the trash.

Me: “Ooh, Timbits.” *goes to take it out*

Supervisor: “Ew [My name], it was in the trash.”

Me: “But it’s in a box so it’s okay.”

Supervisor: “Stop while I still have respect for you.”

Needless to say, I didn’t eat the Timbits but my dad did take me to 24 hours Denny’s afterwards for a late dinner.

I don’t do drugs, drink any alcohol, or go to any parties so I am pretty sheltered. However, we get people from all over the city at (Theme Park) so often I hear language or phrases I am not used to

I am approached by (Coworker) who always comes to work high and is a very slow worker as a result. It is like pulling teeth working with her.

Coworker: Hey (My name) want to buy a dime bag?

Me: What’s a dime bag?

Coworker: Uh…never mind

On my break, I googled what that meant and afterwards approached my manager

Me: (Manager) I was approached by (coworker) who wanted to sell me drugs….like marijuana. She often comes to work high and I end up pulling more weight and being overloaded.

Manager: (laughs) Oh he offered me some too. He’s just joking.

Me: Ya…I don’t think so….

Luckily HR was more proactive!

Some people may call me a snitch but I care about my job and I want employees who will help me succeed, not drag me down. And Marijuana is not legal yet in Canada, it is a controlled drug so he was breaking the law. I am taking Police Foundations in University and my dad and uncle are both lawyers, so I felt very uncomfortable letting someone get away with breaking the law.