In our country, there a lot of people who don’t have bank accounts. Therefore, to get credit on their cell phones they need to buy prepaid cards and ‘load’ the credit on to them. Doing this can be an elaborate procedure, especially on older phones.

A lot of older customers have older phones, usually hand-me-downs from younger relatives who have found ways to upgrade.

I work in a phone kiosk in a mall, selling the prepaid phone cards along with other phone-related merchandise. A really old lady approaches me and starts speaking to me in very slow Tagalog.

Old Lady: “I… can… buy… load… for the phone?” 

Me: “Yes, I can sell that to you.”

This old lady then opens a plastic bag (she doesn’t have a purse) and starts putting out smaller bags, each containing coins. 

Old Lady: “I’ve… been… saving!”

I can tell from her accent that Tagalog is not her normal dialect. She actually sounds like she speaks my home dialect.

Me: “Excuse me, but do you speak Cebuano?”

The old lady’s eyes go wide and she suddenly explodes in a flurry of Cebuano.

Old Lady: “Yes, I do! Oh, The Lord has blessed me with you! I don’t like speaking Tagalog but I moved to the city, and I have to learn and usually my daughter helps me but she works two jobs now and I need to help her by helping myself and the least I can do is figure out my phone and…”

She continues on like this in a long, single, running sentence. Luckily, I have similar fast-speaking matriarchs in my family, so I am used to processing verbal information at this speed. At some point, I do need to steer the conversation back to why she is here, though.

Me: “—so, ma’am. You want to buy load for your phone? How much?”

Old Lady: “I’ve been saving! I think I have 500 pesos. Is that enough to call home?”

This is about $9 USD. It usually isn’t enough to do too much, but I get the feeling I am looking at the amount that this woman has been saving for a long, long time.

Me: “You need to call Cebu?” *Our home island.*

Old Lady: “Yes.”

Me: “I can set you up for a 500 peso deal where you can call Philippine numbers unlimited for a month.”

Old Lady: “A whole month! Bless you! I thought I would be getting maybe a phone call or two? One time I bought a 250-peso card and I only got one phone call.”

I didn’t say it, but sadly whoever this old lady spoke to before must have conned her. As for me, I also am telling a little lie; she would not be able to get a whole month of unlimited calls for 500 pesos. It actually costs double that, but I am not about to leave this poor old lady without a means to call home when she’s alone and scared in the big city.

Me: “I have a special card you can use, ma’am.”

She buys the card and then holds it in her hand, almost protectively. This $9 single piece of card in a plastic wrap is likely the single most expensive purchase she’s made in a while.

Old Lady: *Nervous and slow.* “I… don’t see too well. I can’t see all the numbers.”

Me: “Shall I add the load to your phone?”

Old Lady: *Quick and excited again.* “Yes! Bless you! The Lord sent me to you today!”

I go through the over-complicated process of adding the money on to her phone, and then selecting the package she will need to get unlimited calls.

Me: “You should be able to call home now.”

This old lady then reaches into the same plastic bag and shows me a phone number.

Old Lady: “I can’t see all the numbers. Can you call this number for me?”

My heart breaking, I decide I am going to make sure this old lady never has problems talking to her relatives back home ever again.

I save the number into her very old phone, and then I figure out how to speed dial the number using the minimal amount of button presses. I manage to set it up so that she simply has to press three buttons a second apart to be able to auto-dial the number she gave me.

I explain this process to her:

Old Lady: “Young people! Really you’re so smart! You speak Tagalog, and English! And you know the phones! When I was young we just knew about fetching the water and cooking rice. So smart! Young people are so smart!”

She tries it out, and it works!

For the next hour she sits down next to my kiosk and talks to her sister and tells her about all of her adventures since she moved from her rural province into the big city. She is overjoyed and talking furiously. She keeps coming up to me to ask if she will run out of time soon, and I happily remind her that she can keep talking for thirty more days and she still wouldn’t run out.

After her call she thanks me and eventually leaves, with me smiling from ear to ear.

Since that day she comes back every month, with a bag of coins and asking for me to upload it to her phone. I don’t even count the bag of coins anymore; I know she’s good for it.

It can be scary for an older person from the country to move to the big city. If I could help her maintain a connection back to the home village, then that was what I was going to do. 

I look forward to her visits every month.

This story is part of the Best-Feel-Good-Stories Of-2023 roundup!

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Client: “Can you please add a QR code to my website’s homepage?”

Me: “Absolutely, do you have the QR code already or do you need me to create one?”

Client: “Please create it for me.”

Me: “Sure. What is the link that you want visitors to go to if they scan the QR code?”

Client: “My website’s homepage.”

Me: “…”

I am a part of the central reservations team of a big hospitality company. I get a caller from one of our consolidated hotels.

Me: “Hi! Thank you for calling Reservations, [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Guest: “Do you have a Lost & Found department?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am!”

Guest: “I just wanna let you know that I lost my virginity in room 203.” *Click*

I am doing an internship for a few months. I am living in quite a poor area and going to a very local gym. During my first days at the gym, I ask the coach there what the barbell weight is, as it doesn’t look like a standard fifteen or twenty kg.

Me: “Hey, how heavy is this barbell?”

Coach: “Oh, we don’t know; we don’t have a scale.”

I’m a bit confused because there is one just at the entrance.

Me: “What about that one there? It doesn’t work?”

Coach: “Oh, yes, it does, but not for that.”

Me: *Confused* “Why?”

Coach: “Because it’s only for humans.”

Me: “But…”

This was Manila; I didn’t speak English fluently, and neither did the coach, so I didn’t argue anymore, but he seemed rather confused when I weighed myself and then myself AND the barbell.

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His Opinion Carries No Weights

Customer: “I want to return this bread. It’s supposed to be fresh, but the expiration date listed was a week ago! It’s starting to grow mold!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Let me take a look.”

I see that the printed date did, in fact, pass over a week earlier, and that the bread does seem to have some mold growing.

Me: “Hmm, that shouldn’t happen. If you could show me your receipt, I’ll process a refund.”

The customer hands me a receipt that does have the bread — brand and all — on it, but I notice the receipt is over two months old.

Me: “Ma’am, this is over two months old.”

Customer: “But the bread is expired!”

Me: “Ma’am, this kind of bread is good for about a month. If you had eaten it as soon as you bought it, it wouldn’t have made it to the expiration date.”

Customer: “But I wanted to eat it yesterday, and it was moldy! It should wait for me to want to eat it!”

Me: “Unfortunately, leaving bread out in the open doesn’t do much for its preservation. Next time, you could try putting it in the freezer.”

Customer: “No! You should make it so the bread stays fresh forever!”

Me: “Ma’am, that isn’t biologically possible.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “Because I’m not God.”

Several minutes later, a manager came over to see what the fuss was about. Naturally, he refused the refund.

This story is included in our Philippines roundup – part of the Not Always Right World Tour!

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