Not Going To Give Them Any Credit

, , , , , | Working | October 19, 2018

(I have just turned eighteen, and I am out in a mall department store when a couple of sales people walk up to me with a large box of makeup and skincare samples.)

Sales #1: “Hi there! Would you be interested in signing up for a [Store] rewards card?”

Me: “Not really. I don’t shop here much.”

Sales #2: “Are you sure? If you sign up for this rewards card, you get this box of samples for free now!”

(I spot a couple things I wouldn’t mind trying in the box, and figure there’s no harm in getting it.)

Me: “Well, okay. Just to clarify, though, this isn’t a credit card, right?”

Sales #1: “Oh, no no no! Just a rewards card.”

(I start signing up. The pin pad screen then asks for my drivers’ license.)

Me: “Hold on. This isn’t a credit card, is it?”

Sales #2: “No, no, just rewards. It’s just easier to get information from your license than from asking you to spell everything out.”

(I keep going. The PIN pad then asks for my social security number.)

Me: “I’m just making totally sure; I am not signing up for a credit card, am I?”

Sales #1: “No, don’t worry! It’s not a credit card.”

(I finish the application.)

Sales #2: “Okay, you’ll find out whether you got the card in seven to ten business days. Thank you so much!”

(She bags the sample box and hands it to me with a big grin, and I continue on my way. A week later, an envelope from [Store] credit services arrives at my house.)

Me: “What the h***?”

(I opened and read it, and found out that I had been approved for the [Store] credit card, and the card itself was enclosed. I immediately called the number on the letter and cancelled the card. I really wish I had thought to call the store and complain about those dishonest sales clerks.)

Just One More Thing…

, , , , , | Right | October 19, 2018

(I work in a sandwich shop with an open kitchen. The customers can see every step of their food being made, from being cooked on the grill to being passed through the oven to being wrapped up and handed to them. Most customers choose to trust that we’re capable of doing our jobs, but others like to hang over the counter and pick at every detail.  One night I am working on the grill and a woman comes in to order her sandwich. After having it explained that the sandwich she wants only comes with steak and provolone cheese on it, but she can add any other toppings she’d like, she says that just the steak and cheese will be fine. Immediately after I throw it on the grill, I hear her behind me.)

Customer: “Hey! Can you add some onions to that?”

Me: “Sure.” *adds the onions*

Customer: “How about some peppers and mushrooms, too?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s fine.”

Customer: “Put some mayo on the bread. No, more mayo than that! And put a few more onions in there, I like onions!”

(She continues this until I take her sandwich off the grill — including all of her added toppings — and start to put it through the oven to finish cooking. As I’m placing the cheese on her sandwich…)

Customer: “What kind of cheese is that?”

Me: “Provolone.”

Customer: “What other kinds do you have?”

Me: “We have Swiss or American if you don’t –”

Customer: “Put some cheddar on there.”

Me: “We don’t have cheddar.”

Customer: “Oh. Well then how about pepper jack?”

Me: “Sorry, we only have provolone, Swiss, or American.”

Customer: “Fine, then I guess the provolone will do.”

(I send her sandwich into the oven, and as it’s halfway through, she flags me down again as I start working on the other sandwiches on the grill.)

Customer: “Hey, I changed my mind; I want the American instead.”

Me: “Sorry, your sandwich is already in the oven. I can remake the whole thing if you want.”

Customer: “No, that’s okay. Just take the provolone off after it comes out and put some American on it.”

Me: “We can’t do that. The cheese melts onto the sandwich when it goes through the oven. I’ll have to remake the whole thing.”

Customer: *rolls eyes* “Fine, I guess I’ll just deal with the provolone, then. I wish you’d told me it would be melted.”

(Finally, her sandwich comes out of the oven and is wrapped up by the person on the other end — after a few more last-minute additions to her “meat and cheese only” sandwich, including another request to remove the provolone and add the non-existent cheddar — and we hand her food to her. Before she heads to the door, she asks the manager one more thing:)

Customer: “Are you guys hiring?”

Only Cheating Themselves

, , , , , | Learning | October 19, 2018

(I am a highschool sophomore recently diagnosed with severe ADHD and depression. Both mean that I have terrible focus even though I am a gifted learner. Once I am diagnosed, I am allowed by the school to bring a small laptop to school, on strict orders that it is not to be connected to the school’s Wi-Fi and that the teachers have to watch me set up my laptop at the beginning of each class. It is the second day I have my laptop. This teacher is known to have the toughest class, with extremely few chances for extra credit.)

Teacher: *walks to the front of the class the moment it starts* “Can anyone tell me, for extra credit, what was invented during World War II in an effort to replace the dwindling rubber supply?”

Me: *opens laptop, then raises hand*

Student #1: “Hey, she’s cheating!”

Teacher: “Yes, [My Name]?”

Me: “Silly putty.”

Teacher: “That’s correct.”

Student #1: “She only knew that because she looked it up on the Internet!”

Student #2: *jumps up from behind me* “Yeah, I can see her laptop from here!”

Teacher: *walks over to look at my laptop, which is still on the log-in screen* “Doesn’t look like it. And it’s not connected to Wi-Fi.”

Student #2: “She just logged out when you weren’t looking!”

Teacher: “Mind logging in?”

(I do so, revealing that the laptop still needs to boot up.)

Teacher: “Thank you. [Student #2], we will need to talk after class.”

(He was the best teacher I had that year. Several years later, he is now the head principal of my old high school.)

I’ll Be In The Naturists Department

, , , , , | Related | October 19, 2018

(My brother and I, both adults, have agreed to go shopping with our mother. My brother tells her he wants to go look at something in a different department and will catch back up with us.)

Mom: “Okay, that’s fine. I’ll be in clothes.”

Brother: *without missing a beat* “Well, I certainly hope so!”

Better MoneyGram Over A Big Fat Apology

, , , | Right | October 17, 2018

(The store I work for offers MoneyGram as a service where customers can wire money or receive money. The people who use it often aren’t the brightest or the nicest people. A regular customer who sends money is in the store and approaches the counter.)

Me: “Hi, [Customer], how much are you sending today?”

Customer: “[Amount].”

Me: “Okay, hold on one second.”

Customer: “So, when are you due?”

(I am not the skinniest person, but I definitely do not look pregnant. This catches me off guard.)

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I am asking when you’re due.”

Me: “I’m not pregnant.”

Customer: “Oh, so, you’re just trying to lose the baby weight.”

Me: “I don’t have children.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(No apology or anything. She just went on her merry way.)

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