Passing On The Need To Vent To Someone Else

, , , , , , | Friendly | November 5, 2019

I came out of work a week or so ago to find that someone had keyed my car. There were scratches all up and down one side of the car, and one of the mirrors had actually been broken off and was laying on the ground. I initially thought someone might have scraped against the car, but the scratches were in big circles that really couldn’t have occurred just from someone scraping across the side.

As I was examing the damages and trying to figure who would do this, I found a scrap of paper wedged underneath my windshield wiper. I pulled it out and found that it was a short note.

It read, “Sorry, needed to vent.”

That was it. Thanks to the fact that my work’s parking lot doesn’t have cameras, they got away clean, so I hope they enjoyed venting $800 worth of damages onto my car.

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The Beautiful Age Of The Camera Phone

, , , , , | Legal | October 22, 2019

(My family uses a video app that allows the users to send short videos to each other. My grandma, especially, loves using it, because it allows her to send videos whenever she thinks of us, and she can rewatch videos we’ve sent when she feels lonely. I am in my car in the parking lot of my local store, having just finished watching my grandma’s latest video. I am preparing to record my own response when my car jolts with a loud crunch. I glance out the back and see that another car came into the neighboring stall at too wide of an angle and hit my side. I get out and walk around, phone in hand, just in time to see them pull away and start speeding off down the row. I quickly hit the record button and turn my phone around to capture the video of their car and license plate, stepping out to keep it in view, so I can have a record when I contact the police. Evidently, the driver sees me, because they slam to a stop and then quickly reverse back down the row, swerving close enough to risk clipping the parked cars as they do so. They roll down the passenger window as they get to me.)

Driver: *shrieking at the top of her lungs* “I DO NOT CONSENT! I DO NOT CONSENT!”

Me: “I didn’t consent to you hitting my car, and you still did!”


(She got out of her car just as my video hit the time limit, so I started another and kept recording as she tried to run around the car to grab my phone. I dodged around my car, and we circled a bit before I managed to jump into my driver’s seat and closed the door. I’d managed to get a shot of the damage to the side of my car as we were circling, and so I finished that video and started calling the police. The lady was banging on my door and pulling at the handle while I did so, and my grandma and my mom were both sending me texts asking what the heck the videos I’d just shared were about. Long story short, the lady sped off before the police got there, I was able to give my account, and we were able to figure out how I could share the video evidence with them. I managed to calm down both my mom and my grandma, but for weeks afterward, my grandma would end all of her videos reminding us to “watch out for loonies in cars.”)

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Love The (M)Old Vehicles

, , , | Right | September 30, 2019

(I am checking one of my sites, a domestic parking area. One car has been sitting here for a while, license plate shows it’s actually up for “clipping.” EU regulations demand a bi-yearly checkup or they lose their plates. Although this area doesn’t have time limits, the car is unsightly and currently hindering new paving work. I call the owner, telling him to move his car or it will be towed. He immediately throws a fit.)

Owner: “I am allowed to stay here as long as I want. Besides, this car is in use all the time and I live here, in [address]!”

Me: “Sir, the car is not in use, and it’s in the way. You need to put it somewhere else.”

Owner: “How can you claim my car is not in use? You need to prove that!”

Me: “Your steering wheel is moldy.”

Owner: *pause* “I’ll have it moved by Friday.”

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The Battery Is Giving Him The Finger

, , , , , , | Friendly | August 27, 2019

I was sitting in the parking lot at my local superstore waiting for my friend when I felt the entire car rock. I looked over to see a man loading groceries into the car beside me. He had opened his door far enough and with enough force that he shook my car. I looked at him for a moment before shaking my head and returning to my phone.

Then, there was a knock on my passenger window. I looked up to see the man peering in at me. He grinned and gave me the middle finger before getting in his car.

I’m a small woman and as such I generally avoid confrontation, but I was angry. I got out of my car to inspect the damage and saw that, aside from a small scratch I couldn’t prove he’d made, the door was fine. The man saw me get out and quickly locked his door and put his keys in the ignition. 

Click click. He stared at his steering wheel, confused. Click click. Again. Click click. He pounded on the steering wheel. Click click. Click click. Click click.

I must have looked crazy, standing in that parking lot laughing as hard as I was. His battery was dead! He sat there for another half-hour in 85-degree weather before he got it started.

I would have helped him jump his car even after he hit mine, had he not acted like such an a** about it. In the end, I didn’t have to do anything; karma did my dirty work for me!

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Her Argument Rings Hollow

, , , , | Friendly | August 13, 2019

(I have parked in a disabled space. I get out and head to the store. There is a woman having a cigarette who notices me and practically sprints to me.)

Woman: “You self-entitled prick!”

Me: *taken aback*

Woman: “It’s people like you who make life unbearable for the rest of us.”

Me: “You mean the disabled space? I’m–”

Woman: “–a self-entitled a***hole who wants to make disabled people like me, who can barely walk, suffer!”

(I sigh, lift my leg, and knock hard against my right shin. It sounds hollow. The woman recoils at the noise in disgust.)

Me: “I’m an amputee.”

(Normally, this is enough to end the situation, but in this instance, the woman continued to look disgusted until she started shaking and collapsed on the floor. I panicked, thinking she had fainted. I tried to check her pulse before trying to run to the store for help. I heard movement behind me and saw the woman getting up and running to her car. I stopped and stared at her as she fumbled to unlock the door. She noticed and flipped me off before getting in and driving away.)

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