During a lull in activity, a little boy comes up to the register with two pieces of candy. He is being quiet and pacing back and forth, making me think he is waiting for someone.

Little Boy: “Hold on, let me go get something.”

He turns around to grab a Slim Jim from the counter behind him. I have never heard someone excuse themselves to get an impulse item, so for a brief moment, I wait for him to go back into the aisles as he fidgets back and forth.

Then, I notice that he doesn’t have a mask on (this is 2021) and is awkwardly trying to cover his mouth with his coat. I reach into the cashier’s drawer and pull out a disposable mask.

Me: “Hey, kid, take this.”

I scan his three items.

Me: “Would you like a bag?”

Little Boy: “No.”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be [total].”

Little Boy: “Do you have change for a twenty?”

I do, and I give him his change. He turns to leave, takes a few steps, and then comes back to the register with the five-dollar bill I gave him.

Little Boy: “Here. Have a tip.”

I gotta say, that little guy is gonna be a favorite customer someday.

I worked in retail for over twenty years, but nothing in that period beats the time when I was a teenager at a grocery store and the most amazing coincidence happened.

I am bringing some shopping carts back to the corrals at the front of the store. I see an older gentleman waiting patiently for a parking space close to the store entrance as someone else pulls out. As soon as the space is free, another car pulls in super-fast and a bunch of women get out.

The gentleman winds down his window and calls to them from his car.

Gentleman: “Excuse me, I was waiting for that space. I have trouble walking, y’see—”

Customer: “I don’t see your name on it.”

And with that, they stroll inside the store, and I am left feeling sorry for the man as he finds a spot a little further away and goes into the store.

I complete some other duties, and then I am back to corralling another set of carts to the front when I see both sets of customers exiting the store.

The women load up their items, and the driver takes her keys out of her pocket. As she does so, a $100 bill falls to the floor and is blown a few feet away from them toward the store. None of them notice.

The gentleman does.

He picks it up and looks at it, then at the car full of the women as they are pulling out, then back at the bill, and then at me. He realizes I have seen the whole thing.

Gentleman: “I don’t see their name on it.”

He walked away. The women pulled out. I said nothing.

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A customer comes into our petrol station looking a little grumpy.

Customer: “You’re charging me 50p to use the air pump! 50p! I remember when it used to be 20p!”

I look at the customer directly in the eyes. Did he really just set me up for this? I can’t believe I actually get to say it.

Me: “Well, that’s inflation for you.” 

The customer stared back at me… and ever so slowly, a smile crept across his face. He walked out giggling, leaving me amazed that the universe had gifted me such a perfect setup.

A few jobs ago, I was your basic corporate mook sitting in an office in a major European city. A few times per year, I had to travel to another office in a small town in Belgium. I didn’t book my travels. The way it worked was that I sent an email to someone in Human Resources with dates and places, and they would come back with flight and hotel booking. 

Here’s how the trip worked most times: wheels up at 6:00 or 6:30 in the morning and touchdown around 8:00 at the Zaventem airport. I took only hand luggage, so I was off to the airport’s train station in the terminal. I spent some forty minutes on the train; my destination was something like the second stop. It was a twenty-minute walk from the station to the office. I was on my computer by 10:00ish and worked the whole day. It was about the same when flying home on an evening flight.

One memorable flight was different. They booked me on Europe’s favourite low-cost airline. They avoid the expensive morning peak hours, so I flew at 9:30 or something to Charleroi, which is a “secondary” airport for Brussels, serving low-cost airlines. I took a bus from the airport to Charleroi town, a train from Charleroi to Brussels, and another train from Brussels to my destination. I stopped for lunch somewhere along the way and arrived at the office around 2:00 pm. Basically, I got paid for looking out of the window and waiting for the next transport. And, of course, it was the same on the way back.

I really hope the ticket price difference was worth it.

I work at the customer service desk in a grocery store. Recently, the lottery payout was at almost $2,000,000,000. I had a gentleman come to my window and purchase almost $1,200 in tickets. He made a joke I’ve heard a million times over.

Customer: “If I don’t win, I get my money back, right?”

He even said this while laughing and smiling. I gave him a generic polite smile, and he went on his way.

They drew the numbers the following day, and I heard that someone in California had won. I showed up to my shift, and it seemed to be a normal shift. That was until the gentleman came back. Despite one of my coworkers offering him assistance, he said he wanted to talk with me. I finished with the customer I was with and waved him over.

Before I could greet him he slammed down his pile of tickets, receipt included.

Customer: “Okay, missy, I didn’t win anything! You said if I didn’t win, I would get my money back, so I am here for my full refund!”

I was slightly taken aback. I was trying to figure out if he was being serious or not, and after a moment, I realized he was.

Me: “Sir, regardless of winning or not, all sales on any lottery tickets are final.”

Customer: *Screaming* “NO, NO, NO! You said it yesterday! If I didn’t win, I get my money back! Now refund me before I call the cops and tell them you stole all my money!”

Me: *Calmly* “I understand that you are upset that you lost, but no one has stolen your money. This is just how the lottery system works.”

I could see he was getting more upset and not wanting to hear what I had to say. This was when it became one of those “I don’t get paid enough” moments. He had started getting more and more upset, so he decided to start knocking over a nearby display of candy and glass soda and beer bottles while shouting about how we had stolen his money. I had enough of this and called for both management and security.

Management ended up calling the police while security detained the man, and he ended up causing more than $350 in damages. It was definitely an interesting one.