Unfiltered Story #207959

, , | Unfiltered | September 11, 2020

(My center takes calls from customers from the Asia Pacific region for a major web hosting company in the U.S. One call peeved me a lot because of the caller’s lack of honesty and penchant for excuses.)

*After greeting the customer and verifying his account*

Customer: I want to cancel my web hosting and request a refund because [gave reason].

*We do have a 30-day money back guarantee for many of our products, such as web-hosting, but in when I saw the date of purchase it is already past the allowable 30-days. I conferred with my manager and she agrees with my assessment.*

Me: [Customer’s Name] I noticed that the date of purchase was [date] and it is already past the 30-day allowable refund period.

Customer: Yes I know but we tried calling you last month and your phone number changed and we were not able to contact you.

*This was true, but there are other avenues of contact, such as online chat. I explained this to the customer.*

Customer: But your website said that to call customer support for cancellations and refunds.

Me: *Inwardly I became pissed at this excuse, but I kept a very civil tone*. Very well, I will make a request to issue a refund but this is no guarantee because despite the fact you were unable to contact us over the phone, the refund policy still is in effect because you could have contacted us via online chat, and I also see in the notes that you contacted us two days ago saying the same thing. I will send you an email for you to act upon and delete the product so I can request the refund.

[I sent the email and while he was checking his email he got disconnected. Needless to say I did not proceed with the request. My manager, who was sitting beside me, shrugged her shoulders, agreeing with my argument. I am very good in my CSR skills, but I don’t like being lied to. I always believe in the dictum that if you really want to, you will find a way; and make excuses when you don’t.]

This Price Is Beyond The Power Of Even A Genie

, , , , | Right | September 10, 2020

I work at one of the top hotel reservation websites as a reservation specialist and accept over the phone reservations. I have a caller who says she want to book for a hotel in Las Vegas for her and her daughters. The lady is obviously in her fifties based on the tone of her voice.

Caller: “I want a hotel reserved for me and my two adult daughters in Las Vegas for three nights. I want the room to have an indoor pool, and I want to be close to the airport.”

Me: “Sure, ma’am. Do you have a hotel in mind? Or I can give you some suggestions here on our system that are within your preferences.”

Caller: “No, I have a hotel. It’s called Aladdin Hotel. I’m looking at your website right now; it says $12 a night.”

I am shocked; $12 a night with an indoor pool?

Me: “Oh, let me find that on our system, then.”

After a few minutes, and after thoroughly checking the whole of Las Vegas for an Aladdin Hotel, I can’t find anything.

Me: “Are you sure it’s called ‘Aladdin Hotel’? I can’t find anything on our system with that hotel name.”

Caller: *Irritated tone* “Yessss! I’m looking at it right now on my laptop.”

I search again, and I ask for the hotel’s address and zip code and everything I can use to filter my searches, but to no avail; there’s no Aladdin Hotel.

Me: “Ma’am, we can’t find Aladdin Hotel on our system. I’ll do my best now here; can you spell the name of the hotel?”

Caller: “Are you that dumb? It’s A-L-A-D-D-I-N. Aladdin, like the Disney cartoon, Aladdin.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m really sorry, but I can’t find that hotel on our system or anywhere.”

Caller: “Oh, my gosh! Connect me to your manager! You are so dumb! Connect me now!”

I connect her to my manager, they do exactly what we did, and they can’t find Aladdin Hotel. My manager connects her back to me and she is now more furious than ever. 

Me: “Ma’am, is it A-L-A-D-D-I-N hotel?”

Caller: “Yes, you idiot!”

She shouts to one of her daughters in the background and says, “How do you spell ‘Aladdin Hotel’? This idiot doesn’t know how to spell!”

Daughter: *In the background* “H-O-L-I—”

Me: “Oh, ma’am, is it the Holiday Inn?

Caller: “Oh, finally! You get it! Somebody needs to get a more formal education, I see.”

I continued helping her. Unfortunately, it was not $12 a night. Ha!

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The World Isn’t Bready For This Customer

, , , | Right | June 15, 2020

Customer: “I want to return this bread. It’s supposed to be fresh, but the expiration date listed was a week ago! It’s starting to grow mold!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Let me take a look.”

I see that the printed date did, in fact, pass over a week earlier, and that the bread does seem to have some mold growing.

Me: “Hmm, that shouldn’t happen. If you could show me your receipt, I’ll process a refund.”

The customer hands me a receipt that does have the bread — brand and all — on it, but I notice the receipt is over two months old.

Me: “Ma’am, this is over two months old.”

Customer: “But the bread is expired!”

Me: “Ma’am, this kind of bread is good for about a month. If you had eaten it as soon as you bought it, it wouldn’t have made it to the expiration date.”

Customer: “But I wanted to eat it yesterday, and it was moldy! It should wait for me to want to eat it!”

Me: “Unfortunately, leaving bread out in the open doesn’t do much for its preservation. Next time, you could try putting it in the freezer.”

Customer: “No! You should make it so the bread stays fresh forever!”

Me: “Ma’am, that isn’t biologically possible.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “Because I’m not God.”

Several minutes later, a manager came over to see what the fuss was about. Naturally, he refused the refund.

This story is included in our Philippines roundup – part of the Not Always Right World Tour!

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They’re Quite Far Away From The Bells Of Bow

, , , , , | Right | April 29, 2020

I am a British-born Filipino. I am visiting family in the rural part of the Philippines for the first time. They are quite poor but run a fruit stand in their local marketplace, which they are very proud of. Not wanting to be dead-weight, and wanting to improve my Bisaya — local dialect — I spend time manning the market stall.

I spot some tourists one day, which is uncommon enough in this area, and I recognise the twang of the American accent. I decide to have a little fun.

Tourist: “How much for the bananas?”

I suddenly explode into my most stereotypical East-London cockney rhyming slang. Imagine Dick Van Dyke from “Mary Poppins” coming out of a Filipino face.

Me: “Gawdon Bennett, if it ain’t some lovely Yanks! Forget the Gertie Gitanas, my love, come and ‘ave a butchers at my Ungle Reg!”

The tourist just looks at me blankly, and I can’t help but smile. I return to my normal accent: neutral British.

Me: “Sorry, just having a laugh. The bananas are a hundred pesos for a bunch.”

The tourist is still just staring at me, as if I had two heads. Going on a hunch, I break down into a probably-offensive stereotype of the Filipino accent, like swapping Ps and Fs, the whole works.

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Saging por one-hundred.”

Tourist: “Oh, a hundred, cool! You should stick to English; I couldn’t understand your Filipino before.”

And that was when I learned never to joke with customers ever again.

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Makes You Wish You Could Just Die(al)

, , , | Right | December 6, 2019

Me: “Thank you for calling [Tech Support]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “My landline phone is not working. It’s got no dial tone.”

Me: “Oh, I know what you mean; it can be a hassle.”

(We go through troubleshooting.)

Me: “Is one end of your phone cord plugged to the phone port?”

Customer: “Yes, it is.”

Me: “Is the other end plugged to the modem?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Well, that’s why you have no dial tone; let’s insert that end to the back of the modem just like we did with the phone.” *after several minutes of trying to walk the customer through*

Customer: “I don’t know how to do it; send someone over!”

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