Keep Note Of Taxis Like This

, , , , , , , | Working | January 8, 2018

(I live in Glasgow and have gotten a taxi to Queen Street Station. The driver has been perfectly calm and chatting with me up until now. When we get to the station, I see the cost is £17.60. I instinctively grab the first note in my wallet, believing only one to be in there, and hand it over.)

Driver: *furious* “This is a fiver!”

Me: “Oh, sorry. I didn’t know I had that in there.”

(I take it back and pull out the £20 note. In this time, however, the driver turns off the engine, locks the doors, and starts using his phone.)

Me: “Umm, here.”

Driver: “SIT DOWN! YOU AREN’T GOING ANYWHERE!”

(I sit down, confused and worried, as he dials the police, reporting my blunder as attempted theft. After he hangs up he spends the next couple of minutes mumbling at how the English, like me, can’t be trusted. When the police arrive, he gets out and starts ranting at them. I can only see the face of one officer, who doesn’t look too impressed. She comes over and talks to me through the window.)

Officer: “Now, I’m not going to get formal with you. You look respectable enough, and [Driver] phones us at least once week thinking someone is stealing from him. Can you pay?”

(I lift up the £20 and she looks at the meter before rolling her eyes.)

Officer: “So, what happened?”

Me: “I had another note in my wallet and took that out, instead.”

(She rolls her eyes again and goes back to the driver. The driver then comes back and takes my money. He hands me my change.)

Me: “You’ve short-changed me.”

Driver: *pretending to be calm* “No, I haven’t!”

Me: “You’ve given me 40p; I should have £2.40.”

(Both officers looked in the car at the meter, and the driver begrudgingly gave me the extra £2 before speeding off. The officers shrugged and left. I just made it to my train. The irony of it all was, he was also English.)

Where There’s Smoke, There’s Incompetence

, , , , , , , | Learning | January 2, 2018

My school likes to encourage students who have just enrolled for the next school year, so they get students who are in their second year to do a presentation. After the presentation they take the new students on a tour. I volunteer to do such a thing with three other students in my class, and all goes well, but right after the presentation the fire alarm goes off.

We all evacuate including the new students, but our school is quite big; all the students take up a lot of space around the building. We see no smoke. I’ve already heard this was not a drill from a teacher, but the lack of smoke is annoying the new students and the parents who brought them, most of whom look to me for guidance because I am the only girl of the volunteers and the oldest of them.

After an hour we can finally get back into the building. We do the tour with less students, because some have gone home out of annoyance. I go home late due to the delay and because I volunteered after-school hours.

Later I learn that one of the students from stage tech forgot to turn off the fire alarm before testing the smoke machine.

Quality Of Care In This School Is Going (Lock)Down

, , , , , , | Learning | January 1, 2018

(I am in class when the principal addresses the school over the intercom.)

Principal: “Attention, students. I have just received a notice from the police department. They’ve chased a man who’s been evading them to the woods behind the school.”

(Here he gives a brief description of the man, and mentions the fact he’s wanted for several violent crimes: armed robbery, assault and battery, etc. It’s clear this is a very dangerous man, and we all assume we’re going into lockdown.)

Principal: “If you leave the school building, go directly to your car and be vigilant on your way to the parking lot. Thank you.”

(Stunned silence. In order to get to the parking lot you have to walk right past the woods, where the man is apparently hiding. We all can’t believe the principal is not only not going into lockdown, but is allowing students to leave the building. Eventually, the principal comes back on the intercom and says that the police have the man in custody. After school I stop at a convenience store down the road where I regularly chat with the cashier.)

Cashier: “Did you guys have a safety demonstration at school today?”

Me: “No. Why?”

Cashier: “There were a bunch of police cars coming down the road toward the school a few hours ago, and they had the SWAT van, too. I didn’t hear that anything serious was going on, so I figured maybe they were showing off to you guys?”

(So, to recap. This man was so dangerous that the police had to send the SWAT TEAM and half the force to bring him in, and the principal didn’t even lock the front door. He also allowed students to leave the building during an active police operation. I can’t possibly see how that could go wrong.)

Sounds Like A Super Messy Pile-Up

, , , , , , | Working | December 19, 2017

(A major pile-up has occurred on the interstate, and the medic has made a group call to several of the nearby hospitals. Of all the people needing medical care, there are 14 Priority-Three, meaning they need emergency services. I’m at [Hospital #3], and ambulance calls are on a loud speakerphone.)

Medic: “[Hospital #1], how many can you take?”

Hospital #1: “[Hospital #1] is on trauma bypass right now.”

(This means their ER is full, but they can squeeze people in if it’s life or death.)

Medic: “Okay. [Hospital #2], how many can you take?”

Hospital #2: “[Hospital #2] can take five.”

Medic: “[Hospital #3], how many can you take?”

Hospital #3: “[Hospital #3] can take five.”

Medic: “[Hospital #4], how many can you take?”

Hospital #4: “[Hospital #4] can take approximately half as many patients as the other hospitals.”

(Cue the puzzled looks.)

Medic: “Okay, [Hospital #4], we’ll put you down for 2.5 patients.”

(Everyone cracked up, and started debating on whether the half patient would be top, bottom, left, or right.)

The True Justice League

, , , | Queens, NY, USA | Right | December 7, 2017

Throwback Thursdays

THROWBACK THURSDAY! Check out this awesome story that you may have missed! What’s the wildest experience you’ve had with the police while at work? Let us know in the comments!

(A cop comes in, in uniform and out of breath.)

Bat Cop: “Batman.”

Employee: “Sorry?”

Bat Cop: “Batman. Mask. Where can I find one?”

Employee: “Uh, we’ve got a selection of—”

(The cop grabs a mask, shoves a stack of money into the employee’s hand, and runs out.)

Employee: “What the f*** just happened?”

(I’m wondering the same thing, so I take off after the cop, only to find a second cop waiting for him.)

Second Cop: “You find one?”

Bat Cop: *puts on the mask* “Yeah. Think it’ll work?”

Second Cop: “It’s worth a shot…”

(They walk around the corner, so I follow to find a drunk man clinging to a second-story window dressed as Spider-Man.)

Drunk Spidey: “You all just fake cops. Gonna be the Joker or some s*** behind that badge!”

Bat Cop: *in a deep voice* “Spider-Man. Come on down. We have work to do.”

Drunk Spidey: *after a long pause* “We do?”

Bat Cop: “The city is in danger. I need your help.”

(Slowly, the drunk man climbs down until he’s hanging from the bars of the window. One of the cops has found a stepladder and they manage to cajole him into climbing down. It looks like they’re going to let him go until…)

Drunk Spidey: “Yo, Batman! Is there such thing as, like, Bat-heroin? ‘Cause I used all my Spider-heroin!”

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