Get Ready For The Show

, , , , , , | | Legal | May 31, 2019

While in college I worked part-time as an EMT.

I will never forget this call. It was one of my very first Code 3 calls as an EMT.

It was during the summer. I had just started a few months before and we got a call of a Motor Vehicle Accident with persons trapped.

We loaded up, lights and sirens on, and we tore down the road. The call was only a five-minute drive without lights and sirens, but we made it there in about three minutes.

We arrived on the scene, and it turned out it was a minor fender bender. A young man about 17 or 18 tapped the bumper of the car in front of him after the car slammed on their brakes to pull into a fast food place.

The fire engine pulled up a minute later and they got out and asked me where the trapped occupants were. I had no idea.

We walked over to the car that was hit and we asked the lady who was trapped. She said her husband was, pointing to the man sitting in the passenger seat.

My partner walked over and opened the door, and the man started to complain about pain in his back, neck, and hips. My partner popped his head out and looked at me and mouthed, “He’s faking.”

It turns out they had just left the ER because the husband had cut his hand or something and were on their way home, and because of the medical complaint we had to transport him back to the ER. We decided since he was giving us the complaint of back and neck pain we would give him and his wife the show they wanted.

We got out the backboard, neck brace, and a huge roll of tape. He told us he didn’t need a neck brace or backboard. We told him that since he complained of back and neck pain it was protocol.

We put the neck brace on and made sure it was very snug, and then we put him on the backboard and taped his head down.

We transported him to the hospital and we told the triage nurse that he was a Code TM — Troublemaker. We ran six more calls that evening to the same ER over a period of nine hours, and they still had him strapped to the board until he finally checked himself out.

We found out later that the whole thing was an attempt by the couple to get a huge insurance payout from the young man’s insurance company, but the insurance company refused to pay them a dime.

The young man barely tapped their bumper. In fact, it was so light there wasn’t even a chip in the paint, so they got stuck with the towing fee — they insisted the car get towed to the body shop because it was undriveable — ambulance transport fee, and emergency room fees.

Because of the way she reported the accident by calling 911 and saying there was a person trapped, a huge response was made; three ambulances, a fire engine, several sheriff vehicles, and two highway patrol all responded Code-3 for a bogus call. She was lucky she didn’t get in trouble for making a false report.

At Least They Were On The Hospital Side

, , , , , , , | Legal | April 17, 2019

I grew up in a small country town that was mostly made up of farms. As a result, I learned to drive as soon as I could see over the steering wheel — sitting on my grandfather’s lap — but didn’t actually get my license until I was 21. My home town is separated by a river and, until about ten years ago, there was only one bridge. Quite often there would be an accident on the bridge, blocking the whole bridge, effectively cutting off one side of the town to the other.

Before I got my license, my best friend had her first baby. Three weeks before her due date, she and her fiance had a BBQ as a last hurrah before the baby came. As I was working late, by the time I got there, everyone but the mum-to-be was well over the legal driving limit. About 20 minutes after I arrived, my friend’s water broke and the contractions were coming hard and fast — she’d been suffering Braxton Hicks Contractions for about a month so when labour actually started she didn’t realise.

We called an ambulance, only to find that an accident had shut the bridge down and all three of the ambulances in town were stuck over on the other side. As we were on the same side of town as the hospital, I decided to drive her the kilometre and a half to it. I managed to get her, the father, and my boyfriend into her car and race to the hospital. With about one kilometre to go a police car pulled up behind me and put its lights and sirens on. I ignored the cops and kept going.

I pulled up in front of the emergency department and got out, only to face two pissed-off officers. I ignored them as I send the father in to get help and, without looking at the officers, opened the back door to get my friend.

As I did this, I said to the cops, “Look. No, I don’t have a license. Yes, I was speeding, but the bridge is closed, there are no ambulances on this side, and she’s having a baby. Everyone else is drunk; I’m sober. You can arrest me once she’s taken care of.”

Another contraction hit my friend and both the male officers went pale. Doctors and nurses came rushing out and managed to get her inside.

One cop said to me, “We’ll give you a warning due to the circumstances, but you need to get your license. We hope everything’s okay with the baby.”

My friend didn’t even make it to the maternity ward, and not even ten minutes later, she delivered a happy, healthy baby boy. I got my license the next week.

A Troubling Call

, , , , , | Related | March 26, 2019

(I hardly talk to my mother, but usually, our conversations are about me as a small child. Here is one such conversation.)

Mum: “You were actually a pretty calm child. But there were a few times where you would get yourself in trouble.” *laughs*

Me: *curious* “Like when?”

