Makes You Wish You Could Just Die(al)

, , , | Right | December 6, 2019

Me: “Thank you for calling [Tech Support]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “My landline phone is not working. It’s got no dial tone.”

Me: “Oh, I know what you mean; it can be a hassle.”

(We go through troubleshooting.)

Me: “Is one end of your phone cord plugged to the phone port?”

Customer: “Yes, it is.”

Me: “Is the other end plugged to the modem?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Well, that’s why you have no dial tone; let’s insert that end to the back of the modem just like we did with the phone.” *after several minutes of trying to walk the customer through*

Customer: “I don’t know how to do it; send someone over!”

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Unfiltered Story #169000

, | Unfiltered | October 8, 2019

I work in a contact center (customer service for DDA accounts) for a US bank. I had a call wherein the client is calling to know when his deposit would post to his account…

Me: Thank you for calling **** This is *****. How can I help you today?
Client: Yes, I made a check deposit and it’s still not on my account.
Me: I see, let me take a look into the account for you.

After authenticating the client…

Me: Where did you make the deposit? in the branch or ATM?
Client: In the branch *sounding upset*
Me: Was it just today?
Client: NO! It was 30 minutes ago! Why is it taking so long for you to give me my money even if the check is being drawn from your bank?!

So 30 minutes ago is not part of today then~

Listen To The (In)Voice Of Reason

, , , , , | Right | September 3, 2019

(Part of my job is going to customers’ offices to have invoices countered. This particular run, my manager is heading to the banks near a customer, so he offers me a ride. Since I usually just take a minute, he waits in the car while I go into the office. This happens after I’ve submitted the invoice for countering.)

Customer: “Your invoice is wrong. I’m not signing it until you fix it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. What’s the matter?”

Customer: “Your price for [product] is too high. We’ve never paid that much.”

Me: “Oh, I’m really sorry about that. I’ll take it back to the office and have it corrected.”

Customer: “No, don’t bother. Just change the price there and I’ll sign it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t have the authority to do that. Only one of the people who signed off on the invoice can correct it, and it’d need to be countersigned.”

Customer: “Okay, go. It’s your problem if this is late.”

(I take the invoice and go back to my waiting manager. When he asks me how it went, I tell him the customer refused the invoice because the price is wrong. He checks the price and says it is correct, and that he was the one who informed this particular customer that there was a price hike. He takes the invoice and tells me to come with him back to the customer.)

Manager: “Ma’am, my assistant here tells me you have a problem with the price. I have to tell you that this price is correct. We changed it last December, and I told you about it right away.”

Customer: “No, you didn’t. We’ve always paid [price] for [product].”

Manager: “You did until last December. Ma’am, this isn’t even the first invoice we’ve issued at this price. Your order last January was at this price, and you signed the invoice then.”

Customer: “No, I don’t think so. We’ve been ordering [product] from you at [price] for years.”

Manager: “Yes, ma’am, you have. That’s why I informed you of the price increase last December and asked if it was okay.”

Customer: “I never heard about a price increase.”

Manager: “Ma’am, I can show you our text exchange on my phone. If you have a minute, I can even call the office and get them to send me a picture of the last invoice, which you countersigned. The price is correct.”

(My manager and the customer get into an argument because the customer refuses to accept that she was informed of the price increase. When my manager shows her the text exchange in which she was informed of the new price and even confirmed it, she insists she be given the old price for just this order, insisting her loyalty means they deserve a discount. My manager stands his ground, giving all the reasons the price went up and even insisting that the customer’s loyalty is the only reason it didn’t go up more. She finally decides that if that’s the case, she doesn’t want the goods anymore and demands we take them back, which we cannot do because the goods are at their warehouse, not office, and we would have to schedule the delivery team to do it. The whole thing would also require approval from the sales director, who probably wouldn’t give it because of the size of the order. She finally angrily signs the invoice, but of course, has to give the classic:)

Customer: “Just so you know, we’re not ordering from you again. This is absolutely ridiculous.”

Manager: *smiles acidly* “Ma’am, given how small your orders are, I really don’t care. We’ll be back for your last check, then.”

Customer: “I’m not paying!”

Manager: “Then our lawyers will be in touch.”

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That Got Dark

, , , , | Working | August 30, 2019

My mom makes me do errands every now and again because my social anxiety is bad enough that I just lock myself in my room all day. 

I decide it would be a good idea to not wear my earphones in — challenge myself and all that. I don’t even hold onto my phone, a pen, or a book, as means of anchor and self-defense should I need it. Years of bullying does that to you.

As soon as I walk near the makeup section, it feels like I am entering a battlefield. Every retail worker within 10 to 30 feet approaches me to advertise their product. I just smile at them and keep saying, “No, I’m just looking around. Thanks.” 

I pick up a shade of lipstick that I like and ask one of the salesladies for help. I think she is going to swatch it on me. Nope, she does it on herself. Our skin tones are three shades different. She’s white, I’m brown, and the shade is metallic purple. 

I try to swatch it on me but she keeps pushing other shades like pink and other bright colors that hurt my eyes. I say that I like dark colors. She says I look ugly in those. So, I just do a U-turn and buy almost the same shade at another store, albeit a bit more expensive because anxiety just kicked me in the face and I don’t like confrontations. 

Lady, if you want customers, work on your attitude.

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The Cake Is A Lie, Part 8  

, , , , , | Right | August 15, 2019

(I am lining up in a coffee shop behind an old lady.)

Customer: “Which one if these cakes is not sweet?”

Employee: *confused look on his face* “Er, they are all sweet, ma’am.”

Customer: “I’m diabetic; I can’t have sugary treats. But my friend told me you have cakes that are not sweet.”

Employee: “Well, madam, all our cakes are unfortunately sweet, but we have a couple of sugar-free ones! Perhaps that’s better for you if you have diabetes!”

Customer: “Yes, yes, I will have that one, and a cup of your freshly-brewed coffee!”

(The employee turns around, catches my eye, and gives me a WTF look. A few minutes later, the employee comes back, carefully balancing a tray with a slice of cake and a cup of freshly-brewed coffee, and presents it to the customer. She looks pleased with what is laid in front of her and hurriedly takes a forkful of the cake.)

Customer: “This is not sugar-free! It’s so sweet! I told you I’m diabetic and I can’t have sweet things!”

Employee: *wanting to laugh but sympathetically looking concerned* “Ma’am, sugar-free doesn’t mean the cake is not sweet. It still is, maybe even sweeter than the cakes with regular sugar, but we use sugar substitutes so you can still enjoy a slice without having to worry about your sugar levels.”

Customer: *huffs, puffs, and looked displeased* “I won’t eat it! I don’t trust it anymore. Do you have cakes sweetened with brown sugar? Brown sugar is healthier than white!”

The Cake Is A Lie, Part 7
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 6
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 5

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