It is New Year’s Day, and much to my dismay, I have to work a whopping eight-hour shift selling 50p (64 US cents) hot dogs and ice cream. Thankfully, the store is closing at 8 PM instead of the usual 10 PM for the sake of it being New Year’s.

At 8 PM, I rush to cut off the queue of people, which was met by the usual “please, I just want ONE thing” or “Surely, you can let ONE more in.”.

However, on this fateful night, this mother appears out of nowhere and asks me:

Customer: “Can my daughter have an ice cream?”

There is no sight of a child with her. At this point, the ice cream machines are already being turned off and I had already rejected quite a few people who used the same excuses, and so it wouldn’t be fair to other people if I let her in and not them, and so I politely explain:

Me: “The queue was closed a while ago; I can’t let anyone in.”

Customer: *Explodes.* “IT’S NEW YEAR’S DAY AND YOU WONT LET MY DAUGHTER HAVE AN ICE CREAM?! THIS IS RIDICULOUS! YOU ARE SO SELFISH! IT’S ONLY ONE ICE CREAM! YOU WON’T GET FIRED FOR IT! WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?!”

She keeps screaming at my face. Once again, I explain to her the simple fact of how opening and closing hours work. She yells more obscenities at me and walks up to the family who are the last people in the queue. Essentially, she paid them cash in exchange for them ordering for her. And whilst doing so, she insults me loudly in front of me, whilst giving me snide looks and glares.

For context, I am Asian. The last straw is when she pulls her eyes back, doing that… yeah, THAT Asian mocking thing. All whilst insulting me right in front of me, claiming how I ruined her day, etc.

I’m fuming at this point, but because RENT is a priority, I go back behind the counter where my manager is serving the last customers. When the last customers are served, this customer runs up to the counter to badmouth me to my manager, complaining that I was being rude, didn’t have manners, providing bad customer service, blah blah.

My boyfriend, fortunately, was working with me on the same day and was serving at the counter alongside my manager. As the mother is ranting about me, he tells her:

Boyfriend: “Maybe you should be the one to learn a thing or two about manners.”

And hence, the s***show begins as she yells at both of us, cursing and flipping us off. My manager kindly asks her to get out.

Unfortunately, she did get her ice cream.

I work with one other coworker at a small pretzel kiosk in a mall. Over the holidays, the mall is open until midnight. The owner/boss has come to check on me as I am closing up.

Boss: “So, I was thinking of staying open until midnight to go along with the mall’s extended opening hours.”

Me: “No, thank you. Who wants to buy a pretzel at midnight?”

Boss: “Let me ask [Coworker] if he’d be willing to do it.”

[Boss] sends [Coworker] a text and then starts counting my drawer. A few minutes later, [Coworker] texts him back. [Boss] reads it, laughs, and shows it to me:

Coworker’s Message:

Frankly, I would rather drink directly from the
Udder of a diseased
Cow than work until midnight at the
Kiosk and
To let you know
How I really feel I would
Advise you to read
The first letter of each line of this message.

Using our amazing deductive abilities, we went with that message being a “no” and stuck to our regular 10 PM closing time.

Years ago, I worked at a jewelry stand in a mall. A woman walks up, slaps a watch and a receipt on the counter, and goes on a long rant:

Customer: “You’re all just awful! This watch was a gift, and it broke minutes after my daughter put it on! You’ll give me my money back—”

Me: “Ma’am…”

Customer: “—and compensation for the inconvenience, and—”

Me: “—Ma’am!”

Customer: “—what?!”

Me: “This is [Jewelry Stand]. You got this at [Watch Stand].”

Customer: “Stop lying to get out of giving me my money back!”

I pick up the receipt and point to the [Watch Stand] logo on it, and then point over to the watch stand.

Customer: “Well… you shouldn’t look so similar!”

Me: “Yeah… anyhoo, [Watch Stand] is twenty feet over there with the giant replica of the same logo on the receipt. Oh look, it’s glowing!”

The customer snatches the receipt and watch back and storms off in a huff.

It’s about an hour before closing, and I’m behind the counter of our little coffee and pastry van. We have a regular end-of-day deal: all pastries go half price during the final thirty minutes before we shut.

A woman stomps up to the counter.

Customer: “I’ll take a pastry.”

Me: “That’s £2.50.”

Customer: “No, they’re half price.”

Me: “Sorry, the half-price deal starts half an hour before closing. That’s in another thirty minutes.”

Customer: *Huffs loudly.* “But I’m here now. Just give it to me for half price! No one else is going to come and buy your old-looking pastries now!”

Me: “You mean like you just wanted to?”

She crosses her arms and starts staring.

Customer: “How long have you been in this country? You need to show more respect to local Brits!”

I am about to explain to this woman that I was born and raised in the area, when an old man sitting nearby with a cappuccino (who I’d served about ten minutes earlier) strolls on over. He pulls out his wallet:

Other Customer: “I’ll take all six pastries that you have left there, thank you.”

The woman’s eyes nearly pop out of her head.

Customer: “You can’t do that! They’re reserved for me! You’re not allowed to sell them!”

Me: “…you haven’t bought them.”

Customer: “That’s my pastry!”

Other Customer: “Then you should have bought it.”

Customer: *Glaring at the old man, but talking to me.* “Fine! I don’t want anything that your kind made anyway!”

She stormed off and I hand the bag of six pastries to the guy.

Me: “That’s £7.50, please.”

Other Customer: “You mean £15?”

Me: “Oh, my phone conveniently ran out of battery. I’m just assuming it’s about half an hour before I close.”

Other Customer: *Happily tapping his card for £7.50.* “The wife will be pleased! Unlike whoever that was.”

Me: “She was a bit angry, wasn’t she?”

Other Customer: “And stupid! Going on about British this and that but flipping out about not getting a DANISH pastry?! Stupid person!”

Reading this story reminded me of a very similar encounter. I’m working at an electronics kiosk in a shopping centre, selling phone cases and screen protectors. A customer walks up holding a phone with a crack in the screen.

Customer: “My screen broke.”

Me: “Oh, we don’t offer screen repair, only screen protectors.”

Customer: “What do you mean? It says right there that your screen protectors prevent damage.”

Me: “Well, yes, it’s just preventative.”

Customer: “What’s that mean?”

Me: “The protector’s like car insurance; helpful only before the accident.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, like how there’s no point getting insurance after the accident. You need it before.”

Customer: “I’m not following. Insurance pays out if you get into an accident.”

Me: “Yes, but only if you have the insurance before the accident.”

Customer: *Eyes widen.* “Wait… really?”

Me: “Uh… yeah? No insurance company will insure you after the accident.”

Customer: “So wait… all these people are just around paying for insurance… for nothing?”

Me: “Hopefully, yeah!”

Customer: “That’s crazy!”

Me: “Wait, sir, are you driving around without insurance?”

Customer: “Of course I am! I haven’t had an accident yet!”

He stormed out, with me too shocked to do anything. Let’s hope that final ‘yet’ won’t be prophetic!

Related:
A Crack In Time(Machine)