(I’m shopping for a dress shirt for graduation. We buy a shirt, but when we open up the package at home, we find out that the sleeves are ridiculously long on me, so we go to return it. We are greeted by the same employee who helped us in purchasing it.)

Employee #1: “Is something wrong?”

Mom: “It doesn’t fit.”

Employee #1: *perplexed look* “What do you mean?”

Mom: “The sleeves are way too long.”

(The employee measures the length of my arms, which are the same as what the package says.)

Employee #1: “It should be right. Why don’t you try it on?”

(I put the shirt on, and the sleeves are way too long.)

Employee #1: *really confused* “Oh, no, that’s definitely not right.”

(He takes the shirt to another employee and measure the sleeves on it, which are a good six inches longer than labelled, and they take the shirt to the back.)

Employee #1: “I’ve never seen anything like this.”

Employee #2: “Me, neither!”

Employee #1: “Hey, [Employee #3]! Check out the shirt [Employee #2] has! It’s a 39-inch arm length! It was labelled as 33 inches.”

Employee #3: “Really?!”

Employee #1: “Yeah! I didn’t even know we carried those.”

Employee #3: “We don’t!”

(The staff’s interest and confusion with this shirt were quite entertaining!)

(I do custom sewing out of my home. I’m in the last few weeks of my pregnancy, so I’m slowing down operations so I don’t make commitments I won’t be able to keep.)

Customer: “Hi. I want this outfit made for [Event about six weeks from now].” 

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m having a baby at the end of this month, so I don’t think I’ll be able to make your deadline. But here’s a list of local commercial vendors that can accommodate you and alter it, if needed.” 

Customer: “What if I paid you extra? Can you have it done then?”

(Dude, what part of “I’m about to give birth” do you not understand?)

I overheard this taking place at the fitting room. A man was with his daughter, who looked about nine or ten, old enough to try on clothing by herself. The fitting rooms are divided into a men’s section on one side and women’s on the other.

Fitting room attendant: “I’m sorry, sir, but you can’t go in there with her. If you’ll wait out here, maybe she can come out and show you what she’s wearing?”

Man: “No, I’m going in with her.”

Attendant: “Sir, that’s the women’s fitting room. I’m afraid I can’t let you go in there.”

Man: (getting angry) “I said I’m going in with her! How else will I know what fits her?”

Attendant: “She can come out and show you what she’s trying on. But I cannot let you go in with her, there are other women in the fitting room who won’t like a man in the women’s rooms.”

Man: “I don’t give a f*** about what they want! I’m going in there with my daughter!”

Attendant: “No, sir. You can’t.”

Man: “I’m done talking to you. Get your manager.”

(The attendant calls a manager over the walkie-talkie, and stays at her desk folding clothes.)

Man: “What are you still doing here? I SAID I’M DONE WITH YOU.”

Attendant: “Sir, my work is here. I’m here whether you specifically need my assistance or not.”

Manager: “Is there something I can help with here?”

Man: “Finally! This b**** won’t let me into the fitting room with my daughter.”

Manager: “Well, she looks old enough to try on clothing by herself. Is there a medical reason you’d need to stay with her?”

Man: “No. But I’m f****** going in there with her.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but she can come out and show you any clothes she tries on. We can’t let a man into the women’s fitting area.”

(At this point, the man begins screaming at both the manager and the attendant, while the daughter stands there looking miserable and embarrassed, until security shows up to escort him out. )

(We close at 9. It is 9:02 and there is a group of 4 women in the store as well as a woman not in their group. We can’t kick them out but we can encourage them nicely to finish up. I go up to the woman shopping on her own.)

Me: Is there anything I can help you find tonight?

Her: No, I’m just looking. What time do you close?

Me: We already did, but don’t worry, we still have a register open so you can purchase your things.

Her: (checks her watch) Oh! For some reason I thought you closed at 10. Sorry about that. I’ll be quick!

(She keeps browsing around in no hurry at all for another ten minutes before meandering up to the register with nothing new in her hands. I ring her out and she leaves.)

Manager: Did you tell her we were closed

Me: Yup

Our city has recently opened a very large shopping centre where the shops are open until 8pm, so it is popular in the early evening when people have just finished work and pop in on their way home. This particular night, I had gone to a particular department store which is known for it’s low prices and relatively poor quality but is altogether very high quality. I’ve picked up some items and go to queue, there are two queues and I follow a professional, well-to-do looking woman into the shorter queue when I overhear the following…

Customer: (to a supervisor training an employee at a closed till) Excuse me? Could you start serving please? It’s busy.

Supervisor: I’m in the process of training right now, but I’ll get some more staff on the tills.
*on tannoy* All checkout colleagues to level 1 checkouts please.

The woman looked slightly appeased, and one checkout colleague came over. I am called to a till whilst she is still being served and I listen in to her rant…

Customer: Why is it acceptable to keep customers waiting when there are so many chavs in the queue? I shouldn’t have to wait with these people! I have places to be!

Employee: I’m very sorry that this has upset you, we have everyone that we can serving at the moment, but 5pm is our busiest time…

Customer: But surely I’m more important? It’s bad enough that I’m shopping here in the first place considering the standard of your customers.

Employee: I’m sorry, but I don’t think that is an acceptable thing to say, I shop here too and don’t think there is a stereotypical shopper here.

Customer: That’s a big word for you!

Employee: *visibly annoyed now* Thank you Ma’am. My supervisor is by the exit if you would like to make a formal complaint.

The woman and I finish at the tills at the same time and she walks ahead of me, I notice her stopping by the supervisor so hang about and pretend to be really interested in the bath products by the till…

Customer: (to supervisor) EXCUSE. ME. I think you need to reevaluate your career choice as you clearly don’t know what you’re doing here.

Supervisor: I’m sorry?

Customer: Surely it’s more important to serve your customers than standing about pretending to look customers?! The queue was huge and we had to wait at least five minutes!

Supervisor: I’m sorry ma’am, I did call for more staff on the tills, but I’m training a new staff member on our till systems at the moment to ensure we have enough staff in future.

Customer: I didn’t see any training happening! He was just staring at the screen and you were smiling! You were just messing around and clearly pretending to look like you are important when really you just work in this shit hole!

Sadly at this point I had to leave to catch my train, but as I was leaving I noticed the security guard walking towards her, I hope she never *HAS* to shop ‘below her’ again! I personally enjoy being able to get new pyjamas for £5.