Customer: “Hi, I was looking for some white jeans.”
Me: “Sure! We have these ones over here except they’re a little cropped. We did have more but they went on sale and we are sold out here at the moment.”
Customer: “Oh, no, these are too white.”
Me: “Uh, okay, I can show you other white pants we have, but they aren’t jeans.”
(Five minutes after showing all the white pants we have:)
Customer: “So, you don’t have any white jeans?”
Me: *mental facepalm*
(A customer approaches me to find a shirt for his wife.)
Me: “Okay, sir, what size shirt does your wife wear?”
Customer: “Oh, gosh, I dunno… She’s about your size; what size do you wear?”
Me: *slightly uncomfortable* “Um, I wear a medium.”
Customer: *eyes me up and down* “Pfffft, really?”
(Thanks, dude, because working here wasn’t lowering my self-esteem quite enough.)
(I work in a plus sized clothing store that is known for having amazing bras that hold up and don’t stick with the “big bras only come in ugly or basic colors” stereotype. There’s two of us out on the sales floor and each of us is helping a customer. I’m near the front of the store with mine and my coworker is near the back, measuring an older, rather heavyset woman for a bra.)
Me: *to my customer* All right, so if you like the cut of this pink one, we also have this teal one just like it, and both will go really nicely with the half-sweater or a cardigan if you don’t like sleeveless. Or we have a yellow and a floral one similar, and each of those at least has a short sleeve.
Customer: Would they look okay with a blazer or something? I prefer long sleeves for dresses.
Me: Actually, we have this outfit on the mannequin here, which is a skirt and tank top that look like a dress when tucked, with a blazer on it.
(I turned to lead her to the mannequin and noticed my coworker making a strange face and cringing as she’s measuring her customer. As she’s using both hands to adjust the measuring tape and is about a foot and a half behind her customer, I can’t really radio her to see what’s up. So I just keep an eye on things to make sure the customer isn’t being rude or whatever.)
Customer: Oh, I actually like that look! Do you have all the pieces in [size]?
Me: The skirt is a single-number size, so I’ll grab both of the numbers you mentioned for you and unlock a room. The tank is on the table near the shoes, and the blazer is on this rack behind us.
(We get our items and meet at the fitting rooms, and I see my coworker’s customer leaving her to go check out the bras. As per my job of selling products, I was about to show the customer some shoes that would complete the look when…)
Coworker: (On radio) She f*cking FARTED on me.
(I’m a regular at a fashion shop and I’m going to the changing rooms with two items to try on. There’s a customer with no items in her hands standing behind a second customer waiting to try her items. Also, there’s a girl working for the store that calls out when a room is free.)
Me: *to [Customer #1]* “Excuse me, are you in line for a room?”
Customer #1: “No, I’m just waiting for someone.”
(She moves away from the line. [Customer #2], who was before her, goes in and then it’s my turn.)
Worker: *to me* “You can go in number five now.”
Me: “Great! Thanks.”
(I’m about to go when [Customer #1] comes in front of me with two new items.)
Customer #1: “I was here first! It’s my turn, not hers! It’s my turn!”
Me: “Whatever, just go.”
Worker: “Wow. It was your turn, right? I saw you ask her earlier if she was in line and she said no.”
Me: “Yes, I know. I just don’t want to make any trouble; she seemed agitated.”
(Another room is free and I start walking when [Customer #3] pushes me and tries to go in.)
Worker: “Excuse me, ma’am, this young lady was here before you. You need to go back to the line and wait for your turn.”
Customer #3: “I’m with [Customer #1], so I get to go in with her.”
Worker: “I’m sorry but I can’t allow two people in the same room. Please wait for your turn.”
(I start walking to the room when the worker starts walking with me.)
Worker: “There was no way someone else was going to pass in front of you again!”
Me: “Thanks a lot! Have a great day!”
When I am with friends on a city trip in London, I happen to come across a store of my favorite brand of clothing and I decide to check if they have a jacket I want but isn’t available in my size in the stores back at home.
Me:
“Okay, I went through the entire store, but no luck. They don’t have it.”
Friend #1:
“Oh, just show the picture of the jacket to one of the salespeople and they can check in the back.”
Me:
“Look, I worked in retail. There is no ‘in the back’ in these stores; if they had the jacket, they would just put it out on the floor. Why keep clothes hidden where no one can buy them?”
Friend #2:
“Just go and ask; they are bound to have it in the back.”
Me:
“Look, if it makes you happy, I will ask, but trust me, the store won’t have it in the back, even if they have a back room to begin with.”
I approach one of the salespeople.
Me:
“Hey, I know it is a long shot, and I don’t want to be that customer asking about the mythical back room, but would you happen to have this jacket somewhere?”
I show her the picture from their online store.
Employee:
“Oh, yes, it’s in the back! I’ll just get the key.”
The sales lady returns with a key and opens a door hidden behind a mirror which opens up to a room the size of the store filled with clothes not on the sales floor.
Friend #1:
“Oh, I must be hallucinating! I am seeing a room that does not exist”
Me:
“Oh, shut up. Now, does this jacket look good on me?”
