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There’s A Wide Gap Between Caution And Racism

, , , | Learning | April 17, 2022

I’m standing outside with my daughter, waiting for her school bus. Near us is another mom with her child.

The bus rolls up, as usual; however, the driver today is different. This happens occasionally when the usual driver is ill or whatnot. I don’t think anything of it, but being that this substitute driver just so happens to be black, this doesn’t rest well with the mom next to us.

She lurches forward, blocks my daughter from entering, and barks at him.

Woman: “Excuse me, what do you think you’re doing? Who gave you permission to be driving this bus?”

Driver: “Oh, nothing, I just thought I’d get up at seven in the morning and steal a bus full of screaming kids. What do you think I’m doing?!

Woman: “What is your first and last name?”

Driver: “First name, Bus! Last name, Driver! Are you going to put your child on or not? I need to get going!”

My daughter moves to enter the bus, but the woman blocks her again.

Woman: “Don’t! Not until I say it’s okay.”

Me: “Ma’am, would you get out of her way and let her get on?”

Daughter: “Come on, I have a field trip!”

Woman: “Let me find out if he’s supposed to be driving this bus.” *Takes out her phone*

Driver: “MISS! I GOTTA GO! I HAVE KIDS WAITING TO BE PICKED UP! MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!”

Woman: “No, you stay right there!” *Playing on her phone*

The door hisses shut and the bus roars away.

The woman and I ended up exchanging some loudly spoken and unkind words before I ended up hurrying my daughter back to our house and driving her to school, thankfully in plenty of time to make it for her field trip.

Meanwhile, I sent a letter to the school superintendent explaining the incident in the (highly likely) event that the other mother would contact them to give her own completely inaccurate version as to why her son and my daughter were not picked up for school that morning, resulting in that gentleman getting in trouble for nothing other than trying to do his job while black.

Putting Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

, , , , | Right | February 11, 2022

I’m a school bus driver. An adorable little girl gets onto the bus and spits out coins into her hand, before offering them to me.

Little Girl: *Helpfully* “I had my bus fare in my mouth!”

Me: “Yes, you did! Ew! Please put them in the fare tray.”

Something Something, Slow And Steady…

, , , , | Learning | March 23, 2021

Our handball team has a local championship around three hours from away from home. It should last three days, but our team is eliminated in the first round. So, after one night, we head home. The mood is very bad, as we’d hoped to spend a nice weekend in the mountains.

Teammate #1: “Ahh, so stupid. Three-hour trip for nothing! Now I have to sit in this stupid bus again after only one day!”

Another teammate agrees. Suddenly, a red Porsche overtakes our bus and [Teammate #1] exclaims:

Teammate #1: “Wow! With that car, I would be home in thirty minutes! But instead I sit here, on this awful bus!”

Teammate #2: “Yeah! It would be nice. I imagine that is my car and my chauffeur is driving it home for me. I just sit with you in this bus out of pity!”

Teammate #1: “Oh! You are so nice! But instead of sitting here, you should have taken me for the ride home in your car! Your chauffeur should go home by bus!”

They joke around about “their” car and about how difficult it is to go by bus for a while, until our bus slows down and passes an accident. The Porsche is sitting in a ditch, its front totally destroyed.

Luckily, the driver is standing beside it, filing a police report. [Teammate #1]’s and [Teammate #2]’s jaws drop.

Teammate #2: “Oh, my God! MY CAR! WHAT DID THE CHAUFFEUR DO TO IT?!”

Teammate #3: “Do you still think it is soooo bad to go by bus?”

I guess the driver won’t be home for some time!

This Driver’s No Dinosaur

, , , , , , , | Learning | October 15, 2020

I’m a substitute school bus driver. While most students behave well on the bus, there are a few who have some trouble.

One day, I have a thirteen-year-old student yelling and being disruptive. After a few warnings to keep conversations quieter, I pull the bus over onto the shoulder and walk back to him.

Me: “It’s getting awfully loud back here; I need you to come and sit closer to me. You can make sure I’m following the route correctly.”

Usually, giving disruptive students a “job” helps them behave better.

Student: “Okay, fine.”

He follows me to a seat near the front, but instead of having fun telling a grown-up what to do like most other students, he continues to annoy the other students around him. I decide to try distracting him.

Me: “[Student], do you know what the loudest animal in the world is?”

Student: “No, I give up.”

Me: “Blue whale. Do you know how long it takes light to travel from the sun to Earth?”

Student: “No, but do you know what a Deinonychus is?”

Me: “That’s my favorite dinosaur — a dromaeosaur discovered in the 1960s by John Ostrom that revolutionized the way we view dinosaurs as active, warm-blooded animals. I know what it is, yes. And it takes almost eight and a half minutes for sunlight to reach Earth.”

Student: “Um… What about Stygimoloch?”

Me: “A Cretaceous ornithopod that’s recently been thought to be a juvenile form of Pachycephalosaurus rather than a distinct species.”

[Student] is no longer disruptive, just curious.

Student: “How did you know that?”

Me: *Friendly tone* “I’m wearing Triceratops earrings and a Tyrannosaurus necklace. I like dinosaurs. You can’t out-dinosaur me, but you’re welcome to try.”

He was indeed unable to stump me on dinosaur facts, but trying kept him distracted until we got to his bus stop!


This story is part of our Best Of October 2020 roundup!

Read the next story in the Best Of October 2020 roundup!

Read the Best Of October 2020 roundup!

The Golden Rule

, , , , | Friendly | March 14, 2019

(I have had platinum blonde hair for all of my childhood and right into my mid-late 20s. In this story, I am sixteen and my friend is fourteen. We are travelling to school on the bus one morning.)

Friend: *randomly* “You know, your hair isn’t blonde. It’s too pale.”

Me: “Okay, if you say so. What colour is it, then?”

Friend: “I don’t know, but it isn’t blonde.”

Me: “Well, if it isn’t blonde, what is it? Is it black?”

Friend: “No.”

Me: “Is it red?

Friend: “No.”

Me: “Is it brunette?”

Friend: “No.”

Me: “Are you saying you think my hair is white?”

Friend: “No, it’s not that pale.”

Me: “So, it must be blonde.”

Friend: “No! I told you! It’s too pale!”

Me: “Soooo, what colour is it, then?”

Friend: “I. Don’t. Know. It’s just too pale to be blonde.”

Me: *smirking* “Okay, whatever.”

(I didn’t bother arguing with her anymore since I was familiar with her intransigent nature. However, being only a mere teenager, I did have a giggle with mutual friends about her claim later on.)