The Holidays Are In Good Shape

, , , , , | Related | December 27, 2019

(My sister is trying to help my six-year-old nephew write a Christmas list.)

Sister: “Okay, [Nephew], what’s something that you need?”

Nephew: “A toothbrush and toothpaste?”

Sister: “I meant, what do you want for Christmas?”

Nephew: “Oh, presents.”

Sister: *laughing to herself a little* “Yes, but what presents?”

Nephew: “I don’t know. A square one, maybe?”

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Quite The Operation Santa’s Got Going

, , , , , , , | Healthy | December 25, 2019

(I work at a vet clinic that is open late night for emergencies and offers boarding. A couple of years ago, [Former Coworker] had to stop working in order to care for a disabled family member, but she left on good terms with the doctor and still has coffee with the manager regularly. Her son has been asking for a dog for quite a while now. Not just any dog, he knows the exact breed and color pattern he wants. At the staff meeting Monday, the doctor let us all know that [Former Coworker] was going to be surprising her son with a puppy for Christmas. She had found the exact dog he wanted and would be adopting it later this week and bringing it here to board with us until late Christmas Eve when she would pick it up. The morning she brings the puppy in, [Coworker] and I are working at the front desk. She is greeting people as they walk in and handling check-ins. I am checking out a family who just finished their cat’s exam. They have a little girl about six years old, too short to be seen over the counter from where [Coworker] is.)

Coworker: “Hello, how can I… Oh, hey, [Former Coworker], long time no see. So, this is the puppy Santa is bringing [Son]? He’s gonna be so thrilled; it’s exactly what he’s been asking for.”

Young Girl: *very loudly* “If Santa is bringing that puppy to someone, why is he here? Shouldn’t he be at the North Pole?”

(My coworker is clearly at a loss for words and starts sputtering.)

Former Coworker: *just hands [Coworker] the puppy and bends down to the girl* “Your parents haven’t told you? See, when Santa brings a child a pet he calls the parents first to make sure the house has everything that it needs, like food and toys and a dog bed, and space for the animal, and that the kid can take care of it. Then, if the parents say it’s okay, Santa looks all over the world to find the perfect animal, and then, because he doesn’t want the puppies and kittens to get bored in the sleigh and eat other kid’s presents, he has his helpers take them to a safe place near the kid’s house. So, Christmas Eve, Santa will come here and pick up the puppy right before coming to [Son]’s house.”

Little Girl: “Oh, so, that’s why when I got [Cat], Santa just brought her bed and food and had Mommy take me to the shelter after Christmas?”

Former Coworker: “Exactly, he knew [Cat] would be happier playing at the shelter rather than being stuck in his sleigh all night, and that she would just get into trouble with all the wrapping paper on Christmas morning.”

Mom: “That’s right; we got a call from an elf letting us know where [Cat] was.”

Former Coworker: “Yep, the elves have every parent’s phone number. Parents get calls from the elves to make sure they have the batteries and other things needed for the toys, helmets for when they get bikes, that sort of thing.”

(At this point, the girl’s family finishes paying and leaves, the little girl happily asking her parents if Santa has called them about presents this year.)

Coworker: *sighs in relief* “I can’t believe you thought of that so fast; I was so worried I’d just ruined Christmas.”

Former Coworker: *laughs* “Last year, my sister got caught by her girls setting up a playhouse, she told them that Santa was behind schedule and woke her up and asked her to put it together so it would be all ready in the morning. The girls just nodded and went back to bed, but in the morning, the oldest said it was a bit rude of Santa not to tell Mommy she would need to set it up. And we all agreed that Santa should have had an elf call first.”

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Grandma Has Been Good This Year

, , , , , , | Related | December 24, 2019

(I am in line at a fast food restaurant during their Breakfast With Santa event. A woman comes in with her three- or four-year-old daughter. Mom points to Santa and asks the girl who it is.)

Little Girl: “I don’t know.”

Mom: “Yes, you do; it’s Santa.”

Little Girl: “That is not Santa; that is a people.”

Mom: “Santa is a person.”

Little Girl: “Santa is not a people. Santa is Santa. People like to play dress up because it’s fun. We will take a picture to make Grandma happy.”

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From The Mouth Of Babes

, , , , , , , | Right | December 18, 2019

Our family went out for dinner one evening. As the waitress came to take our order, we could see that she looked like she was having a terrible day. She looked like she was completely exhausted and worn out. She took our orders and left, returning to the table shortly with our drinks orders. My nine-year-old son looked up, gave her a big smile, and said, “Awesome service!”

Her whole face lit up. From then on, we received VIP treatment, everything was perfect, she couldn’t do enough for us. We asked for her name and told her manager the service was great. Every time we went after that, we asked for her, and every time, we got amazing service and big smiles.

Sometimes just a kind word or two can make such a difference.

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He Is So Not Ready For Fortnite

, , , , , | Related | November 22, 2019

(On my way back to my department from lunch, I pass a mom with two small kids in her cart. The boy is about five years old, and is teary and sniffling.)

Boy: “That really hurt my feelings!”

Mom: “Oh?”

Boy: “The game really hurt my feelings!”

Mom: “Dying in the game hurt your feelings?”

Boy: “Yeah…”

Mom: “I’m sorry, honey.”

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