Concession Confession

| PA, USA | Right | April 4, 2011

(A customer approaches with a half empty bucket of popcorn.)

Customer: “Excuse, but this popcorn made me feel really sick.”

Me: “I am so sorry. Was it too salty?”

Customer: “I don’t know. What can you do for me?”

(The guest’s daughter, who looks about 8 years old, speaks up.)

Guest’s daughter: “Then why did you eat the whole thing and get a refill?”

Me: “I am sorry, but there really isn’t anything we can do for you.”

(The guest walks away, telling the little girl how she needs to keep quiet.)

1 Thumbs
2,109
VOTES

Short-Change Deranged

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Right | March 7, 2011

(I have just entered a customer’s order coming to $15.50. He hands me a twenty.)

Customer: “Oh, could I get another small popcorn too?”

Me: “Of course, sir.”

(I get the popcorn and add it to the order. It now totals $19.95. I give him 5 cents back. The customer walks away and I finish a few more orders. He comes back angry.)

Customer: “You short changed me!”

Me: “Are you sure, sir?”

Customer: “Of course I’m sure, you idiot! You only gave me back a nickel. You took 4 bucks from me! Give it to me now!”

Me: “I can’t just give you money from the till. In fact, I remember your order. It was $19.95 and you gave me a twenty.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me! It was 15 something!”

(My manager overhears.)

Manager: “What’s going on here?”

Customer: “This b*** short changed me 4 bucks!”

Me: “Sir, you saw the total at $15.50. Then, you asked for a small popcorn. Do you remember that?”

Customer: “Count the cash in the drawer! No, wait. She probably pocketed it! Empty your pockets now!”

(I show him there is nothing in my pockets.)

Customer: “She probably put it in her bra! Take off your clothes! Now!”

Manager: “She’s not taking off any clothes.”

Customer: “Fine! Then just let me put my hand in her bra and get my money out!”

1 Thumbs
4,242
VOTES

You’ll Wanna Sit Down For This One

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Right | February 21, 2011

(A guest hands me a ticket for a movie that doesn’t start for another hour.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. We’re not ready to let people in for this show yet.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “There are still people in the auditorium watching the last showing of this movie.”

Customer: *stare* “I don’t get it.”

Me: “We need to wait for the people to leave. Then, we will clean the theater, and then you can go in.”

Customer: “You mean I’ll be sitting in a seat someone just sat in!?”

Me: “Most likely, yes.”

Customer: “That’s unsanitary!”

Me: “That’s how movie theaters work, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, if my seat is warm, I want a refund!”

1 Thumbs
1,589
VOTES

I Sense Toil And Trouble

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Right | February 19, 2011

(A customer hands me a ticket to a movie that we are not ready to let people into yet.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. The auditorium for [movie] is just being cleaned right now.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. No problem.”

Another customer: *comes running up to me* “What did you say about [movie]? What’s wrong?”

Me: “Nothing is wrong. We’re just cleaning the seats and aisles before we let people in.”

Another customer: “Oh, thank goodness! I thought you said it was being ‘cleansed’. I don’t want a movie theater that believes in that new-age spiritual witchcraft stuff!”

Me: “Oh. Nothing like that happens here.”

Another customer: “Good!”

(The movie she was waiting to see? ‘Season Of The Witch’.)

1 Thumbs
1,917
VOTES

A Tourist Traveling To Terror Incognita

| Ashburn, VA, USA | Right | February 15, 2011

(I’m working as the ticket tearer when two young kids come up and ask me a question.)

Kid #1: “Our parents were in a different movie. They said they would be out first, but they aren’t here. It’s been a long time.”

Me: “Okay, do you know what movie they saw?”

Kid #2: “It was the terrorist, they went to see the terrorists!”

Me: “Oh! The Tourist with Johnny Depp. That won’t get out for another 10 minutes.”

Kid #1: “No it was the Terrorist! They said there was bombs and gangsters so we had to see Tangled instead.”

Me: “Well we don’t have that movie, so I’m sure it was the Tourist.”

(Kids walk away to wait. I overhear them.)

Kid #2: “What’s a tourist?”

Kid #1: “It must be the terrorists’ friends!”

1 Thumbs
1,843
VOTES
Page 16/38First...1415161718...Last