(I work for a chain gas station in a very small Illinois town.  The residents of said town have a reputation of being very rude and cranky.  One customer approaches the counter with 2 beers.  While I check him out, another customer gets in line behind him.  The bar code on his beer is silver in color and difficult to scan.)

Me:  I’m sorry, sir. These things always take a minute to scan.

(I’m tilting the can at different angles, trying to get the scanner to register it.)

Customer 1:  If it doesn’t ring up it must be free!

Customer 2:  Yeah, wouldn’t that be something.  But you know, the customer is always right.

Customer 1:  Hey man, that’s true!

(Both are smiling and seem to be in good moods, which is very rare, so I decide to joke a little too.)

Me:  There are definitely exceptions to that rule!

(Both customers immediately lose their good spirits and put on frowns.  I finish up with the first customer and hand him his beer.)

Me:  Have a good day, sir.

Customer 1:  ******* *****…

Customer 2:  Yeah!

(I’m a manager at a convenience store. I am alone on shift and have been fairly steady. I am ringing up [Customer #1] when [Customer #2] pushes next to him and shakes money in my face.)

Customer #2: “Here. Put this on pump #2.”

Me: “Sir, I’ll be with you in a moment. I need to finish with this gentleman in front of me.”

Customer #2: “I’m not trying to cut in line. I’m just giving you my money now.”

Me: *ignoring him and speaking to [Customer #1]* “Anything else for you today?”

Customer #1: “I—”

Customer #2: *loudly interrupts* “I don’t see why you just can’t take my money now. I’m here. I’m not cutting in line.”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but if you’re insisting that I take your money before his, then you are, in fact, trying to cut in line. Now, please let me finish with this customer, and then I’ll help you.”

Customer #2: “So, you won’t take my money now?”

Me: “No, sir, not until it’s your turn.”

Customer #2: *suddenly slams his hand down on the counter and starts shouting* “I’m a minister! You will respect me! I deserve your respect! Respect me!”

([Customer #1]’s eyes get big. He mouths, “Sorry,” and then quickly takes his purchases.)

Me: *smiles brightly at [Customer #2]* “What did you need, sir?”

Customer #2: *throws the money on the counter* “Pump #2. You could’ve done that already! I’ll show you respect! I’m a man of God…” *continues to rant as he’s walking out the door*

Customer #3: *who had been watching quietly behind him* “I feel sorry for the people in his church.”

Me: “If he acts like that, me, too.”

My gas light just came on, so I pull in to a gas station. I pull my car up to a pump, right behind the only other car at the pumps. In the car in front of me, there is a woman in the passenger seat. The man she’s with is using his debit card at the pump on the driver’s side, with the driver’s door open. He turns toward her to say something, and I notice a lit cigarette in his right hand! I hope for the best and try to assume he’s not a complete idiot and is about to put it out. Because I read stories on this site, though… I stay in my car and pretend to use my phone for a few minutes and observe… just in case.

No such luck. He is a complete idiot. He gets his debit info put in and grabs the pump handle with his thumb, pinky, and ring finger of his right hand… the same hand that has a lit cigarette between the middle and index fingers. He somehow manages to squeeze the handle before the nozzle makes it into the gas tank, causing gasoline to spray all over the side of his vehicle and the ground around him! He hollers a little just from the surprise of it, and somehow, nothing ignites, but I have never left a gas station so quickly in my life!

It is pretty clear that the woman in the car saw what had happened and realized the man was holding a lit cigarette as I am making my exit. She gets out of the car and rips into him, Jerry Springer style; she whoops him all the way around the four pumps. And she is at least six months pregnant!

(I work at a Kroger gas station that is located in the richest zipcode in Indiana, so some people think they’re better than you sometimes. It was a slow night, so i was sitting towards the back of the kiosk,  and a customer came to the window).
Customer: I need a receipt from pump 8.
(Pump 8 is always getting jammed)
Me: Ok, no problem
Customer: Maybe since you are just sitting there not doing anything, you should go out there and fix it!
Me: (shocked he would say that to me) yea, i’ll take care of that!

(So I started working at a 24 hour gas station convenience store owned by a particular national brand. This happened in my first week.)

*Big burly guy storms in, easily 6’6″ tall and all muscle*

Guy: Why can’t I use my [Store] card to get my discount?!

Me: *shaking a little bit, despite being 6′ myself.* I’m sorry, sir. I’ve been getting complaints all day about it, and unfortunately, I don’t know why.

Guy: *instantly calm* Oh, alright then. Can I get two pack of [popular cigarette brand]?