Internet Snark Provider

, , , , , | Right | March 26, 2020

(It is the early days of the Internet. The Internet provider for which I work is fairly small and only provides dial-up service. Customers have the option of telnetting into a shell account to connect. We also provide Internet service for a couple of local Internet cafes.)

Me: “Welcome to [ISP]. May I help you?”

Cafe Owner: “Hi, this is [Cafe Owner] at [Internet Cafe]. I have a customer who has an account with you and needs help getting into their shell account.”

Me: “Sure, just put them on the line.”

Customer: “Hi, can you help me?”

Me: “No problem.”

(I walk her through the not-too-complicated steps of opening a telnet session and signing in. This takes quite a while, as the customer isn’t familiar with the process at all.)

Me: “And now you’ll enter your username.”

Customer: “I don’t know what that is.”

Me: “Uh. Okay, well, it’s often the first initial and last name.” 

Customer: “All right.”

Me: “And then the password.”

Customer: “It’s not working.”

Me: “Are you sure you entered the password correctly?”

Customer: “Yeah. Oh, I know what it is. My account is at [Rival ISP].”

Me: “Sure. Uh, I’m not familiar with their information, but try [Rival ISP] dot net for the host?” *total stab in the dark*

Customer: “Oh, that worked. Great! Thank you so much!”

Me: “No problem, I’m glad to help. In the future, though, you might want to consider calling [Rival ISP] when you need help? They’re your provider and will have all the information you need.”

Customer: “WHAT?!”

(The customer abruptly flipped out on me, yelling and cursing, even though I had been nothing but polite throughout the whole transaction, and so had she, up until then. I had to put my manager on the phone, and he told her that she should have called her ISP in the first place!)

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Unfiltered Story #190590

, , , | Unfiltered | March 25, 2020

(I work at a thrift store and the way our pricing works with clothes is that we have set prices for women’s shirts, dresses, etc. The prices are on signs all over the store. A customer comes up and places two dresses on my register. They are clearly dresses.)

Customer: Excuse me, how much are these?

Me: Dresses are 4.99, ma’am.

Customer: But I found them on the 3.99 rack!

Me: Well, I believe you, but they’re dresses, not shirts…

(At this point, my manager just happened to be nearby so she walks up.)

Manager: What’s the problem, ma’am?

Customer: I found these over there, on the 3.99 rack!

Manager: Well, I’m sorry, but these are dresses, someone must have put them on the wrong rack.

(The customer leaves her items and walks out, muttering to herself.)

Unfiltered Story #190588

, , | Unfiltered | March 25, 2020

(I work at a popular bakery/cafe chain, who also happen to provide table service. Note that we do have a patio. As I’m returning to the counter to grab a tray, the person who ordered it is close behind me.)

Customer: Oh that’s mine I’ll take it, thanks.

Me: Alright! Just to let you know, if you place your tracker on your table next time, we’ll bring it to you!

Customer: Oh cool! Even on the patio?

Me: Yes of course!

Customer: Ok, thanks! By the way, how do I get outside?

(I had to show him to the door he came in.)

Cheese-Louise!

, , , | Right | March 21, 2020

(I am working the drive-thru, taking orders.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Restaurant]; what can I get you today?”

Customer: “I’d like a hamburger, add cheese and tomato.”

Me: “So, a cheeseburger, add tomato.”

Customer: “No, a hamburger, add cheese and tomato.”

Me: “So, a cheeseburger, add tomato—”

Customer: *cuts me off* “It’s a hamburger, add cheese.”

(Finally, my manager stepped in on the headset and finished the order. I still can’t understand what the difference is between a “hamburger, add cheese” and a cheeseburger.)

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The Weight Of Expectations For Women

, , , , | Right | March 19, 2020

(A woman comes up to the register with a 45-pound bag of dog food.)

Me: “Is this all for you today, ma’am?”

Customer: “This is everything. Would someone be able to help me out to the car, though? I’m not supposed to lift more than thirty pounds.”

Me: “That’s not a problem at all!”

(I finish ringing her out. She looks expectantly to my manager at the other register, and then looks surprised when I pick up her bag of dog food and hold the door open for her.)

Customer: *as we’re walking through the parking lot* “Well, that’s just rude!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You’re a lady! You shouldn’t be lifting heavy things! Your manager should have done it! He’s not doing anything!”

Me: “It’s really no problem for me. I actually enjoy taking customers’ items to their car for them; it gives me a minute or so outside on nice days like this.”

Customer: “It’s still horribly rude! He should have at least offered! I won’t be getting my dog food from this store again if this is how they treat their woman employees!”

(She drove away in a rush and I walked back inside shaking my head. Situations like this happen to me nearly every day.)

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