(A customer comes in to my store on a very busy holiday afternoon. Most of the store is on sale, all of it carefully marked and constantly checked because we have a lot of customers who would be happy to argue about a signage error.)
Me: “Good afternoon! Welcome to [Store]! Are you shopping for a special occasion today?”
Customer: “Do you have any coupons?” *not “Hi,” or “Good afternoon,” or “How are you?” or any other greeting*
Me: “Ma’am, you would have received any current coupons either in your mail, or by email, or text if you are signed up with us. We do not keep coupons in the store.”
(We never have, and anyone who has ever shopped with us knows this, but I have found that doesn’t keep even regular customers from asking anyway.)
Customer: “Hmph!” *points to full run of dresses on a rack with no sales signs* “Is this dress on sale?”
Me: “No, ma’am. All the sales dresses, and everything else on sale, are on racks with signs on top or have a tag hanging on their hanger.”
Customer: “Well, why not?!”
Me: “Ma’am, that’s a brand-new arrival.”
Customer: “Hmph. Well, I’m just looking.”
(She wanders through the store for nearly an hour, slowly collecting clothes and badgering the manager-on-duty and me as to whether each garment was on sale and how much the sale price is, and repeatedly asking about coupons and getting the same answer each time from both of us. After she’s tried on and made her selections, she brings her clothes to the counter and starts digging through her purse while I get the information I need to start ringing up her purchase and begin to do so.)
Customer: “I know I have a [Store] coupon in here! Where is it?” *she dumps what seems like hundreds of mailers from stores and other coupons on my counter* “I had a 15% coupon for this place. That woman! That woman at the [Other Location Store]; she took my coupon. Mm-mm-mmh! She took my coupon!”
(I continue ringing up clothes with a blank but smiling face during this monologue, saying nothing and refusing to take the passive-aggressive hint that I should come up with a coupon code.)
Customer: “Let me ask you something. Why would that woman take my coupon?”
Me: “Ma’am, our coupons work just like at the grocery store or any other store. You can only use them once.”
Customer: *showing absolutely no surprise that she got that answer* “Mmph. I still think I should have a coupon.”
Me: “I’m so sorry you can’t find one. Your total is [total]. You’ve rolled over your reward points with your purchase today; here’s your certificate. Have a great holiday!”
(We found out when clearing the fitting rooms that she’d left all her unwanted clothing in a pile, too. Afterwards, I told the manager-on-duty that there was no way I was going to hunt for a coupon code for her, given her behavior with the two of us before checking out. The MOD said she’d enjoyed watching me refuse to cave in to the woman at the register, and didn’t understand why people couldn’t figure out that being rude wouldn’t get them any favors.)
Related:
The Couponator 8: The Fabric Of Reality
The Couponator 7: The Forgotten Coupon
The Couponator 6: The Coupon Awakens
