Mommy’s Little Dearest Gets His Rewards

, , , , , , | Working | August 15, 2018

I work at a busy gas station off the highway. It is a Friday afternoon, and I am paired with one of the worst coworkers ever: a mama’s boy who whines about everything.  

This afternoon, the whole station is filled with people wanting to get gas, beer, pop, and whatever else they need to start their weekend. I am on the main terminal, moving the line along. My coworker is talking on the phone with his mom, being slow and rude, asking me to help him out. I finally get tired of it and excuse myself to go in the back, where our boss is sitting in the office. I complain a bit about the coworker. After, I tell the boss that I should get back out there. He tells me to stay in the back for a few more minutes, which I gladly do.

After a few more minutes, I go back out to the glare of my coworker, and get the store cleared out. He is still talking to his mother.  

A week or so later, he gets a delivery through the regional office. It is a “secret shopper’s” report, from that afternoon! Long story short: he no longer has a job.  

He threatens to sue for “defamation of character,” which probably won’t go far.

That Request Comes With A Bone Of Contention

, , , , , | Right | August 13, 2018

(I work in a cafe where there’s a hot case that we fill with pieces of breaded, fried chicken, various flavored chicken wings, chicken tenders, and two fried sides. Today we have three flavored wings: two bone-in, and one boneless.)

Customer: “What flavor are those wings?”

Me: *pointing to the sign and reciting the flavors* “I have buffalo and garlic parmesan in the bone-in wings, and sweet red chili in the boneless.”

Customer: “Well, I like that chili one, but I don’t like boneless wings. Can you just make the bone ones in that flavor?”

(I offer to take an order, which will take about twenty minutes.)

Customer: “No, I ain’t waiting that long. Just put the bones in the red chili ones.”

(Sometimes customers want their favorite sauce put over one that we’ve already made, so I offer to do this.)

Customer: “No, just take the bones out of those buffalos and put them in the chilis!”

(Another person who knew this customer came over and suggested they try the garlic parmesan. Crisis averted.)

Unfiltered Story #117829

, , | Unfiltered | August 5, 2018

(I’m a manager at a local branch of a nationwide chain of discount stores. I overhear this conversation between my cashier and a customer. The customer is a woman in her 30’s.)
Customer: Can I play with one of those dollar coins.
Cashier: Absolutely!
(Customer hands the cashier a coin.)
Cashier: I’m sorry, this is just a quarter, not a dollar.
Customer: No. It’s a dollar. See, right there is says quarter DOLLAR.
(We then had to explain to this woman the difference between a quarter and a dollar.)

Not-So-Smart TV

, , , , | Legal | August 3, 2018

(I work at a big name shipping and retail store. The store is run by the owner, me, and one other coworker. Today it is just the owner and me. A few days previously someone had broken in after hours and stolen several high-value packages off the shelf in the back. We had filed a police report and reviewed the security footage. We did not know this person but our cameras clearly showed her face. Fast forward to today and she comes back. The owner and I instantly recognize her, and the owner goes to the back to call the police while I stall her. The customer storms in and slams down a large box containing a smart TV on the counter; I can hear glass rattling inside.)

Customer: “I picked this up the other day and it’s broken! You owe me $2,000!”

Me: *stalling for time and playing along* “I’m very sorry to hear that; let’s take a look.”

Customer: “It’s broken! What else matters?”

Me: “Well, depending on the extent of the damage, we may be able to replace it. If the shipper insured it, we will have to file a claim describing the nature of the damage.”

Customer: *sighs loudly, clearly annoyed* “Fine, but I don’t see why you can’t just give me the money.”

Me: “Well, unfortunately, false claims are very common. Some people will run scams in order to get free stuff. I know it’s a pain, but before we can pay out we have to make sure the claim is legitimate and that the damage was caused by our drivers.”

Customer: “So, I might not get my money back, then? Thats f****** ridiculous! You broke it, so you should pay for it! What kind of dishonest bulls*** is this?”

(This goes on for a good ten minutes with the store’s owner standing by to diffuse the situation if it gets out of hand while we wait for the police. Finally they pull in to the parking lot. At this point the customer is becoming more irate.)

Customer: “I JUST WANT MY F****** MONEY BACK NOW! DO YOUR G**D*** JOB!”

Owner: *chimes in as two officers enter the store* “He has been, ma’am; he did an excellent job stalling you.” *then to the police* “This is her, officers.”

(All the color drains from her face and her mouth drops open to a perfect comical O shape.)

Customer: “Wha… what’s this about?”

Owner: “It’s about the security footage from last Saturday.” *pointing to the cameras*

Police Officer #1: “Ma’am, I need you to put both hands on the counter, and spread your feet.”

(Her eyes dart around rapidly before she makes a break for the front door. [Officer #2] tackles her and she goes down hard, yelling something about police brutality.)

Me: “Looks like they can add resisting arrest to your charges now.”

Owner: “And next time you steal something, it’s probably best not to try to return it to the same store.”

(The total value of all the packages she stole — coupled with a list of other charges from other retail stores in our area — turned out to be enough to send her to prison. The majority was from the smart TV she was trying to get us to cover.)

Nature Creates Blessed Juxtapositions

, , , , , | Friendly | July 29, 2018

(I am in a park and hear these totally unrelated conversations:)

Little Girl: “Help! My hair is stuck!”

40-Year-Old Man: *condescendingly* “Maybe you should try taking it out of your armpit!”

Page 1/3912345...Last
Next »