A Very Testing Environment

, , , , , , | Learning | September 13, 2019

When I’m in high school, my school undergoes a campus change due to various issues with the current campus, mainly size. The change from the fifty-year-old original campus to the brand new campus occurs partway through my sophomore year, but we are still at the old campus for the first half of my sophomore year.

I’m taking a test in World History class around November when the fire alarm blares. My class dutifully leaves their tests and we exit the building. A fair bit of us are grumbling, since it’s pretty cold and breezy out and most of us are just in jeans and long-sleeved T-shirts. After a few minutes, we get the okay from the teachers to go back inside. We return to our tests and assume that’s the end of it.

We’ve barely warmed up when the fire alarm rings again. We grumble at getting interrupted again — most of us really just want to finish the test — leave the classroom, and go sit outside again until we get the okay to go back inside.

After we get back inside, it’s not five minutes before the fire alarm rings again.

We complain and go to leave the building, but fewer than half of us are out the classroom door before one of the other teachers calls out, “For goodness’ sake, go back to class!”

Everyone finishes the test on time and we get the fire alarm fixed so we won’t have drills every five minutes.

1 Thumbs
268

Blame Canada! Part 8

, , , , , , | Right | June 4, 2019

(I’m a dispatcher on the phone with an irate Boston customer for nearly twenty minutes about the fact that his hot tub will not be delivered until after the Canadian Holiday.)

Caller: “What do you mean, you will be delivering it Tuesday?! Today is Monday, and on Friday, the tracking said one business day until delivery!”

Me: “Yes, I apologize on our company’s behalf. But, as I have mentioned, we have a holiday in Canada on Monday and, therefore, it will not arrive until tomorrow.”

Caller: “That’s garbage! It’s not even a real holiday! Why the h*** is it not being delivered?”

(I’m tired of repeating myself, but I try once more.)

Me: “It is being delivered, sir, but all our drivers are off Monday so they can be with their families.”

Caller: “That’s it! Get me your manager on the phone now! Someone is going to be in hot water here!”

Me: “And it certainly won’t be you, sir. Have a nice day!” *click*

(My boss had to give me a little grief for this one, but after a good chuckle. Yes, Americans, Canadian holidays are as real to us as yours are to you.)

Related:
Blame Canada! Part 7
Blame Canada! Part 6
Blame Canada! Part 5

1 Thumbs
643

Get Ready For The Show

, , , , , , | Legal | May 31, 2019

While in college I worked part-time as an EMT.

I will never forget this call. It was one of my very first Code 3 calls as an EMT.

It was during the summer. I had just started a few months before and we got a call of a Motor Vehicle Accident with persons trapped.

We loaded up, lights and sirens on, and we tore down the road. The call was only a five-minute drive without lights and sirens, but we made it there in about three minutes.

We arrived on the scene, and it turned out it was a minor fender bender. A young man about 17 or 18 tapped the bumper of the car in front of him after the car slammed on their brakes to pull into a fast food place.

The fire engine pulled up a minute later and they got out and asked me where the trapped occupants were. I had no idea.

We walked over to the car that was hit and we asked the lady who was trapped. She said her husband was, pointing to the man sitting in the passenger seat.

My partner walked over and opened the door, and the man started to complain about pain in his back, neck, and hips. My partner popped his head out and looked at me and mouthed, “He’s faking.”

It turns out they had just left the ER because the husband had cut his hand or something and were on their way home, and because of the medical complaint we had to transport him back to the ER. We decided since he was giving us the complaint of back and neck pain we would give him and his wife the show they wanted.

We got out the backboard, neck brace, and a huge roll of tape. He told us he didn’t need a neck brace or backboard. We told him that since he complained of back and neck pain it was protocol.

We put the neck brace on and made sure it was very snug, and then we put him on the backboard and taped his head down.

We transported him to the hospital and we told the triage nurse that he was a Code TM — Troublemaker. We ran six more calls that evening to the same ER over a period of nine hours, and they still had him strapped to the board until he finally checked himself out.

We found out later that the whole thing was an attempt by the couple to get a huge insurance payout from the young man’s insurance company, but the insurance company refused to pay them a dime.

The young man barely tapped their bumper. In fact, it was so light there wasn’t even a chip in the paint, so they got stuck with the towing fee — they insisted the car get towed to the body shop because it was undriveable — ambulance transport fee, and emergency room fees.

Because of the way she reported the accident by calling 911 and saying there was a person trapped, a huge response was made; three ambulances, a fire engine, several sheriff vehicles, and two highway patrol all responded Code-3 for a bogus call. She was lucky she didn’t get in trouble for making a false report.

1 Thumbs
677

The Next One Won’t Even Make It Out Of The House

, , , , , | Healthy | May 27, 2019

(My friend is in labour and it becomes clear she is going to have her baby in the back of the ambulance. She is freaking out.)

Paramedic: *trying to comfort her* “This is nothing. Last year, a woman had a baby in the hospital car park.”

Friend: *wailing* “That was me!”

1 Thumbs
644

At Least They Were On The Hospital Side

, , , , , , , | Legal | April 17, 2019

I grew up in a small country town that was mostly made up of farms. As a result, I learned to drive as soon as I could see over the steering wheel — sitting on my grandfather’s lap — but didn’t actually get my license until I was 21. My home town is separated by a river and, until about ten years ago, there was only one bridge. Quite often there would be an accident on the bridge, blocking the whole bridge, effectively cutting off one side of the town to the other.

Before I got my license, my best friend had her first baby. Three weeks before her due date, she and her fiance had a BBQ as a last hurrah before the baby came. As I was working late, by the time I got there, everyone but the mum-to-be was well over the legal driving limit. About 20 minutes after I arrived, my friend’s water broke and the contractions were coming hard and fast — she’d been suffering Braxton Hicks Contractions for about a month so when labour actually started she didn’t realise.

We called an ambulance, only to find that an accident had shut the bridge down and all three of the ambulances in town were stuck over on the other side. As we were on the same side of town as the hospital, I decided to drive her the kilometre and a half to it. I managed to get her, the father, and my boyfriend into her car and race to the hospital. With about one kilometre to go a police car pulled up behind me and put its lights and sirens on. I ignored the cops and kept going.

I pulled up in front of the emergency department and got out, only to face two pissed-off officers. I ignored them as I send the father in to get help and, without looking at the officers, opened the back door to get my friend.

As I did this, I said to the cops, “Look. No, I don’t have a license. Yes, I was speeding, but the bridge is closed, there are no ambulances on this side, and she’s having a baby. Everyone else is drunk; I’m sober. You can arrest me once she’s taken care of.”

Another contraction hit my friend and both the male officers went pale. Doctors and nurses came rushing out and managed to get her inside.

One cop said to me, “We’ll give you a warning due to the circumstances, but you need to get your license. We hope everything’s okay with the baby.”

My friend didn’t even make it to the maternity ward, and not even ten minutes later, she delivered a happy, healthy baby boy. I got my license the next week.

1 Thumbs
822