Hell In A Recycle Basket

| Bloomington, IL, USA | Right | February 4, 2011

(A mom, dad, and their son walk out of a 3D movie and are throwing their 3D glasses into the recycling bin.)
 
Son: “Can I keep my glasses?”
 
Mother: “No, we have to recycle them.”
 
Son: “What if I don’t?”
 
Mother: “Uh, well…then you go to purgatory!”

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Can’t Count On His Trust

| Billings, MT, USA | Right | December 22, 2010

(A group of four teens come in to see an R rated movie. Two of the kids have ID revealing their age to be 17. The two girls have no ID. I am a manager and am called over to assist.)

Me: “What’s wrong here?”

Male Customer: “See, me and him have our IDs because I drove.” *points to girls* “They are 17. They just forgot their IDs.”

Me: “Well, you owe me $100.”

Customer: “What? No I don’t.”

Me: “Oh, so you don’t take my word for it? You don’t trust me.”

Girl Customer: “Hey, we are 17. We know the rules. We just forgot our IDs.”

Me: “If you knew the rules, then why didn’t you bring your IDs? I can’t sell you tickets, but can I suggest a PG-13 movie?”

Male Customer: “Hey wait, why do I owe you $100?!”

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Gotta Try It Sooner Or Latte

| Tukwila, WA, USA | Right | December 15, 2010

(We serve a limited number of coffee drinks made automatically by machine.)

Customer: “I’d like a hazelnut latte, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have other flavors. I can give you a regular latte.”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “Just a regular latte.”

Customer: “What does it taste like?”

Me: “It’s just coffee and milk.”

Customer: “Oh. I’ve never tried that! Maybe I should.”

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Well, That Plan Is Out The Window

| Madison Heights, MI, USA | Right | December 10, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [theater]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I had three coupons, but they flew out the window. Is there anything you can do for me?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, without the actual coupons there’s nothing we can do.”

Caller: “Are you kidding me!? I’ve been driving thirty or forty minutes to get there!”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but there is nothing we can do.”

Caller: “You are so rude! Is there a corporate number I can complain too.”

Me: “You can go on our website and file a complaint.”

Caller: “Well, can I complain to you?”

Me: “You already are.”

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Close, But No Cinema

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Right | December 5, 2010

(I’m working the outside ticket counter and an elderly woman comes up to buy a ticket.)

Customer: “I want a ticket to see [movie].”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. That movie’s not showing here.”

Customer: “Yes, you do. I’d like a ticket, please.”

Me: “No, ma’am, we’re not showing that. Did you see it listed in the paper? Sometimes some of the titles get switched around.”

Customer: “No. I saw the commercial for it and it said it was ‘showing at a theater near you’, and this is the closest theater to my house!”

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