Are You Shore?

, , , , , , | Related | July 31, 2021

This happened back in the 1970s. I was nearly five and my little sister would have been about three. After growing up in London, we had just moved to a small town.

Mum was taking my sister and me on our first trip to the shops in this new town. My sister was in her buggy and I was walking by the side. As we walked over the crest of a hill, something flat and grey-blue came into view, although neither my sister nor I paid any attention to it until Mum asked us about it.

Mum: “Do you see that blue thing in the distance?”

Sister & Me: “Yes, Mummy?”

Mum: “Do you know what it is?”

Our guesses included a stream, a river, a pond, and a lake until, eventually…

Me: “Mummy, is it the sea?”

Mum: “Yes!”

Sister & Me: “Wow!”

When we were growing up in London, Mum and Dad didn’t have a car, so going to the beach was a very rare event — maybe once a year — so Sis and I were quite taken with this knowledge that we were near the coast.

That night, when Sis and I were in our rooms, Mum came to check that we were asleep and was quite surprised to see me awake. I was really worried.

Mum: “Are you all right?”

Me: “You know the sea, Mummy?”

Mum: “Yes, dear?”

Me: “Will it still be there tomorrow?”

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Precocious And Precious!

, , , | Right | CREDIT: OctoberJ | July 12, 2021

This morning, Easter Sunday, I was working at my convenience store. A young man, about nine I’m guessing, rode his bike up to the store to shop for drinks for his family that was visiting. It’s a small town and I know his parents. He picked up an array of sodas and canned teas and came up to the counter.

Boy: “Where is the [Beer]?”

I had to pause for a moment.

Boy: *Very seriously* “I’m buying drinks for everyone and I want to buy a can of [Beer] for my dad because that’s what he likes best.”

Me: “You need to be twenty-one years old to buy beer.”

The boy just looked at his feet.

Boy: “Oh. Okay.”

He then revisited the pop coolers and found something else for dear old dad. It was absolutely adorable.

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The Biggest (And Cutest) Mood

, , , , , | Related | July 2, 2021

We have two small children, ages five and three. One morning, we are eating breakfast.

Three-Year-Old: *Quietly* “Mommy, are we going out today?”

Me: “Yes, we will soon go to kindergarten.”

The five-year-old slams their fist on the table.

Five-Year-Old: *Loudly* “Not again!”

The three-year-old gently puts their fist on the table.

Three-Year-Old: *Whispering* “Not again.”

Yeah, kids, I know the feeling.

For the record, the kids love their kindergarten and have absolutely no issues going there. They just hate waking up early to prepare for it.

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Second Best Compliments

, , , , , | Right | May 11, 2021

I work as a waitress at a small restaurant. We do not have a dedicated hostess; this is done by whichever waitress is available.

A father and his six-year-old son, both regulars, always sit in a specific waitress’s section. I greet them.

Me: “Would you like a table or a booth?”

Little Boy: “We’d like a booth in [Specific Waitress]’s section.”

Me: “[Specific Waitress] is not working today.”

Without missing a beat, the little boy says:

Little Boy: “Oh, can we have your second-best waitress, then?”

It was said so innocently, I couldn’t help but laugh along with the father.

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It’s As Simple As That

, , , , , , , | Romantic | May 2, 2021

My husband is working a late shift. I go to the garden gate with him to see him off. A woman and a little girl are walking past in the street.

Little Girl: “MUMMY! THOSE TWO MEN JUST KISSED!”

That woman avoids eye contact with us.

Woman: “Yes, that’s because they’re in love.”

Girl: “Awwww!”

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