Unfiltered Story #147126

, , | Unfiltered | April 16, 2019

(My dad is a truck driver that was injured. He worked for a while answering phones. One day, this happened.)

Dad: How can I help you?
Lady: My freight hasn’t arrived yet!
Dad: What’s your pro-number?
Lady: I don’t have a pro-number!
Dad: Who is the company that you are shipping from?
Lady: Um… (name of company)
Dad: It doesn’t register, there’s no company by that name in our database.
Lady: It’s your freight!
Dad: No, ma’am…
Lady: You’ll hear from me soon!
(Later on, she calls back.)
Lady: ITS YOUR FREIGHT!
(My dad hung up.)

Getting An Education Is On His Bucket List

, , , | Right | April 2, 2019

(I work at a customer service center for a website that sells books, DVDs, toys, etc. — a digital warehouse. A customer calls about a return.)

Caller: “I was hoping I could return these books; they were intended for his study.”

Me: “Sure, let’s see what we can do. What is the order number?”

Caller: *gives number* “I really hope we can return them, seeing as he kicked the bucket.” *uses a Dutch equivalent of this term*

Me: “Oh, no, I’m so sorry to hear that! Of course you can return them! I’m so sorry!”

(The books are within requirements anyway, so a return would always be possible.)

Caller: “Really? How nice of you. How do I return them?”

Me: *gives instructions* “Again, I’m so sorry.”

Caller: “It’s fine; he already looked for a new field.”

Me: “New study?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Your son is okay?”

Caller: “Yes, why did you think he wasn’t?”

Me: “You said he kicked the bucket!”

Caller: “Yes?”

Me: “That means he died!”

Caller: “No, no, no…. He didn’t die! Kicking the bucket means he gave up!”

(We had a good laugh about it and I was relieved her son was fine. In case you wondered, the proverb she used was, “De pijp aan Maarten geven,” meaning, “Giving a pipe to Saint Peter.” It can mean, “to give up,” but it’s quite often used for someone who passed away.)

Hoping You Were Cat-atonic

, , , | Right | March 6, 2019

(I work in the consumer care department of a pet food manufacturer.)

Me: “[My Name] speaking; how may I assist you?”

Caller: “Hi there. I buy your cat food, and for some reason all three of my cats are refusing to eat this new bag of food; something must be wrong with it. They just refuse to eat it at all!”

Me: “All right. Could you advise if there seems to be anything physically amiss with it? Does it look or smell different?”

Caller: “No, but they won’t eat it, so there must be something wrong! My cats are starving; they have nothing else to eat now!”

Me: “All right. I’ll just need a few details off of the bag, and then I can have a replacement delivered to you. We will also have the remaining food collected to do testing on it, to see if anything is wrong with it.”

Caller: “Oh, great! Uh… When might you arrive to collect the food? There might not be anything left by then; I have to keep feeding this food to my cats until you give me the replacement.”

Unfiltered Story #141858

, , | Unfiltered | February 26, 2019

(We work with doctors offices all over the country, often getting information from their databases or needing specific patient information for us to troubleshoot our program with them. I overheard my coworker describing this conversation with a customer.)

Coworker: Ok, the Excel file you sent is locked. We need the password for it.

Office: It could be one of two passwords.

Coworker: Alright. What’s the first one?

Office: “catdog”.

Coworker: …

Coworker: Ok, that didn’t work. What’s the other one?

Office: B – as in bananas – A…N…A…N…A…S.

Coworker: … So your password is “bananas”.

Office: Yes.

Frequently Annoying Questions

, , , | Right | February 22, 2019

(A new card has been implemented for a major transit company. My mother is a customer. When trying to register for a new account, we get locked out. We call customer service, and thirty-something minutes later we end up getting transferred to a supervisor.)

Mom: “Hi. We can’t register our card on your website.”

Me: *cuts in* “The third-party kiosk we bought it at didn’t give us a PIN, but they did ask for a birthday, so we thought that must be the PIN, and we tried three times and now we’re locked out.”

Manager: “Oh, of course. I’ll just unlock your account for you.”

(She did that and we were through in about a minute. I was just about to say thank you and hang up when my mom started asking more questions. She was reading questions off the FAQ page. In order. While looking at the answers. I ended up stealing the phone back after what seemed like an eternity and just saying thank you for their time and goodbye.)

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