Employees Are People, Too

, , , | Right | February 27, 2021

I work in a stand in a mall. The top shelves of the stand have glass covers and are where most of our product is laid out. I spill a glass of water on the floor whilst serving a customer, so when they buy their items and leave, I run to the restroom to get some paper towels. We don’t have our own restroom; we use the public ones.

When I come back, I have three groups of people around the stand waiting for me, which is normal. What isn’t normal is that one couple has decided they couldn’t wait for me to come back, so they opened the shelf themselves and checked out the products.

I am shocked and just stare at them as I go behind the stand.

Customer: *Annoyed* “Oh, so it’s rude that we took a look around ourselves?”

Me: *Deadpan* “Kind of, yes.”

Customer: *Still annoyed* “But you not being at your workplace isn’t rude?”

Me: *Deadpan* “No. Am I not allowed to use the restroom?”

She gasped and mumbled something under her breath as they walked away. Honestly, the nerve of some people.

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Stepping A Foot Into Math

, , , | Right | January 25, 2021

I’m the manager of a concession stand in an amusement park. We have hot dogs that are much larger than your average one; each one is a foot long. We call them Bubba dogs. A customer is staring at the menu, holding up the line for everyone else while her family stands silently.

Guest: “What’s a Bubba dog?”

Me: “That’s our footlong, all-beef hot dog! They’re in that case right there; you can see them!”

Guest: “But how big are they?”

Me: “A foot long, ma’am.”

Guest: *Stares* “So, how big is that?”

Me: *Faltering* “Um, about this big?”

I hold my hands a rough distance apart. The guest’s mother and husband are looking exasperated at this point, and each of them chimes in.

Mother: “It’s twelve inches, dear.”

Husband: “Honey, she just said it’s a foot!”

Guest: “Listen, it’s math! Math was never my strong point!”

I have no idea what to do so I weakly gesture, again, to the clear glass case right next to us with the Bubba dogs in it. The guest looks at them and obviously just now realizes her obliviousness.

Guest: “Oh, that’s too big! Just give me a regular hot dog.”

After they received their food and walked away, I could still hear her protesting to her family that “math was never her strong point.”

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A Signature Sign Of Fraud

, , , , , | Right | December 23, 2020

I work at a Christmas market selling sausages at a booth. One customer doesn’t seem happy with the change I gave her.

Customer: “Excuse me, this bill has something written on it. I want another bill.”

Me: *Looking at the bill* “I can’t find anything wrong.”

Customer: *Sighs* “Right here.”

She points at a part of the bill; I can’t help but chuckle.

Me: “Madam, this is the signature of our financial minister. There is one like that on every banknote; it’s printed on and without it, it wouldn’t be valid and would be a forgery.”

Customer: “But there isn’t one on this one!”

She pulls out another note, with an obvious signature on it. I point it out to her.

Me: “There is a signature there, as well, see? It’s just from the last minister. I’m sorry, but you’re keeping other people waiting and I don’t have the time to look through my change to get you a bill with another signature.”

Customer: *Huffs away angrily*

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Teaching The Kids Free Speech

, , , , , | Right | December 22, 2020

I’m doing a Christmas craft show, where I’m selling a variety of things. A man and his three kids — a young daughter around four or five, and two boys around eight to ten — come up to browse. The father and one of the boys are browsing quietly, and the girl is making noises of delight. I have this conversation with one of the boys:

Boy: “Why does your stuff cost so much?”

Me: “So I can afford to buy the stuff to make them and so I’m reimbursed for the time and skill I used to make them.”

Boy: “Oh. I wish I could have this for free.”

I don’t really have a response for this, so I turn to look toward the rest of the family.

Boy: “Excuse me.”

Me: “Yes?”

Boy: “I said I wish I could have this for free.”

Me: “Yup. I heard you.”

The father then called the son over to him, gave me an apologetic look, and ushered his family away.

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Time To Change Your Methods

, , , , | Legal | December 17, 2020

I am at an agricultural show buying food from one of the food outlets. I pay with a fifty-dollar note but only get change back from a twenty.

Me: “Excuse me, I gave you a fifty.”

Vendor: “No, you’re mistaken; it was a twenty.”

Me: “It was definitely a fifty, because I just got money out of the ATM behind me and all it gave me was fifty-dollar notes.”

Vendor: “Well, I’m positive it was a twenty.”

Me: “Okay, then, can you call someone to count your cash drawer?”

Vendor: “I don’t know who I can call?”

Me: “How about [Food Venues Manager]?”

This manager just happens to be my uncle.

Vendor: “You know what? I’m just going to take you at your word and give you the thirty dollars because I trust you.” 

A couple of days later, I mention what happened to my cousin, who also works at the venue.

Cousin: “Was this at [stall] next to the stadium?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Cousin: “Dad put me there because he noticed the takings were lower than they should have been. As soon as I walked in, I caught the woman doing just what you mentioned; she shortchanged a customer and then put the change and a couple of fifties out of the till into her pocket. When she saw that I had seen it, she threatened me with violence if I told on her, and then she told me that she was friends with [Uncle] and he would believe her over a teenage skank like me.”

Me: “And there I was thinking she had made an honest mistake.”

Cousin: “Yeah, no. I gave Dad a quick call and he turned up a couple of minutes later with the police. You should have seen her face when I called him Dad.” *Laughs* “They found about $500 in her apron pocket. I smiled at her as she was led away in cuffs.”

This story is part of our Best Of December 2020 roundup! This is the last story in this roundup, but if you’d like to read more of our favorite stories, you can always check out November’s roundup next!

Read the next Best Of December 2020 roundup story!

Read the Best Of December 2020 roundup!

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