Mum: “Well, when you were around six, we taught you how to call 911 in case of an emergency. When you were at your Neenee’s–” *my grandmother* “–you decided you wanted to try it. So, you dialed 911 and started talking. You hung up quickly, but around ten minutes later, the police busted through the door. They thought you were in trouble.”

(She’s not wrong. I got in big trouble after everything was cleared up.)

The Alarm Has Been Terminated

, , , , , | Legal | March 25, 2019

(A call about a burglar alarm going off at three am comes over the radio for my partner and me to respond to. We coordinate our approach and arrival together and check the outside of the house. We notice the back door is cracked open, but both locks have been set and are still in the “locked” position. There is no sign of force, so we radio in that we are making entry. We work each room together, and as we come to one of the back bedrooms, my partner is going in first and hasn’t even broken the threshold when we hear a voice shout out.)

Voice: “GET YOUR HANDS UP!”

(The next thing I know, my partner fires off three rounds, with me dropping to a knee and coming around the side of him)

Partner: “GET DOWN! GET DOWN! Ge– Oh, s***.”

(That’s when I noticed he had just shot a stand-up cutout of Arnold Schwarzenegger as The Terminator holding a shotgun and, after my ears stopped ringing completely, I heard a lot of squawking and crashing. Turns out it was the home of a retired police officer from another state and his parrot was taught to say police terms. He and the wife were on vacation and they hadn’t shut the back door completely, which set off the alarm that night. The house was cleared with no one in it, and the PD paid to patch the holes in the wall. From then on, anytime we saw him we’d say, “SQUAWK! DON’T SHOOT!”)

911 Is Now Offering Coupons!

, , , , , , , | Legal | March 21, 2019

(I’m a police officer. A woman in her mid-50s calls 911 stating she has been robbed at one of our local stores and she needs the police quick, and then she hangs up abruptly. Naturally, the dispatcher puts out an urgent call and we all drop what we’re doing. I am first to arrive, followed by two other officers from my department, several sheriffs vehicles, and a highway patrol trooper who was on the highway next to the location. We get there and start looking around for the victim when I see a woman with her hand in the air, waving at us.)

Woman: “Yoo-hoo! Officers, over here!”

(A deputy and I walk over to her while the others prepare to do a search. One of the deputies who responded is getting his dog ready to track.)

Me: “It’s our understanding you’ve been robbed, ma’am? How long ago was it? What did they rob you of? Which direction did they go afterward?”

(She replies that it happened about ten minutes ago, that they robbed her of about $5, and that they are still inside the store! The deputy and I both look at each other.)

Deputy: “No, he can’t be that stupid.”

(I whistle over to the other guys and tell them that the suspect fled into the store, so they gather around so we can get more details on what the person looked like.)

Me: “What did he look like? What was he wearing?”

Woman: “Oh, he’s wearing a store uniform. It was the manager, [Manager].”

Me: “Wait. You’re telling us the manager came outside, robbed you, and then went back into work?”

Woman: “No! He robbed me inside the store. He wouldn’t accept my $5-off coupon for my purchases, so he robbed me of $5. I want him arrested, and you can be sure I am going to be calling his bosses to get him fired, but I can’t imagine him having a job after you guys arrest him, anyway.”

(The deputy and I exchange a look of disbelief, and we tell the other officers they can resume patrol as we have the situation under control.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I am going to go inside and get his side of the story since we got your side.”

(I walk in and the manager is already waiting for me. He is waiting to see if we need anything from him, as he thought there was an incident in the parking lot. He had no idea we were there about him. I tell him why are there and what she said and everything.)

Manager: *does an actual facepalm* “Oh, my god. She actually did it? That woman is f****** bonkers. We have issues with her every time she comes in, trying to use fake coupons she finds online, and when we tell her they can’t be used, she always says she’s going to call 911 and say I robbed her.”

(We talked to the cashier who checked her out, and she confirmed the woman was nuttier than a fruit cake. I walked back outside. I didn’t even have to say anything; the deputy knew by the look on my face to hook the lady up with some shiny new bracelets. She promptly started fighting with us and ended up on the ground after she tried to back-kick the deputy between the legs. As we dragged her to the deputy’s cruiser, she was screaming about how the police never believe her when she tells them she’s been robbed, and just carrying on. She was charged with misusing the 911 system, filing a false police report, and assaulting a law enforcement official. Last I heard, she spent a little bit of time in jail for that stunt and was banned from just about every store in the area as she caused trouble at all of them.)

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