The Beard Is Feared

, , , , | Friendly | December 11, 2017

(This happens in the days before self-service petrol stations. We are heading to a fancy dress party, with my male cousin dressed as a woman.)

Service Attendant: *approaching the driver’s window from behind and noticing what looks like a gorgeous redhead in the driver’s seat* “Hi, honey, what can I get you today? How about my phone number?”

Cousin: *giggling like a girl and acting embarrassed, with his hands covering his lower face, turns, and bats his eyes at the attendant* “Ooh, can you fill it up please?”  

Service Attendant: *winking and smiling* “Sure thing, honey.”

Cousin: *using his normal, deep, male voice* “And hurry up about it.”

Service Attendant: *looks back in shock at my cousin, who has now revealed his bearded chin*

(After we drive away and are all having a good laugh:)

Cousin: “That felt so good. I can’t understand how you lot have to put up with that sort of s*** constantly. The look on his face was so worth it.”

Fueling Their Entitlement

, , , | Right | December 6, 2017

(I have a meeting with my boss, so I decide that I need to dress up a little extra for work. I’m wearing a dress, suit jacket, and heels. I stop to fill up my car with gas. There is one other car there, and that customer is honking her horn and shouting for an employee. An employee comes out and starts pumping her gas. I’m also female.)

Customer: “Well, finally! I’m on my way to work, and I can’t mess up my outfit!”

Employee: “No problem, ma’am. We’ll get you filled up.”

(The employee finishes up and spots me at the next pump over.)

Employee: “Good morning, young lady. Do you also need help?”

Me: “Oh, no. I’m fine.”

(The other lady turns around and stares at me.)

Me: *in a slightly louder voice* “I can fill up my own car. But thank you for offering.”

(The lady lets out an annoyed yell, slams her car door, and peels out of the parking lot.)

Me: “Good luck today.”

Employee: “Thanks. I’m going to need it.”

Facts Versus Opinions: It’s Life Or Death

, , , , | Right | December 5, 2017

(My dad and I are out running errands when we pull into a gas station to fill up. A young couple pulls up nearby and I overhear their conversation. The guy gets out of the running car to pump gas, then the girl leans over and turns the engine off.)

Guy: “Hey, why’d you turn it off?”

Girl: “You aren’t supposed to run the engine while you pump gas.”

Guy: “What? Why not?”

Girl: “I don’t know; those are the rules.”

(They go back and forth for a bit so I decide to intervene.)

Me: “Engines run on combustion. Putting gas in a tank that’s running could cause a fire.”

Girl: “See?”

Guy: *skeptical* “Well, people can believe what they want to believe, but we’ll do it your way.”

Screaming For Fuel Until You’re White In The Face

, , , , | Right | November 30, 2017

(While I’m filling my car I observe a man trying to work the pump across from me, and speaking out loud in a very noticeable accent.)

Customer: “Why won’t this work? Declined again!” *pushes intercom button for gas station attendant service* “It keeps saying my credit card is declined; I don’t know why it isn’t working!”

Attendant: “Please come inside the store, sir, and you can prepay your fuel in here.”

Customer: “I just don’t understand why it isn’t working!”

Attendant: “You will have to come into the store to pay if the machine isn’t working.”

(This repeats for about six minutes. As I walk towards him to go into the store, I ask him:)

Me: “How long have you been in Canada, now?”

Customer: “Only three days. This pump isn’t working right, and the employee isn’t coming to help me!”

(As I pass by I tap the, admittedly, poorly-phrased sign on the pump: “Foreigners, please pre-pay for fuel inside store.” He takes a second to read it, then hollers after me:)

Customer: “But I’m white!

(As I left he was still out there trying to argue with both the pump and the attendant, via intercom, that the card reader wasn’t working, and he still hadn’t made any attempt to enter the store. I tried one more time on my way by to explain to him that the pump didn’t care about his ethnicity; it just couldn’t read cards that weren’t issued in Canada. He was just going to have to go inside if he wanted gas! He was still standing outside when I drove off.)

When Inflation Overtakes Aging

, , , , , , | Right | November 29, 2017

(It’s probably about minus 30 outside at the full-service gas station. I fill a very elderly lady’s vehicle, clean all the windows, and clean the lights. She comes out and gives me a tip.)

Customer: “Here you are, dear. Go buy yourself a coffee.”

(I looked down to see she gave me a quarter and a dime. The smallest coffee is still a dollar twenty five. She must have been pushing 90, so I didn’t think anything of it. She was very sweet, otherwise.)

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