It Can Be Costly Being A B****

, , , , , , | Right | November 26, 2018

I work as a valet for a parking garage downtown. All of our parking spaces are reserved, and we do not offer self-parking at this location, as every space either belongs to a tenant for the office building above — they pay monthly for their own guaranteed space — or is reserved for us, as we valet customers for [High-End Business] in the building above us.

Time after time, even though it clearly states that we do not offer self-parking — in three spots, including as you grab your ticket from the machine as you enter the garage — I get people who ask where the self-parking is. I explain that either I park their vehicle for them in this garage, or they can use the self-parking lot, which I direct them to. Since valet is complimentary, most customers don’t mind.

Today, some lady comes in as I am manoeuvring vehicles around to let someone leave, and she parks in a reserved spot. She steps out of her Porsche and starts getting some things. I roll down the window and tell her she is parked illegally and needs to move her vehicle. She scoffs and goes back to her things. I finish moving vehicles around, and tell her again that she’s illegally parked and if the tenant comes back — which I know he is going to, since I literally spoke to him about twenty minutes ago — I will have to boot her vehicle.

She scoffs at me again, shouting that she doesn’t give a f*** and, “I only have thirty minutes to do my project; I’m already late,” and walks away.

So, guess who’s coming back out to a boot on her vehicle? And guess who’s going to pay the $100 fine to get it off?

And to think, I had a valet ticket in my pocket. All she had to do was give me her last name and the keys and I could have taken over from there so she could get upstairs.

But, you wanted to be a b****; I hope it was worth your $100.

Putting All Your Groceries In Someone Else’s Car At Christmas Can Be Misconstrued As Gifting

, , , , , , | Friendly | November 14, 2018

My mom is known for being absent minded at times, especially when tired. It is after work during Christmas time, and she rightfully is a bit more stressed and tired than usual. On her way home this evening, she stops to buy groceries at the local market. When she emerges from the store, everything is covered by a light snow. She gets to her car, fumbles a bit with the key and opens the trunk. She is in the process of emptying her shopping cart in the back of the car when she hears a faint cough.

She freezes. Silence. Ever so slowly, she raises her eyes up to see four people, all seated and buckled up, looking at her in shock. She looks at them, they look at her. She checks the car and it looks the same. She then checks the number plate and notices it is not her car. She turns her head and sees that her car is the one right next to it.

Without a word and without breaking eye contact with the family, she gets all of her groceries out of their car, slowly closes the trunk ,and walks a few meters to hers. They leave while she is still filling her trunk with the bags, and they still look shocked. From now on, she always checks the license plate before touching any car!

Driving Yourself Into A Dead End

, , , , | Legal | August 7, 2018

(My office has a parking lot straight across the road from us, where my coworkers and I park our vehicles. Since my office is at the front, I can see the vehicles that come and go through the day. It’s late morning when I notice a red Mercedes parked beside my car, and the owner is apparently waving their hands around, gesturing between vehicles. I hurry out to see what’s going on and see there’s a large red smear on the back of my car, and my bumper has been dented.)

Me: “Oh, God, what happened?”

Owner: “I’ll tell you what! When you parked your d*** car, you hit my Belle!”

Me: “Your… what?”

Owner: “You hit my f***ing car!!”

Me: “That is practically impossible. When did you get here?”

Owner: “I got here over an hour ago. Look at this. Look what you did! I want your insurance information now!

Me: “Fine. And I need yours. However, it’s obvious you hit my car.”

(By this time, a coworker has come out to see what is going on. I give her my phone to ask her to take pictures while I trade information with the car owner.)

Me: “I’m not pulling my insurance information out until you get yours.”

Owner: “I shouldn’t have to! You hit me!”

Me: “Buddy, I’ve been here since 7:30. I have been in my d*** office over there this whole time. How else do you think I saw you standing out here, waving your arms around like a loon? Either get your papers out, or I call the cops. Since I have witnesses to prove where I was, I’m pretty sure you’re going to be the one getting in trouble.”

Owner: *splutters* “How dare you?! Do you know who I am?”

Me: “The a**-hole who hit my car. I’m calling the police.”

(Funny how me saying that introduced the insurance card. I still called the cops, because his insurance paperwork was outdated. He still didn’t understand why he was getting a ticket. When I called his insurance, I had to fax them a copy of the police report, because he’d told them it was my fault.)

Pokémon Go To The Police!

, , , , , , , , | Hopeless | July 30, 2018

I work in a store in an outdoor shopping mall. If I end up closing, my boyfriend and I will eat a late dinner, and then drive down the main strip a few times hitting Pokéstops, as there are a ton in the area.

We also try to beat one of the gyms in the area most nights. Yesterday we parked to battle the gym and ended up winning and claiming it for our team. Less than a minute later, a police car pulled up behind us, blocking us from backing out of the parking spot.

The officer came to the car and wasted no time telling us that it was his gym and he would be taking it back!

It made our night, and now we are in for a real battle!

Entitled To Their Opinion, But Not Their Assumption

, , , , , , | Friendly | June 8, 2018

(I’ve recently hurt my knee and am wearing a brace that allows me to walk, but walking or standing for too long is painful, so I park as close to the grocery store as I can. As I’m getting out of my car, I notice a woman parked a few spaces down and across the aisle is glaring at me as she helps an elderly woman out of her vehicle. I force a smile to be polite, close my door, and lock my car up, then take off toward the store.)

Woman: *loudly* “Mom, look at that one! Bet she’s not even hurt. Stupid, lazy teenager. And look at her brand new car! I bet she’s never paid a dime on it! Entitled teenage brat.”

(I would usually ignore an idiot like her, but I’m in a bad mood and my knee is throbbing, so I whirl around as best I can and flip her off.)

Me: *shouting back* “Actually, I’m a spoiled 30-year-old housewife, with a three-year-old used car, not a spoiled teenager! Thanks for playing, b****, but you don’t win the golden Kewpie doll!”

(I turn and start for the store again as the elderly woman starts cackling gleefully.)

Elderly Woman: *loud enough for me to hear* “Serves you right for being a judgmental c***!”

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