I love having conversations with my students about their post-school plans. Some have definite plans. Others need help with their next steps. Then there is this conversation I had this morning.

Me: “So, what do you want to do when you get out of here?”

Student: “I’m getting tacos, maybe a torta.”

Me: “No, I mean when you graduate.”

Student: “Oh! I wanna move to California and be a lineman. They make a ton of money.”

Me: “That’s a great idea! We can research what you will need to do in order to get there.”

Student: “Then my BIG goal is to buy a big-ass house and throw a big-ass party. My mom will be so mad at me when I call to get bailed out!”

Me: “…”

Student: “Yeah, that’s my dream!”

Me: “I don’t think I can help researching that.”

I work at a chain convenience store.

A few years ago, it was Mother’s Day, and my grandparents had a reservation for a buffet at an event hall. It’s a holiday, so everybody works for four hours. Despite our reservation being at 1 PM, my grandpa is insistent about leaving early and is in my store’s parking lot fifteen minutes before my shift is set to end at 12:30.

After trying to bide my time to finish my shift and a few texts and a phone call, I decide I’d better go. I am with a pretty new coworker.

Me: “Hey, I’m going to check the cups and counter, and then I have to leave. [Coworker #2] comes in at 12:30. Do you think you can handle a few minutes by yourself?”

Coworker #1: “Yeah, sure. Go ahead. I should be fine.”

I fixed the cups and left at 12:20 PM. I go back into the store later that afternoon. [Coworker #2] is still working.

Coworker #2: “Well. You have some gall showing up around here after what you did to that poor girl.”

Me: *Confused.* “What?”

Coworker #2: “Yeah, when I came in, the place was a mess, cups were empty, nothing was done.”

Me: “That makes no sense. She was here by herself for less than ten minutes. What time did you come in?”

Coworker #2: “12:55.”

I worked at a fast-food place that had ‘Chicken Fingers’ in the name. A couple came in just after the lunch rush. They stare at the menu for a few minutes, looking at each other, and the man comes up to the counter and asks:

Customer: “What you got besides chicken?”

Me: “We’re a chicken restaurant, sir. Our menu is small but high quality.”

Customer: “And what precisely are people who don’t want chicken supposed to eat?”

Me: “You could order some sides of fries or coleslaw.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! What else have you got?!”

Me: “Sir, this is [Fast Food Place] Chicken Fingers. It’s in the name. If you’re not in the mood for chicken, fries, or coleslaw, this isn’t the place for you today.”

They ended up getting lemonades and muttering angrily the whole way out.

I live in central Ohio. Restaurants everywhere. This was not the only spot for miles. There was a McDonald’s next door and an Applebee’s across the street.

I’m the fitting room attendant. A customer has been using our fitting rooms for over an hour, trying on a lot of clothes. She walks up to me with another pile of clothes that she’s tried on, putting one into the ‘buy’ pile and the rest to be discarded.

Customer: “By the way, I’m getting hungry. Do you do lunch orders?”

Me: “Uh, we’re a clothing store, ma’am. There’s lot of food options in the mall.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I want to keep trying on clothes. I’m gonna buy a lot with you guys, so I’m thinking lunch. A turkey sub would be good.”

Me: “Ma’am, just to make sure I’m understanding you, are you asking us to order you some lunch?”

Customer: “Yes! So that I can keep trying on clothes uninterrupted! I’m going to spend big with you guys, so it’s in your interests to keep me in the store trying on clothes!”

Me: “That’s not a service we offer, ma’am. If you’re hungry, you can leave your clothes with me to hold while you get some lunch in the mall, and then you can come back and—”

Customer: “—When I’m gambling in Vegas, the casinos bring drinks and snacks to me at the slot machines to keep me there.”

Me: “This is not something we do in Cleveland, ma’am.”

Customer: “If I leave this store to go have my lunch, there’s a risk of me not coming back. Do you want that on your hands? I’m a big spender!”

We’re a famous and popular international chain, with most of our clothing items costing between $20 and $50. Her big spender total (seven items) came to about $200 so far.

Me: “I can live with that risk, ma’am.”

Customer: *Drops the clothes on the floor.* “This is terrible service!”

She walks out and, as far as I can tell, never comes back. I’m pretty sure she was only interested in trying to get a free lunch and figured we’d just… go with it?

I work retail in a college town. As with every business, we require everyone who wants to purchase alcohol to have a valid ID. This is especially important when dealing with groups of college students. If anyone is underage or doesn’t have their ID, we can’t sell to anyone in the group. This even extends to parents with college-age students. It’s unpopular, but it’s a fireable offense if we cashiers don’t follow all the liquor laws and the store’s policies to the letter.

A couple of days ago, a trio came up to the self-check registers, pushing a cart brimming with all sorts of beer, liquor, wine, etc. There were two young women and one young man, the latter looking kind of bored with his hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie. 

I approached with my best customer service smile:

Me: “Hello, folks! Do you all have your IDs with you?”

The two women immediately pull out their IDs, all smiles. The man, however, just shrugs his shoulders.

Guy: “I’m not drinking.”

I steel myself for the argument I’m about to have. Both the girls Gibbs-slap the guy in the back of the head.

Girl #1: “CURTIS! We told you to bring your ID if you wanted to come!”

Curtis rubbed the back of his head in surprise.

Guy: “What? It’s a stupid rule! I’m not drinking any of this!”

Girl #2: *Fuming.* It doesn’t matter!” *Pointing to me.* “It’s not his fault, he doesn’t make the rules, he has to follow them!” *She turns to me.* “I’m so, so sorry. Curtis is an idiot, apparently. We’ll be on our way.”

The two girls grab Curtis and push him towards the door, still berating him. 

I stand there dumbstruck for a moment. Another customer turns to me.

Customer: “You okay?”

Me: “Uh, yeah. Just… holy crap, the college students are actually learning!”

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 60
No ID, No Idea, Part 59
No ID, No Idea, Part 58
No ID, No Idea, Part 57
No ID, No Idea, Part 56