Bad Popcorn Is Stoney

| IL, USA | Right | April 18, 2011

(A customer buys a medium popcorn and then spills it in the theater. We don’t usually give refills on mediums, but since he spilled it, we tell him we’ll refill it.)

Customer: “I left the bag in the theater.”

Me: “That’s okay, we can refill it. Just bring me the bag.”

Customer: “Okay. Wait, do you mean a bag of weed, or the popcorn bag?”

Me: “Uh, the popcorn bag will do.”

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Pick It Before The Ticket

| Canada | Right | April 13, 2011

(A girl comes up to my till. She’s fake tanned with bleached hair and nails so long she can barely text while she talks to me.)

Customer: “I need one ticket.”

Me: “Sure, what movie?”

Customer: “Just one ticket, please.”

Me: “Yes, but I need to know which movie the ticket is for.”

Customer: “What? Why can’t you just give me a ticket?”

Me: “Because I have to select what movie to give you a ticket for before I can print it out.”

Customer: “It’s a funny one with that guy. Just get me a ticket to it.”

Me: “We have several comedies right now. You’ll have to be more specific.”

Customer: “Do you know how to do your job? Give me a ticket and I’ll tell you what movie I’m seeing after!”

Me: “That’s not how it works. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Fine! Let me go see what movie my friends want to see.”

(She goes over to a group of girls who are all dressed exactly like her and texting on their phones. She comes back a couple minutes later.)

Customer: “The movie we’re seeing is [movie title].”

Me: “We’re not showing that movie here.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me that before?”

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Modern Technology Can Pass By In A Blur, Part 2

| Rogers, AR, USA | Right | April 8, 2011

Customer: “Hi, I’m here to see Sanctum!”

Me: “Alright! Here are your 3D glasses.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s 3D? I don’t do well with those. Is there a 2D version?”

Me: “No, ma’am. We only have 3D.”

Customer: “Well, do I have to wear the glasses?”

Me: “Well, you don’t have to. But the screen will be blurry if you don’t.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, can you un-blur it for me?”

 

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Time Waits For No Madam

| Vejle, Denmark | Right | April 8, 2011

(I’m selling tickets to a mother and her 6-year-old daughter.)

Daughter: “Mom, when can we see the movie?”

Mother: “It starts in fifteen minutes.”

Daughter: “And how long does that take? An hour?”

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His Movie Choice Is Rock Solid

| Tigard, OR, USA | Right | April 5, 2011

(I’m selling tickets. An elderly man walks up with his two granddaughters.)

Customer: “What movies do you have for kids?”

Me: “Well, we have Gnomeo and Juliet in regular or 3D or Tangled.”

Customer:Ga-nomeo and Juliet. We’ve already seen Tangled.”

Me: “Yes. Gnomeo and Juliet is really the only other movie we have for kids.”

Customer: “Okay. Two little ladies and one really old guy for Ga-nomeo and Juliet.” *pauses* “I’m so old, I invented rocks.”

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