I work at a hobby and toy shop that specializes in high-end action figures and models. A man enters holding a premium, £150 superhero figure he bought an hour ago.

Customer: “I have a problem with this figure. I took it out of the box, and the articulation is terrible. The cape doesn’t even flow when I move him.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. These are usually top-tier quality. Is a joint stuck?”

Customer: “No, it just feels… fake. It’s too light. For this price, I expected it to be made of real material.”

Me: “It’s made of high-grade PVC and ABS plastic, which is the industry standard for these details.”

Customer: “Exactly! Plastic! The character in the movie wears a titanium-alloy suit with carbon fibre plating. Why isn’t the toy made of that?”

Me: “Because if we sold a six-inch figure made of aerospace-grade titanium and actual carbon fibre, it would cost a little more than £150.”

Customer: “Well, I just think for ‘collector grade,’ you shouldn’t be using cheap substitutes. It’s a matter of authenticity.”

Me: “While I’m calling the manufacturer, shall I also tell them that their Tony Stark model needs to contain traces of Vibranium and contain a real Arc Reactor?”

Customer: “I know Vibranium is super rare outside of Wakanda! I’m not stupid!”

I am working at a specialty collectible shop that has floor-to-ceiling walls of Funko Pops. A guy is standing in the middle of the aisle, holding a Marvel ‘Moon Knight’ and a DC ‘The Flash’ figure.

Customer: “Hey, quick question. If I buy these, am I allowed to display them on the same shelf? Like, is it okay to mix Marvel and DC fandoms?”

Me: “You can mix and match any Funko Pops you want, sir. I know Disney’s lawyers have a reputation, but I think you’ll be fine.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, haha. I’m just new to collecting Funkos, so I was wondering if there was some kinda nerd fandom etiquette I’d be in breach of.”

Me: “Well, you’re good. Your collection is your personal decision, and you can mix and match as many as you like.”

Customer: “Even Star Wars and Star Trek?”

Me: “What are you, a monster?”

I’m helping a couple find some items in our big box store. They have two sons with them, probably in the region of ten years old, with one being about a year older than the other. The older one has blocked the younger one into a corner with their cart.

Older Son: “I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her: marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet. Buried alive… buried alive…”

Younger Son: *Shouts.* “Khaaaaaan!”

Me: “Is… is that Wrath Of Khan?”

Dad: “Yeah. They’ve been spending lots of summer with their grandma and her VHS collection.”

Mom: “Other parents have been dealing with never-ending K-Pop Demon Hunters, and we’ve been dealing with…”

The mom gestures at the boys, who are now re-enacting Spock’s death scene.

Mom: “…that.”

Not gonna lie, that cute little interaction made my week!

I work in a small board/card game store (think Magic: the Gathering/D&D focused), and in the earlier days of the store’s business, we’d get some people who’d come in and demand that we price-match the bigger online store’s prices.

This story happened just after we had our pre-release tournament for a new Magic set release, where the official set would be on sale a week later in big box stores and online. Smaller stores like ours sometimes had extra product from the pre-release, and that’s what this customer wanted to buy.

Customer: “You guys are charging $180 for this box when [Online Retailer] has it listed for $120 online?!”

Me: “Yes, that’s the price that we sell it at.”

Customer: “Well, you should match their price. It’s the same product, after all.”

I had had enough of these people trying to badger our prices down at this point, so I decided to push back this time.

Me: “You know what, sir, we can do that for you. I’ll sell you this box for $120, same as [Online Retailer].”

His eyes lit up as he smiled smugly towards me, thinking he’d won when I put the box he’d been eyeing on a shelf behind our cash register, where we keep our special orders out so they’re easy to get when the customers who ordered them come in.

Customer: “Hey, why are you putting it back there?”

Me: “Oh, you can come pick it up in two weeks. The normal time that it would take for the set to officially release and be shipped out to your house.”

Customer: “But it’s right there! I shouldn’t have to wait!”

Me: “Then you’re more than welcome to pay our price, sir. Think of the higher price as a kind of convenience fee that helps keep this store open. Now, what is a good name and phone number I can put on this order to call when it’s ready to be picked up?”

He grumbled about how the customer is always right, and he should be able to just buy it now for cheap, as he shuffled out the door. I never saw him again and was happier for it.

I’m sitting in the break room eating my lunch when two of my coworkers, both in their 40s, are chatting over coffee.

Coworker #1: “My husband’s obsessed with all those space shows. He always gets upset when I mix them up.”

Coworker #2: “Which one is which again?”

Coworker #1: “I can never remember. One’s got the bald guy, the other’s got the one who breathes funny.”

Coworker #2: “Right, right. And one’s got the guy with the ears.”

Coworker #1: “No, they both do, don’t they?”

Coworker #2: “I just know one has the space swords and the other has the teleporting.”

They pause, clearly trying to puzzle it out.

Coworker #2: “Okay, so the space swords are…?”

Coworker #1: “The breathing one!”

Coworker #2: “And the teleporting is…?”

Coworker #1: “The bald one!”

They both nod proudly, as if they’ve solved a crime.