Toodles And Parenthood And Whatever

, , , , | Learning | September 11, 2017

(One of our teachers is leaving to have a baby. The other teachers arrange a surprise going-away video. All of the students from across the classes get together in groups of three to four in front of the camera to say goodbye. It’s my turn, along with two classmates.)

Me: “Bye!”

Classmate #1: “Have fun with the baby!”

Classmate #2: “…”

(I realize [Classmate #2] is distracted, watching a nearby dog, so I prod her in the ribs to get her to say something.)

Classmate #2: *still distracted* “Right, yeah… toodles.”

Me: *after recording is finished* “…Toodles?!”

(Since we were primary students, there was a rule against re-recordings. Most of the comments made our teacher smile. Some of them made her tear up. Ours were the only ones that made her snort with laughter.)

Today Is Opposites Day!

| Montbello, CO, USA | Learning | July 28, 2017

(My husband is basically a teacher’s aide at an elementary school. He mostly helps out with math and literacy intervention in small group settings. He usually works with fourth and fifth graders.)

Husband: “What do you think ‘efficiency’ means?”

Student: “The government?”

Husband: *starts laughing*

Technically Correct

| UT, USA | Learning | July 27, 2017

(It’s just before President’s Day, and our kindergarten class is answering questions about Washington and Lincoln.)

Kindergarten Teacher: “Where was George Washington born?”

Student: “I know, I know!”

Kindergarten Teacher: “Go ahead.”

Student: “He was born in Vagina!”

Kindergarten Teacher: *nearly chokes from trying to contain her laughter*

App-lied Communation Failure

, | Eindhoven, The Netherlands | Learning | July 26, 2017

(Working as the IT guy for some primary schools I get a mail from a teacher:)

Teacher: “You need to activate and install apps on my computer, because the computer says so. I get this message all of the time.”

Me: “Could you provide me some more information? What is the message exactly saying?”

Teacher: “All you have to do is activate and install apps.”

Me: “Okay, since you won’t answer my question, it all stops here. Have a nice day and good luck with your computer.”

(Never heard a thing about it anymore.)

The Age Of Agelessness

| Toowoomba, QLD, Australia | Learning | July 25, 2017

(My husband and I work at the same school, him as a high school teacher and I as a teacher aide in the primary school. I’ve only recently started at the school, but my husband has been teaching there for a year and is well known amongst the students. We are both in our early twenties, and I am actually a few months older than my husband. We share a last name and are the youngest members on staff.)

Girl: “Are you Mr. [Name]’s daughter?”

Me: “…”

(I shared the story with my not-yet 22-year-old husband later on. I’m not yet sure if she was insulting him, or complimenting me, or just completely clueless.)

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