Bikes Versus Yikes

, | NJ, USA | Friendly | January 9, 2017

(I’m about six in the story, in the food court at our local mall. My parents go to pay and I wander off. A biker finds me.)

Biker: “Now, son, where are your parents?”

Me: “I don’t know!” *sniffle*

Biker: “We’ll find ’em! What do they look—”

(Suddenly, he is cut off by an abrupt shriek.)

Woman #1: “That gangster is taking that kid!”

Biker: “No, this kid just—”

Woman #1: “I don’t care! You were going to kidnap him! HELP!”

(Security wanders over and my parents see the ruckus from the food court.)

Security: “What’s going on here?”

Biker: “I’m trying to help—”

Woman #1: “This guy is taking this kid!”

My Mom: “[My Name], are you okay?”

Woman #1: “Obviously not! This gangster was going to take this kid!” *points at biker* “Arrest him!”

Woman #2: “Actually, I watched the whole thing. This man was just trying to help the kid find his parents, when you started shrieking.”

(Woman #2 was thanked and the shrieking one went home embarrassed! That biker is a friend of my family now, and is in fact very sweet!)

You’re A Very Gifted Person

| MA, USA | Related | January 2, 2017

(My stepmom and I are going out Christmas shopping.)

Step-Mom: “Maybe we could get your dad a nice sweater.”

Me: “Oh, I like this sweater, for me. This one’s nice, too, but not for me.”

Step-Mom: “Maybe we could look in the men’s department.”

Me: “Oh, my god! I need this cardigan! It’s so nice and fluffy and warm! For me!”

Step-Mom: “We are supposed to be Christmas shopping… for other people! Not for ourselves.”

Me: “Fine. I need a scarf set. Let’s try another store.”

(We go to a different store and look around when I’m distracted by some cute tops.)

Step-Mom: “Who are you looking at those for?”

Me: “Me!”

(She shakes her head and sighs walking away from me.)

Me: “I am the physical embodiment of the Christmas spirit! Embrace me and spread my joy!” *after a moment* “Oh that sweater is super cute… for me!”

Step-Mom: “And this is why they never let you out of your cage.”

A Black Mark Against That Friend

| USA | Friendly | December 29, 2016

(My friend is white but I’m Asian. We’re discussing a TV series that originated from comics. I didn’t know the comics at all then.)

Me: “I ship [Female Black Character] and [Male White Character].”

Friend: “I don’t like her; why the h*** is she even black?”

Me: “What’s wrong with being black?”

Friend: “She’s not supposed to be black. It’s just wrong.”

Me: “What do you mean? A black person is a person. Just like Asians. You even defended me when [Bully] said he didn’t like my colour.”

Friend: “What? No! I’m not racist.”

Me: “I’ve had experience with people who were fine with one race not their own, but still be racist to another race. Looks like you are. So are Asians okay just because I’m your friend?”

Friend: “I mean she, and [Black Character’s Black Father] should not have been made black. It’s not the dating part. That’s perfect, but they aren’t black!”

Me: “Still, you are not liking them because they’re black.”

Friend: “They aren’t supposed to be. They are only black because the actors are.”

Me: “Wait, what?”

Friend: “The TV changed it; they were white in the comics for 50 years. Why the stupid change?”

(Not the best way of initially expressing her dislike of deviation, but she has never mentioned any other dislike due to deviation. This was during the first season. It’s now third season and she’s still never mention any dislike of deviation again, which were plenty. I don’t get it…)


| Wilkes Barre, PA, USA | Right | December 26, 2016

(I am spending the day today with my grandmother to do some Christmas shopping, and because she has some birthday coupons for several of the stores to use. I need to use the restroom, so I tell her to go ahead and wait on a bench and I’d be right back.)

Me: *opens the restroom door just in time to see one of the stall doors SLAM shut as if someone rushed in there*

Woman: *is audibly scrambling around in the stall, presumably getting toilet paper to wipe the seat or something*

Me: *sneezes*

Woman: “Oh! Uh… You might wanna leave. I… I don’t wanna put anyone else through this.”

Me: *in partial disbelief of what I just heard her say, quietly exits the restroom and makes the long walk to the bathroom in the nearest department store*

(At least she was considerate. LOL!)

Half Price Drives Away Half The Customers

| Aurora, IL, USA | Working | December 20, 2016

(I’ve driven two hours to do some outlet shopping. I am excited to see that my favorite denim brand has an outlet, so I decide to stop in. These jeans are fairly expensive, so I’m looking to find some good deals. I’ve got shopping bags from 2 different stores: a popular high end purse outlet and a shoe store known for their super fuzzy boots and slippers. In short, it’s obvious that I’ve come to shop!)

Employee #1: *opens the door for me* “Hi there! How are you today?”

Me: “I’m doing good, and you?”

Employee #1: “Fantastic! Just so you know; everything in the store is 50% off today!”

Me: “Awesome! Thanks!”

(I notice that the store is very quiet, but don’t think anything of it. I head for the sale rack, and find the exact pair of jeans that I was looking at on the store’s full-price website. And they are in my size! If the additional 50% off applies, I can snag these for under $50! I look around for the employee at the door to confirm that the sale jeans are also under the storewide promo, but notice he is working with another customer. I spot another sales guy, and tap him on the shoulder.)

Me: “Excuse me, but I just wanted to confirm that the storewide 50% off applies the sale jeans also?”

Employee #2: “No.”

Me: “Really? Because the guy over there said—”

Employee #2: *patronizingly* “THIS is the $99 rack. Those are already marked down. OVER THERE is the $79 rack. Those are already marked down, too. THE FRONT of the store is 50% off. You know, the FULL PRICE jeans.”

Me: “Thank you very much.”

(I put the jeans back on the rack and walked out of the store. Now we know why the store was quiet! Poor Employee #1. He did his best.)

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