In For A Penny… And That’s It

, , , , , | Right | March 17, 2020

(I’m repairing a payment machine which is turned off, the front of the machine is open, and I have some of the larger components on the ground at my feet. I am approached by a middle-aged customer.)

Customer: “The machines won’t accept my pound coin!” *holds up a plastic toy pound coin*

Me: “That’s because that’s not a pound coin, pal. It’s not even made of metal!”

Customer: “But it says one pound on it.” *looking bewildered* “Can you change it for another one, please?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not giving you a real pound coin for a toy pound coin!”

(She begins to walk away and I return to my repairs. I then hear something rattle down the open frontage of the machine and look down to see the toy pound coin on the floor, and I look around to see the customer squeezed between a window and the machine front.)

Customer: “See, I told you it wouldn’t work.”

(I hand her back the coin.)

Me: “It’s not a pound coin, and no amount of you trying to act dumb is going to make me give you a pound!”

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I Mean, If You Like Dents, Go For It

, , , , , | Friendly | February 18, 2020

(My boyfriend comes and brings me lunch on my break. Since it is a nice day, we decide to sit outside and enjoy some sunshine. We notice that a customer has let a cart start to roll across the parking lot, so my boyfriend decides to run and try to catch it.  Out of nowhere, a lady in a car starts speeding towards him and the cart.)

Lady: *mouthing something inaudible*

Boyfriend: *figuring she is irate about the loose cart* “Sorry, this isn’t mine; I was trying to catch it.”

Lady: *yelling out the window* “I was going to try to stop it with my car.”

Me: *facepalm*

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Another Gen Z Innovation: Self-Kidnapping Children!

, , , , , , | Friendly | February 13, 2020

(My apartment complex has a large playground in the middle where kids from all over the neighborhood come to play, even on cold days. One Saturday, I am coming out to the car to go to the store, but I have to scrape ice off of the car. I unlock my car, pull out the scraper, and then start scraping the frost off my windows. When I get around to working on the back window, I see some movement by the driver door. I turn to look just in time to see a little boy, about eight or so, opening the door and climbing inside.)

Me: “Hey!”

(Before I can circle around the trunk, he pulls the door shut and I hear the sound of the locks locking on the car. I walk up to the driver door and he is sitting there with that mischievous grin kids have when they are doing something they know is bad but think is exciting. I knock on the window.)

Me: “Kid, you need to get out.”

(He just keeps grinning. I look around and see a woman making her way over. I think she is the kid’s mom, coming to get him and apologize. Silly me.)

Woman: “What are you doing to my baby?! Get away from my boy!”

Me: “Then get him out of my car!”

(I back up, but she just stands on the sidewalk by the front of the car and glares at me, like I shoved her kid into my car myself or something. After a few seconds, I lose patience and circle around, quickly scraping off the passenger windows. I then go to the rear door on the passenger side. Because my car is so old, the lock on that door doesn’t actually work, but it would cost too much to actually replace the whole thing, so I just live with it. I pull the door open and the kid’s face immediately goes from gleeful to wide-eyed surprised. The mom comes circling around the front.)

Woman: “Get away! Get away from my baby boy!”

Me: “THEN. GET. HIM. OUT. OF. MY. CAR.”

(Apparently, me shouting with no door between me and him was scary enough for the kid to decide to get out. He unlocked the door and shoved it open, banging my neighbor’s car, and ran off. Naturally, the mom didn’t go check on him. Nope, she kept yelling at me about staying away from her boy and about how she was going to call his uncle and have him come whoop me. I just closed the door, circled back around, climbed in the driver’s seat, and drove off, leaving her screaming on the sidewalk. Luckily, when I got back, there was no sign of her or her kid, and I haven’t seen her since then. I was able to explain the dent in my neighbor’s car to the owner, who laughed it off, and we both laughed about the messed-up mom.)

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Boss Gets A Citation Against Common Sense

, , , , , | Working | January 31, 2020

I work part-time for parking services customer service at a mid-sized university. We get a huge number of customers who think if they yell loud enough, someone will take their ticket away and not make them pay. Because of this, our appeals are entirely online, with the appeals committee kept well away from direct customer contact. I dislike that there is no backup for construction workers without easy access to a computer, or the elderly visiting professors who aren’t comfortable with being online. 

After a particularly nasty week, I see a man walking in with a citation easily visible in his hand. I brace myself for more yelling. Instead, he politely asks if there is a way not to pay. I look at the ticket. He had a temporary pass that had fallen out of his window. Happy to get a polite customer for a change, I spend over ten minutes walking him through the appeal on his phone. I confirm the appeal has gone through, and let him know there should be a response in about a week. 

As he leaves, my senior coworker comes around the corner and scolds me for taking so long with one customer. Only then does she look around at the deserted lobby and quiet phones. Shaking her head, she returns to her other tasks. 

I get the whole goal of short wait times, but really we should be able to help when there is time.

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Santa Versus Karen

, , , , , , , | Friendly | December 24, 2019

(It is around the holiday season. I’m at the mall, and you can imagine that it’s pretty packed with a bunch of people doing some last-minute shopping. I am roaming around the parking lot and can’t find any free spots for a good thirty minutes. Lo and behold, I see a large SUV backing out of a parking spot. In my wimpy Civic, I turn my clicker on to signal that I’m claiming this spot. As soon as the SUV completely backs out, I swerve in fast before anyone can see the empty spot. Of course, as I’m about to turn my car off, some Karen lady comes up to me with her car right behind mine.)

The Karen: “You took my spot!”

Me: “But you were nowhere in sight when I was waiting for it!”

(She keeps yelling and I honestly don’t have time for her bulls***.)

Me: “It’s the holiday season and I’m literally going to be in and out of the store; this isn’t something to be arguing about.”

The Karen: “That wasn’t the point of coming to you! You get out of the parking spot or else I’ll call security to remove your car!”

Me: “Maybe you should call Santa and his reindeers to hitch my car out of the spot.” *locks the door and walks away*

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