My brother manages a DVD rental store. On a Friday, I pop in to share lunch. A tropical storm has been updated to a hurricane. A woman flies into the store in a panic, dashes to the children’s section, and grabs twelve DVDs. Upon checking out, she says:

Customer: “I want to make sure the kids have something to watch if the electricity goes out.”

My brother and I turn and look at one another and then look back at her. She is already out the door. We laugh and shake our heads.

Brother: “Does she understand… if she has no electricity…”

My brother told me she returned on Monday, in a tiff and all disheveled, to return the DVDs. She wanted her money back because her children couldn’t watch them; they still didn’t have electricity.

My brother comped her just because it was so hilarious, and he didn’t want her to see him laughing.

Related:
Weathering The Storm Of Stupidity

I worked at a video store in the 1990s. A customer came up with a copy of a new release: “Shakespeare In Love”.

Customer: “A movie set in the 1500s shouldn’t be considered a ‘New Release’ and be $7! It’s set so long ago, it can’t be called new!”

The woman was wearing a blazer for a major bank — as in, she handles people’s finances every day.

I ran a video rental store (I’m old, I know) that, for some strange reason, ended up on the local cuckoo church’s radar. On our grand opening, they all showed up to protest our having “3,000 dirty movies in the back room.” I tried to reason with them and explain that that was impossible, but it was no good. They “knew” they were right.

A manager came up with a brilliant plan. He called the media to cover the protest, and when they arrived, he escorted them into the six-foot-by-eight-foot backroom that was completely filled with a break table, a microwave, and a small bathroom.

By the time the media got done laughing and came out to interview the protesters, they were all gone.

It is the 1990s and our video rental store is playing the newly-released Disney animation of “The Hunchback Of Notre Dame” on VHS. The musical number where the villain sings about Hellfire near his fireplace and how he is being tempted by the devil is in full orchestral swing.

Customer: “Excuse me, you shouldn’t be playing this with young children in the store! It seems very un-Christian!”

I’m working in a video rental store. We’re having an Internet outage, so we can only take cash. We’ve posted a sign on the front door, one on the interior door, and one more on a pedestal as you enter.

A guy comes in and walks right into the pedestal. He comes up to pay with a card.

Me: “Sir, our Internet is currently down, so we can only take cash.”

Customer: “You should probably put up signs warning people so they don’t waste their time.”

Me: “You mean other than the one on the front door, the one on the interior door, and the one you walked into?”