Not My Site, Not My Monkeys

, , , , , | | Right | July 26, 2019

(We’re a web design and hosting company that sells a particular content management system. If a customer has an existing site with another provider, we just build their new site on our servers and swap when everything is finished, to minimize problems. Up until that point, we have no control over their existing site, and the site we build has no connection to theirs, other than content, which the client provides.)

Customer: “Our site is down.”

Me: “You mean the test site we built?”

Customer: “No, our current site. It’s not working.”

(I check the site, which is still hosted with another company)

Me: Yeah, it’s down. You’ll have to call [Other Hosting Company] and see if they can fix it.”

Customer: “Well, you need to fix it. I saw on the test site that you had links that led to our site, so you need to take those down since it crashed the site.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “You linked to our site, and that made it crash.”

Me: “No… The Internet doesn’t work that way?”

(This goes on for quite a while, I tell him that we have no control over their existing site, and he tells me I have to remove all links, because they’re making the site crash.)

Boss: “Let me talk to him.”

Customer: *after a long explanation* “I’m just saying, don’t you think it’s a little more than a coincidence that you link to our site and the site crashes?”

Boss: “The links you gave us must have had viruses in them. We’ll run a purging system but it’ll take 48 hours; it’s very important you don’t disturb the system until it’s done. That means no visiting the site, and no calling us, or we’ll have to start all over again.”

Customer: “Ugh, why couldn’t you have just done that in the first place?!”

Unfiltered Story #158325

, , , | | Unfiltered | July 18, 2019

It is relatively busy at the café I work at. I woman in sunglasses enters.

Me: Hi, how can I help you?

The woman then proceeds to recite a long and complicated order, not pausing for even a second between the different items, including coffee.

Me: Would you like sugar in your coffee?

Customer: I will not repeat myself. If you were actually listening, you’d know what I ordered.

Me: *speechless*

Customer: I’ll be back in a minute.

A coworker follows her out to get the correct coffee order, but the customer wouldn’t say. She was angry that we wanted to clarify part of her order!

In the end, we just gave her what I wrote down (no sugar). That was the worst customer I’ve ever served, but I’m sure down the road there will be some more nasty ones.

Unfiltered Story #155568

, , , | | Unfiltered | June 28, 2019

(One of my regulars comes in and he is on the phone. He orders and throws the money on the counter. I go to pick it up.)
Customer: Oh my god, I’m so sorry! (He picks up the money and hands it to me.) I hate it when people do that to me. I’m so sorry!
Me: It’s fine, thank you!
(He defiantly made my day.)

God Doesn’t Hate Anyone But You’re Really Pushing Him

, , , , , , , , , | | Right | June 3, 2019

(I work in a coffee shop that’s most often frequented by the local youth and the occasional tourist. We have a loyal regular who is about 17 and shows up every day for a beverage on his way home from work, along with other times in the week. He is gay, very shy and soft-spoken, and usually wears something purple or pink. He has long hair and also wears eye shadow; his orientation is pretty clear. A customer in her mid- to late-50s is in the line adjacent to our regular, who is chatting with me in his casual, sweet tone and demeanor. These two are the only customers in the cafe. The lady snorts after taking a good long look at our regular, and then, after having her order taken, she follows him to the table he normally sits at.)

Customer: “You know, God sees you as a filthy, fornicating sinner!”

Regular: *flabbergasted* “Wh… What do you–”

Customer: “He hates your kind, you little [slur]. You and all your b****-boy kind. You’re all going to Hell unless you quit being little scum-bag, d**k-sucking [slur]s!”

(Our regular is stammering and starting to cry. I see a guy about [Regular]’s age who has just come in the door in time to hear everything, walk up angrily to the both of them, and then decide to step in. I see that this new fellow is wearing a cross necklace, and I can just see it getting worse for [Regular]. But before I can get out from behind the counter, I’m floored.)

New Guy: *stands between the woman and [Regular] and points a finger at her* “You’re the sickening one! Not only do you use foul language, but you have the audacity to tell someone God hates them. If you’ve ever read the Bible, you’ll know that Jesus loves all of us despite any flaws.”

Customer: “What?! You mean you stand with this little s***? You think don’t homosexuality is an abomination?”

New Guy: “I think exactly what the Bible says about it, but I also listened to the part where it tells us to love people unconditionally, especially the sinners.”

(This goes on for about another minute, with the new guy not once letting her get past him to even look at [Regular]. My manager leaves her office after hearing the commotion outside and tells the woman she needs to leave immediately.)

Customer: “You little b****! You’re trying to cheat me out of the coffee I bought!”

Manager: *angrily takes out about eight bucks worth of ones and change from her own pocket* “Take it and get the h*** out, or I’m calling the police!”

Customer: *grabs the money and starts to leave, lividly screaming on her way out* “You’re all going to Hell, you f****** heathens!”

(I turn from watching my manager to look at our new hero who turns around to finally face [Regular], who is crying quite hard at this point. He sits down next to him.)

New Guy: “Are you all right?”

Regular: “I think so.”

(The new guy looks at [Regular] for a moment, then leans in to hug him. They both stay that way for several minutes until [Regular] stops crying.)

New Guy: “Hey, for the record, there’s only one thing God can’t do, and that’s hating us.”

(This guy turned one of the worst days for [Regular] into one of the best! A little bit of love for fellow man goes a long way.)

Unfiltered Story #152524

, , , | | Unfiltered | June 1, 2019

(The customer is calling about paying off money he owes the government.)

Customer: Um, yes, I’m on the website, and I’m trying to pay my debt with a credit card, but I can’t see where to do that.

Me: I’m happy to help with that. Unfortunately, we don’t accept credit card transactions, only payments by check.

Customer: But… I need to pay this debt off! I want to pay in full. Im accruing interest!

Me: I’m sorry to hear that, and I appreciate your desire to resolve this debt. Unfortunately, it’s just our policy.

(Customer huffs heavily and mutters a thanks for nothing, like he’d rather be paying 12% interest than the modest 1% we charge…)

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