Unfiltered Story #131593

, | Unfiltered | December 5, 2018

(I work in customer care for a well-known photo company, which has grown from developing analogue film to being an online-based company that only deals with digital pictures. Despite the decade-long rollover is still somewhat new to our older clientele, despite the decrease in use of analogue film over the last decades. This is a usual phone call from said older customers.)
Me: “Hi! Thank you for calling [company name]! What can I do for you?”
Customer: “Hi! Do you still develop film?”
Me: “No, unfortunately we discontinued that service September of last year.”
Customer: “Oh no! Are there others who still develop?”
Me: “Yes, fortunately [competing company] still develop film in their stores, so you can contact them for further assistance.”
Customer: “But you do not develop any film?”
Me: “No.”
Customer: *in a panicky voice* “When did you stop?”
Me: “… September of last year.”
Customer: “But I have so many films that need developing! What should I do now?”
Me: *head on desk* “As I’ve previously said, [competing company] still develops film in their stores …”

Assuming Brick Walls Are Doors Shouldn’t Be Left To Muggles

, , , , | Right | November 28, 2018

(Our mall has recently been renovated. Most of the stores have closed and the building has been turned into a strip mall. When the building was an indoor mall, we always had customers coming into our store to ask us questions about the mall in general, or about other stores, since our store was closest to the entrance. We thought we would be finally getting away from that now that there is no “mall” anymore, and every store has their own entrance. Of course, we are wrong. Here are transactions that happen far too many times a day.)

Customer #1: “How do I get to [Store]?”

Me: “It’s just along the strip now, with its own entrance.”

Customer #1: “So it’s gone?!”

Me: “No, it’s out front with its own entrance, like every other store.”

(And this one…)

Customer #2: “How do I get into the mall?”

Me: “You don’t. There’s no mall anymore.”

Customer #2: “No, but I need to get to [Store].”

Me: “Yeah, it has its own entrance now, just like us. It’s just along the strip out front.”

Customer #2: “But they’ll be bringing the mall back, right?”

Me: “No. It’s a strip mall now.”

Customer: “Right, until they’re done renovating.”

Me #2: “No. They’re renovating to make it a strip mall.”

(And this one…)

Customer #3: “I have an appointment at [Store] and now I can’t get to it!”

Me: “Yes, you can. It’s just out front, right in between [Other Stores]. It has its own outside entrance.”

Customer #3: “No, it doesn’t! There’s a fence around the doors!”

Me: “There’s a fence around the old mall doors, but [Store] is farther down, with its own entrance.”

Customer #3: “No! There’s a fence around it!”

(And this one…)

Customer #4: “How am I supposed to get into the mall!?”

Me: “You can’t anymore. Every store has its own outside entrance now.”

Customer #4: “But there’s a fence in front of the mall doors!”

Me: “Yes, because they’re doing construction. There’s a store going in there.”

Customer #4: “Well, how do I get into the mall, then?!”

Me: “You can’t. There’s no mall anymore.”

(And this one…)

Customer #5: “So, is this [Our Store] and also [Other Store]?”

Me: *confused* “No… It’s just [Our Store].”

Customer #5: “But [Other Store] isn’t in the mall anymore. So, is it in here?”

Me: “No, this is just [Our Store]. [Other Store] is farther down, with its own entrance.”

Customer #5: *looking around* “So, I can’t get to it from in here, then?”

Me: “No.”

(And yet another… Our new outside door is finished and is being used by the public. The construction crew has just finished putting the wall in where our old mall door used to be. It’s a complete, finished, drywalled, and painted wall.)

Customer #6: “So, we can’t use that door anymore, then?”

If You Like Piña Coladas, And Getting Caught In Small Talk

, , , , , | Right | November 1, 2018

(I live in Central America, and I work for the US branch of a famous online retailer. We’re halfway through the call and I’m waiting for some changes to go through in the customer’s account. The customer then asks me one of the most dreaded questions all off-shore customer service agents fear.)

Customer: “So, where are you located?”

Me: *groans inside and braces for the worst* “Costa Rica.”

(We’re heavily encouraged to not lie, even though a great deal of customers react negatively.)

Customer: “Oh, wow! I’ve heard a lot about Costa Rica from my friends who have been there for vacation!”

Me: *relieved* “Oh, really?”

Customer: “Yeah! They loved the beach and the jungles! Can you see the beach from where you are? I’d love to be able to watch the beach from my office. Do you guys even have computers and Internet? I’ve heard cellphones are new to you!”

(The customer then rants about huts, lack of electricity, and mosquitoes carrying deadly tropical diseases.)

Me: *laughs nervously and tries to butt in* “Sir, the changes went through. Is there anything else I can assist you with?”

Customer: “No, no! Thank you! You guys have fun. I hope to join you one of these days! Bye!” *hangs up*

(The customer must have thought I was assisting him from my private office on the second floor of a palm tree holding a banana to my ear, accessing his account on my fire-powered coconut computer and palm screen, and joining the nearest pool bar for piña coladas between calls. As sad as reality was for me, I hope the thought at least brightened his day.)

Unfiltered Story #124549

, | Unfiltered | October 28, 2018

I work the night shift in customer support for a trading website and we have a policy for sending funds back and if a client wants clarification we tell them to email the accounting department so the accounting department can get back to them.
This happened to me.

Client: Unfortunately I’m not sure as I’m not familiar with US pre-paid cards
Client: Just wondering why if i deposit 200 from a pre-paid visa then give you my existing bank account information why that wouldnt work
Client: oh ok
Me: You should email our accounting department at [email protected] and they will be able to tell you for sure
Client: ok thanks
Me: You’re welcome
Me: Is there anything else I can help you with?
Client: i just tried that email address and it just sends me back to the home page
Me: That strange you mean when you sent the email from your email provider it took you to our hompage instead of sending the email?
Client: oops i mean that [email protected] just took me back to the homepage
Client: web address
Client: can you send me a link to that ?
Me: It is not a link it is an email address for you to send emails to

Unfiltered Story #123510

, , | Unfiltered | October 15, 2018

Customer: Hi I’m trying to place an order online, but it’s asking me for the expiration date for my card and I don’t have that.

Me: Okay..?

Customer: So can you place the order for me?

Me: I’m sorry, I can’t submit an order without the expiration date.

Customer: Not even if I give you the last four of my social? Can you look it up?

Me: No I’m sorry, I don’t have access to your credit card information.

Customer: (very sarcastic) I guess I’ll just use a different credit card then!!

Me: Okay!

5 minutes later customers calls back:

Customer: I’m such a dummy! I ordered the wrong size!

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