This Movie Is F-Bombing

, , | USA | Learning | May 2, 2017

I take a film-analysis class. Our teacher picks films to watch without regard to their ratings, so we end up watching a lot of R-rated movies (with parental permission, of course).

Towards the middle of the year, someone asks if we can watch a specific R-rated movie. The teacher told us that that was the only movie he was not allowed to show.

For whatever the reason, several years before this, a member of the Board of Education found out that the teacher was planning on showing the movie and decided to sit down and count the number of F-bombs dropped (it was a three digit number), then told the teacher that he was not allowed to screen the movie because of the high number.

Never mind that we still heard the F-bomb in other movies we watched, as well as in our daily lives, or that we watched movies with an abundance of sex and violence, or even that some of us had seen the movie before!

The teacher didn’t really know why the Board member singled out that one movie and last I heard, there have not been any other similar complaints.

Nothing But A Bunch Of Mean Girls

, , | CA, USA | Hopeless | March 2, 2017

(I am a server at a fairly laid back burger diner. I am in the middle of a Saturday night shift when I get a two top, a couple no older than myself. I’m 27.)

Me: “Heya, guys, how’s it going?! Can I grab you something to drink to start out with this evening?”

Female Customer: “Hmm.” *eyeing over the menu looking at our milkshakes*

Me: “Were you maybe thinking about some milkshakes? We have some really good ones.” *lists flavors*

Female Customer: *laughing* “Babe! She’s a pusher!”

Male Customer: “Oh, my goodness. Haha!”

Female Customer: “I’m a pusher lady. I’m a pusher!”

(Understanding that my table is quoting ‘Mean Girls’ I start laughing too.)

Me: “Oh, my goodness, I love that movie!”

Female Customer: “We just watched it; I’m a big fan.”

(They order a couple rootbeer floats and when I go back to take their order this happens:)

Female Customer: “Okay. I’ll have a [Burger] and a [Side].”

Male Customer: “And I’ll have the same.”

Me: “Aw, man, I was kinda hoping you would get a Caesar salad.” *voice getting high and kinda frantic as on par with the movie quote* “SO WE CAN TOTALLY STAB IT!”

(They look at me like I just grew six heads.)

Female Customer: “Whaa?”

Me: “Oh, my god, I’m sorry! It was a joke. I was just kinda quoting the movie. You know? ‘We should just totally stab Caesar’? I’m sorry.” *awkward chuckle*

(They burst out laughing.)

Female Customer: “Oh, my goodness! You’re at a ten and imma need you to come back done to a three! Haha.”

Me: “Haha, okay, I’m sorry about that.”

(They get their food and everything is great. I go to drop off their check.)

Me: “I just wanted to let you guys know that I paid for your root beer floats tonight because I’m kind of a weirdo and I wanted to apologize for earlier.”

(They look at each other is disbelief and get huge smiles.)

Female Customer: “Haha, well, ‘You can’t sit with us!’ That’s great! You were okay. It was funny.”

Me: “Okay, good. Haha, I don’t know what it is, but when someone starts quoting ‘Mean Girls’ I just can’t stop. Like right now I suppressing the urge to ask you if you guys had ‘an awesome time drinking your awesome shooters’ with your awesome friends!”

(They lose it again and just start laughing.)

Female Customer: “Well, that’s it; I think you’re a bigger fan than I am!”

(They come up to pay the bill and my manager cashes them out.)

Me: “You guys have a great night!”

Them: “You, too!”

Me: “You go, Glenn Coco!”

(They left and my manager said that they told him they left me something at the table. I walked over and they had left me a note on a napkin with a $10 bill. The note said “On Wednesdays, we wear pink. 🙂 Thank You!” This was truly one of the best customer experiences I’ve had. It was such a pleasure serving them. This encounter made my whole night and I’ve already told this story to a number of people who think it’s hilarious as well. Maybe it’s a “had to be there kind of thing” but I’ll never forget that couple.)

The TV Generation Isn’t So Bad

, | Orillia, ON, Canada | Hopeless | December 5, 2016

I work in the loyalty/retention department for the largest telecom in Canada. I have been doing this job for over three years now, but I will always remember the one older lady I made cry, in the best possible way, about six months into my tenure.

This lady called in, apologizing, because she was going to have to cancel her TV services. Her husband had passed away and she could no longer afford the bill, which was over $300, but she needed to keep her home phone with Canada/US/international calling, and the Internet because her family was spread out all over the world and she would call or Skype with her children and grandchildren.

Now, this couple had obviously never called in about their services once they were set up, as they were on old, expensive, grandfathered plans that had not been available for over 10 years.

I started talking to her, asking about the kids and grandkids, and what channels/tv shows she liked. Did she watch the European football? (no, it was her late husband; she didn’t watch any sports), What about the American new channels (nope, just the local news at 6). I found out they have had the same phone number for over 40 years and she was quite proud of the fact that they had been the first on their street to have “high speed Internet.” Meanwhile, I am looking at her past bills, long distance charges, Internet usage patterns, etc.

After about 20 minutes of just talking I asked her, “Ma’am, do you WANT to cancel the TV or do you feel you HAVE to in order to save money? Because the plans you are on for home phone and Internet will be approximately $185. But if I change you to new, in market plans, you can keep your TV with [channels], phone with all your features and LD, and an Internet plan with enough usage allowance to more than cover what you normally use, for about $150.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line, long enough that I asked “Are you still there, ma’am?”

Then I hear a hiccup and she is saying, “You can do that for me? I can keep my TV?” as she starts crying and thanking me.

She then asks for my manager and gave me a ‘kudos’ for being such a good employee and helping her out.

There are the customers I love to help. They are truly deserving of “loyalty” discounts and they are the reason I still want to go to work.

This Car Ride Is Going South (Park)

, , , , , | TX, USA | Friendly | November 24, 2016

Back in the early 2000s, my mother used to host day trips through our local community college, meant for people in their 60s and above. If there are more than 10 people, she asks me to drive the college’s second van, since I work for the college as well, and have had the safety course. We’re almost to our destination point when we miss our turn off, and are forced to leave the highway to take an underpass. However, at the red light, I get separated from her.

She calls me on my cell phone to give me directions. Unbeknownst to me, my brother has changed my usual ringtone from a generic ring to “Kyle’s Mom is a Big Fat B****” from South Park. The song floods the small van. What’s worse is, because I’m driving, I can’t stop the phone ringing, I can’t pick up, and I can only sit there in horror as the song stops… then picks up again.

I hurriedly stop, grab my phone during the third call to answer my mom, and get safely to our destination. As my group, all elderly women, exits the vehicle, one of them says, “I’m going to pray for you,” and refuses to ride back with me on the trip home. Years later, and I still slap my brother upside the head when I think about it.

Your Shift Is Bigger, Longer, And Uncut

, | Austin, TX, USA | Right | September 17, 2016

The ‘South Park’ movie has just come out in theaters, including the theater where I am working. There is no single, key, specific bad customer here; just countless under-age kids trying to sneak in, to the point where corporate office sent a notation that all theaters must post someone inside the door for every showing.

I am the youngest employee, and in fact, one of the only ones who is not old enough to be a parent or grandparent.

As everyone else on the staff actively dislikes South Park, three guesses as to who gets stationed to stand just inside the entry to that theater, day after day, eight hour shift after eight hour shift.

Without meaning to, I have memorized much of the d*** film and can quote dialogue verbatim. Kind of ruined the show for me, and set me on the path of hating bratty, entitled customers. I also heard of a guy at another theater doing the same job who got maced for not letting a middle-school kid into the movie when she tried to sneak in.

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